Halloween is not your salvation

[Jenniferathome]

It's that time of year again and the Halloween threads are starting. For the lurkers and newbies, I offer this advice.

I know there are some, perhaps many, who think Halloween is a perfect chance to dress publicly as a female of some sort and yet stay closeted. Wrong. You are kidding yourself if you think that anyone will consider it just a costume.

100% of your friends and strangers (even kids on the candy hunt) will think you are a closet cross dresser or more likely gay. Unless you dress Monty Python-esque and in a group, an obvious joke (and even then it is a close call), you will not get the benefit of the doubt. Men just do not dress as women.

So, dress as you like and have fun but suck it up and realize what it means. If you honestly think it will be perceived as a costume, don't do it. It's not a costume, it's a statement.

[Dianne S]

Funny, but I've never really been much into Halloween. Where I grew up as a kid, Halloween wasn't celebrated. Only when we moved to Canada was I exposed to it, and by then I was a bit old to have good kid memories of it. As an adult, I actively dislike Halloween... I hate the constant interruptions from kids trying to extort candy. :) I usually go out or turn off most lights and pretend I'm not home.

I agree with Jenniferathome: If you crossdress on Halloween, people will be suspicious. You're basically outing yourself.

[Dannigurlfriend]

You it's odd but I have never even considered dressing on Halloween. But I would agree that getting dressed and using the holiday as a way of going out most likely isn't the best idea.

[tiffanyjo89]

I actually think you bring a valid point up, but I think it depends on how seriously you've done costumes in the past, if you've done guy's costumes.

If you are a person who goes to conventions and participates in the cosplay community, then being a girl (in a girl costume, not just a "everyday girl") on Halloween with shaved legs, serious makeup, and other things is normal. If you are an otherwise "average Jo/e" who is the type to buy a costume off the shelf and put it on the first time the night of a party, then you probably would draw attention to yourself if you show up in a skirt and have your legs shaved.

[sometimes_miss]

I disagree 100%. 'Normal' guys do not dress up as women. Ever. Not even as jokes. And unless they're professional swimmers, NO GUYS shave their legs. As kids, when we played football and taped our ankles for extra support, a lot of us shaved up to the knee, but that was it. NO FURTHER. And we let it grow back right after football season. There will be some professional actors who try it to see if they can 'get away with it', or maybe to see just how good their acting talents are, but there's no way 99% of them will ever pass. And we don't, either.
If you want to be out, be out. But don't kid yourself that you're fooling anyone.....other than yourself, of course.

[Christie Camelle]

From my experience, this is not always the case. Like Tiffany said, it also depends on your past costumes. I have been Freddie Krueger in the past (complete with clothes that smelled burned), the Joker (perfect Heath Ledger scars), and the 7-Up Spot. Everyone I know knows that I plan Halloween costumes a year in advance. I dressed en femme last year. No costume. It was a hit and no issues or questions from anyone except "wow" and "how did you do that?" I had zero problems from strangers. It was amazing. It's Halloween, not confession. Relax and have fun with it!

[NicoleScott]

I partially agree. It's easier to get away with it if you dress as a female character than as "a woman". Then, it's just a costume, not an excuse for CDer to dress up. Fine line, most likely. Shaving the legs "for authenticity" is a hard sell.

[vallerie lacy]

Even an attorney will tell you, if you can get an answer without a retainer, that dressing up "a la drag" for Halloween is only circumstantial evidence in the case of John Doe vs crossdresser Lori Ann. If you have the wish to go out dressed, than screw those who label you. You're dressing for Halloween not xmas dinner at Aunt Sylvia's. Have a good time and remember to let any smart ass remarks roll off you as water rolls off a ducks freshly waxed bill or beak or ass.

[tiffanyjo89]

'Normal' guys do not dress up as women.

Yes, 'normal' guys don't.
But the people I was referring to are the ones who go to things like Comic Con and spend hours and days designing costumes. Many people do genderswapped versions of the costumes, and there are people who do full on cross-gendered costumes.

Like I said, it's up to the person in this case. Most people don't put that much effort into costumes, so they would definitely attract attention putting together even a slightly passable presentation. For those who are known to put effort into buying just the right things for a costume (I'm not doing Spock unless I can find the right color for my shirt and make the ears look just right) then going full on as a girl, wearing a girl's costume (not normal girls clothes) could work. For those (and this is probably about 75-85% of people) who would just buy those cheap vampire teeth and just have a black cape to be Dracula, but nothing else, except for maybe a layer of white makeup to take the color out of their face), then yes, you would definitely attract attention.

[arbon]

your really ruining it for a lot of people.

[Tracii G]

If you want to dress up for Halloween by all means do it.

[Jenniferathome]

your really ruining it for a lot of people.

Yep, reality bites. But if you are prepared, the bite is not as bad.

[Slipstream]

I like to go out on Halloween, as a regular guy, to see how all the GG's are dressed and maybe get some ideas.

[PaulaQ]

100% of your friends and strangers (even kids on the candy hunt) will think you are a closet cross dresser or more likely gay. Unless you dress Monty Python-esque and in a group, an obvious joke (and even then it is a close call), you will not get the benefit of the doubt. Men just do not dress as women.

I know two guys, neither of them CD's, who have dressed up as women quite convincingly for Halloween. Nobody assumed they were CD's. One of them was one of my kids. At this point, since I'm out to him, I'm reasonably confident he'd have told me "whew! me too!" were it the case that he was a CD.

I'd like to point out to everyone in this thread that nobody can read your mind. I'm sure there are things you can do that will give it away - but if you have a woman friend or spouse who you can say helped you do the look and makeup, people will just take it as "great costume!" If you go into a five minute spiel on how you achieved your beard coverage and the shades of eye shadow you used, then sure, they might suspect something.

Again - mind reading - doesn't happen.

[stacycoral]

Last year when I purchased my school girl outfit at DR. Johns, the SA told me that they have a lot of men coming in to purchase girl costume for Halloween party around the panhandle area, one thing most and I wil say most women get a kick out of it on Halloween, and will want to talk to you about how it feels to being dress as a woman, or ask how long did it take you to get ready for the event. yes there is always some that well look at you strange, but just remind them it Halloween, and part of the fun is surprising people who would have never thought to see you dress for a holiday like this, and there is always those you can't see pass the cookie cutter what a male should act like, YEs you might take a chance but to see the laugh and joy that you can share on just because your brave enough to be in the world as a girl, special wearing acostume is better than just dressing as a everyday woman, have fun hugs.

[Ms. Laura]

I agree with you to a point. I mean if I were to dress up as Laura, yeah, it would be outing myself to the more savvy. Thing is, crossdressers are not really in people's consciousness. They'll seek to categorize you as a goofball because it's an easier intuitive leap. If you're a recognizable character, like Marilyn Monroe or something, I don't think you'd be outing yourself. In 2 weeks, everyone would move on from it, I think. Just being a "sexy cop" as a female would be weird enough to get you noticed though. Costume selection is key.

Myself, being a character is fun, but isn't crossdressing. It isn't an expression of "Lauraness" it's about making people laugh because people LOVE laughing at guys in dresses! Fact of life.

[SherriePall]

This is why I don't dress on Halloween. Usually the day before or the day after. That way if I am read, they will say, "Ah, isn't Halloween tomorrow (or yesterday or whenever)?"
BTW, no one who I have not already come out to (i.e., mostly SA's), sees me dressed around Halloween. No work place costumes.

