(Not so) helpful SAs

[Stephy]

I just went to the Surf, Ski and Dive shop to have a look at their ladies swimwear. While I was browsing the SA came up and nudged me and said jokingly in a loud voice - that purple one would look really good on you. Not knowing how to react, I just smiled and chuckled. Then she said - so really who are you shopping for? By now some other ladies had turned to look, so I just said it was for my wife. She said it was really bold of me to go bikini shopping for my wife. I tried to carry on browsing, but soon she was back asking how the bikini shopping was going. I decided just to leave. I was irritated with her but also at myself. I should probably have just said "thank-you" when she jokingly said the purple bikini would look good on me. But there may have been an awkward moment when she realised I was serious. And the other shoppers would have probably been freaked out. What would you have done?

[Michelle13]

I know you may think that you gained the special attention of the SA because you were shopping for ladies swimwear, but the reality of the situation is that almost all clothing and apparel stores these days have sales quotas and SAs are forced to be pushy with sales in order to not get lecturings, write-ups and potentially fired for missing quotas.

This happens in basically any brand name store these days. :/

[suchacutie]

I would thank her for the compliment and see where she went with it. If she continued to be a pain I would mention that her role was to be helpful if she wanted me to spend any money :)

[Beverley Sims]

When that does happen to me I agree and say I have one another color that does not suit and I am looking for something in my style.
"Then I take it from there".
With surprising results sometimes. :)

[Rachel Morley]

I decided just to leave. I was irritated with her but also at myself. I should probably have just said "thank-you" when she jokingly said the purple bikini would look good on me. But there may have been an awkward moment when she realised I was serious ..... What would you have done?
Ah yes, I have been in a similar situation many times. Do we "fess up" and say "actually yes it is for me" and risk potential negativity or do we play safe and say it's for our SO? I have to say in my case, a couple of times I did say I was shopping for myself but (sadly?) the majority of the time I have chickened out and said I was shopping for a birthday present for my SO.

I think the SA said that she thought the purple one would look good on you just as a joke as she felt you were likely not to be offended and that you would then participate in friendly banter which (she hoped) would lead to a sale. That my 2 cents ... for what it's worth.

[Cynthia Anne]

Next time just say ''do you really think so''!! ''May I try it on''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Barbara Maria]

I'd have done exactly the same as you did.I once had a SA comment on what a pretty top I was buying and just said"I'm sure she'll love it".I just smiled and agreed,but I forgot to mention that "she" was me!

[Aaron Zwidling]

You could say something like "I'm not sure that color suits my skin tones" and then either act like it was a joke or act like you were serious depending on her response. A reply like that commits you a lot less than a "can I try it on" response.

[Rogina B]

No idea of what you look like..however..If you have a body that belongs in a bikini,then you shouldn't be shy about it,and been up front in your reply to the SA. If you were just imagining yourself in one,then perhaps non committal answers suit the situation best. If you were really going to buy then and there,it really shouldn't matter how many others the SA involves...you just go for what YOU want to spend your money on,no matter what. By the sounds of it,trying it on would have also involved a discussion about "having undergarments on,etc" and then the SA could have "her perverted fantasy seed planted" and it would go from there. If you want something,there is no backing away....

[kimdl93]

I might have responded, in all sincerity, "Do you really think so?" I'm long since past feeling embarrassed about shopping for myself.

[CarlaWestin]

Yea, I've got a lot of these stories. My favorite is the prune face, sneering cashier at Walmart that arrogantly commented, "was I sure the 6-pack of panties were my size?"
My reply was, "Oh, they're not for me. I'm meeting your husband later."

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stephy, Your biggest mistake was letting the SA take control of the situation.

[Launa]

I've had these things happen to me before and in the years past I have told the SA's that I'm shopping for my wife.

Now when it happens I come right out and say its for me. I was in "CD unfriendly" high end consignment store a couple years ago with my wife right when I wanted to start going out in public, we browsed the racks, picked out a couple of things and stood in the busy line up to pay. When we got to the counter the Cow that was running the till asked my wife if these clothes were for her. She said no they are for him! That was awesome!

[stefan37]

I think you should have stepped out of your comfort zone and told her it is for me. The only to get comfortable shopping for yourself is to do it. Yes there will be uncomfortable moments and people may look at you strange, but after a while your confidence will deflect any undue stares and it will be a non-issue. If the SA makes a big deal out of then I would take my money elsewhere.

[Barbra P]

Hi Stephy

I don’t know much about you, like where you live or your age – although I did see a photo of you I couldn’t tell your approximate age. I read where you mentioned that your wife found your stash and isn’t happy with your dressing. If I told your story to my Therapist (Kelly) I know pretty much how the conversation would go.
Kelly: “Does this SA know you? Is she likely to tell your Wife that you’re looking at women’s bathing suits? From previous discussions you know crossdressing is nothing to be ashamed of so why were you embarrassed to tell the SA that the swim suit was for you?”
Me: “Well some other ladies had turned to look.”
Kelly: “Do you know any of the other ladies? Are any of the other ladies likely to know you and your Wife? Since you don’t know these ladies why do you care what they think?”

However I know firsthand and understand that having a wife that doesn’t approve affects how we view other people and how we perceive how they view us. If the person we love most in this world doesn’t approve of our crossdressing then how can other people approve? If the person I love disapproves and thinks it’s wrong than other people will also think it is wrong. I think it is much easier for those of us who have supporting wives, especially proactive wives. I know the few times my Wife or Daughter went shopping with me for women’s clothing I felt entirely different in the store talking to the SA’s then when I go alone. It makes a huge difference to have someone there supporting you as opposed to the feeling that you are sneaking around behind your Wife’s back doing something you know she doesn’t approve of. Shopping en femme is even more liberating, “Look at how I’m dressed – of course the dress is for me – why would you even ask?”

[Janet Bern]

I generally say "I am not so sure if it is my size"
this opens a lot of avenues for further discussions and
usually ends up with the SA helping you and trying on items

[sandra-leigh]

Last few times I went swimwear shopping, I simply made it clear that I was shopping for myself. There was no problem at all, including no problem trying the items on.

[DonnaT]

I'd have responded, "Ha, I wish!"

[sallyjones]

If you look them in the eye and say"Im buying this for me." Alot of times they become more friendly and helpful. I know it makes you feel weird but what are you there for anyways..Its not easy but if you accept yourself it becomes alot easier. If you get a good response you have a new shop to shop at..

[Stephy]

No idea of what you look like..however..If you have a body that belongs in a bikini,then you shouldn't be shy about it,and been up front in your reply to the SA. If you were just imagining yourself in one,then perhaps non committal answers suit the situation best. If you were really going to buy then and there,it really shouldn't matter how many others the SA involves...

Well, I don't exactly have a perfect bikini body, and don't have any illusions that I could pass in one, but I am still hopeful that I might find one that doesn't look too ridiculous on me, and would buy it, even if only to wear in the privacy of my house or yard or maybe a secluded beach far from home... I will either have to try my luck buying one, or ask to try it on - they usually have a "no returns" policy for swimwear. I would likely have more success shopping en femme, but unfortunately that's not an option at the moment due to my wife's lack of acceptance.

[~Joanne~]

My answer would have depended on the mood I was in. Some days I care and some days I don't but after being nosey and finding her help wasn't needed, she should have moved on.