Feeling down

[JuliaC]

I am just so confused on what I want in my life. I love girls and really badly want a girlfriend. But i also really want to dress pretty and girly and experiment with a guy. The thing is i don't feel like the first can happen without the second.

[Dannigurlfriend]

That could be a bit of a dilemma sure. You cant see yourself have it all? I would suggest being honest and trying to find a woman that can accept you for you and one that might like to participate or at least be understand of you bisexuality. Best of luck hun.

[Rachelakld]

I would suggest that you play around while single, and once you know what you want, then look for a relationship (not a good idea to play with boys after you have found a girlfriend - they don't really like that stuff)

[gautier_nikolai]

Hi.It sounds like a tough situation you're in.I feel for me because i have suffered from depression since 15.

I'm not sure if you identify as bisexual or not.Sorry if this sounds vulgar or too intrusive but are you physically excited (as a male) by men or do you just feel like it would turn you on en femme to be with a male.

If you aren't physicially and physiologically excited by the male form i would say you aren't bisexual.

There clearly are some deeper issues going on with you hun.You love girls and so i'm assuming are attracted physically and emotionally to women.

I could only recommend seeking out a qualified therapist in gender issues and pouring your heart out to her or him.I know when i have suffered with problems and depressionl good therapists can be worth their weight in gold.

Sorry i can't be more help.Please keep us all updated.

[Beverley Sims]

Either can happen without the other.
Try getting yourself a girlfriend first.
We have all had these feelings to some extent in our time.

[Lynn Marie]

I read in your profile that you're 19. It's been a while, but isn't confusion, raging hormones, and feeling like you know it all coupled with overwhelming ignorance pretty much the norm for that age. Trust me, you'll get over it soon enough. Meanwhile, enjoy how amazingly fabulous young men can look enfemme with just a bare minimum of smoke and mirrors.

[Marcelle]

Hi Julia.

Sweetie, you are very young and still trying to discover not only who you are but your sexuality as well. You do sound like you like girls in the way guys like girls. However, like "gautier-nikolai" asked, I am not sure if you think being with a guy "en femme" would be interesting of if you like guys they way you like girls?

Please don't feel down or saddened. I agree with most, explore and see what suits you (you are young and have time on your side). However, IMHO if you are still feeling sad/depressed on a daily basis, I recommend you seek out a therapist who specializes in gender identity to bring clarity to your confusion.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

This seems to be a recurring theme for you. Go back and look at your own posts, Julia.

But as you have read here over and over again, Gender identity and Sexuality are not the same thing. It seems to me that you're a young person who hasn't much sexual experience, certainly not an ongoing, intimate relationship. So, your sexual life is largely confined to fantasy. And those fantasies take you to any number of places. That is OK...its true for every young person.

You could experiment with males...lots of straight guys have at some time in their youth. Most don't stick with it. But based on what you've said - many times now - you seem to long for a female companion. I suspect the bi fantasies tied to dressing up are in some way just a substitute for real experience. So, get off the sofa, get out there and start making acquaintance with women your age - without expectations. Join a club, volunteer, take a class - and try to be genuinely interested in the people you meet - female and male. Sitting around here, lamenting your confusion isn't going to resolve it.