[Sabrina69]

I agree and do not agree with the OP and some of the other negative comments.... If you wear a costume, things are less likely to be a problem. In my case, I have been a witch 4 of the last 5 years, and dress my motorcycle up as a witches broom, and the SO rides on the back as either a black cat or another witch and it’s a huge hit. I also keep my legs shaved, but in the case of the costume, no one even asked about that. I am in the biker community as well, and other bikers I know shave their legs, arms, chest, head or whatever they want, no one asks questions as to why, we are who we are and it’s no one’s business or no one cares who is shaving what. I get wild at times and for the women chanting my name (not on Halloween) I been encouraged to strip for the ladies and I do, no one ever asks why I shave my legs or my "equipment". Yes, I do have a very wild side to me...

The last party I was at, before I had my first beer, I had to show the ladies my new "man view" mesh undies, complete with my shaved legs... again, it’s fun, no one questions it. Maybe it helps I carry myself in a very masculine way normally, complete with a heavy Brooklyn accent, facial hair and tats.

On Halloween I even will make fun of myself, in one contest I won, I had everyone laughing as I mention I should win, my pantyhose are so tight the boys are split in an east and west direction. - LOL. The person I beat had a way better costume, but my humor and because I was in a female costume, obviously had a huge advantage. This was a party after the one at the biker bar, so, I do nto stop at one party. Other years, we bar hopped after the main party is over at 11pm. No one, anywhere ever bothered me about it....

The very first year I did it, I had on black tights. One women, who I know asked me, “what are you wearing under the dress”. I replied, “tights”, she said, “besides that”, I said “just tights”, so she said, “so you have tights on your thingie”, I said yeah and it feels good” well, we all laughed and we went on with the night having fun. I turned what many would feel is a potential embarrassing situation, into a funny one and no one cared after that. Now, if I would have got quiet or acted scared, that would have been BAD and be outed perhaps. You must show you are comfortable and act yourself.

so, my costume (latest version, it gets changed up some each time).... It’s a black "goth" dress, knee length and I show lots of leg. I took white pantyhose and dyed them green to match my green face and put on black fishnets over the pantyhose. My legs are shaved (I shave my face for the costume) and a few of the women get a kick out of the fact I have on pantyhose. Hell, I even gave a great photo op of my dresses hiked up and my "male-ness" in full view under the hosiery.... What happens, lots of laughs and fun, and many women taking pictures. lol. My shoes, to keep it a tad less feminine are simple closed toe Aresoles, and a modest 3" heel.

Now, my SO wants me to dress as just a woman, but this is where I agree with the OP... That is very different. I do think, going as a "woman" would raise more suspicion among your friends. However, you SO, if you have one, can also be your cover and she can say "I made him do it" or "I won a bet we had and got to pick his costume". I did tell her, I will but only if we do NOT go to the friends party, and maybe a large club or a gay bar, where things are more liberal. Remember, your SO, if you have one, can help with cover, you can be a hooker, she can be a pimp, you can be a bride, her a groom, you can be a housewife, her the husband, you can be Dorothy and she can be Scarecrow, you the mother, her the baby... I can go on and on.

My witch has become more a tradition, so its expected now... but yes, if I did change it to "plain woman" or another female costume, it may draw more suspicion.

Other thoughts:
1. Leave your female persona and voice at home, be a guy looking good.
2. If you have a SO, have her help as per some of my suggestions
3. Go to a Gay bar or club if you want a more liberal place to be girl..
4. do not use breast forms, use tissue instead...
5. GET DRUNK and HAVE FUN!!! :)

My last tip and the most important one… Be comfortable in your sexuality, that’s the main compliment I get from the ladies. Also, for you singles, this is also a GREAT way to find CD friendly women or men, if that’s what you prefer. Do you want me to tell you how much I got groped by a few at a different party? Some women get REALLY turned on by either you in drag or just the fact, you were man enough (comfortable in your sexuality) to do it.

In the end, I carry myself in a way that no one would probably think I would do this at home, in private which I am sure helps… If you act nervous, or not yourself, I am sure others will get suspicious. In my case, its all been a great bit of fun… and I am doing it at a large party, at a biker bar that’s popular for 1% MC’s to hang out.

To the OP, it’s not as bad as you make it sound, so please do not ruin the dreams of others looking to break out, in public…. It can be done right.

Trust me, it’s not that scary..... Man up and be a girl! :)

This may be the last year I do witch, we are looking at doing Sith Lord costumes, we are both huge Star Wars fans and play SWTOR MMO as well. I have yet to decide if I will be male or female, she definitely wants to be a female. I just hate to be a guy on Halloween, but for this, I may just be male. Her and I are talking about maybe going to Fantasy Fest in the FL Keys as well (for future Halloween getaways), and I understand, I can dress female that entire event. It would be cool to be a girl for a week, and its not likely we would know anyone there anyway.

[xdressed]

Here's a video of me from last Halloween http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIDdmUpyMUQ

I was like that most of the day, and I have since come out to nearly everyone from the party that I already knew and none of them suspected anything because of it. There were even photos on facebook, and while several friends did make a few jokes at my expense, no one has ever actually said anything or brought it up since then. People might wonder but they forget soon enough if they have no other reason to think about it.

[AllieSF]

I have to disagree with this absolute premise that if one dresses 100% of friends and strangers will think that. I dressed completely as a normal woman with friends and co-workers wives assistance in 1980 long before Allie was ever an obvious idea in my mind. The husband of one of the wives also dressed up as a woman more sexy style for the same company costume party. He even shaved off his mustache! I can't say what others were thinking and neither can you Jennifer. We can guess and maybe get very close to the fact, but we really can't say what others may think. No one I knew at that time ever made comments about wither of us dressing as women. I have known other males who have done this and no one ever made comments about them. Where I come from, the Mid-West, we like to have fun and sometimes get a bit kooky or wild on the innocent side. So, dressing as a monster, women, Peter Pan or a pregnant nun was acceptable and funny and always seemed to bring out those, "Now why didn't I think of that cool costume" type of questions from the party goers. It was fun and no one read more into it than necessary.

Now, no one did the MtF costumes on a regular basis and we were far from having the expertise and available supplies, etc. that we have today to be able to perfect our look. So, we probably really did look like amateurs having fun and nothing else.

I do not disagree that if a man dresses as a woman someone may think that the look is too good, the mannerisms to real for that person to be really dressing that way for the first time. However, to state that most, or as you stated, 100%, would think that way is 100% incorrect! To caution us that some may get read more than they want to, i.e. that their dressing may be more than just for a party, is fine. The key word is "may". Life is made up of a lot of maybe's and not all absolutes, besides death and taxes.

Happy dressing folks and the sky is not falling.

[AprilCross]

I never got any negative feedback when I dressed up for halloween. I had a big circle of friends and out of them at least 2 or 3 guys would dress up just for a funny Halloween costume. The generation I live in I guess is just more accepting.

[Beth-Lock]

I know there are some, perhaps many, who think Halloween is a perfect chance to dress publicly as a female of some sort and yet stay closeted. Wrong. You are kidding yourself if you think that anyone will consider it just a costume.

100% of your friends and strangers (even kids on the candy hunt) will think you are a closet cross dresser or more likely gay. Unless you dress Monty Python-esque and in a group, an obvious joke (and even then it is a close call), you will not get the benefit of the doubt. Men just do not dress as women.

I think how it is perceived, depends on the era and the country/locality. Implying that it will be harshly and intolerantly judged, is a second and unrelated point, and that again depends on the era and country/locality. It also depends on where it is done, the venue, and when, in the morning or noon hour, versus in the evening or at dinner time. It can be simply a whole lot of fun that practically nobody would take seriously, if you get away with it.


There is an element of truth in what you say, but not totally. Some men have been known to dress as a woman, as a prank, and crash or attend a serious and non-costume party. In my era, I don't think there were all that many boys who had not tried to dress as a girl when the opportunity presented itself, and not always on Halloween. Though that is hard to authenticate as to exact percentage, I would think of it s a right of passage for guys who never turn out to be cross-dressers, transgendered or gay. Guys thought of it and treated it as like a dare, and bragged about it after, as proof they were audacious.

