Reflections....

[Lady Catherine]

Well, it's been about a year since I came out to my Fiancee. (Now my wife.) She was more accepting at the time then I thought she would be, much to my relief. We have been shopping together and she has surprised me with things. It has been a good year. I have since come out to two of my three kids (The third only because I have not seen him in person, not for lack of trust) and their spouses, and two of my step-kids. All have been very supportive.

No one around me has made a deal over my changes in appearance. Both ears pierced now three holes each. (I want four) I have shaved off my beard and keep my legs shaved all the time. I keep my nails longer (except when they break from work) and my toenails are almost always purple. I've also started shaping my eyebrows. They are light and I really don't think it's noticeable.

I have developed the feeling that I really don't care who finds out. I feel like it would be better if the whole world knew. However, my wife is not comfortable telling people. She says she doesn't want to have to defend me if some one said something bad about me and she is afraid she would make a scene if it came up. I respect her wishes, but I really don't care if I out myself and find myself leaving the house with mascara on or nail polish and such.

As I reflect back on my life, (I recently suffered a minor stroke) I find that I do not regret any of the things I have DONE, only things I have left UNDONE. Now I consider myself bi-gender. I am equally happy however I am presenting, but find myself unhappy that I can't present as a woman as much as I would like to. I feel it is time for another long talk with my wife to try and figure things out. I hope she continues to understand and can support my need to get out in the world more often.

I would like to thank all of you here on this forum. I don't always post a reply, but I read a lot of the posts and replies here and they have helped me through some issues and foggy feelings.

Thanks for listening. Peace.

[reb.femme]

Hi Catherine,

Your recollections of the past year resonated with me as it is very near to my own story. I've been out to my wife for 18 months, she buys me femme things, my arms and legs are permanently shaved and my eyebrows are plucked thin. In fact, whilst out for a meal tonight my wife said I should trim my nails unless I want to "give the game away".

Nothing compared to a stroke by any measure, but shortly after I came out to my wife, I had a major issue with my auto immune system which has left me with quite deep scarring. I am also at the point where I couldn't care less if the world found out about me but do not do so for my wife. Your story reads much like a mirror of mine.

I sincerely hope that the stroke has left no permanent issues for you as I've seen one family member suffer such a debilitation. Glad that you have found a peace with yourself in whichever gender you present and I certainly empathise with wanting to present as female on a more regular basis, but I have to consider my wife on that one. I have always been open to the possibility of parallel lives in alternate universes but parallel lives on the same planet is a little spooky.

Rebecca

[Beverley Sims]

Catherine,
All I can say do what you have been doing and as long as you present well enough without drawing ridicule to yourself you should enjoy a happy lifestyle.
It is always good to respect your wife's wishesand the "I don't care" attitude is quite wrong.
Make life a challenge and interesting.
Don't bring unnecessary trouble and worry on to yourself.