Is Crossdressing "Normal" ?

[nylon45]

Hello Everyone - My question for today is simply , is crossdressing normal behaviour

The reason I ask , is because , for the very very very first time in ages , I met a lovely woman and initially , she kinda' accepted my love of dressing up even though it was something she wanted me to do in private and not particularly , in front of her

That said , just of late , whilst she hasnt exactly resorted to words such as "strange" or "weirdo" or "pervy" , thank goodness - she has , started to question whether I am , in her words "normal" for enjoying wearing womens clothes

Do you think she is being unreasonable and ultimately , do you think I should move on and call it a day as I am never going to stop dressing up as I love it far to much and it makes me feel happy

Cheers

[suzy1]

No, I don’t think she is being unreasonable to her! To me and you it is normal.
So what is normal? What is perceived as normal to one person is abnormal to another.
Either you can talk her round to seeing it as just an unusual but still a healthy lifestyle or you have a problem.
And getting most people to see C.D.ing as normal is in my experience impossible.

[TheMissus]

'Normal' is really just a commonly occurring, accepted behavior and while I personally think CD is far more common than is currently reported, as far as your question, no, it's not normal. Doesn't mean it's bad or wrong - just uncommon.

Though, I suspect your SO might feel a little squicky about the whole thing whether its normal or not. Unfortunately for you, this IS a common response and you'll have to decide if you can work through that together.

[SophieKitty]

I could just as easily ask if having sugar in your tea is normal. If there's one thing i've learned that there's no such thing as normal!

[Amanda M]

It is normal for you. I don´t think you should read to much into her question, and should, perhaps try to answer it openly and honestly. If you start being untruthful or dishonest now it WILL come back to bite you.

Why move on until you have thoroughly explored this. You might just get a wonderful surprise!

[Kate Simmons]

That would mostly depend on your feelings for her. Is it "normal"? That really depends on who's standards you are going by."Normal" can be defined by what we are naturally inclined to do. While not "normal" for the general population, it is "normal" for many of us. :)

[Tawne]

nylon, I think you have already answered your own question :) You made it very clear that dressing up makes you happy, if she no longer makes you happy due to negative nonsupporting behavior, simply remove her from the picture and back to the game :)

[Tami Joy]

Nylon If it makes you happy that's all that matter.

[Bifrost]

Normal is whatever the people you know and know about do.

Normal is COMPLETELY subjective. In Fiji the Police wear skirts. Very seriously - it's perfectly normal for a guy to wear a skirt in Fiji. In the 1500s, well-dressed men wore stockings. Before the 1940s it was just about unheard of the women to wear pants.

All of this said, I absolutely LOVE things that are a bit off-kilter. Anything "normal" to me is just a bit boring. ;)

[Tawne]

Totally agree with Bifrost, normal is boring, which is one of the reasons that makes dressing so fun & daring and dam-well exciting.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nylon, One persons poison is another pleasure .

[Erica Marie]

There is no normal. Only what is normal for you. It takes time to find that exact person who is the same normal as you. They say there is someone for everyone so if it is making you feel uncomfortable it may be time to sit down with her and get her true feeling, it may be the beginning of the end, but in turn it will be time to start a new beginning with someone truly accepting.

[Marcelle]

Hi Nylon,

Unfortunately, people tend to look at "normalcy" through the rose coloured lenses of societal conventions. So . . . women wear dresses and men wear suits. By today's standards women can wear typical male clothing (jeans, shirts, suits etc.) but they are still feminine in style. Unfortunately, that same latitude has not been extend to men. So if a man choses to wear women's clothing, don make-up and stroll about, of course people are going to see this as not normal.

But for us, it is normal behavior because it is who we are and we can no easier change who we are then stop the world from spinning. For me I am normal whether I am in male mode or en femme. These are just two different expressions of my being.

Have you talked to your girlfriend to explain why for you this is normal? If not, that might be a good start. She may not understand "normalcy in its true sense" and may only be looking at this from the perspective of society (men wear boxers / women wear panties).

