My first time CDing in public! :)

[Michelle13]

So I know there's thousands of these stories here already, and mine's nothing too special, but I just want to share. :)

So my amazing and loving girlfriend who's VERY understanding of my CDing (and in fact loves it, and is ATTRACTED to me as a girl also since she's bi) went out in public with me lastnight because a series of conditions were met and the time seemed right. My gf as I said is fine with me dressing, she's just still in the closet about being bi and is the type to worry about what people would think about my CDing (as am I, honestly) so she doesn't want anyone to find out. And she knows A LOT of people in this city so it's hard to ever go out and not run into someone she knows. I had never gone out dressed up in public before this night.

But lastnight, as I said, a series of conditions were met.
- It was late, like past midnight so the streets were mostly empty
- The duplex neighbours were away on vacation
- I was already dressed up
- We were both hungry and didn't want to cook. lol

So we left the house in our car, we avoided me personally interacting with anyone to be safe as we were both also nervous yet excited to be doing this. So we drove to an open late pizza place, I dropped her off at the door and she went in by herself to pick up our order that was made online previously and I parked in the parking lot a few spaces over from another car with two girls in it.

They didn't suspect a thing and didn't pay me any special attention. Neither did the other few late night bar goers and other pedestrians we drove past or parked near. I guess when you over-think things, you worry that everyone's going to know you're a CDer and point, stare, and call you out. Even though my gf admits I pass as a girl fully (visually anyway), and that night she was especially impressed with my outfit and makeup.

We're both less anxious about going out in public with my CDing now, especially her! :) I think she too realized that no one's going to call me out on possibly being a guy, especially when even she knows I pass and she KNOWs I'm a guy. lol I hope we get to go out again soon, maybe do something that's not so sheltered, but to do it we may have to make a roadtrip to another city. :P And I need to work on my girl voice I think. lol Once I do that we could likely go shopping and everything without a hitch.

Do you all think it's generally "safer" to go out in public with your gf/SO? I always had it in my head that people are less likely to spot a CDer if they're with someone else, because people with negative stereotypes always seem to think we're weird or freaks, and seeing someone that may flag as potentially "not right" in their eyes out with another person is likely to dismiss some sub-concious thoughts about that person being a CDer. Sort of like "well they're with that other person and they're treating them completely normal, they must just be a slightly manly chick or something". lol

Does that theory make sense to anyone else? :P

[heatherdress]

Michelle - Thanks for sharing your story. It seems that you had a very good experience. I first want to say how lucky you are to have a gf who accepts you, supports you and has fun with you.
I think you need to progress slowly with your "adventures" and enjoy them. I think you will learn what feels comfortable and what is enjoyable. You will find most people do not care what you wear. It is understandable that you both want to keep your CDing discrete from neighbors and friends. You will figure that out. Maybe you could go on short trips - and dress as you want to. My only comment would be about safety. Going out anywhere late at night anywhere is a safety concern. Be smart and be careful. I do think you are lucky to have your gf to go out with and you should enjoy your experiences. Good luck and have fun.

[Rachelakld]

Nice story.
Again with safety, I tend to only go out during normal family times (ie when the sun is up) as blokes get a bit stroppy and lippy and brave after a few drinks. I'm sure a few would want your women to experience a "real man" when they in fight mode.
I would recommend café / art galleries / cinemas etc, but that's just how I like to be out

[Beverley Sims]

You will less likely to be noticed going out with company in the early hours of the evening.
Dress casual and look through the malls, have a snack at one of the stalls. around six and you should be fine.
Late at night is not a good time you only arouse interest as to why two girls are out so late.
When you gain confidence daylight is okay then.

[Jackie7]

In my experience it is both safest and funniest to be out with a girlfriend or GG partner. Of course go out wherever and whenever two sensible ladies would do.

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Michelle,

Well first off OMG!!! :confused2: ... you are soooo going to have such a fabulous time in your near future. How do I know? Well I feel I am married to THE most accepting, encouraging and participating woman in the world and yes, just like yours she is VERY understanding of my CDing and in fact actually likes me to be this way (my wife hates manly men) so take it from me, if things happen to you the way they happened for me you are going to have so many wonderful "experiences of life" going out as "two girls" with your SO :)


Do you all think it's generally "safer" to go out in public with your gf/SO? ...... Sort of like "well they're with that other person and they're treating them completely normal, they must just be a slightly manly chick or something". lol

In my experience, yes, totally! IMHO everyone is immediately more passable if they go out with a GG (or two). I do honestly believe that folks do think the way you have described in the sense that they might think we are either "ugly women wearing too much makeup" (speaking for myself here) or that they totally read us as CD but that it doesn't matter as we are harmless and get more credibility because we are out and obviously supported (protected?) by a genetic woman. My happiest times out in public when en femme have been when I have been out with my wife as "two girls" or sometimes with more than one GG. My wife and I are friends with several "CDing couples" and it is THE best thing (IMHO) to go out together as a "group of girls".

So yeah, like I said before, if things pan out for you like they did for me, you are soooo going to have such a fabulous time in your near future! Go ahead ... makes some awesome memories! Good luck!

Hugs
Rachel

[prene]

Great story.
Yes it is safer going out with other gg's, I agree.

