Half and Half, or there about

[Gillian Gigs]

I didn't want to interfere with another post, but the question of what do you really want got me thinking.

So here is the question, if we lived in a world where noone took notice, or cared how people dressed, how many of us would live our lives mixing and matching our boy and girl wardrobes?
It is just that many talk about wanting the full experience of passing, and that is ok too. What about that middle zone of I'm just a guy that wants to dress as I please, but too much of what I want is found in the womens wear section. How many of us are out there?

[dandy]

Count me in that group!

[Rachel Morley]

Me too. I wear women's clothes in boy mode all the time but they are not that "in your face" if there was a world like you say I would add more girlier items in boy mode and in girl mode things would be the same as they are now.

[RADER]

I am on the same train, I wear panties 24/7 now for better than 5 years. I wear fem jeans for over
3 years now. Some times I like to wear knee highs instead of regular sox's.
When I can get away with in, I wear a bra under a heavy shirt.
If only I could wear a skirt outside in public with out raising attention, Boy, I would go for it.
So when does these new rules start?
Rader

[Ashley_K]

This is such a deep question. Our society has created a hierarchy and has granted men more "power" than women. Therefore, anything a male does that reflects something feminine is a sign of being "weak." That's what keeps us CD folks so bottled up and forces us to go completely all out and feel most of us have to pass. For gg women on the other hand, when they adopt a male trait, it's a sign of power (which can also threaten men). Therefore, it's ok for women to have pressure release valves of wearing pants with a lacy top, getting that blending you speak about.

My wife doesn't like me wearing a bra because technically, it serves no purpose on my body. I argue that there are plenty of flat-chested women where it serves no purpose either, other than being symbolic. Do you feel that a bra would be a component of your mixed wardrobe, or do you feel that all clothes should have a purpose?

In a perfect world, we could all just wear what we want. To change a pair of pants into a skirt, all you have to do is break the inseam in the pants and sew the two halves together. That minor change is enough to cause our entire society to freak out. It's still a piece of fabric that started off as a cotton boll.

Thanks for the topic!

~Ashley~

[Stephy]

Yes, I would like that too. Many people on this board have a separate identity for their femme self, but I see myself as a single persona that just doesn't fit into the binary male/female society. I would love to be able to wear femme clothing, but not have to worry about always going the whole way with wig, forms, makeup etc. I think I have been forced by society to either be in drab or en femme. It seems that society finds even a non-passing MTF crossdresser more palatable if it can be seen they are making an effort to fit the female stereotype. A guy with short hair, stubble, hairy legs and arms wearing femme clothing will be assumed to be doing it as a joke and laughed at.

[JessicaMN]

i would love to live in a world where clothes were clothes, and not gender specific

[ryenmatt]

That would be me as well. I am just a guy who happens to like clothes that are in the women's section. I don't give much thought to whether or not I pass as a woman cause guess what I AM NOT A WOMAN. Who decides what clothes are men's and which are women's?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gillian, That sounds like a fun place.

[Marguarite]

Gillian, You've just described my perfect world. My dressing is only limited by what my wife feels comfortable with.

We grocery shop together on Saturday's, and I am mixing my wardrobes. She let's me know when I have pushed my limit, and need to be more "boy".

Around the house full freedom, but for now, she doesn't want to explain to other people. My wife has been very accepting and I"ll respect her feelings.

[Tracii G]

I wear what I want and mix genders when I dress.Girls jeans,shoes and tops everyday.
Thats my normal boy mode.

[Beverley Sims]

I think we are all out there to some extent.
I mix and unmatch clothing 50/50 at least in male mode.
Nothing male in my female presentation though. :)

[UNDERDRESSER]

Me too Gillian.

