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Frédérique
09-20-2013, 12:42 PM
“Do you do it for the STORY?” (Dave Attell)

Yeah, I did it for the story. This is the kind of thing I’m supposed to write about, isn’t it? I can’t be pitting member against member ALL the time, can I? Goodness knows I have to be a good citizen of the community I’m allegedly a part of...

Anyway, it was a lot cooler this morning, so I decided to do one of those longed-for patented CD excursions whilst dressed, hopefully before I lost my nerve. Being a closeted crossdresser who could conceivably go out is like having all of the ingredients to bake cookies, and then not even bothering to turn the oven on! I thought I could walk to the post office a few blocks away and mail a few things, including a bill or two. If I’m crossdressed, I thought to myself, maybe I could divert my mind away from my ever-dwindling resources. Perfect! The proverbial die was cast...

I got dressed upstairs. My sister was asleep. I chose a longer-than-usual tartan skirt, kind of a dull magenta color as seen from a distance, a white blouse, a cropped sweater (it was actually cool enough for that), some knee-high nylons (I’m not all that nuts about pantyhose), some truly unmentionable unmentionables, and my usual flats. My wig was snug to my head, all wisps under control, using a silk scarf to accomplish that Herculean task. A little light makeup, ditto lipstick, and some barely noticeable earrings completed my outfit. Once attired, I grabbed my mail and headed out the front door...

Of course, living in a town like this, in this part of Kansas, at this particular point in time, I stick out like a sore thumb! Nobody bothers to dress up in these here parts, so my general appearance, as well as my penchant for swimming against the conformist tide, WILL draw some attention (I assume). Hopefully nobody would be around. I walked about a block, passing in front of a large church, smiling, trying not to “lope” like a male. I took my time, making small steps, raising my head and looking all around at the nature I’m a part of. My flimsy flats were a bit impractical for walking – I could feel every bump in the sidewalk, but, for some reason, this was rather exhilarating...

I kept going, towards downtown, which consists of a roughly 1 x 2 block area. Around me, I saw a few people coming and going, or doing some yard work, but nobody looked my way. Actually, I think one guy did look at me for a second – how often do you see a woman wearing a skirt these days, let alone a man doing it? COOL! Improbability was on my side. I made steady progress towards my goal, walking down a side street, feeling better every step of the way. I thought to myself that I really should do this more often – as usual, my femme clothes created a kind of breathtaking exhilaration out of thin air...

At last, I made it to the post office. I walked up the steps, went inside, and put my bills (and etc.) in the appropriate slot. I turned to go back outside, and a man was coming in. He saw me and held the door open, like a gentleman. I thanked him in my best approximation of a femme voice, and skipped out the door. If he did a double-take, or perhaps a triple-take, I didn’t see it! Back out in the sunshine, on the sidewalk, I had a choice to make – do I waltz through downtown, bold as brass, or do I keep to the alleys? I felt emboldened, so I actually walked another block to the south, procrastinated a bit, then turned and headed for Main Street...

A man sitting in a lawn chair waved to me. I waved back. What’s a nice boy/girl like you doing in a place like this? Good question, in fact I kept asking myself exactly what I thought I was doing! Soon I was walking where my drab male self usually walks, but in my precious (and secretive) chosen costume. Past the library, where they know me. Past City Hall, where they REALLY know me. EEK! I came to the big painted circle in the intersection, where the Swedish dancers will be doing their collective “thing” in two week’s time, one of the few occasions when the females WILL wear skirts (you know, for old time’s sake). I felt very vulnerable all of a sudden, trembling a bit...

I crossed the street, passing in front of the bank, where they know me, and the barber shop, where three people know my head intimately. The hardware store is right across the street, and I could see my barber coming out the front door! I hurried along, paying close attention to HOW I was walking, eventually reaching the next side street. Across the way, at the Swedish emporium, I could see several tourists milling about. I didn’t want my intensely private ramble to interfere with their enjoyment of the town (I have to consider THIS community as well, you know), so I walked one block to the west, back to the street I live on. This brought me to another quandary...