[Frédérique]

So, dress as you like and have fun but suck it up and realize what it means. If you honestly think it will be perceived as a costume, don't do it. It's not a costume, it's a statement.

Well, don’t you think that the CHILDREN are making a “statement” as well? What do you think Halloween is all about, anyway? You dress up according to your wishes, desires, or particular bent, unless you have ZERO imagination and are in it purely for the candy. Halloween is for imaginative fun-seekers (of all ages), damn the censorious torpedoes and FULL SPEED AHEAD...

BTW, I haven’t gone out on Halloween since the 6th grade, and I was pushing it then, but I will be admiring everyone’s costume on Halloween again this year, and making no inferences, regardless…
:straightface:

[Veronica27]

About 11 or 12 years ago my wife suggested that I get dressed to hand out the candy to the trick or treaters. There is no way I could ever pass, no matter how real or naturally I dressed, and back in those days I had never shaved my legs. Everyone who saw me had a good laugh at my "costume", and no one ever said anything about CDing or asked any such questions. About 4 or 5 teenagers showed up at the door at the same time (not in costume). All were boys except for one girl. The boys all laughed and one asked if those were real. The girl, who had sat down in a chair by the door, said "you should have shaved your legs". Over the next few days, a few neighbours who had not seen me, mentioned to me that they heard what I had done and wished they had seen me. They said I would have to dress up again the next year.

The next year I did dress again and everyone was quite jovial about it, but the element of surprise was missing. Afterward I wondered if people were starting to wonder if there was more to it than simply a costume. The third year, I decided to try to dress up in more of a costume, using an old white peignoir set that my wife loaned to me to try to make myself look like a female angel. The reaction was about the same as the second year. The number of kids coming around was dropping off and we were barely getting more than about 7 or 8, as they were getting older and the nearby churches and schools were beginning to hold community shell out nights for the safety of the young ones.

I decided to not dress up after that because of the small number of callers and my concerns about any vibes I was giving out that I actually was a crossdresser. A few neighbours mentioned that I wasn't in costume and seemed a bit disappointed. The past few years, we have not bothered with Halloween, turning off the lights or going out somewhere. Last year, we were in Salem Massachusetts and it is fascinating to see everyone wandering around the town in great costumes. We were on a cruise, and I had no feminine clothing with me, so I could only watch. I do not remember seeing any crossdressed "costumes", but it was in the afternoon that we were there.

I don't think that wearing a female costume or being crossdressed at Halloween necessarily sends a message to others that you do this all the time. Even if your image is well done, it doesn't say anything more than that you had some good help. I think that most people assume that a female costume on a man requires some "womanly" help to get it right. If you dress up repeatedly each year among the same group of people, then some might begin to question but I think that most are discrete enough to keep it to themselves. After all it is Halloween and they are probably in some ridiculous costume as well. If you want to have a daring night out of your closet, Halloween is probably your best opportunity. Just bear in mind the usual safety precautions.

Veronica

[Tina_gm]

I don't know if simply dressing up as a woman would be a give away, but how good you are at it.... how good you can walk in heels, shaving or showing shaved legs etc etc, that is what would likely tip people off.

[Ceri Anne]

I have a gay friend in LA who commented that Halloween is when all the cross dressers come out. If they really though they were women, why would they use that for a Halloween costume? Very valid point. If we are attempting to be ourselves, then we wouldn't consider that a costume. While I know many who do not yet have the confidence to go out pretty, can do so on Halloween, I would like to challenge them to not dress as a woman, but dress as a character that a woman would. Such as ballerina, pirate wench, Disney princess, female zombie etc. Don't dress as the girl next door. I agree, if your not wishing to come out, many will definitely wonder.

[Christie Camelle]

Oh! Don't dress as a zombie! People might aim for your head! Have mercy! Do not dress as Frankenstein (or his bride)! They will grab their pitchforks! They might burn you at the stake of you dress as a witch! And whatever you do, do NOT put a star on your Christmas tree this year! That is a dead giveaway that you are from space! *rolls her eyes* Hell, just tell people you're dressed as a crossdresser for Halloween!! LMAO!

[Lorileah]

I would like to challenge them to not dress as a woman, but dress as a character that a woman would. Such as ballerina, pirate wench, Disney princess, female zombie etc.
or as a guy? or as a guy pretending to be a woman pretending to be a guy?

No one here has really posted anything serious right? All tongue in cheek? Because otherwise I have to wonder about you all :)

[franlee]

This is such an irony! So many of us are worried about looking to comfortable, naturally feminine or convincing at Halloween. Then when we dress to go out we can't be comfortable, act naturally feminine and much less convincing and worry about the world looking straight at us.

[Ressie]

Maybe dressing on halloween is more about sticking one foot out of the closet - a way to show that you do have an interest in CDing without making an actual statement. Someone told me long ago that's it's better to joke about being kinky than to keep it all pent up inside. So why not let a few people see you dressed one day of the year when others are wearing costumes? Will people talk? Wonder? Assume? Yes, they will. But for some of us it may be a way of testing the waters. I don't see myself dressing on halloween, but I'm pretty sure those that do know what they're getting into.

Oh, once I wore a blonde wig with a monster mask. I wonder if I outed myself? haha

[Tamara Croft]

your really ruining it for a lot of people.Cus he has nothing better to do...

We have tones of men who dress as women here for halloween, no one cares, no one is talking about it, people are having parties and having a good laugh... you need to stop ruining it for people and those agreeing with you, stop being sheep... baaaaaaa........

[Leila Be]

"100% of your friends and strangers (even kids on the candy hunt) will think you are a closet cross dresser or more likely gay. .-.... It's not a costume, it's a statement."

Having considered it as a possible way to get out of the house for once and for all, I do believe you're right in the end.

[Sejd]

I wholeheartedly agree with your post. It's a terrible mistake if you do that. That's the one evening you should NOT dress :0)

[Sandygal]

To much over thinking. Dress up and have fun.

[NicoleScott]

Any CDer who DOESN'T dress up for Halloween at least once in his life would probably be accused (by some here) of overcompensating.
Hey, we're crossdressers! It's our day!

[EmilyPith]

Good points all around, I think.
Proceed with caution.

As an aside, Is this just costume to you, or are your drab clothes the costume?



I for one want to be the bunny girl from the first episode of the Walking Dead.

[Sherlyn]

Did you have a bad experience on Halloween Jennifer.? ..your kinda knocking down something many here look forward to ...someone here for the first time reading this may react and be afraid to do something they have been looking forward to... cuz they are in the closet.... and to them its a chance for some fun ..it's Halloween ..everyone can be who they want ..who cares ...ya.. you might get a laff ...and on the other hand if you pull it off well with pride of who you are... you may just get a compliment..its not the bad..roll the dice ...:D

[sandra-leigh]

I disagree 100%. 'Normal' guys do not dress up as women. Ever. Not even as jokes.

Unless they are participating in cancer support activities. Or are participating in Take Back The Night. Or are participating in ****Walk. Or came through the British boys school system, where the women were always played by men (which there is hundreds of years of tradition for, because in a number of European countries, acting on stage was prohibited for women.) Or they are part of an all-male sketch comedy or improv act.


And unless they're professional swimmers, NO GUYS shave their legs.

Unless they are bicycle racers. Or are speed skaters. Or are wrestlers. Or have medical problems with their legs. Or are models.

I shaved my legs a couple of times, for cross-dressing reasons, several years ago. My wife noticed quickly. No-one else said a thing, never a question.

These days I do not shave my legs because I simply have so little hair on them that it would almost be pointless. It just happened that way. There might be a relationship to HRT, but I do recall that it was getting fairly sparse even before that. No-one asks, no one stares, no one cares.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Wonderful. Next you're all going to tell me that the Great Pumpkin doesn't exist either!