Ashley has hit the nail on the head as far as I'm concerned. I suspect many men are extremely inhibited about showing gentler traits as a a guy. "Well, if I can't be like this as a guy, I'll become a woman!" and so they dress, and try to pass. (not saying that's the only reason, but I feel that it's behind more CD behaviour than most give credit for)

That's how I thought I had to be, these days I realise it isn't so. If I can get up the nerve to go out in a skirt, then I can. The only rules that say otherwise, are written by people that don't count, as far as I'm concerned. I wear skirts around the house all the time, my friends upstairs and the neighbours have seen me, world didn't end. Nobody seemed to care, certainly didn't cause any problems about it.

Your mythical world is actually coming to be, in some places.

[Connief]

Though I do wear feminine things 24/7 in and out of boy mode, I like your idea!

[Gillian Gigs]

I too see Ashleys point about weakness and how men don't show it. But maybe that is the point...maybe they/we should! We all live behind these facades spending too much time being something we are not. From birth we search for our place in the pecking order, and for what? The alpha males set the rules and expect the rest of us to tow the line??? Or are they just looking for more warm bodies to fill the uniforms and carry the guns? My point is this, I just want to be me and if that means that I wear a skirt and pantyhose then I should still be able to do it without ridicule or someone thinking the lesser of me for it. I underdress all of the time, I wear jeans, shorts in the summer, but a skirt is cooler and feels better on a hot day. Why don't I, because I am in a position in my community where it would cause a rough ride for others around me if I did. Yet, it is nice to know that I am not alone, maybe we should build a resort so we could do it for a holiday time. It would probably be booked 2 years in advance...LOL

[UNDERDRESSER]

I'm moving further and further out from behind that façade every day.

[Lady Mandy]

I'm a lot like yourself Gillian, fine with being a male for the most part, but like expressing both my male and female as well! Wish a place existed as you speak of where it just didnt matter & we could all dress how we feel! . . .

Mandy

[sometimes_miss]

So here is the question, if we lived in a world where noone took notice, or cared how people dressed, how many of us would live our lives mixing and matching our boy and girl wardrobes?
You're talking about a world of blind people. Because as long as appearance has anything to do with sexual attraction, it will matter what types of clothes are worn to accentuate either a male or female's characteristics. About oh, 80% of female clothing is designed to increase male sexual attraction; the only stuff that isn't, is prepuberty clothes, loose stuff worn by old women, and the occasional work uniform that is designed to be completely asexual (which doesn't always work; example, lots of women wear surgical scrub uniforms, police uniforms, even military uniforms, but wear them nice and snug to show off their figures).

[molly m]

i'm new here (activated a little more than 24 hours ago), and i'm having so much fun "talking" and "listening" about dressing up for the first time ever. i shudder to think what proportion of those hours has been spent doing so! and while i've spent some time babbling on in posts to various threads, the vast majority of that time has been spent "absorbing" the thoughts and perspectives of so many of us in so many different threads on so many different topics. while i certainly would have expected it to be the case, i'm still fascinated by the extent to which, while we all have this huge thing in common, we all have our own individual thoughts, perspectives and motivations relative to this huge thing. it's like the snowflake analogy; they all look basically the same to the naked eye but they say, under microscopic examination, they are all unique.

in that vein, i found this thread to be so great and thought provoking, because it directly highlighted something that i was learning from taking in the posts of everyone on various threads: there does seem to be a basic "split" amongst us on this very issue. i was struck by the fact that everyone who chimed in on this thread (at least as of when i started this rambling novel) was on one side of that line: those who simply enjoy wearing women's clothes, even mixed with their male clothes. but, i know from all i've "absorbed" in this forum, that a lot of us are on the other side of that line. i certainly understand the other side of that line because, for years, i simply enjoyed wearing pantyhose. but, since i started dressing up completely, including a wig, i have discovered how much i enjoy temporarily transforming into a girl. the enjoyment now comes from that complete psychological transformation. i personally would no longer enjoy being "half and half." i only like being one or the other. for me (and, from what i've read, many of us), mixing attire would only dilute my time as a man and dilute my time as a woman. but, that's just me, and i find the contrast of perspectives on this issue so interesting! (i'm certain that none of this qualifies as novel thought and i apologize for dwelling on what is probably widely understood by all of you, but it's novel to me and i enjoyed commenting about it; i'm sure you've already deleted me if i was just boring you with this, but it's noteworthy to me!)