Now I had to walk past the elementary school! The kids were in school, and thankfully not playing in the playground, so I swiftly made my way down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. One of the town’s four policemen was sitting in his cruiser not too far away, but he was too preoccupied to notice me. Whew! At times like this I run potential questions and answers through my mind, which, as if by magic, makes it all NOT happen! Once I was past the school zone, I could breathe easier, lift up my eyes and enjoy being alive again. I made it home in one piece, my neighbors never saw me, and I had a splendid time, all things considered...

Next to some people, my crossdressing life is very small, a series of modest adventures whereby the mundane is transformed into something truly magical. I don’t HAVE to go out dressed, but I do it from time to time just for the thrill of it, or to make me feel more like I belong here, on a site where crossdressers relate their experiences. My life is pretty dull by comparison, but I do like to get out from time to time. I think the desire to crossdress fuels the subsequent desire to push the proverbial envelope and try risky things, but I know my limits. I’m happy just to do a little bit of something, and not try to instill myself as the local CD “fixture.” It’s fun to live here, in my little Kansas town. I can’t help but wonder if someone is saying, “Hey, did you see that guy in the skirt this morning?” right about now! Maybe I didn’t “pass,” but I had a little (cheap) fun...

Thanks for reading. I’m doing what I can, under the circumstances, but I did it (mainly) for the story...:heehee:

PS – This post is dedicated to my buddy Marleena, who “doesn’t know what to do with me.” :idontknow:

PaulaQ
09-20-2013, 01:16 PM
Congrats Freddy - it took some courage to walk around such a small town. Lotsa folks probably can't relate to that, but I can.

carhill2mn
09-20-2013, 01:40 PM
Good for you "Freddy"! It is amazing how exhilerating a little walk can be!

The "good news" is that most people "see" only what their brain is expecting to see; ie; a woman wearing a skirt out walking.
It would be unusual for someone to closely examine you under these circumstances.

Michelle789
09-20-2013, 01:49 PM
Freddy, you have more courage than I do, I live in Los Angeles and am afraid to go out... and I live in a decent area too, not the riot country gangland.

Congrats :) :D :thumbsup:


my neighbors never saw me

I have to get over my fear of my neighbors seeing me, especially the two neighbors (both female) I'm actually friends with, and the manager who's parking spot is right next to mine.

bobbimo
09-20-2013, 01:55 PM
Yea Freddy.
I bet your on top of the world! You should post some pics next time!
Bobbi

paulaprimo
09-20-2013, 01:58 PM
congrats to you freddy, great story! i love your humor :)

Beverley Sims
09-20-2013, 02:11 PM
A unique Frédérique getting out story.
Same as everyone else but a different writing style.

Stephanie47
09-20-2013, 02:32 PM
Congratulations Freddy! The few times that I, also a closeted cross dresser, have ventured out into the world has been in the early evening. And, to boot (or is that heels?) in the cool misty rain or worse. An umbrella and raincoat (open in front to allow the cool breeze to play with my pretty dress) do wonders in keeping other humanoids sequestered in their homes, while I muster the courage to feel what I may have been missing. Alas, this is the best I can do, since being six foot and 190 pounds does increase the possibility someone may see more to my shape than I want.

ReineD
09-20-2013, 02:36 PM
Congratulations, Freddy, I'm glad you enjoyed the experience!

Seana Summer
09-20-2013, 02:49 PM
Freddy I always enjoy your posts and I really appreciate the thought you put into them. My apologizes for not responding to them more often.

Most Sincerely
Seana

Jorja
09-20-2013, 02:51 PM
Ok, it's great that you manged to get out and have a nice experience and all but try making that same trip in a cute little bikini. Just for the story you know. ;)

vikki2020
09-20-2013, 05:37 PM
Happy for you ,Freddie! Sounds like you thoroughly enjoyed the outing. I can try to imagine how it would be, if I lived in a small town---has to be that much harder. For all of their problems, big cities do work out well, for girls like us!