[Jenniferathome]

No Sherlyn, never had a bad experience. Never dressed as a woman for halloween. But those few rare guys who did, were always talked about in exactly the way I described. The point is, you don't need Halloween to go out. You're proof of that as am I. In fact, a "woman" is not a costume! I think expectations can run so high because this odd event seemingly provides some cover. It doesn't cover cross dressers. And as I wrote in the original post: dress and have fun. But be prepared or as you stated, "..roll the dice ..."

[Sherlyn]

But I'm wondering Jennifer... you say a few rare guys who did ...that's rare ???..lol ...I think not ....sounds like the few can control the many ..in this case I think not ...:D..and of course roll the dice :D

[NicoleScott]

Never dressed as a woman for halloween.

That's interesting. Never did it but knows all the bad stuff that will happen if you do.
Many of us did it, had a great time, and lived to tell about it.
Stated with authority, having done it.

[kimdl93]

Just remember whatever you do...someone, somewhere may take exception...so don't do anything!

But seriously, in our culture any public display of CDing will elicit questions from at least a few suspicious souls. My first wife immediately assumed a guy to be gay because he dressed up like a hooker for a Halloween party. That in spite of knowing I was a CDr.

[Marcelle]

The point is, you don't need Halloween to go out. You're proof of that as am I. "

Hi Jennifer,

I agree in principle that one must be prepared for what they do. If you go out dressed en femme and someone you know clocks you as a CDer and confronts you, then you can either claim plausible deniability (dude relax it was a costume that some guys dared me to wear) or fess up.

As far as passing, while some like yourself may be able to pass and are quite comfortable with it, some of us (myself included) have a hard time passing for even a few seconds. So for those of us who really want to experience stepping out en femme, this one night might be blessing and yes it could go bad or it could be fine . . . you roll the dice and pay the price.


And unless they're professional swimmers, NO GUYS shave their legs.

Really, lots of guys (non-CD) remove body hair for various reasons. I have fought competitively for years (UFC style) and let me tell you the first time an opponent yanks out a hunk of chest or leg hair, you run screaming for the razor and wax.

In the end . . . it's a holiday . . . can't we just enjoy that without a debate?

[Stephanie47]

Jennifer may be correct that some may suspect the guy is too convincing not to be a cross dresser. I went out dressed on two Halloweens and dressed as an ordinary female. If I was going to muster up my courage and do that, I wasn't going to waste it dressing as a Disney Princess or French Maid. I wanted to dress as an ordinary woman. I did not go to a venue where family, friends and neighbors may hang out or I would encounter them. I went where nobody would know me.

I always thought it would be great to host or be invited to a Halloween party where the theme would be men attired as women. It would be interesting to see the wide range of dress up.

When I have viewed the annual "Walk in Her Shoes" breast cancer fundraiser, it is interesting to see some guys are wearing hot pink shower flip-flops and other on the other end of the spectrum wearing four inch strap on heels. Of course, the women around me remarked about the four inchers must be CDers while the flip-flops are chicken.

[Dana L]

I wouldn't totally disagree with you but, Halloween is a great time to peek out of the closet a little. I don't think just dressing female is a good costume, but to go as a female character is fun for all especially when you do it top notch. Last year I went as a french maid, legs shaved, pierced earrings, hair, makeup, nails, the whole nine yards. It was huge hit with everyone. No negative reactions. This year I'm going as Wonder Woman and hope to have the same experience. Yes maybe I run the risk of people thinking I might be a closet cross dresser. So what it's fun and I get to be out for an evening as me and if anyone wonders about me then they won't be as shocked when I do come out some day.

[MssHyde]

for me halloween was my favorite time of year. its the best time to risk it. to dress as a woman action figure, pirate, maid, nurse what ever its the best shot many will have to get a taste of it. for the guys that dont pass it will be a good time.

for those that do, it maybe the chance to prove it.

my wife told me I put to many details into dressing it shows I'm serious, that I want to look like a woman (transvestite)

I really don't care if I'm made, I'm not made by everyone. and its a riot.

I loved to see myself in a skirt with high heels watching a movie, after having dinner out on Halloween.

just to put it out there, I dress as a woman some thing. as a woman pirate, as a woman doll, as a biker babe.

pick a theme and have fun.

I'd say go for it.

[barbie lanai]

I only dressed enfemme for Halloween once, back in the 7th grade. Figure I dress enfemme all I want the rest of the year.

[Alice Torn]

I wish there was a yearly day for just wearing costumes, other than Holloween. I used to go to summer singles masqurade dances. Holloween has dark origins, and undertones, but, it is a chance for us who are not ready to go out regularly, to go out, and i doubt there will be trouble, unless alcohol is greatly involved. Since i am not into bar scene, I hope to go to some stores, maybe a mall, Wallyworld, and enjoy that i won't be the only one not dressed as normally.

[Abbygirl]

I don't usually reply to discussion threads after they have received this many posts, but decided to make an exception this time...

I'm a little surprised no one mentioned the same feeling I have lurking in the lower portions of my mind - the feeling that although I'm closeted, I kind of don't want to be. I know that by wearing a female costume, I'm making a statement. I believe part of me WANTS that statement to be made. It's like coming out in a minor, passive sort of way.

I'm OK with others thinking I think it's just a Halloween costume I wear with impunity, when all the while I know perfectly well I'm making a statement, that I'm revealing something about myself. After all these years of hiding my Abby side, I think part of me kinda wants people to know. Halloween is a great time to drop a little (or not so little) hint. Maybe if one day I do ever come out, everyone will just say, "yeah I knew ever since you wore that _____ costume".

[Msora]

Coming out to my friends is actually kind of the plan this year. A small gathering at my place with my closest friends and me in yet another obscure comic book character. Except this time, it's a female obscure comic book character.

[Abbygirl]

Good luck Msora. I know it will go great for you!

[Sarah Welch]

Many years ago, I used the night as a chance to sort of come out to family and close friends. The acceptance level and my courage were greatly enhanced IMHO, it really did help get the ball rolling in my case.

[Emma Leigh]

Totally disagree.....in my experience most men will dress in public as a woman at any oppurtunity....I think all men are actually closet CDers....ironically as a Cder I dont

[~Joanne~]

I disagree all the way around. I refuse to believe this at all. Halloween is the perfect time for a closeted girl to test the waters. If nothing else, just to get out of the house for a bit. Personally I go out a few days before halloween and not much has ever been said but if it ever did, it's my crutch. On halloween I prefer a female costume as this year I hope to do batgirl. If we do anything at all this halloween , we should at least have some fun.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn, That's funny, That's probably the only night that I don't dress up because I give out the candy.

[Brooklyn]

So, do you think my plans to go in drag to see Michelle Visage in Rocky Horror with a gay friend would raise any suspicions?

[Jacqueline Winona]

You know what, none of us (and I mean none) know what the neighbors might think, even if we go all out. Sure, some might talk, but most are probably going to forget about it by Nov. 3. Have fun, don't overdo it of course, but don't worry about it. If you're doing this on Thanksgiving, then people will talk. But Halloween is about having a good time, and if that's what you want to do, have no regrets.

[Launa]

I dressed publicly for the first time 3 years ago on Halloween night. I have now been out and about now many times in the public light. Taking the chance vs getting caught is worth the risk!!
If I ever get caught I won't be trying to make up some shitty excuse as why I'm dressed as a woman or try and blame it on a Halloween costume.....

[Badtranny]

Totally disagree.....in my experience most men will dress in public as a woman at any oppurtunity....I think all men are actually closet CDers..

Many CD's think this.

