i couldnt have asked for better friends in life !

[Courtney . J]

long story short (since im in a rush to get to work but needed my CD.com fix this morning :o)

i recently came out and told my best friend a while back about Courtney , and he was 100% supportive of her and said just be whoever i want to be in life and he will still always be my friend ,. since that day not a damn thing has changed between our friendship and i am treated like i was 5 seconds before i told him

then the other day i had another friend drop by the house unexpected and i had just spent the previous day in 100% enfemme , so needless to say there was tale tails all over the house ,. when i heard him pull up i was in a mad rush to hide things and quickly try to wipe my make up off ,. but i forgot one important thing ,. the wig !! :eek:.lol .. soon as i answered the door i rushed off to the bathroom to try and clean my remaining make up off and he was left alone in the house for a few minutes then went outside to the backyard ,. i come out of the bathroom and notice the wig and quickly hide it ,. after that i was a nervous wreck and felt very self concious ,. i KNOW for a fact that he seen my wig ,. my make up on , and probably even smelled a slight hint of perfume in the air ,. but again was treated as if nothing was abnormal ,. nothing was said about it and i was treated like nothing ever happen ,.

i must say what a awesome feeling it is ,.so now that the close people in my life know about Courtney its time for me to decide when its best to take the next step in transition to being a full time woman ,.. only problem is my boss is super anti lgbt ANYTHING and i know if they found out they would probably hate me forever ,. ive been working there for 3 yrs now and love my job ,. but is a job more important than being truely happy ?

and i also just started working a 2nd job at a car dealership where there is NO way i could transition without being hated on ,.and being around beautiful ritzy women all day is driving me insane ,. there is not a second throughout the day that i am struggling inside with that deep burning desire to be a woman , plus there has already been some teasing about me being g*y , which really pissed me off ,. ive been keeping my arms shaved smooth and my nails just past the fingertips so i guess i have shown them signs of something they dont understand ,. but the next fawker that says something about me like that is gonna get their head slammed in a car door ! :heehee:

anywhoo i better get off here and finish getting ready ,. i sure wish i was slipping into a cute dress rather than these b0ring drab cloths :sad:

luv ya gurls , have a GREAT DAY ! :hugs:

CJ-Athena

[Jaylyn]

Be careful about idol threats. I wouldn't slam any ones head into a car unless I was being attacked physically. You don't wanna end up in jail. Besides you probably sale more cars because CDs usually keep themselves pampered and usually have a better taste in clothes and the beautiful ritzy women as you call them seem to like a man that be a manly man but with a touch of class. It's alright to rant on here cause we will listen and cut ya some slack as we all have some of the same feelings and a core of the same problems but watch the physical stuff that can get one in trouble...

[Beverley Sims]

You are just coming out, plenty of time to worry what you might do in the future.

[Courtney . J]

thanks Jaylyn ,. i was just joking/ranting about the physical violence , im not going to go that drastic ,. but i wouldnt hesitate a second to file harassment charges on them if it keeps going ,. i like to joke around just as much as everybody else but there is somethings that are unacceptable in my opinion ..

and THANK YOU for the comment about the GG's there ,. you have a good point ,. i thought they were just being overly friendly to me since i was the new guy ,. err i mean girl :D.. but i see your point :battingeyelashes:


You are just coming out, plenty of time to worry what you might do in the future.
yes but ive felt this way my entire life and feel that 24 yrs have already been wasted ,. im done with wasting time ,. i want to live life to the fullest !! :D

[Michelle789]

I'm really happy for you that you have such accepting friends. Live your life how you feel you're meant to live it. And find what balance of living as male and female works for you. Remember that every situation is only temporary too. Maybe some day you'll find a different job, maybe you'll only be working one job and have more time to be Courtney, maybe you'll work from home. A job is just a job. Although don't quit your job until you have another one lined up.