Marleena
09-20-2013, 05:55 PM
PS – This post is dedicated to my buddy Marleena, who “doesn’t know what to do with me.” :idontknow:

Oh Freddy you shouldn't have!:o

I hope you know the ramifications of posting a thread like this because it's so not like you.:heehee: I don't think it will get as much action as your previous threads. It was however very well written as usual. I find it refreshing and a nice change of pace. Your writing skills shine through again.:thumbsup:

Tracii G
09-20-2013, 06:05 PM
Sounds like a wonderful experience Freddy.

franlee
09-20-2013, 06:14 PM
Freddy you wrote so much of what I felt and still do. Along with a pretty good description of the process I still go through going outside into the possible view and contact with others. I can't say or tell you anything to help because we each travel this road on our own pace and to what ever end we have the energy and resolve to go. All I will add is it sounds as if you had a positive experience that should prove you are capable. So please don't cheat yourself and regret what you might have done later. I know I feel this regret now that my age and body restrict my activities and appearance. Thanks for sharing not only this but so many insights that you write with evident conviction and passion.

reb.femme
09-20-2013, 06:26 PM
Nice to read a post that is both interesting and honest, if not self-deprecating in part with tongue placed firmly in cheek. :)

I too love your writing style. You conveyed an image that was so easy to be with and to almost experience the moment with you. Of course, we all now expect the obligatory picture post. Chances? :heehee:

Note to self - get sorry butt out on the street in Frederique style. I get out now and again but have spent the last two weeks of annual holiday, taking days out with the wife :), unfortunately en drab. :sad:

Rebecca

Marleena
09-20-2013, 07:21 PM
Freddy does have amazing writing skills, it was like I took that walk with her and felt it. That's a gift.

Frédérique
09-20-2013, 11:07 PM
I hope you know the ramifications of posting a thread like this because it's so not like you. I don't think it will get as much action as your previous threads.

Maybe it was intentional, eh? I’m still finding my way around here, you know…:heehee:

Marleena
09-20-2013, 11:22 PM
Okay..

I'm intentionally telling you I like this. Very nicely written:)

DianeDeBris
09-20-2013, 11:54 PM
Dear Freddy - courage, wit, charm - well done, on so many levels! Hugs - Diane

Cynthia Anne
09-21-2013, 01:20 AM
Truly a beautiful story! Thank you Frederique for Filling my mind with such happiness that I can sleep with! Hope you have a wonderful night too! Hugs and good night!!

AmyGaleRT
09-21-2013, 01:26 AM
Frédérique, that was a wonderful story! Doesn't it feel great to be a "liberated woman"? I may have it easier than you (in a bigger city where CDs seem to be fairly well tolerated), but I had many of the same jitters when I first went out...and now look at me! :) Being a lady is enjoyable, and you should enjoy it whenever you can!

- Amy

Persephone
09-21-2013, 03:39 AM
Way to go, Frédérique!

Let's see, three barbers, one unknown man at the post office, one guy in a lawn chair, one librarian, the Mayor, a few tourists, one of the four policemen, and the teacher of the local elementary shool. From what I know about your town the only two citizens you missed were the fireman and your sister! And that was only because they were both napping!

Very elated for you!

Oh, and on another note, I just noticed that Mushroom State Park is about halfway between my beloved Kansas Rock City and your place. You never told me about it and I've never seen it! Looks like I'll have to make another trip to Kansas!

Hugs,
Persephone.

jennyluvly
09-21-2013, 04:39 AM
Wonderful experience!! Hope you'll have more outings in the nearest future.

Shari
09-21-2013, 06:05 AM
Freddy, always enjoy your posts.
Great read. I was walking alongside you the whole time.
Although it turned out well for you, I'm still filled with anxiety from the point where you decided to walk the extra block. I was certain something bad was going to happen.
Whew!

Deedee Skyblue
09-21-2013, 06:16 AM
Today, Smallville in Kansas, tomorrow Hingham, then... the WORLD!

Deedee ;)

Marcelle
09-21-2013, 06:38 AM
Hi Freddy,

Thoroughly enjoyed your latest post . . . they are always a joy to read :)

Ah, what a writer will do for her art.

My hat (if I wore one) is off to you sweetie. That takes a lot of courage to walk around a small town where you are known. Love the fact that the guy opened the door for you. :battingeyelashes:

Hugs

Isha

kimdl93
09-21-2013, 07:38 AM
That was quite an excursion. I'm not sure I could find the courage to walk dressed around my small home town...not even for a story!