i think it was the threads that discussed wearing pantyhose, stockings with garter belts, panties and bras under man clothes that started me thinking about this. i've worn pantyhose under jeans before. it only leaves me waiting for the moment that i can shed the jeans, because i can't see my legs in the pantyhose and feel the man clothes on my legs. for me, that's just a state of limbo. the psyhological state of being a guy who has some women's clothes on, whether concealed or not just doesn't do it for me.

not sure about the whole "power" discussion; i'm sure that's true but, for me, the issue is that men don't wear anything that women don't also wear; men wear shirts, sweaters, coats, jackets, pants, shorts, underwear, socks, shoes and, to some extent, jewelry. women wear all of that, albeit sometimes feminine styles of same. but, women also wear dresses, skirts, pantyhose and stockings and bras, and varieties of footwear that can't even be considered comparable to men's shoes (although women wear plenty of those, too). so, women have their own gender-specific clothing; men do not.

the idyllic world that we should all aspire to isn't one that is simply limited to an acceptance of items of women's clothing on men; it is a world in which there is acceptance of anyone expressing their masculine or feminine sensibilities in any fashion, and to any extent they choose, at any time. the science tells us that we all have the genes of both genders in us. there is no reason for concluding that we should not be allowed to act accordingly.

thank you for making me think about this. i love it!

[Janice An]

I was thinking about this just 20 minutes ago before reading this thread.

I would probably wear female attire 95% of the time. It would be dresses and skirts with petticoats mostly and not ladies jeans which I can wear now.

In a perfect world we would be FREE !!

[Erica Marie]

I think for alot of us if the public eye had no norm of what they expect guys to look like it may range from mixing and matching cloths to different levels of dressing. I feel it would be very easy for a guy to vary the level of how he wants to look. Anything from cloths to different levels of wearing make up. But in guy mode we are "suppose" to look a certain way.

As for myself I would easily be able to mix and match, for one thing girls cloths fit me better. I am one for casual so it typically would be jeans and t-shirt. Also I would luv to be able to blend a lighter style of make up, just enough to smooth things out. What the heck I have both ears pierced now in an attempt to pull a little bit of Erica into everyday life.

[Ashley_K]

First off, hi Molly! Welcome! I'm glad you decided to jump in to some deep discussion!

To Gillian's point about the need to allow men to show weakness, you're exactly right. Keeping something, including emotions, is unhealthy and just causes extreme pain. When fitting into society requires bottling something up, that's a powerful incentive. I think that generally, society is shifting to allow men to show more emotion, but it's a slowwww process.

As for alpha males running the world setting the rules, yeah, it's a problem. Many battles (on a grand scale down to spats between 2 people) are fought in some way to jockey for power. However, we DO need leaders, because leaders have the POWER to make change. We just want the leaders to make the decisions We individually want to see happen. When a leader makes a decision that we think is bad, power sucks. When a leader makes a decision we really like, power is awesome! All society is is a bunch of individuals making individual decisions that can be generalized. All that knowledge is is simply exposure to a topic. If you want knowledge to increase, you just have to expose people to the topic. As Gandhi said, "We must be the change we want to see in the world". Let's keep exposing people to how great it is for men to show emotion (and I guess wear a skirt, too)! Wow, I doubt Gandhi ever expected his quote to be used in a CD forum.

