Forgot to wash face off, got outed at Post Office, and Hardware store.

[Alice Torn]

Well, i finally dropped the ball. Spent a lot of time dressed the other night, and was too tired to clean up. Got up early for a change, and went straight to the post office. Saw one clerk whisper something to the other one. Left there, and went straight into the hardware store, to find a few things. Noticed the little lady who works ther, looking at me intensely, and, her husaband peer around the corner, and look right at me. Then, wiped my face, and black stuff, and red stuff! Oh no!!!!!!!!1 In this little town, this will spread like wild fire. "That tall loner odd guy, is a transvestite!" I should have known. Sooner or later, you will forget something, and will be outed. I am tired of all the religiouis pressure, and female rejestion, and considering dropping this part of my life. Just too mush pressure and stress, in an already paranoid , messed up man.

[Michelle789]

I live in LA, and fear being outed. Even with 10 million people, and a more progressive attitudes I still fear being outed. It doesn't help that I know way too many people. If you're interested in how I know over 1000 people, please send me a PM, I don't want to say online as that may get me outed lol. I have fear of going out while dressed, and shopping at mainstream stores in drab fearing I'll bump into somebody I know. To make matters worse I actually know my neighbors. Maybe it's time to move to the bay area, at least I don't know anyone up there.

[Nicole Erin]

Alice if you are outed, what is the point then of dropping this part of your life?
I mean getting outed, willingly or not, is one of the prices all TG pay sooner or later.
I mean you COULD come up with some wild story about it being halloween but why bother?

For living in L.A., Michelle ain't gonna see anyone she knows. I live in Indy which is less than ONE million and I never see anyone I know unless it is planned or if they recognize me as a regular customer like at the grocery or whatever.

[Beverley Sims]

Alice,
It is unfortunate that you have been outed this way, I have sometimes forgotten to remove foundation and have been asked what I have had on my face.
Michelle,
In your case when you are well known it is much harder to stay underground.
I also have a more than average visible profile.
The girls that play in bands on here really have to cover their tracks to stay underground.

[Michelle789]

Of course I won't see anyone I know. I never do see anyone I know when I'm out. It's just FEAR. Btw I'm not an actor and don't play in a band.

[Jodie_Lynn]

OK, not to be too critical here, but......

You got up early & went to the Post Office. Did you not go shower first? Just threw on clothes and out the door you went? Didn't you notice smeared make up on the pillow case? Presuming that you drove there, didn't you ever check your mirrors?

I'm sorry that you outed yourself but perhaps, subconsciously, that is what you intended. I personally believe that when we make a mistake of this scale, we are secretly conflicted and our subconscious acts upon that which we consciously choose.

In the event, I hope things work out well for you.

[sometimes_miss]

This is one reason I always avoided wearing make up. I tended to fall asleep while still dressed as a girl, and would wake up, change, and go about the rest of my day. Now, as I avoided mirrors most of the time when dressed, I tended to do it ALL the time by habit. Had I worn make up, it would have been very easy to accidently go out wearing make up.

[sandra-leigh]

Where I am (2/3 million) it is not odd to run into people I know or have seen around a lot, and yet I do not often see the people I used to work with. But maybe I just haven't been paying attention.

I was going to mention that I have met some of my neighbors while I have been out visibly dressed, but that doesn't really matter considering that they see me out working in the yard or taking the bus or shopping at the corner store...

[SophieKitty]

You could explain your actions as something you did to raise money for charity. Then explain you forgot to take the makeup off. A lot of guys in the UK have dressed as a woman for charity so it's not a far out excuse! I'm not sure what to do though

[bimini1]

I remember being on a trip to New Orleans and running into someone I knew just after I was coming out of a wig shop. WTF are the odds of that?!?
My wife and I were once walking on a beach in L.A. And she ran into a classmate from clear across the country. Just passed em on the friggin' waterfront.
So it does happen. I arrived for work at a radio station one morning years ago after a night of drinking and dressing with lipstick smeared all over my lips. The girl I was relieving was like WTF although she never said anything else about it.
Good luck, shame it has to be this way but it is what it is I guess.

[Rachel Morley]

You forgot to take off your make up before you went to bed and then you got up in the morning and didn't look in in the mirror before you went out? Wow... you and me are so very different. I can't imagine doing that. That said, I'm sorry this happened to you.

[Lady Mandy]

Sorry this happened to you as well. . . I've gone out in drab wearing lipstick I had forgotten to take off, gone out (again in drab) with mascara remnants, but not anything that's going to stop me from dressing or being myself. . .

Again, sorry!