It's not true. It's not even close to being true. As a former closet queen who's met a few guys in rather intimate situations, I can tell you for sure that none of them were under-dressed. In fact the overwhelming majority of gay men don't want to be associated with anything feminine at all.

Being a cross-dresser is probably about as common as being gay, so that means about 10-20% depending on who you ask.

[Beverley Sims]

I think 50 percent might wonder, when I have dressed well I used to get compliments as to how good I looked.
Next Halloween, they are all waiting to see what I am wearing.
Very little question of my polarized gender.
Ah! that is what's wrong with me.....
I suffer from polarized gender. :)

[Chickhe]

This is nonsense. It is all based on fear and inexperience. I can tell you from experience that dressing up 100% passable (in a female themed costume) does not imply anything and certainly does not 'out' you. I do not recommend any costume at work other than a boring conservative one. At parties, anything goes. The only time you will run in to problems is if you let your personal fears and insecurities out. You should not explain or tell people what you feel. Just say you watched ruPauls drag race and thought the whole world is doing it so why not?! You need to be confident and shrug off any negativity. Jokes are possible, but you just fight back with a few jokes of your own. The secret to pulling it off, is to have the attitude that it is a costume...you are not being you. The advantage Halloween gives you are a CDer is the ability to let people see you enfem so they get over any shock in a positive way. Then later on if you dress, its less likely a surprise, but its far from expected that you will just because you did Halloween. Another point is about self confidence and learning not to care what other people think. ...you don't know what people are thinking, so stop trying to read their minds. Just do it! Its just a costume... you are not really super man or clark kent so stop thinking people will believe you are!

[Erica Marie]

Im with you on this Jennifer.
Not quite sure how to comment on this. For me dressing is more of an identity issue and not a "costume". So for those who think they can dress as a female and not be noticed, sorry. Unless you are going as a bearded hillbilly girl with your chest hair showing as a joke. Then most likely someone will notice and have questions that you may not be able to answer.

[Majella St Gerard]

I have dressed up as Dracula many times for Halloween and nobody has ever accused me of being a vampire. I have dressed as a woman twice in 50 years, the first time when I was in my 30's, I just dressed up as a woman no real costume, I got lots of "looks". The second time was when I was 49, I wore a French maid uniform. I don't care what people think, if I did I wouldn't have worn the outfit.

[Tamara Croft]

This is nonsense.That's the best reply yet ;) because it is nonsense. All I see is a bitter post from someone who probably doesn't go out on halloween and is just trying to make others feel bad for it...

[Kate Simmons]

For those of us who really don't care if we "fool" anyone or not the issue is moot. In any case, whenever I dress en femme to go out to the club or whatever, I consider the whole thing a costume, right down to the makeup and the wig. I don't ever consider it a statement but like Cyndie Lauper my goal is just to have fin. "Nuff said. ;):battingeyelashes::)

[Bifrost]

I've always found that dressing for Halloween so effectively that you pass as a female to all but those who know you well is a hoot. That said, I've been out for years, so when people comment on my look, that it's a little "too good", I nod and smile and explain that I had to try to tone it down from what I was wearing Tuesday. ;)

[Dianne S]

I wish there was a yearly day for just wearing costumes, other than Holloween.

Purim. Just say you're Jewish and dressing up as Queen Esther or Vashti. :)

[linda allen]

I've posted what amounts to a shorter version of Jennifer's original post in reply to several of the Halloween dressing posts over the years. Dress as a female around friends, neighbors, or co-workers and they will suspect you do this on a regular basis unless you do a really bad job of it. And what's the fun in that?

If you want to use Halloween as a crutch for dressing and want to do your best, go where people won't know you. A bar (not one you normally patronize as a male), a public event or party, another town, etc. There, people will either think you are a woman or think you're in costume but it won't matter because they don't know you.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Halloween is a great day to dress what you want to be no one really judges you on that day.

[Ashlee]

I did dress up for a Halloween party once. I went and had a professional makeover and was femme from the skin out, I mean the works. this was in 2007 with my wife to a small party with some family (brother and sisters in law and their friends) and I never heard a thing about it since. I do wish I didn't do it and I make sure to be all the man that I am since then (i.e. not shave, get dirty, do the manly stuff you imagine) so as not to make people think that I do this more than I do. I was ready to explode so I did what I did. It was awesome and I had a lot of fun. Unfortunately there are pics out there of that night so as I said...I gotta be the man as much as I can so if this does come out I can just play it down as it being a 1 time deal at a Halloween. The passage of time does help and I do not do things to arouse suspicions (i.e. shave my legs, under dress etc. severely closeted here)

[linda allen]

One thing I've learned about web forums regardless of the subject is; Nobody ever convinces anybody that their position is right and the other person's position is wrong. If I say it's white and they say it's black, ten pages later nothing will have changed.

I suppose the discussion is good for those who haven't made up their minds but that's about it. I would like to see someone count the responses here, pro and con and post the results. :devil:

[Tina_gm]

I think I get what Jennifer is saying in the OP, and she does have a point. Not everyone is going to go oh yeah, we know why they are dressing.... but some might, depending on how far one takes it. Some guys do it as a mockery of sorts, leaving the facial hair, not really trying to look fem, just putting on a dress etc etc. Be a little too good at it, it may raise a few eyebrows here and there if someone is closeted. Some may think hmmm, he's pretty good at that. So, I can see where if someone is using halloween as a cover to go out in public but stay closeted, they may be leaving the door open a bit here. Personally I do not think its going to be that big of an issue for most others. I have seen lots of guys dressed up as women for halloween, and I don't automatically assume they are cd'ers, unless they are really good at it, that is.

[JamieG]

I can only comment on my own experience. My first "in public" dressing was on Halloween in 2004. My wife and I went as two female pop stars to a party thrown by some of our more liberal friends. Everyone was impressed with my costume and some still talk about it today. No one asked me if I was a crossdresser, and as far as I know, no rumors have circulated. In three of the last four years, my wife and I have performed in a charity drag show, the most recent time I went all out with a professional makeover and shaving. Some of the friends who were at the Halloween party attended the shows to cheer us on. Still, no awkward questions or swirling rumors. It's quite possible that this couple suspects, but it hasn't changed our relationship with them.

I think the vanilla world believes so strongly that crossdressers must be gay, that if you date regularly or are in a serious relationship with a GG, they can't imagine that you would be CD. If your GG does your makeup and helps pick out an outfit (or claims to), that also provides you with suitable cover for looking too good. As long as you don't do it too often and you always have a good excuse, people will just see it as clowning around. Now, of course if you have a reputation as a no-nonsense kind of guy who never wears a costume.... well then maybe you have some explaining to do.

In short, going out on Halloween was the second best crossdressing decision I ever made (the first was coming out to my wife). It was a chance for me to be dressed around friends, and to be accepted that way. Although I knew dressing like that was only temporary, it went a long way towards removing the fear and self-loathing I experienced for a long time before. Some people might dress once in public and decide they never want to do it again. The good thing about Halloween is you can do this, tell people you don't understand how women do it, and go back to your regular drab presentation, with no real cost to your reputation.

[Stevie]

Just responding to your post Jen, you are correct. Part of me feels that way. People assume the worst and I'm afraid of it. I can't find a outfit without mixing it within my cding. Probably why I resist wearing make up even now.

[arbon]

@Stevie - Its halloween! Free pass day. Some people might suspect, but unlikely they would assume the worst, and even if they did don't let it stop you if you want to do it. And what is the worst anyway?

Last year the mayor of the town I live in did drag, I ran into him at the grocery store and everyone was getting a good giggle our of it. But he is still mayor, no one cared the next day.

[MysticLady]

As an adult, I actively dislike Halloween... I hate the constant interruptions from kids trying to extort candy. :) I usually go out or turn off most lights and pretend I'm not home.