I would modify Molly's point about women having gender specific clothing and men don't. Men don't have gender specific clothing because men's clothing has become normalized, meaning that it's common because it's the accepted way--and who decides what's accepted? People with power. Males. Why is a piece of cloth tied around my neck when I'm wearing a suit acceptable? Ties have no purpose--it's not holding my head on. And why the heck am I expected to wear a suit in the American South when it's 105 degrees with 100% humidity (same with sub-Saharan Africa)? Because some British people with guns, germs, and steel came over to North America and said that wearing clothes meant for a cool climate was the norm. I would argue that women-specific clothing is defined by what isn't male. That's why we're all having such a hard time being CD.

I like Molly's point about mixing the two diluting the time. I like the different perspectives also, seeing and feeling "what isn't male." If we completely blend everything together, we'll end up with a boring homogeneity where we as individuals couldn't express our uniqueness and creativity. So while it would be awesome if men could wear dresses and heels (heels were common male clothing until fairly recent world history--you should read this article (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21151350)), it's a double-edged sword.

~Ashley~

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

I personally do not mix the clothing and prefer to keep my two halves separate. Isha holds the feminine side of my soul and male me holds the masculine. I dress complete because there is something sensual and exciting in the process. When I am dressed I am completely Isha in mannerism, voice (also a work in progress). Don't get me wrong, I hold no illusion I am a woman, I am just me in female clothing.

When I am in male mode I am all guy right down to the clothing. I may not get the same rush dressing in jeans and a t-shirt but there is something great about being a guy as well.

Do I like one over the other . . . hard to say. Some days I prefer Isha over male me and other days vice versa. The interesting thing is the more I explore this side of me the more they are both present regardless of how I am dressed.

Regarding societies acceptance . . . It is a sad fact that people fear what they don't understand. Society says dresses on boys . . . bad. So when someone who can't move past conventions sees a CD (regardless of how good they look), there is a bit of short circuit and they get frightened. Fear is a tricky thing, some people will walk to the other side of the road, others will giggle and point, while others may get angry and lash out. Will it get better for us . . . we can only hope.

Humans we are such a funny species.

Hugs

Isha

[Raychel]

Personally how I feel best is all the finer women's clothes,
But not really into the makeup and wig routine at all

So if I could just go thru life dressed the way I like, that would be great.......

[stefan37]

I am presently at different stage in my life at present. You can go out wearing what you would like but you have to own it. You need to conquer your fears. It takes some time to getover feeling self conscious. Start small. Clear nail polish, light eyeliner,clear mascara. Wear womens jeans, tee shirts, etc. Eventuallyit will become a non issue to those around you. As your self confidence builds you may find you wear what you like and it is no big deal.

The key is to feel comfortable and to own it. Fear is our enemy and prevents many from presenting as they would like.

[Nyla F]

Gillian, I would love to be able to mix it up. Just replacing my male shorts with a skirt would be awesome.

[Sharon B.]

Count me group also.

[ryenmatt]

I totally agree stefan37. You have to own it and exude confidence.

[Stephanie Voorhees]

I wish that's how the world would be. I like women's clothes better than men's clothes. I'm not trying to be a woman. Hell, I wouldn't convince a blind person that I am anything other than "a guy in a dress". Women can enjoy sexy skirts, heels, and pantyhose OR jeans and a t-shirt... Why can't men have the same luxury?

[JamieG]

I would love to live in such a society. Like you, I don't think I would dress en femme all the time. Heels really are impractical for everyday use, dresses are not ideal for bathroom break, wigs are too hot, and makeup just takes too long to get right. My usual daily wear would probably be a tunic or skirt with tights or leggings. Comfortable but cute ballet flats. No wig or makeup. I would then go all en femme maybe once or twice a week.

[Gillian Gigs]

I would love to live in such a society. Like you, I don't think I would dress en femme all the time. Heels really are impractical for everyday use, dresses are not ideal for bathroom break, wigs are too hot, and makeup just takes too long to get right. My usual daily wear would probably be a tunic or skirt with tights or leggings. Comfortable but cute ballet flats. No wig or makeup. I would then go all en femme maybe once or twice a week.