Hugs

Isha

[Kalista Jameson]

Hi,

I think by definition "normal" means the norm of something generally accepted. Normal has nothing to do with right or wrong or mentally stable or instable, it just means the norm. So no, I don't think crossdressing is "normal" in the sense of how society views us. But all that means to me is that simple truth helps me make sounder and safer decisions about what I do with my own crossdressing.

As crossdressers, we cover the spectrum, just like anyone else in society, as to whether or not we are in our right minds or not and that sort of thing. There are some incredibly smart, wise, and mentally stable guys in dresses and heels out there. Lord knows all we have to do is turn on the news to hear about all the psychos roaming around who would never even consider putting on a dress.

So, crossdressing, while not considered the norm as far as men's dressing fashions go, is unrelated to our state of minds and how we live our lives in other ways, which should be the criteria. Take Ted Bundy, serial murderer, for example. He appeared to be "normal" by society's obervations and used his charisma and good looks to lead many women to their demise. Yet if a guy like Ted were walking down one side of the street, and a CD on the other, it's funny how many would choose to walk next to a serial killer without knowing it all the while the dude in a skirt may be an award winning husband and dad at home.

It's all a matter of putting things in perspective and gaining confidence about yourself. Maybe share this example with your girlfriend and see if you can help her adjust her thoughts on what normal is. Now if you really are a strange weirdo on top of crossdressing, then you've got an uphill battle. =) Joking with ya.

Cheers,

Kalista

[Jodie_Lynn]

"Normal" and "Normality" are cultural and societal parameters that are , generally, agreed to by the members of a given society. These parameters can, and do, change due to changing conditions, influx of new members of the society, and the passage of time. "Normal" is a fluid statistic that can be re-defined from person to person and group to group.

Once upon a time, women who argued for equal rights, and the basic right to vote, were viewed as 'abnormal' by the majority of people. that changed.

Once upon a time, to own and possess a fellow human was considered not only "normal" but as "natural'. That also has changed (thank whatever deity you worship)

Once upon a time, an interracial couple was not only considered 'abnormal', but also 'unnatural', and, in some places, 'illegal'. Also thank your deity that that has changed (mostly)

[stephNE]

I guess "normal" refers to the majority of people, so maybe we are not "normal". But that isn't bad, I'm happy not being like the majority!

[Cheryl T]

Normal like Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
For us this is certainly normal. For many segments of society it is not. Then again, to me war is not Normal although it is certainly the way humanity resolves its issues and it has been that way since we first walked on two legs and will probably be that way for many years to come.

I feel very normal. I hold a good job, I am married to a wonderful woman, I have good friends and loving family. Simply because there is a big part of me that feels feminine and requires expression in that form does not make me Abnormal. I'm not a serial killer, suicide bomber (single use job), mass murderer or the like.

Some of us were having a discussion about Gays at work the other day. They asked my opinion. I said if you love someone and don't hate or kill then you're fine with me. I just wish others felt that way too.

Yes, you are Normal!

[DebbieL]

I remember reading a study once, Masters & Johnson I think, that suggested that 75% of all men have cross-dressed at some point in their lives, and enjoyed it. They also indicated that about 25% of all of the men interviewed cross-dressed regularly for extended periods of their lives.

The reason we THINK it is so small is because any boys who express transgender behavior in elementary school or middle school are usually violently and physically attacked, by their class-mates, and by other boys. Many are also attacked by parents as well. Fathers have been known to beat their sons with a belt for cross-dressing.

The violence, especially public displays of violence, tells all boys that they must never let ANYONE know that they actually LIKE dressing up like a girl and should NEVER let ANYONE know they might actually want to BE a girl. This is why so many drag queens claim that they don't really LIKE to be dressed up as women, it's just a job, or it's just for laughs. Ignore the fact that they dress when they are NOT performing.

A boy who starts cross-dressing and likes it, whether at a very young age like so many hard-core transsexuals, or as a Halloween costume or college hazing ritual, will usually feel that he HAS TO KEEP HIS DESIRE TO CROSS-DRESS A SECRET. To a young boy, still trying to be accepted, still trying to get that first date, first kiss, first sexual experience with a partner, or marriage partner, the consequences of telling ANYONE are unthinkable. Many have seen others "outed" and seen them lose all of their friends, get thrown out of their homes, be rejected by ALL girls, and they have even known some who committed suicide.