Wow, what a fuddy duddy. Party Pooper. :p

[Tina_gm]

Arbon that wouldn't be Mayor West would it? who looked at himself in the mirror and said "my God, I am a woman" (referencing to family guy btw)

[Dianne S]

Wow, what a fuddy duddy. Party Pooper. :p

Hey, it's what I grew up with! :) There are plenty of other ways to have fun.

[Beth-Lock]

Cus he has nothing better to do...

We have tones of men who dress as women here (England) for halloween, no one cares, no one is talking about it, people are having parties and having a good laugh...

Indeed, in my earlier post about it depending where in the world it is done, I had in mind England, and even more specifically, the once famous professor and novelist Kingsley Amis, crashing an Oxbridge faculty party with a friend, both cross-dressed. He annoyed the up-tight, had a lot to drink, and enjoyed it as an outrageous prank. Maybe he was trying to get even for his disappointment that his fellow professors were not serious enough about English literature to engage in enough well-thought out conversation on academic subjects. Or maybe the man who called Jane Austen's genre as amounting to the "pornography of money" was just a rebel.


I've always found that dressing for Halloween so effectively that you pass as a female to all but those who know you well is a hoot. That said, I've been out for years, so when people comment on my look, that it's a little "too good", I nod and smile and explain that I had to try to tone it down from what I was wearing Tuesday. ;)


Of course it can arouse suspicions if you do it too well, or"just happen" to have a full outfit of women's clothes when you are a man, so you can cross-dress really well as a woman. I got asked at a costume party before I transitioned, where I got the clothes. I sort of fibbed a little and said, "from here and there." But i could point to the fact that some items were men's clothing, that just could look like women's. The theme was a beach holiday in the south, and the few other guys who dressed contented themselves with a men's Hawaian shirt and sunglasses, or something like that, though the women who dressed, got into more elaborate costumes, (but not cross-dressing).
. . It was the first time I had dressed really in public I think, at least in front of people I knew, and my nerves ran riot the whole week before, and I was going to call it off, but eventually went anyway. I huddled in the car outside for a few minutes before going in, watching others arrive first, and when I did go in, I was wearing plain beige women's slacks, which, when I saw nobody seemed hostile, I took off in the bathroom and revealed a shortish white skort. During the party I was really amazed at how I sat with some male acquaintances, dressed like that and straightening out my skirt once in a while, and talking completely normally with them about such things as cable tv, etc., and nobody in that church choir seemed to think anything was amiss! The minister who had poor eyesight, seeing me across the room, did not recognize me, asking who the woman was. It was a hoot!

[ReineD]

We have tones of men who dress as women here for halloween, no one cares, no one is talking about it, people are having parties and having a good laugh...

I think the UK is more progressive than your more puritanical cousins, the US. You certainly have much better insurance support for transition than we do (and I'm guessing your anti gender discrimination laws are better too), and I'm wondering if this makes a difference in how people in the UK generally see TSs, which then extends to CDs.

Also, the guys you speak of who get a good laugh at the Halloween parties ... are they dressing for real like the CDers here would be, or are they doing it on a lark with big inflated boobs, platinum wigs with beard showing, etc? Men in the US do this too and they also get laughs if it is obvious to others that they are making a parody of CDers.

[Eryn]

I think that we all go through similar experiences. At first we are scared to death that some random person might twig to our secret passion of CDing. We're so focused on it that we think that everyone is similarly focused. Later on we figure out that not everyone is playing "spot the CDer." and relax a bit.

I don't dress on Halloween simply because I don't want to do a "drag" portrayal. I prefer to dress normally and that doesn't make a good costume.

Wear a dress for Halloween and somebody is likely to say "Getting a little girly there, sport! Sure you aren't liking it too much?" If you respond with vehement denials you come off as insecure and suspect. Brush such questions off with humor and confidence "You're just jealous of me looking fabulous!" and you'll be fine.

[ReluctantDebutant]

At first I was going to wholeheartedly disagree with the OP based on my own experience going out fully in DRAG for Halloween. I went with a large group of friends to a public place. These friends have seen me go all out on my various wacky costumes in previous Halloweens. I guess I would have caught some suspicious eyes had I done this by myself out of the blue. I guess if one wants to go out but keep their closet secure establish a pattern of off the wall costumes for 2 or 3 Halloweens prior to going as a girl.

[Sarah L]

I dressed as a girl 3 years in a row. I have since told a number of people who saw me dressed up. Some of the people were surprised. They never would have guessed I was a crossdresser, even after seeing me in a skirt on more than one occasion. The one person who said they had already suspected, saw me dressed on a non halloween day outing. They saw me dressed in January, and they only suspected. You never know what goes through somebody else's minds. Just relax and get out if you want to and don't worry about it.

[KimberlyJean]

I am not going to agree or disagree, I am going to say that when I went out as a girl everything went just fine. I dressed as a bar wench (in a long dress not the short ones). My sister-in-law did my make-up. We went out to a party that was mostly people that my wife worked with, but I still knew alot of them. I have had a couple of comments over the years but nothing bad. This outing gave me the confidence to go out a few years later when it wasn't Halloween. I had a guy I didn't know come up to me and look really close, he didn't make up his mind I was a guy until I spoke to him. And prior to the party we stopped at a store to get drinks and I passed there too. It took me a while to put it together but now I can go out and pass pretty well, my confidence came from that Halloween.

[Sally24]

I have to disagree with the assumption that "normal" guys do not dress up at all. We have gone to a number of parties with males in female costumes. No one questioned if they were a CD. Boys in my school dressed up for plays. Many of us dressed for Greek week skits. And entertainers have done it forever! It's pretty common for boys and men to be interested in women's clothing and the whole "I wonder" thing. If you want to go out on Halloween, don't go as a female........go as a female character. Wonder Woman, Fairy Princess, Scarlett O'hara.........

And have fun!!

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think the first time you go out dressed on Halloween, no one will think you'e a crossdresser.

But, they will always remember the time you wore a girl costume, and if you dress as a girl a second time Anytime in Your lifetime, you'll be made.

You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.

[kimmy p]

Okay first of all. Whether it was meant to or not the original post came off rather strong. Secondly. I agree and disagree. If you dress fem once, or even occasionally then you may be alright. If you do it year after year like I do then you have 99% likely been made. Also, if you wear a feminine costume you have a good chance of someone catching on. My friends are not dumb, and this will be year 7 of nothing but female costumes for me. You know what, they are still my friends. No one has ever come out and asked if I was a CD, and I do not offer the info. As I see it I (publicly) do what I like to do once or twice per year at Halloween. It is no one else's business but that of my wife and mine. And as an example of how my friends think, both face to face and on FaceBook, I get messages through much of the year stating that they are anxiously waiting to see what I come up with next.

[27th Jennifer]

Well, you have to start somewhere.... ;)

[ReineD]

I don't dress on Halloween simply because I don't want to do a "drag" portrayal. I prefer to dress normally and that doesn't make a good costume.

My SO also lost the taste for dressing on Halloween. She felt that she was dishonoring herself in the sense that her feminine self is not a costume nor does she want to turn herself into a costume ... her feminine self is part of who she is internally.

[Sherlyn]

My SO also lost the taste for dressing on Halloween. She felt that she was dishonoring herself in the sense that her feminine self is not a costume nor does she want to turn herself into a costume ... her feminine self is part of who she is internally.
I do not understand this thinking at all...Di and I look forward to having a fun night out ...We are going as a Gatsby girl and a Flapper..I do not feel like I'm dishonouring myself by turning into a Flapper for a one night yearly celebration ..nor does Di ...:D..its just fun ...sometimes I swear some of you just get to deep down in the serious side of life over nothing ..wearing a costume on Halloween should just be fun ..Sher is Sher.... even on Halloween..... in a costume...no dishonour to myself ..:D !!!