[Tawne]

Hi Alice! Sorry this happened to you but the way you told the story was at least entertaining. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but it will get better, just hang in there :)

[Tracii G]

I wouldn't worry just act like its nothing and it won't be a problem.

[Joanne f]

Yes you have done it now , just as well to forget to take your dress off the next time you go out :D now if you had a skirt on that would not have been so bad as that would have been below counter level so they would not have seen it ,OK not until you would have walked out but then you would have not known their reaction :heehee:, many years ago I got caught out like that when I forgot to take off the mascara when visiting my sister-in-law , she soon spotted that and I came up with the dumb idea saying that I had swept the chimney and it must be soot :doh:Don't worry about it or you will be on edge every time you go out now wondering what people are going to say and if you are worried just say that you were practising for Halloween , they will believe that as everyone know that CDs do not tell lies :battingeyelashes:

[Kate Simmons]

The problem with many people is that they would much rather gossip about someone than try to get to know them as a person. Unless they have the guts to ask you about it personally, I would ignore them.:)

[Bifrost]

I feel for you so much. I say go with something like what SophieKitty said - that it was some sort of costume party you had to go to out of town & ended up home too late to shower.

Hopefully it all comes to nothing. :)

[Marcelle]

Hi Alice,

Sorry to hear about your dilemma sweetie. I agree with most, don't let it bother you. If someone should ask you what that was all about, I would default with the "costume party" idea unless you feel comfortable coming out to them. In the end, I find people are like my Husky . . . they get fixated on one thing for awhile then "squirrel" they are off on another tangent. This should blow over once they get tired of talking about it.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

So a few people whispered. Tomorrow they'll find a different topic. Just go about your life...and remember to wash your face in the morning!

[Cheryl T]

Just tell those who mention it that it was a prank while you were sleeping by an old friend, like when you see the videos of people with an eyebrow shaved off, or that black stuff they put on the eyepiece of binoculars to make them look like a raccoon.

Most won't remember in 3 days and will find something else to whisper about. You will be old news in no time.

[ryenmatt]

Well now that everyone knows what you are you should be able to do more of it and people shouldn't bat an eyelash at ya cause they know that is what you are.

[Sarah Beth]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine how you could get that far without seeing yourself in a mirror somewhere first but then I have stumbled out the door still asleep a lot of times getting myself off to work to be on time.

I see a lot of people suggesting just go on about your business, it won't matter. but it can. You said you live in a little town, well so do I a population of less than 1000 where things that happened years ago still get talked about. Just yesterday someone was pointing to a woman who lives hear who some years ago got caught in bed with another woman by her husband and they were snickering about it. I've had a couple of things happen with me while living here that still affect me adversely. I wish it wasn't so and it wasn't when I lived in larger places. Still if its out there you can either make some excuse and pass it off, or stay out with it. It's going to depend a lot on the attitudes of the people where you live, because people do remember. I don't see why you can't keep on dressing in private just be more careful in the future.

[Launa]

The sooner you forget this happened then the sooner it will all go away for you. Next time keep the dress on and then they really can have something to talk about. Stay friendly and warm to everyone you meet and the world will treat you the same way.

[Danielle_cder]

Take a deep breath, relax ;) you will be fine :D the people that saw you will have already started to forget seeing the guy with make up on. Most people are so wrapped up in their own lives that the 2 minutes that they saw/spent looking at you will have started to fade away. keep your head up give yourself a break and dont worry about them* its not worth your time thinking about what some one else is thinking.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm not so much of a subscriber to the theory about "wanting to be outed" but seriously, that is what I can't help but think right now.

Look at all of the mirror opportunities in the morning before you step out of your house. Brush your teeth? Your hair? How about the rear-view mirror in your car?

Yes, I'm sorry that this happened to you. It's hard to think of anyone else in these pages less prepared for such a thing (based upon your previous writings). But now you have to move forward given this turn of events. Setting aside this part of you will solve nothing. Best to own who you are and/or what you do and be prepared to face the music should it be thrown in your face at some point. You never know, you may discover something about yourself within this exercise of ownership, that you have more strength to stand up to others (or perhaps better said, to stand up for yourself) than you ever thought possible. Best of wishes as you tackle this challenge.

[vallerie lacy]

Alice --if you are ever confronted, you can always say "I won the bet". and we all know even if you "drop out" now, like so many of us, you will be back and unhappy that you may have purged. I know myself that i'm always checking my mirror to be sure I got everything removed.

