Why Do They Do It?????

[deebra]

I just read two threads on here about how the two CDs were singled out and made to feel uncomfortable by bully boys sucking down beer and women. Excuse this description but the bullys should be put in the same class as used toilet paper and flushed but why do women do this? This other thread speaks of a fairly new CD out with a friend for the first time, very self-conscious which is natural only to be snickered at and talked about and gauked at behind her back by women. This is the same disrespect as if they did it to a physically scared veteran or someone with a visual birth defect. Women should appreciate that a CD appreciates women and is trying as best they can to take on the roll as a woman. Women complain that they are being put down by society and males and when a male CD wants to be on the same page with them they huddle together, gossip, laugh and make the CD feel like they are a pervert or worse. Panties and bras are there world and a CD man had better not enter it. Why can't they be nice, appreciate the CD wanting to be like them and offer a smile, conversation and encouragement. BTY the CD that was out for the first time dressed very nice not to draw attention and blend, had a nice feminine shape and passable, why wouldn't anyone try to be nice and accepting to this person for what they have the courage and need to do in public. Again, why do women choose to put CDs down rather than be flattered and encouraging?

[Marcelle]

Hi Deebra,

I guess it comes down to fear (in a way). I find that people tend to fear things they don't understand. This becomes more prevalent when it breaks some societal convention (boxers are for boys . . . panties for girls).

Consciously some may be doing it out of spite or just plain meanness. While others may not be fully cognizant of what they are doing or just how hurtful it truly is. When you don't understand something, fear can manifest itself in various modus operandi, laughter, nervousness or sometimes just plain old aggression.

Unfortunately we can't change people. I do believe in my heart of hearts that for every "mean girl or mean guy (for that matter)" there are several who are kind or just don't care. In this case it is the squeaky wheel (mean girls) who get noticed. Besides, I can only imagine the miserable existence these people lead that they feel compelled to belittle someone else to make themselves feel good . . . in a way I do pity them.

Hugs

Isha

[Sonya]

Unfortunately we can't change people. I do believe in my heart of hearts that for every "mean girl or mean guy (for that matter)" there are several who are kind or just don't care. In this case it is the squeaky wheel (mean girls) who get noticed. Besides, I can only imagine the miserable existence these people lead that they feel compelled to belittle someone else to make themselves feel good . . . in a way I do pity them.
Very well said, I just don't understand why some people can not help being nasty and mean.

[Marcelle]

Hi Sarah,

I know a lot of nasty and mean people. You are right I don't get it. By all appearances they should be happy (they have it all). Perhaps when they see someone who is being true to themselves they are jealous because they can't express that type of freedom in themselves. Or it could be they are just nasty and mean and always have been. I'll say it again . . . humans we are a funny species.

Hugs

Isha

[reb.femme]

Hi Deebra,

I really think it comes down to a either a feeble mind or spite, but I prefer the former without evidence to the latter. What better way for such a person to elevate their position in the eyes of friends than to bring someone else down? Whilst I feel I'm doing the same here, I'm not doing this to enhance my standing. Would take way more than this :heehee:.

A good question deserving of a good answer. It really is at a level I would associate with school children, pointing people out in an obvious way, ganging up and the subject matter becomes the bullying objective in a flash.

Rebecca

[aalynn88]

Perhaps they were disrespectful because the CD looked better than the real girls.

[Kate Simmons]

The reasons that people bully others and gossip about them is basically the same. By degrading someone else, they feel better about themselves and their own insecurities. While most of it is self deception, it's basically fallen human nature to do that. Myself, I've come to chuckle when someone does that to me as it means I got their attention and/or made an impression. If you turn that around it can empower you.It's mostly a matter of perspective in the end. :)

[Jaylyn]

There has always been insecure people in the world and that is the only way they can feel secure in their own skins is to cut others down. I personally just don't associate or hang with that type personalities. Unfortunately we do run into folks like that so just remember they are the ones that need the help not you...

[Jodi]

Yes, the world is full of nasty, vicious people. It is up to us to sort them out and stay away from them.

Jodi

[Beverley Sims]

Degrading and bullying those that are different gives some a sense of satisfaction about themselves.
Usually they are people of low esteem.

[Dianne S]

Young people (especially men) plus alcohol plus insecurity and the need to show off = trouble.

[daarleane]

Question, why do young middle school age girls "cyber bully" another girl to the point that the victim commits suicide? Is this the same mentality present when as adults they try to ridicule anyone else they perceive as a threat to their own little insecure world?

[Karren H]

Men are afraid they might be attracted to another man.... women are afraid that we are going to steal their men! lol

[Frédérique]

Excuse this description but the bullys should be put in the same class as used toilet paper and flushed but why do women do this? Women should appreciate that a CD appreciates women and is trying as best they can to take on the roll as a woman. Again, why do women choose to put CDs down rather than be flattered and encouraging?