[Marcelle]

I have to agree with Sherlyn and other on this one. If I am guy and I dress up like Superman/Batman/Zombie or whatever I am not dishonouring my "male side" I am still me costume or not. If I am Isha and I am dressing up as Supergirl / Catwoman / Female Zombie or whatever, I am not dishonoring my femme side any more than I am dishonouring my male side. I am still me costume or not.

If a GG dresses up in a female costume . . . is she dishonouring her female side/spirit . . . not likely . . . she is having fun and enjoying herself.

In the end, it is Halloween and it is supposed to be fun. What's next? I can't wear my sexy Female Elf outfit on Christmas because I am dishonouring the "female elf" side of me? :)

My two cents. :2c:

Hugs

Isha

[NicoleScott]

My SO also lost the taste for dressing on Halloween. She felt that she was dishonoring herself in the sense that her feminine self is not a costume nor does she want to turn herself into a costume ... her feminine self is part of who she is internally.

I don't get this thinking. I am a male internally. I don't see how dressing as a male character on Halloween (say, a pirate) dishonors my masculine self.
I could understand not wanting to go out on Halloween "as a woman", but why not as a character, male or female?
It's Halloween - it's about costumes and characters this one day of the year.

[darla_g]

I don't see the harm. Many, many years ago i got an invite to a Halloween party. I decided i wanted to go as a woman. I hadn't dressed prior to that time since i was a young teenager. My wife didn't think anything of it except that I was really, really into it.

We went to the party (yes there were people from work there). No one said i was gay, no one gave me a hard time, it was just fun.

Afterwards i announced to my wife that i wanted to dress again. At the point i got the inevitable GG questions that we all get : are you gay, do you want to become a woman, etc? and that was sort of my start with dressing somewhat regularly.

But my point is if you want to give it try Halloween is perfect! It may not be a salvation, not sure what she means by that. But i say if you want just go for it!

[Nicole Erin]

Men dressing as women on Halloween is not really a problem, regardless of if it's a campy outfit (ballerina) or "trying to pass and blend". Yeah sure some might think "Bill sure seems to pull it off well and know what he is doing" and MAYBE suspicious but ain't no one gonna make a big deal of it except maybe the NOSIEST pricks in the family or office who should be avoided anyways. Even then no one is gonna dwell on it.

Though it doesn't happen much on the CD forums, it is pretty sad that some CD have their own version of discrediting.
What next? Saying the GG's will out themselves as GG's if they dress like women and pass too well?
Or what about men who dress like men? Will they get accused of getting turned on by dressing in men's clothes?

[stacycoral]

I do not understand this thinking at all...Di and I look forward to having a fun night out ...We are going as a Gatsby girl and a Flapper..I do not feel like I'm dishonouring myself by turning into a Flapper for a one night yearly celebration ..nor does Di ...:D..its just fun ...sometimes I swear some of you just get to deep down in the serious side of life over nothing ..wearing a costume on Halloween should just be fun ..Sher is Sher.... even on Halloween..... in a costume...no dishonour to myself ..:D !!!

This statement by Sheryln needs to be repeated again, WAY TO GO GIRL!!!
:cheer::cheer:

[Brenda Freeman]

I love dressing up year around when I get the opportunity . When I was young about 11 I could not think of a costume to wear on halloween and really did not plan to go out and my mom wanted to dress me up as a girl. I wanted to so bad but was afraid what everyone else would think (there were a lot of bullies in my neighborhood). I have always regretted that, I would have loved to see how I would have looked fully dressed with make up at that age, I probably would have not gone out but missed the opportunuity, My mom always wanted a daughter It would have been fun. So today much older and wiser? I dress up in costumes near Halloween, french maid,witch, saloon girl for me. I usually go to a tgirl friendly party and have a ball! No bullies. Have been to a bar LGBT friendly) on Halloween as a frenchmaid had so much fun. I get what others have to say pros and cons to each her own, but for me Halloween is fun. I have not dressed up when I am home greeting tricker treaters, I love watching the smiles on their faces having FUN!

[Beverley Sims]

"What next? Saying the GG's will out themselves as GG's if they dress like women and pass too well?
Or what about men who dress like men? Will they get accused of getting turned on by dressing in men's clothes?"
A quote from Nicole that puts a different spread on things.
Food for thought there.

This thread makes interesting reading when you read what Reine has to say and Erin and Sherlyn's replies.
More food for thought.

[ReineD]

I do not understand this thinking at all...Di and I look forward to having a fun night out ...


I don't get this thinking. I am a male internally.

My SO just feels differently than you both do. Maybe being gender non-conforming (outside the gender binary) has something to do with it. My SO identifies as dualgender. So to her, her feminine presentation is not a costume, is all. This realization only came about 3 years after she began to go out in the mainstream and interacted with people while dressed. So she sort of feels as if she is betraying her feminine self when she treats the whole thing like a costume.

It's natural that not everyone is at the same place along the spectrum. :)

[docrobbysherry]

Sometimes I worry about u, Reine. Do u 2 ever really let go? Just blow it all out and really have fun?


--------------------------------------------
Also, the guys you speak of who get a good laugh at the Halloween parties ... are they dressing for real like the CDers here would be, or are they doing it on a lark with big inflated boobs, platinum wigs with beard showing, etc? Men in the US do this too and they also get laughs if it is obvious to others that they are making a parody of CDers.
I must disagree with u on this point. When vanilla men dress up as women it's to parody WOMEN. They aren't even thinking about CD's!

[ReineD]

Sherry, I stand to be corrected. I almost did edit my post to add "women" to that sentence. :p

As to blowing it off, isn't this a discussion forum where we are free to offer our opinions? On the other hand, all my life the people who know me have always thought me rather intense. I guess I'm just wired that way. But I do have fun at parties though! :)

[sometimes_miss]

I have to disagree with the assumption that "normal" guys do not dress up at all. We have gone to a number of parties with males in female costumes. No one questioned if they were a CD. Boys in my school dressed up for plays. Many of us dressed for Greek week skits. And entertainers have done it forever! It's pretty common for boys and men to be interested in women's clothing and the whole "I wonder" thing. If you want to go out on Halloween, don't go as a female........go as a female character. Wonder Woman, Fairy Princess, Scarlett O'hara.........And have fun!!
There's the pink fog rolling in. Because most of us here had desires and curiosities about female clothing, we want to believe that the feeling is universal among all boys. I don't think so. And perhaps no one ALOUD saig anything about suspecting if a guy who's in a girl costume has anything else going on, but they most likely suspected something. But just like wondering if some guy is the local serial killer, you don't blurt it out in public; but still, you wonder if maybe?


I think the first time you go out dressed on Halloween, no one will think you'e a crossdresser. But, they will always remember the time you wore a girl costume, and if you dress as a girl a second time Anytime in Your lifetime, you'll be made. You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.

It's because among straight males, wearing women's clothing is not done. Ever. It's simply not acceptable, and there's no valid reason that you can tell a person why a guy would want to wear a dress. None. None of 'the material is nicer', none of 'it feels better' will convince them. We can fool ourselves if we try hard enough and say it enough, but the public doesn't have this pink fog going on. So when they see it, they automatically wonder why he's doing this. From the moment we're self aware, boys are made to believe that being labeled as a sissy is the worst possible thing he can be. That alone, is a huge deterrent to any little boy from even considering putting on girl clothing. As he gets older and learns that being considered feminine is a sexual turn off to women, that's another huge deterrent. So when the general public sees a guy intentionally dressing up, and acting like a girl, they automatically wonder why. And, things being what they are, and the reason women dress up the way they do (to attract men), it will also be assumed that that guy is doing it for the same reason, whether he admits to it or not, and even then he's going to be assumed to be in denial about himself.

