So confused and ashamed

[brittany1]

I am just so confused and just rely tired of trying to figure out if I am a CD or a cross dresser or even if I am bi. Also I'm a virgin how can I be sure of who I am as a virgin ?

All I rely know is I rely want to find the love of my life preferably a CD or transexual.

[Alice Torn]

Brittany, I also am a virgin, at age 59!! My sister is a virgin at age 65!, and none of us married, either. I am shamed of my family, that none of us are married. I live with toxic religious and family shame, and have almost ended my life, still am tempted, and feel cursed. Never had a love in my life other than about one year, in 1986, but i was way too lowincome to support her and her two daughters, so broke off. I am considering quitting dressing up, and just keep some of my photos. ican surely empathize with you. Life is confusing and stressful enough, today, with out our thing.

[Beverley Sims]

Brittany,
Don't despair being a virgin is an asset.
You can quietly and slowly work out where you want to go.
It may be frustrating not having a mate now but when you interact with others socially you will find friendship.
It all takes time and is not likely to happen tomorrow.
Just be patient.

Alice,
You do not have to abandon what you do just temper it a little and keep within your means.

[Marcelle]

Hi Brittany,

Don't get too hung up on the virgin thing . . . you are young and obviously still trying to figure out your sexuality. Give it time, once you are ready, you will know it and that special someone will be there for you when you least expect it.

Hugs

Isha

[Jenniferathome]

A transsexual (MTF) is a woman. A cross dresser (MTF) is a man. If either is ok for you, you're bi.

Next....

[UNDERDRESSER]

Brittany, I am not much younger than you, and while I was not a virgin, I had very little experience, (almost zero) until recently.

Just over a year ago, I took up with this girl, after hanging out with her for a few weeks, I decided it was going to go somewhere, and was going to be serious. I decided that I couldn't do it without honesty, so I told her about my crossdressing. Total acceptance, didn't make any difference to her, now we live together, and my life is better than I could have ever imagined. Just keep on, you never know what's around the corner.

As for what or who you are, it doesn't matter. Just think about it, without guilt or shame, and figure it out. You may not be able to tell everyone, or even anyone, depending on your circumstances, but dump the guilt and shame. Whatever you are, you're not wrong. You're just you.

[Jodie_Lynn]

The confusion part I can understand, hell, I'm confused most of the time about a lot of things (especially me). But ashamed? For what do you feel ashamed of? That you are a virgin? Nonsense! You've bought into the social fallacy that Men should be sexual tyrannosaurus' and Women should be chaste and proper ladies.

Take your time, figure out who you are first before you decide on what gender your bedmate will be.

And, for clarification, read my sig.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Hah! I was near virgin, my GF? not so much.....

[sandra-leigh]

You are allowed to experiment to find out what genders you are attracted to. You are allowed to view porn or go to strip clubs or bathhouses to see what body types appeal to you. You are allowed to change your mind, or refine or expand your tastes in time. If you treat people respectfully, as humans with feelings rather than sex objects to be used, and you guard your health, then you need not be ashamed.

[kimdl93]

Why insist on categorizing anyone before you consider a relationship. My advice is to get out and meet people without expectations or timetables and see what happens.

[vallerie lacy]

when you find the right person and it clicks, who cares about labels. hell i'm 66 and have always been confused. life goes on. relax and enjoy it. go with the flow