Much of this may have been a desire on the part of schools, athletic programs, and colleges to prepare boys and young men for military service when they came of age and were drafted. From WWII to the end of Vietnam, the US Military tried hard to find ways to shorten training time. One of the BEST ways was to make sure that the boys were physically fit and prepared mentally for combat and military discipline. Boys fashions were patterned after military uniforms. Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, and other boys programs often offered the "perk" of a special Uniform which could be worn to school on certain days.

One of the things the military wanted to prevent, was boys who didn't want to fight, who were to effeminate, who wanted out on a 4F based on being homosexual, a cross-dresser, or too "sensitive". If the military couldn't have them, they could be used as targets - teaching the boys who WERE fit to fight to treat these "rejects" as something not human, the kind of thinking they would have to have when going into a war where they would often have to shoot women, children, and young men who looked more like children than men. The conditioning started early, in the 1960s, as part of president Kennedy's Council on Physical Fitness, the conditioning started as early as second grade, with boys doing military calisthenics for 30 minutes, often to such songs as "Go you chicken fat Go". Boys were taught to play in team sports, and the losing team was allowed to punish anyone on the team they felt was "unfit" or just didn't try hard enough. In one school, the LaCrosse coach would tell his team "If you don't get BLOOD from the other team during the game, your team will get BLOOD out of YOU during the next practice. I will see to it that it happens.". And this was considered NORMAL.

Boys were encouraged to fight, and those who couldn't or didn't fight back were offered no refuge by the faculty.

The result is that those 25-75% of the boys/men who really enjoyed cross-dressing were "programmed" to keep it a secret at all costs. They couldn't even tell their own wives. Many men keep these secrets into their 30s or even their 50s. They fear losing their job, wives, children, and homes. They fear losing the status and respect they've built up in their communities, churches, and social groups.

We know that the suicide rate among transgender boys is extremely high, as high as 50-60%. I suspect it's even higher among middle-class males, possibly as high as 75%. Now that police are investigating suicides for signs of bullying or cyber-bullying, they are discovering that AT LEAST HALF of all teen suicides involve gay or transgender boys, many of whom kill themselves after either being "outed" or rejected by a potential or actual love interest.

I suspect that if we had coroners do the "finger test" and scan the brains of suicidals, they would find that an even higher number had markers for "feminine" traits.

When we look out there in the general population, even those who ARE transsexual are invisible. A transsexual who has transitioned is nearly impossible to identify or distinguish from a normal woman. The few that we see in public and recognize as such are usually cross-dressers who haven't learned to "Blend" or don't want to.

[Launa]

Its definitely not normal to mainstream society, I'm far from normal.

Normal to most North Americans would be a life lived like Mike and Carol Brady.

[kimdl93]

It's totally normal and widespread. Society takes a while to catch up with itself!

[Beverley Sims]

I think read Debbie Lawrence's reply.
It is most comprehensive.
I agree we have all been programmed to think that it is an activity that is abnormal.
It is different yes but no different to being gay or lesbian.
They enjoy greater acceptance.

[jillleanne]

I got kicked out of Psychology class in university the first week of class for arguing with the prof about 'norms'. The following week I returned and recall spewing out a lot of ' un huh's ' to keep the peace. I passed.

[MissJoanne]

As others have alluded to, what is "Normal"? For me, it's whatever makes me happy. The therapist I spoke with takes the view that what we do is akin to a hobby. Some may not share that view: fair enough. I don't have a problem viewing it that way. It calms and relaxes me, therefore it's good.