I was going to post in Isha’s thread, but I got waylaid…:sad:

I know for a fact that groups of men act with a pack mentality, perhaps doing things together that they would never do alone, but the need to “pack” together, probably for support and peer approval (or to reinforce their own prehistoric mammalian proclivities), is inherent and should be expected. Evolution is slow, and we MtF crossdressers have to suffer. They are also sending signals to women by exhorting manly virtues, perhaps masking any insecurity they may feel…

As for women, I can’t say what the problem is. This has been discussed from all angles in these parts, with differing opinions being bandied about, back and forth, all to no avail. If women want a strong male, they may denigrate any perceived weakness they come across, while other, more sophisticated women, comfortable with themselves, might find your crossdressing (and ongoing embrace of feminine virtues) to be a breath of fresh air, at least until a more suitable male homes into view, that is…

You would think that with all the people in the world a few variations against the norm would be expected and encouraged, but the opposite seems to be true. That thread about what it will be like in 50 years (for crossdressers) comes to mind – I KNOW things will the same for us then, and it will still be dangerous, and humiliating, for the MtF crossdresser to step into the light…
:straightface:


I guess it comes down to fear (in a way). I find that people tend to fear things they don't understand. This becomes more prevalent when it breaks some societal convention (boxers are for boys . . . panties for girls)

And people fear doing something about their own ignorance. That requires effort, you know…

[linda allen]

"Why Do They Do It?????"

Does it matter why? Is there something you can do about it? (The answer, BTW, is "No" to both questions.)

Many reasons have been posted, but in the end, it happens and will continue to happen. You can avoid the situations or you can attempt to deal with it. There is a potential danger in attempting to deal with it so avoiding it is the safest bet.

[vallerie lacy]

Have to agree with Kate Simmons on this. So many of these clowns think that by knocking others they look better. Perhaps they do to their own type, but for the majority of people they still look, not only like clowns, but like ignorant clowns

[gautier_nikolai]

Interesting question.Well unfortunately, as everyone knows, silly, excessive alcohol consumption in both sexes aggravates the situation alot.

However, i was thinking about this inherent millenia long hatred and fear by particular groups of people to differing groups, either skin colours, sexuality, languages, cultures, religions etc lately... and wondering if it has evolutionary roots concentrated deep in our primitive mammalian brains.

Originally i guess, long before air travel etc... and technology anyone who spoke, looked or acted in different ways to you and your tribe or fellow countrymen were potential attackers, there to pillage and rape and try to subjugate.That has to play a heavy evolutionary role i would postulate for differing tribes and nations to continue existing and therfore be genetically selected for.I also read lately in Scientific American the number one reason they suggest we humans paired off for life originally is to understandably stop infanticide; so i guess favored females partnering off with physically strong, agressive males.

However, now nerds are the new power people :heehee:!Evolution hasn't seemed to caught up with that yet!Regarding the recent post of the shorter, a little "nerdy" perhaps dude with the hot woman getting hassled but the pack.That's clear jealousy!They should all just realise they're better off going out learn programming languages than hanging around feeling sorry for themselves!:heehee:

So yeah my thoughts are maybe our Western society is progressing too fast, in terms of civilisation and liberalism (which i am all for) for some peoples' natural instincts to keep up with and the alcohol and group mentality breaks down any kind of societal barrier.Shame.

[Chickhe]

Probably the same reason kids bully other kids at school. It gives them a sense of power. The trick is to remove their power somehow.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm not a female so have no idea why they do anything! I haven't had many issues with women when out. In fact, have found them more curious and/or sympathetic.

However, men I understand. Besides being non-thinking jerks, many r very insecure with themselves and their sexuality!

[ArleneRaquel]

Doc,
You are so right. My experiences are that female are more sympathetic to CD's, while many males have questions about their own sexuality and try to be super macho when with others males, one result being that they feel that they must be aggressive in hostility when confronted by CD's, at a bar or anywhere for that matter. Also if one or two of us girls are out and about were are more likely to be verbally abused, when I have been in a larger group the big macho males are silent.

[Amanda M]

Deebra, it´s a mixture of gang mentality and insecurity.

We should be grateful in a way the these cretins exist, because they are the one who make the genuine people like you Deebra shine out.

[kimdl93]

Its bullying behavior. You see this in some defective people. They single out what they perceive as weakness...it could be the CDr, the fat kid, the not so smart kid, the nerdy kid, or the small for his age kid. AS for their sociological origins, I'm guessing that they feel inadequate, perhaps abused at home and this is a way for them to feel "superior".

[Stephanie47]

I think the majority of bullies and their ilk suffer from a lack of self esteem. They tend to be ignorant. The country is full of them. It's not limited to sexuality.

[sometimes_miss]

Perhaps they were disrespectful because the CD looked better than the real girls.

Either that, or the women thought he was sarcastically over the top about how women prep themselves visually for the opposite sex. I've heard that remark about a mtf TS who came through at work a few years ago; 'who's he trying to convince, himself or us', 'real women don't wear stuff like that', 'he looks like a clown with all that make up' (hey, she was in her forties, sure maybe she could have worn less make up and clothes a little less flashy, but did a pretty good job because if I hadn't seen her hands or heard her speak, I wouldn't have suspected she was TS). And yes, they used the male pronoun even though it was clear that she was TS. But then so many women are catty about each other, it doesn't surprise me that they act that way at all.

[molly m]

in my mind, the answer is pretty simple. a**holes come in every gender. just like they come in every age, occupation, race, nationality, sexual orientation, size, etc. we should always avoid ascribing any individual bad behavior to any classification to which they may happen to belong. i'm sure these particular girls have a long history of being a**holes to all kinds of people, not just cd's. you can't teach stupid.