[Alice Torn]

Its no big deal now. We all get forgetful as we get older. My short term memory is almost shot! I have mirrors all over the place. I was so exhausted, that i did not notice. I told one casahier that i lost a bet, that i bet the Chicago Bears lose their first gasme, and i laughed. i really don't care that much. Male actors, in the early days of movies, wore mascara. I am already coansidered an oddball loner old bachelor in this town, so i gave them more to talk about, but, most people are so in to their own marriages, kids, and work, and worry, that it is not that big a thing. The four or five people who noticed, might, but no one else. If it spreads areound town, oh well. I am not worried anymore, unless it gets to my brother, dad, or sister, or a few people who really know me well. No biggy. Just thought i would share about how easy it is to forget things today, in our super fast paced time, and i suffer memory loss, anyway short term, that is. I have emotional , mental disease, too. Dreamed last night, i was in Wash DC really super sexy dressed, and my brothers spotted me! It was all over the news!!! Glad that was not true!

[MissJoanne]

Couple of months ago, fellow came into my office and while we were talking, he said "You've got a black mark under your eye....is that mascara?". I'd been out and about the day before and evidently missed a bit. My response: "Do I ask YOU what you do on your days off?". He laughed and said "No, you don't". He's a good guy and I'm sure he didn't actually think that's what it was. If only he knew....

At the end of the day, we just have to be extra careful.

[Barbra P]

I can’t say I know what your predicament is like. I’m roughly ten years older than you, retired, and while I live in a small town of just over 25K, Lemon Grove is part of a metropolitan area that comprises well over a million and a half. The number of people I might care if they find out about Babs totals about zero. I keep Babs low-key because of my Wife, she would prefer that Babs remains in the closet – actually she would prefer that Babs vanishes completely but she understands that probably isn’t going to happen. Many of my neighbors on my street know about Babs and as Babs I chat with a few of the GG’s every chance I get. I’m too old to really care who knows about Barbra and it is only my concern for my Wife’s feelings that keeps Barbra mostly under wraps.

In your case time will tell, but I suspect that you will discover that even in your small town this is not going to be a big thing. Some may snicker, some may think you are just an eccentric older man, a few might be curious enough to ask questions – I’d suggest that you answer them honestly. Why answer questions honestly? If people are curious enough to ask they have already heard the rumors and denial and phony excuses aren’t going to carry the day. Ignorance is one of our biggest enemies and education one of our greatest allies. Answer their questions honestly and you educate them and I think you will garner some support in the process.

I know the few times I slept with makeup on I awoke to a ghastly sight. I didn’t look anything at all like the women in the movies or on TV that wake up looking all fresh and made up – more like some clown in a horror movie. My lipstick was smeared all around my mouth although I think most of it was on my pillowcase, my eye makeup had also migrated quite a distance from my eyes and my false lashes were misshapen and looked grotesque, and if that wasn’t enough I also needed a shave. I had hoped to be able to quickly throw on something casual and do a few chores in the morning but instead I had to spend an in-ordinate amount of time cleaning myself up.

Had I ventured out I suspect people would have mistaken me for some psychotic killer from Friday the 13th, or some such movie, and run screaming.

[petrahughes]

My 2c

Carry on dressing, buy a mirror and screw it to the inside of your front door. :@)

[vallerie lacy]

I think from now on I will hook a bra on the front door knob as a reminder when I am made up. Perhaps I had better hook another to the back door. Come to think of it I better not forget the garage door too. Than again what do you think I should d about the cars?

[Chickhe]

...darn grandkids and their makeup pranks! Shouldn't have drank so much whisky last night!

[Susanna66]

Alice, As I am also from the Midwest, I understand how attitudes in this part of the country are not as open as many others. But hang in there. Society is evolving. Slowly, but it is. I frequently wear light makeup and lipstick out. Never a odd look or word. I would say ignore them and keep being the person you are. I don't believe you can drop who you are. Hope things go well.

[Dannigurlfriend]

I wouldn't worry just act like its nothing and it won't be a problem.

That's what I would do, I have been caught with the remnants of eyeliner on even after I showered, when questioned I replied I didn't know what they were talking about, additionally I was once caught with my toenails painted a bright red by co-workers to which I replied my niece had painted them over the weekend then it became cute. Like was said before I wouldn't worry about it most people might suspect but will rarely come right out and ask.

[Barbara Maria]

Just this morning I answered the door to recieve a package I've been expecting.I was so excited that I threw on a robe and answered the door.Didn't realize until I was signing for it that my nails were polished bright pink!He had to notice but didn't show any sign of it. If he'd have come 15 minutes later he'd have caught me in full Barbara mode.

[Marleena]

Alice don't worry too much about it, they'll just guess at what you've been up to. It'll be forgotten soon.:)

[linda allen]

I wouldn't worry just act like its nothing and it won't be a problem.

That would be my advice. I doubt anyone will ask you about it and if you run around town telling everyone your "excuse", you will just make them more suspicious.