[Alice Torn]

Kallista, Good analogy! I knew tow women who actually worked with Ted Bundy, in Seattle.. So true. A normally dressed serial killer, walking anywhere, will be accepted as normal, but a law abiding, kind man dressed up as a woman will be automatically branded as abnormal, weird, odd, pervert, potential child molester, yadayada yada. Lots of interesting posts here. Debbie, So true, the sports, teach boys to have a killer instinct, to "beat" the other guy, or team. I am sick unto death of all the cruel, hostile, pride, and competition in school, and pro sports, wher winning is everything, even if you hurt another human being. It s a smaller form of war, only not actually killing.And, that, is "normal", to be hostile, and cruel. Human nature will have to change, or no one will survive the shit about to hit the fan. Humanity has not learned a damn thing, it seems. Maybe we need a flying saucer with a strong alien to warn us, if we don't change, earth will be blown up!, As in "The Day The Earth Stood Still", the classic 1950's movie!

[ryenmatt]

YES. Normality is relative.

[sheilagirl]

I often wonder if we will sometime see the day when it won't be "Unusual" to see men out, dressed as women. Think of the marketing possibilities.

[Jenniferathome]

No, cross dressing is not normal. That's easy. Is homosexuality normal? No. "Normal" means average or typical. But on a spectrum of super-fantastically weird to normal, cross dressing is not far from normal. I can think of a hundred things more weird than cross dressing. In the case of your SO, she may be more concerned with what MORE you want out of cross dressing. She may fear you want to transition, be with a man, all kinds of things. You have to talk about this.

[vallerie lacy]

Nylon --of course it's normal. tell her to look at what women wear. tell her to look at her own clothes and tell you that she and 99 percent of her sisters aren't crossdressers. what isn't normal is how we he-men who have been given the task of fighting wars and protecting the "weaker sex" are not afforded the opportunity to dress in whatever attire we choose. try telling a woman she can't wear particular clothing and get ready for a lawsuit

[Joanne f]

Is it Normal, most definitely Yes for the person that does it and until someone can come up with a sensible answer as to why it would not be normal in doing something that does no one any physical harm then I am sticking with that .

[CarlaWestin]

Is crossdressing normal?

No, at least the men wearing frilly bras and panties kind. GG's wearing pants, t-shirts and ball caps sorta falls into the normal realm. Personally, I've always been a little bored with 'normal'. If you are searching around for positive input to sway your new prospect's assessment of your proclivity, well, good luck. How 'bout she tells you that she's compelled to wear a beard and mustache in public and plans to get it tattooed to her face. Perfectly normal? Come on, you'll learn to deal with it.

[Alice Torn]

Friends, I was a very odd boy, and later on, wanted so much to become normal. I wanted a girlfriend, get married, have kids, and all the normal things. But, with tears, i have never achieved normalness. I never had a steady girlfriend, my first girlfriend killed herself with drugs. Never got to marry, nor have kids. Crossdressed first, about age 14, then quit, trying to become more normal. In my 30's , i was blessed to date some, mostly much older women, but was never ready , or too poor, or too messed up with parent's and siblings issues. I still feel like i am from another galaxy, but really am not all that different from the "normies". It is just socially, i have been a stunted loser, and like women's clothes. I am not that abnormal in that i like animals, sports, history, music, bicycling, hiking, fishing, swimming, and lots of other things most people like. Humans have a lot in common mostly, but pereferal differences. I am glad all are not just exactly like me. However, my whole family was afflicted with emotionally immatuirty, and some brain defects, making us all strange, even with out cding. We are all complex, as all creation is complex, yet simple in some ways!

[Ressie]

Yes it's completely normal. I do it all the time and I am normal. :D

[Shirley Anne]

I once read that anything you do continually for three weeks becomes habit and so its normal to all of us here

[petrahughes]

"Behind every great man, is a great Woman"

Normalish, or, Maybe we all just take the above saying too literally ?

[Brenda456]

No offense, but I am the only "normal" person I know. And I love to CD. So there.

[ReineD]

Is it normal? Yes, if you consider there will always be a small percentage of people who fall at either extremity of the bell curve. This alone is "normal". We are not all made the same. The mathematical calculation of the mean, which is the number in the middle, includes all people, across ALL characteristics and behaviors.

Looking at the bell curve, the Cding would fall in either section (depending on which way you look at it), as 'definitely more' or 'definitely less' than others. But, it is still on the bell curve.