Alice Torn
09-21-2013, 10:34 AM
Congrats! You sound so much like me, when I seldom go out. I could have wrote it!

MysticLady
09-21-2013, 10:38 AM
YAY Freddie. Good job Girlie. I'm very happy for you.

Brenda Freeman
09-21-2013, 11:16 AM
Thanks for sharing your adventure! I enjoyed reading it, well written I felt like I was there with you! I live in Portland Oregon a much larger town, I occasionally go out and find it fun once I get going. I am not sure I would be able to do what you did in such a small town. Congrats and again a good read!
Brenda

Frédérique
09-21-2013, 12:06 PM
Let's see, three barbers, one unknown man at the post office, one guy in a lawn chair, one librarian, the Mayor, a few tourists, one of the four policemen, and the teacher of the local elementary school. From what I know about your town the only two citizens you missed were the fireman and your sister! And that was only because they were both napping! Very elated for you!

It certainly helps to live in a SMALL town! I only missed seeing some Bethany College students, but, since the college and the town don’t get along too well, seeing some is highly problematic. The mayor is a woman, BTW, and a rather conservative-looking one at that...


Oh, and on another note, I just noticed that Mushroom State Park is about halfway between my beloved Kansas Rock City and your place. You never told me about it and I've never seen it! Looks like I'll have to make another trip to Kansas!

MRSP is not much to write home about, I’m afraid. I’ve been there exactly once, way back when, although I’ve driven past it a few times. There’s a few lonely rocks covered with graffiti, some of them leaning against trees, plus a few Rock City-type concretions stranded in a field, all in less than one square acre. A picnic table has been provided for any adventurous souls...


Today, Smallville in Kansas, tomorrow Hingham, then... the WORLD!

Yeah, that reminds me – I couldn’t do this when I lived in Hingham, MA! I had to go way out of town, preferably MAINE, to walk around completely unfettered in my 100% femme splendor...


That was quite an excursion. I'm not sure I could find the courage to walk dressed around my small home town...not even for a story!

I had a pretty good idea what to expect all along the way, since I had “scouted” my surroundings for years on end. There will never be a lot of people around on any given day, since everyone is DOING something. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen anybody loitering, but this is not a densely populated area by any stretch of the imagination. Oddly enough, a few minutes after I got back to my home, a teacher with a gaggle of young school children passed by, going towards downtown, right where I had just been! I took a calculated risk, and (luckily) it worked...
:whew!:

docrobbysherry
09-21-2013, 01:21 PM
I rarely have the patience to read thru your posts top to bottom, Freddie. However, I just had to this time. As your subject matter is such a sensitive issue for me!

I know EXACTLY how u felt as u walked out and around. Wondering who saw u and what they mite have thot? Feeling the adreneline rush as u walked? Well, good for u!

Now, u must decide if u wish to repeat the experience. Many of us closet dressers say, "No". Do I enjoy dressing to blend? In clothes I normally wouldn't be caught dead in? Stressed beyond belief knowing there's not a chance in hell I could pass with even one person that sees my face? Go out in vanilla land dressed? Not for me, Freddie!

But, if u enjoyed the experience, you'll eventually do it again and again. And, some day it will feel less exciting and dramatic. Whether u do or not, I applaud your bravery! I would no more go out dressed in the area I live in, (population 200,000+), than I would walk down main street at mid day naked!

You've got 10 times the huevos I have!

Barbara Ella
09-21-2013, 01:55 PM
Fantastique Frederique!

You confirm a belief I have that every individual has their own limit for whatever their situation. The thrill, or angst, or whatever, depending on what is being attempted, that one gets by walking up to their limit is very much the same as what another individual feels when living at their limit. The actual seriousness of the activity is irrelevant to the thrill/satisfaction level. It is the ramification of the activity that will differ.

But we are talking about an activity, and the sense of accomplishment derived from that activity. You truly appear to have enjoyed and prospered (you got the story) from your lovely excursion. I think you got a bit more than just a story.

Enjoy.

Barbara

Veronica27
09-22-2013, 03:53 PM
A beautifully written story. It provides the inspiration to venture outside of my own closet, and try to turn my own dull boring crossdressing adventures into fascinating tales. The challenge is converting inspiration into inclination.

Veronica