That about discribes it, it would be great to take the best parts and leave out whatever we individually considered to be a hassle. Is that not what many women do, they pick and choose what they consider to be the best of mens clothing. We are trapped by our cultural history and the question is who or what will cause a change.
As Gandhi said, "We must be the change we want to see in the world". This kind of change requires sacriface and too many of us are not willing to make the sacriface, me included. Yet maybe we start to change the course of history one degree at a time. It takes time and distance to turn a large ship around, so we do it one degree at a time. As the quote goes, " how do you eat an elephant....one bite at a time".

[Frédérique]

So here is the question, if we lived in a world where noone took notice, or cared how people dressed, how many of us would live our lives mixing and matching our boy and girl wardrobes?

I would do that. In fact I would revert to my original mode of M+F “presentation” and skip the overtly femme stuff. My wardrobe could be either/or, androgynous in the truest sense. At this point in time I’m drawing back from the brink of what some define as femininity. I just don’t need more than is required to make me happy. So, yes, if nobody noticed or cared I might dress as I please, perhaps re-inspiring me to crank things up to MAKE people take notice or care…
:battingeyelashes:

[Maria 60]

I would use that part of town if there was such a thing. I love to mix it up and it would be great to have that freedom, but until that happens ill have to keep male on the outside and female under. When it's all you have it's going to have to do.

[Angiemead12]

Im a halfie as well, wearing girls jeans most of the time

[Ashley_K]

Do I like one over the other . . . hard to say. Some days I prefer Isha over male me and other days vice versa. The interesting thing is the more I explore this side of me the more they are both present regardless of how I am dressed.

That's more like how I feel. Since I also have a fear of being outed, I would have to be fully en femme to go out (which one day I hope to do!). Fear is paralyzing, but because being a CD isn't my whole life, and many of my other life goals I see myself accomplishing in guy mode, I have chosen to keep them separate. But the lady side is always present, even if I'm not in a skirt. A gg coworker who doesn't know I'm a CD told me "wearing a skirt is so great--I'm sorry you have to wear pants all the time!" I just smiled because yes, I definitely know how great skirts are, and I would love to wear them more often!

~Ashley~

[suchacutie]

I guess I'm gender split on this issue. Tina is not going to wear male clothes. She might slide into some tight jeans but that's as close as she gets. My male side wears women's jeans as the fit is so much better but I enjoy suits and my tux and all the male trimmings.

My mix would be alternating my gendered selves while keeping the clothing gender separate.

[Jilmac]

I think if we all lived in that utopian world my choice would clearly be mix and match with my clothes. But I may even go a step further with a hint of makeup, or perhaps jewelry. After all, if nobody noticed or cared what I wore, I could be myself with no concern about passing.

[Laura28]

Count me in i would love to be able to go out fully dressed..

[Eryn]

I think that, once things reached an equilibrium, everybody would be wearing womens' casual clothes most of the time. They are the most comfortable and convenient for everyday wear.

Women's dressy clothes and shoes, while looking amazing, are not terribly comfortable. Shorts, jeans, and Capris along with T-shirts or simple cotton blouses are quite comfortable Look at what GGs typically wear and you have what I would wear most of the time.

Actually, when not at work, I dress this way. Capris and shorts all summer, jeans all winter, even in male mode. I save the dresses and skirts for when I'm out of my no-fly zone, but I can express myself a bit in male mode.

[GeorgeA]

Stephy,

A guy with short hair, stubble, hairy legs and arms wearing femme clothing will be assumed to be doing it as a joke and laughed at.

That's why I do not go out into RW.

[garfield9951]

I would say count me in on this too.

[Rachael Leigh]

Gillian I am there with you, I really love the girls styles in so many ways and I would most defiantly mix and match if I could get away with it. I mean I know that male styles are a little more colorful theses days but nothing beats a nice skirt or soft flowing dress. I wish it would be more acceptable to wear things and not just be called out on it as gay or feminine. Clothes today are so different than they were century's ago so maybe it will change.