So to be off the bell curve entirely (not part of the calculation of the mean), you would have to not be human. :p


210625

[DebbieL]

Its definitely not normal to mainstream society, I'm far from normal.

The MYTH is that ANYONE lives a "Normal" life. Every family has it's secrets, whether it's the boy who hides his mom's pantyhose between the mattresses where he thinks she can't find them, or incest, or domestic violence, or one or both spouses being incredibly sexually frustrated, or a spouse who loathes sex but is afraid to tell their partner. There women who have been raped before the marriage, and men who dallied with boys before the marriage.


Normal to most North Americans would be a life lived like Mike and Carol Brady.

Television gave us a VERY DISTORTED picture of "Normal" families. Even the TV families had some horrible secrets.

Ozzie and Harriet were the "model family" in the 50's an dearly 60's, but Ozzie had a violent temper.

Dick Van Dyke as Rob Petrie, with Laura and little Robby - the network went to great lengths to hide the fact that Dick was a raging alcoholic.

Lucy & Ricky Ricardo had a wonderful marriage on "I love Lucy", where Lucy was always trying to get into Ricky's night club act.
The reality was that the Network originally wanted only Lucy in the show, and didn't think the network audience would tolerate a Cuban husband, it was DESI who struggled to get bits from his nightclub act into the TV show. Lucy and Desi also had a very volitile relationship, both of them had strong wills and fierce tempers. But they made beautiful comedy together.

June Cleaver and Donna Reed were also fantasy moms that never existed. Both were seasoned professional actresses doing a job, but thought the kids in the show were little brats most of the time. Both often laughed at the very prospect that a stay-at-home mother would be making breakfast for her husband and children wearing 3 inch heels, a Bob Mackie Designer Dress, and a strand of real pearls along with pearl earrings.

Then we had All in the family, where Archie was a racist, ignorant, opinionated, and bigoted against nearly everything and everybody. Sadly he became a ROLE MODEL for many who are now in the "Fox News" audience. The reality was that Carol O'Conner who played the role was actually very much the opposite and was hoping that by bafooning Archie to the point that he offended everybody (everybody was laughing AT him for being so ignorant and biased), that NOBODY would want to be like Archie Bunker, and that being called Archie Bunker would be such an insult that people would stop immediately with the racist, sexist, or homophobic remarks. Sadly Rush Limbaugh, who was the REAL Archie Bunker, got a radio show where people actually took him seriously.

Later we had "Married with Children", the ultimate dysfunctional family. Peg was a tarty sex-crazed woman who was always wanting sex (something men of that period would have LOVED to have had, since many women of that generation had been sexually traumatized prior to marriage and hated sex in marriage), and Al Bundy was incredibly stupid, gullible, and nice, but seemed to have NO desire for sex (exact opposite of how most married men of that generation viewed themselves). The kids appeared to be complete brats on screen, with Kelly (Christina Applegate) looking like a very dumb blonde ****. In reality, Christina was very smart, very professional, and knew how to play her role to get the maximum effect, and worked very hard to make every performance work for the entire cast.

Mary Tyler Moore seemed like she was weak and helpless on most of her TV sitcoms, but in reality she was a brilliant businesswoman, ruthless negotiator, and created one of the largest television empires, producing dozens of shows in it's peak.

Even before that, we had the "Golden Age of Radio", when families would tune into various weekly shows.

Especially in the early days of Television, the casts were kept terribly small. Very often, there would only be the husband, the wife, and the children, with some neighbors or friends thrown in to keep it interesting (especially since the husband was working most of the time).

And where was cross-dressing?

We had "Uncle Miltie" - whose drag woman was frightening to young children. He was on every week, and looked hideous. I remember one time seeing a skit with Milton Berle and Jackie Gleason and thinking "Why do they have to look so ugly, I bet I could look like a REAL woman if I tried". I tried the next day and was quite astonished at how much like a real girl I looked. It wasn't the first time I'd ever been fully dressed, or WANTED to be fully dressed, but this was the first time I really tried to "pass".