I do not pass as well as u do.
My voice to to low and I am almost 6 foot tall.

But as long as I am sitting and not talking, I guess I am OK.

I am envious you have a SO to do this with.

[Chickhe]

There is a small risk if she knows a lot of people who you don't want to be 'out' to, but if you are convincing, even if she says hi to someone she knows, they probably won't recognize you. You just avoid sticking around until they are done talking. That's one disadvantage over doing it alone.

If you go out with her, then you will look like two girl friends and be prepared to fend off guys depending where you go.

[Diversity]

It makes perfect sense to me. The opportunity to go out with your SO is going to give less attention to you, were you to go out alone. Have fun and enjoy the happy relationship you and your SO have. It is wonderful!
Di

[Maria in heels]

Michelle...you are truly lucky and you need to make sure that you give your gf a big hug! To have someone so supportive of you is a once in a lifetime thing, and sounds like you've found that one chance. Its great that you get to share Michelle with her, and have fun!

[Michelle (Oz)]

You are so lucky to have an accepting g'friend. An exciting experience which will be repeated I'm sure and always good to have company and share experiences.

As to your question two ways of looking at it:

(1) the company of a GG makes the outing seem more natural

(2) you are in disguise and she is not. If she is recognised and you are known as her boyfriend then you might be outed. If this worries you have a plan that you just go your own way and meet up a bit later. Mobile phones help.

Happy outings!

[kimdl93]

there is always a measure of safety in numbers, but the real advantage of going out with a gf/SO is the companionship. I certainly can't speak for your city, but I would also submit that its safer to go out during daylight and earlier hours. Don't let the voice hold you back...get out there and enjoy! A road trip sounds like a splendid way to avoid familiar faces.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Michelle, That was a great story like kim said there's always safety in numbers .

[arbon]

and seeing someone that may flag as potentially "not right" in their eyes out with another person is likely to dismiss some sub-concious thoughts about that person being a CDer. Sort of like "well they're with that other person and they're treating them completely normal, they must just be a slightly manly chick or something". lol

Does that theory make sense to anyone else? :P

A better theory: If you are comfortable with yourself and have some confidence people will generally accept you as you are and don't have to hide behind someone elses normalcy.

[bigbbalti]

That's great have fun

[linda allen]

I think it's safer and easier to go out with someone else than alone. The issue with going out with a wife or girlfriend is that even though people may not recognize you by yourself, they may recognize the other person and want to stop and talk to her. Going to another town or city makes this less likely.

Going out at night, especially very late at night or in the early morning is asking for trouble. You were in your car so that's some safety, but you had your girlfriend get out and walk alone. That's not good.

Late at night is when the drunks and the bad people come out. LAte at night is when most bad stuff happens. The safest place to be crossdressed is in broad daylight and around people. City streets, shopping centers or malls, parks, etc.

[I Am Paula]

If you are tall/big, and your SO is petite it could work against your going un-noticed. Then again, admit it, you went out to get noticed, didn't you?

[Suzanne F]

Michelle
I like Rachel have a supportive participating wife. It is so great to be out with her and our GG fiend in the city. Last week the three of us met up with Allie and another Rachael from this site. Be confident and have fun! There is a big world waiting for you.
Hugs
Suzanne

[LaraPeterson]

If you stand out in a crowd (even if it is a crowd of 2) as Celeste said, but you have good self-confidence like Arbon said, it's not going to matter. I usually wear pretty tall heels that put me over 6 feet and there aren't many gals as tall as me. So, naturally, I'm going to be noticed more than an average height girl. I've been out enough that the looks, snicker (for those who can spot it regardless), and even comments don't bother me anymore. That, my friend, will be your best ally--the more you go out, the easier it will get.

And don't be afraid to make eye contact. Return a stare with a smile and a wink with a wink. When you accept your femme self in public, so will most everyone else.

I am glad you have an SO who is on your team. That will definitely make your journey easier.

[Talisker]

Lucky you. Sounds fun. I would say there is safety in numbers and your less likely to get hassle.

[Cami.Aeris]

Congratulations! Sounds like a great positive experience.

I think going out with your SO is a much safer way of doing things. Having someone to support you helps me out both emotionally and physically (warding against threats). Safety in numbers! :)

[Sissy_Michelle]

First off Michelle congratulations! Even though you survived the anxiety it seemed as if y'all had a wonderful time. Hopefully you will get another chance to go out again.
Also going out in a group is not only safer but the more people you have that supports you, with you, the less likely others will wish want to confront your group. Everyone (in general either secretly or openly) will poke fun at a couple or someone alone. However when that one person is in a group and is seen welcomed, liked, or accepted not many people will challenge it unless they are in a bigger group.
Sorry just human nature as our society allows it.

Next time post a picture!

[Kandy Barr]

Nice story, Celeste is correct in saying if you're 6'+ and your SO is 5'5"", you are going to stand out no matter how well you pass. That being said have fun and pick safe places to go. Sooner or later if you continue to go out you will be made, so you should determine now how ready you are for people knowing. There is nothing wrong with being who you are and in the end peoples opinions of you are just that.....opinions! Who cares?

[Pandys]

great story, I hope a day will come when I am brave enough to go out dressed. Having the support of a GG or SO would probably be the only way I would ever be able to.