[Charlotte Haynes]

Totally disagree.....in my experience most men will dress in public as a woman at any oppurtunity....I think all men are actually closet CDers....ironically as a Cder I dont
As a fellow Englishman, I agree wholeheartedly with this...I've seen a decent proportion of my mates and acquaintances in female attire...I've done it twice (very sloppily mind you) but I didn't even equate it with my private dressing habit...I didn't feel that I was giving away any clues at all...

[ReineD]

I have to disagree with the assumption that "normal" guys do not dress up at all. We have gone to a number of parties with males in female costumes. No one questioned if they were a CD.

Sally, let me ask you a question. Do these males dress to blend or pass? I'll share an experience. We live in a college town and last Saturday my SO and I went out for pizza. Low and behold, about 20-25 young men who were being hazed for a fraternity walked and ran by, all dressed like women. They had all types of caricature outfits on, things that you would never, EVER see a woman wear. Some had wigs and some did not. The ones who had wigs were halfway falling off. The ones who had breasts were huge balloon type breasts. The ones who had makeup had painted their faces crudely, like dolls. They most definitely were not trying to present as women the way that CDers do here. It was all a parody for them, especially the ones with glitzy dresses and heels (which they were falling off of), boa scarves, with vivid makeup and no wig and a beard.

I think that men who dress like this have a hoot at Halloween parties and I think that everyone knows they are men having fun. But a CDer who dresses to blend and pass? This is a whole nuther class of "costume". I'm not sure, but I think the OP referenced the type of CDing that most people here engage in, who are not trying to parody anyone, even if they show up in a well thought out, elaborate Halloween character or period costume.

[MsRenee]

Halloween has never been a favorite holiday for me since my mothers passing 20 yrs ago.
Now I choose to express myself as much as possible being outside and just living life.
Some that are not so brave. just be careful and safe and if you feel like they will see thru your costume then it is up to you to say what ever you feel like.
Usually and Halloween you shouldnt have to explain your costume. Trust me being out here in Vegas Ive seen alot and it takes alot to shock this girl.
Now if you ever wanna see some sigts you need to come out and see the Fetish and Fantasy ball.
Hugs
Renee

[Jenniferathome]

...I think that men who dress like this have a hoot at Halloween parties and I think that everyone knows they are men having fun. But a CDer who dresses to blend and pass? This is a whole nuther class of "costume". I'm not sure, but I think the OP referenced the type of CDing that most people here engage in, who are not trying to parody anyone, even if they show up in a well thought out, elaborate Halloween character or period costume.

Ding, ding, ding... we have a winner! 106 replies says a lot about the subject matter.

[Jacqueline Winona]

Reine, I might agree with you if people were trying and actually could blend. But for the vast majority of us that isn't going to happen. Just tell them you really wanted to try to make it real, have supreme confidence in yourself, and laugh at yourself and I don't think most of us would have much to worry about. There will always be some people who think it might be too real, but I suspect most will forget about you in a few weeks unless they're looking at photos, and think more about who you present as the other 364 days. Life moves quickly, people move on, etc.

[NathalieX66]

Wow! This thread is serious business. Holy Cow!
Want advice? Put some effort into your presentation.....you will be respected and rewarded.

I decided I'm not doing Halloween this year. I'm pretty much girl most of the time, except for work, and there are no more secrets, except for work, and that's just how it is. My family knows, my fiends know. And I haven't been eaten by anti-transgender monsters yet.

[Sophie_C]

Honestly, most people are so into themselves, they really don't put much thought into things that don't affect themselves. At least, that's how it is where I live. I know a guy, actually a close friend of mine, who crossdressed one Halloween. It was a bit strange, but when it was over, no one cared. Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't? I'm too busy living my life to care.

[Charlotte Haynes]

Reine, I might agree with you if people were trying and actually could blend. But for the vast majority of us that isn't going to happen. Just tell them you really wanted to try to make it real, have supreme confidence in yourself, and laugh at yourself and I don't think most of us would have much to worry about. There will always be some people who think it might be too real, but I suspect most will forget about you in a few weeks unless they're looking at photos, and think more about who you present as the other 364 days. Life moves quickly, people move on, etc.A very sensible reply there. The OP appears to be a bit of a killjoy...or paranoid.

[carolynn2fem]

While I see validity in everyone's opinion I just want to have fun.
A comment I heard once at a costume party. what ever the costume. it reveals something about the wearer.

[Marcelle]

Really . . . Seriously. I'll say it again . . . IT'S HALLOWEEN and it is suppose to be fun. There is way too much soul searching on this subject. I get it, some people don't want to dress-up "en femme" because they pass/blend/live whatever as a woman . . . good for you. I would have to agree as I am not about to go out on Halloween dressed in my regular clothes and say . . . "Hey I'm a guy for Halloween". This is not because I feel I am betraying my masculine soul or side of me, it is because it doesn't make sense from a Halloween perspective. So for you it doesn't make sense because you can pass/blend live whatever as a woman. I respect your decision . . . go forth and sin no more.

However, in the sense of fairness for those of us who cannot pass/blend/live whatever as a woman, please provide the same courtesy without getting all wrapped up in "my way or the highway" mentality. My goodness it is like getting advice from reformed smokers. Perhaps some of you have forgotten (because you have been doing it so long) just how hard it is to want to present publicly and feel you can't for whatever reason. Believe me, all the "just do it because lots of us have and survived" rhetoric will not help (more likely to hinder) until you are ready. Surely you must remember this yourself?

The one question I will ask the naysayers is "Early in your CD exploration, did you ever go out for Halloween en femme (female character or just a woman)? If so, why? If you answered yes, then I don't see why you have make it a negative just because you leaped a great hurdle in life and are now out and about foot loose and fancy free.

This might be the one time in the year that some of us feel we have a fighting chance to just be out there for who we are. It also might be the catalyst for more trips into the sun. Isn't that a good thing? We can't all be as lucky as some of you - so please don't rain on our parade. If we get read and someone says the next day "Hey I think you are gay or a tranny" then we'll have to deal with it. That's life we all make our own choices and have to live by them . . . guy or girl

My two cents

Hugs

Isha

[Ressie]

These kind of threads make it clear that we're all coming from a different place. Our unique experiences add up to a prism we look thru or a paradigm. Some of us have been laughed at or ridiculed while others have never had any problems regarding dressing shopping, acceptance etc. Some of us are afraid to tell anyone that we dress, while others are way beyond that. If you're afraid of being outed for dressing on halloween, wear the same vampire costume you wore last year or stay home like you did last year. Or face your fears and take a chance.

[Tamara Croft]

It's like we've acquired the Halloween police.... seriously, get real, it's Halloween, people dress up, it's not about passing or blending in, it's about standing out, who can create the best costume.. it's NOTHING TO DO WITH CDING....... so you naysayers and holier than thou Halloween police, try getting out more, you seriously lead sheltered lives if you think Halloween is not going to help you get out... of course it is :rolleyes: IT'S A HOLIDAY... omg...

[~Joanne~]

Isha really nailed this whole conversation with her post (#113). I couldn't have said it better if I really tried. No one here started their CDing and jumped right out the door. No one. If you say you did, your lying to yourself and Us. Halloween is that one day of the year that we all can experience being out dressed. why try to convince other sister's that what they are doing is wrong, that they shouldn't do it, or that their world will end the next day? I only hope that any girl here that just wants to get out there for that one day where it shouldn't matter does. if not you'll wait a whole year just to hear the same BS again.

[Tamara Croft]

So let's be done with the bs and close the thread, it's ran its' course anyway.... There will always be a few that try and ruin it for others, maybe you naysayers should try getting a life...

Thread done!