Later at night, there were female impersonators, doing acts where they would transform themselves from one star to another, often in a matter of 2-3 seconds. They looked very pretty, but they always tried to tell their hosts during the interview phase that they were NOT gay and NOT transsexual. In public at least, they tried to portray themselves as straight heterosexual men who enjoyed being heterosexual men and just made a lot of people happy by performing while looking like famous music and movie stars.

[Rachel Morley]

'Normal' is really just commonly occurring, accepted behavior
That's right. Normal is what the majority are doing so in that respect cross dressing is not "normal" but that doesn't make it wrong .... just different.

[DebbieL]

Is it normal? Yes, if you consider there will always be a small percentage of people who fall at either extremity of the bell curve.
This alone is "normal". We are not all made the same. The mathematical calculation of the mean, which is the number in the middle, includes all people,
across ALL characteristics and behaviors.

The problem is that we assume that we can assess "normal" simply by observing the general population. The Kinsey study made it very clear that when it comes to behaviors usually kept secret, such as sexual preferences, the reality is RADICALLY different from what could assume from "street" behavior.

In that bell curve, you might have to look at something more on the Harry Benjamin scale. In the curve, most men would be "Dress in a few items occasionally" (and don't tell anyone), or in the "Dress as a girl but never go out in public". The "Probably less than others" section would be the folks go out in public, but do so discretely and have no desire to change gender. In the "Definitely less than others" would be the hard core transsexuals who are likely to die if they don't transition (suicide, self-destruction, high risk behaviors, or "suicide on the installment plan" such as overeating, oversmoking, drinking excessively, or drug addiction.

The problem is that you could have 75% of the population who were transgender to some degree or another, between "Like to wear one item" and "I want to be a girl for the rest of my life". The other small group would be the "wear an item of women's clothing, gross, I don't even like seeing WOMEN in that stuff!".




Looking at the bell curve, the Cding would fall in either section (depending on which way you look at it), as 'definitely more' or 'definitely less' than others. But, it is still on the bell curve.

So to be off the bell curve entirely (not part of the calculation of the mean), you would have to not be human. :p


210625[/QUOTE]

[mikiSJ]

Statistically normal - crossdressing - no!, her response - yes!

[Jenniferathome]

..Looking at the bell curve, the Cding would fall in either section (depending on which way you look at it), as 'definitely more' or 'definitely less' than others. But, it is still on the bell curve.

I guess my "super fantastically weird" to normal is not scientific enough for you;-) We're on the same page though.

[molly m]

nylon, i understand the question and it has provoked a lot of great answers, but if someone were to tell me that dressing up is not "normal," my only response would be "so?" i inherently acknowledge it's outside of most people's concept of "normal" behavior" just by virtue of the fact that i keep it as private as i do. but, "normal" should have no positive or negative connotations in this context. i absolutely love to do it and it certainly isn't hurting others or myself in any way, shape or form, so why in the world would i feel compelled to stop it? because it's not "normal????" umm....i don't think so!

it seems to me the only relevant question in your situation is whether she can accept it or not. and i would certainly respect and totally understand her decision if she couldn't. she feels what she feels. and, if she can't accept it, it sounds like you've already answered the next question: would i stop dressing up to keep her? life is nothing but an endless stream of choices, from the most simple, trivial ones like should i hit that snooze button on the alarm clock, to the most difficult ones like should should i end a marriage, but they all require weighing the costs and benefits of each possible choice. seems like that ball is in her court right now. but, i agree with others that it merits meaningful and candid discussion with her in advance of her making the choice. who knows, you may say something that causes her to feel differently about it. if not, you can feel good about doing all you could before moving on.

good luck to you either way!

[Frédérique]

Do you think she is being unreasonable and ultimately , do you think I should move on and call it a day as I am never going to stop dressing up as I love it far to much and it makes me feel happy.

Move on, call it a day, and keep doing the thing that makes you happy. You're too GOOD for her...:battingeyelashes:

[Pinky188]

You have to do what makes you happy. Don't change for anyone. It won't ever work out if you have to be someone you are not!

[Julie Gaum]

The responses that suggested you don't give up yet until you've made a deliberate effort to educate and communicate is, IMO, the way to go. That doesn't mean just having ONE talk, instead, since you already have spent years towards educating yourself emotionally and mentally, that you offer her your knowlege only enough at a time so she is able to grasp it.
"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well".
Julie

[donnalee]

Well, it's normal for me. Normal for others may vary. It is not a societal norm as of yet, however, although it is not a crime now, as it has in the past. The truth is that that, as of 50 years ago, mostly due to legal efforts by the gay and lesbian community those laws, at least, have been overturned in the courts. Since cross dressers are easy targets for those who revile them due to their shyness and real fear of discovery by even the people who know them best, we are the last to be counted in a society that still needs scapegoats. It is my belief and my hope that as the younger generations take more control this will result in changing what societal standards are presently in place, but it is doubtful that I will be alive to see it. Of course this will result in new societal scapegoats (fair game for societal derision and contempt, with more and more laws passed to oppress them), smokers, firearms owners and those who tolerate them and others that as of now, I cannot foresee. The first has been in place for some years, the second is coming rapidly. As a member of a group that had half of it's world population's murders come to light a year or two before my birth, I am well aware of how a benign appearing government can turn a nation into a charnel house by blaming difficulties on scapegoats.

[linda allen]

.......... That said , just of late , whilst she hasnt exactly resorted to words such as "strange" or "weirdo" or "pervy" , thank goodness - she has , started to question whether I am , in her words "normal" for enjoying wearing womens clothes

Do you think she is being unreasonable and ultimately , do you think I should move on and call it a day as I am never going to stop dressing up as I love it far to much and it makes me feel happy

I think she is saying that she doesn't want to deal with the hassle of your crossdressing. In her mind, it's not normal. It doesn't matter what a bunch of crossdressers on the Internet think. I don't think you need to worry about moving on, I think she will move on herself soon enough, at least from what you have posted here.

[Tina_gm]

One of the reasons for this forum is that it is not a "normal" human behavior. That does not make it right or wrong, good or bad, just that it is not normal by the definition of normal. We who cd are in a small minority. Of course, there is another way of looking at it.... that any behavior ever exhibited by a human then becomes normal human behavior, but merely uncommon behavior. Uncommon sounds a little better. I do not know if there is really much of a difference.

[Dianne S]

Ask yourself this: Why is anyone worried if something is "normal" or not? Who cares? The pertinent questions are: Does it hurt anyone? Is it fun? And for me, the answers are "no" and "yes", respectively.

[Jilmac]

I always define "normal" as the opposite of "unusual". However, to me unusual pertains to those who choose not to partake of the pleasure I enjoy, which is wearing feminine attire. On the other hand, they also consider thenselves to be normal, as a "normal" person could hardly imagine wearing the clothes of the opposite gender. Therefore, in a sense, we are all normal because we are being ourselves and that works well for me.

Perhaps if your GF reads all the replys to this thread, she may get a better understanding of "normal".

[Laura28]

It is normal to me and my SO so what else matters.

[Georgina]

If it isn't normal it should be.

[sometimes_miss]

'Normal' is really just a commonly occurring, accepted behavior and while I personally think CD is far more common than is currently reported, as far as your question, no, it's not normal. Doesn't mean it's bad or wrong - just uncommon.
^ this probably says it best. Because even though there are many millions of us who do it, most don't do it where anyone can see, so it's still considered very unusual.

[Sabrina69]

Yes, GG's do it every day, we can too... :)

[ArleneRaquel]

It is normal for me and that is all that matters.

[Jaymees22]

I'll answer this question with a question. Why be normal? Jaymee

[UNDERDRESSER]

See my sig. (sig was courtesy of my GF when I told her)

Reine and DebbieL have some good points.

"Normal" or not, the important thing is, it's not wrong.

That is important for your GF, and you, to know and understand. It's critcal for you to know this, and if your GF can't get her head around it, you may have to say "sayonara!" If you don't want to separate, then she has to understand that you will be doing this, and set up rules and boundaries that satisfy both of you. The classic DADT situation probably.