Is it just me or is the thrill gone?

[Noel Chimes]

Hello everyone and a very Merry Christmas to one and all. :D Sorry I haven't been around in a while but things haven't been that merry for me. I just haven't been feeling like myself lately, and I was wondering if it is just me or is this a normal thing we go through.:confused:
I mean with a name like Noel, I should be in 7th heaven right now, but in truth I feel like an old pair of shoes tossed in the corner and forgotten. :crying: I'm not trying to tinkle on anyones mistletoe but I just don't feel "IT" any more. :titanic: Even thought my wife knows, it still is no comfort. I use to dream of days when I could have the house to myself and do all the girl things my heart desired, but now it's like I'm throwing a party and no one came. Is there anyone who has felt like this?
Hugs and kisses, Noel

[JoAnnDallas]

NOEL... Cheer up, this is a phase we all go thru from time to time. It's like the feeling you get and you purge everything you have and two weeks later, you back buying again.

BTW, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

[Reana]

My intensity relating to dressing and the whole TG lifestyle cycles. I don't feel my less intense times are to the low described in the initial thread but they do vary quite a lot. I have always meant to chart them on a calender to see just how consistent this is but never seem to get around to doing that. The one thing that is consistent is that when the feelings are strongest, life, overall, is at its best. I'm more upbeat and have a feeling of serenity and comfort not obtained by any other means. I'm sure drugs must provide this feeling for those unfortunate persons that don't have the dressing desires we have and that have no better sense than to poison themselves. Their "highs" probably even go well past ours but I'll stick with what we have with pleasure. I'm getting off topic here to some extent but the "drugs thing" just popped into my head. Hopefully it does provide an anology some can relate to (with their imagination and not through experience).

[KathrynW]

I think many of us just go thru cycles where we have little or no interest in cd-ing. I'm going thru one at the present time, myself. I haven't really fully cd-ed in the past 6 months or so. It's kinda like "why go thru all the trouble of cd-ing...what's the point?" I've been thru cycles like this before, so I know better than to purge.
"She'll be back...." ;)

[erica12b]

i need to lol at this one , im in the same boat, i was shaving my body up till the first of the month then i was thinking no one sees me i could dress with hair or with out whats the point, i have been on and off the hole dressing thing for the month and real moody i thought it was just the season ,

[MarinaTwelve200]

CD is like a drug of "FIX" we need ever so often. when we have "enough" there is no need for it. I know the dissapointing feeling, having an excellent oppourtunty to CD, but not having the urge.--or CDing anyway to no effect.

I have always equated CD to a "Mini vacation from myself"---and like a vacation, there comes a time when we have had enough of "paradise" and feel the need to return home for a while. At these times there is little or no will to escape for a while, the vacation has done its job, and home is the place to be untill the urge strikes once more to get away.

BTW, I have found that a new CD idea or obtaining an article of clothing or makeup I haven't done before will often bring the urge back. Still, most of the time i wait out the cycle, which can last for weeks till the urge strikes again. I almost feel obligated to do something new (different photo technique or outfit) to Justify doing a "Marina phase"---
I got some good "Marina time" in this week from Thursday afternoon till noon Sunday--before "disassembling"---that ought to be enough to "hold" me for a while---but i am not writing off the comming weekend just yet.

[Phoebe Reece]

I use to dream of days when I could have the house to myself and do all the girl things my heart desired, but now it's like I'm throwing a party and no one came.
Being dressed up and just sitting around the house has little appeal to me as it has the feeling you just described. However, getting dressed up and going out with my CD friends is another matter.... That is something I need to do at least a couple of days every month (usually more often than that).

[SherriePall]

About the only time I really feel like I don't need to is when I don't feel well. But then I wonder how it would feel to lie in bed sick while wearing a nightgown! Actually, I feel the need to dress almost all the time, especially when I am home. If I don't dress for a while, I go through withdrawal and it's not a pretty sight.

[KathrynW]

Actually, I feel the need to dress almost all the time, especially when I am home. If I don't dress for a while, I go through withdrawal and it's not a pretty sight.
Just get SRS then and fuggetaboutit...;)

[SandraInHose]

I think I know what you mean. We all get to a point in life sometimes when we ask ourselves, "Is this all there is?"

Once in a great while, I'll wake up and not feel like putting on pantyhose. But then I remind myself that all my life I wished for a time when I could wear them as often as I want. Although sometimes I don't feel like putting out the effort, I'm always glad I did later on. I try to look at it as something to be thankful for, as my wife knows and we're still married.

On the other hand, maybe a self-imposed break from dressing will recharge you. Just remember...this isn't rocket science. Go with the flow, and if you feel like it one day, do it; if not, don't. :)

[SherriePall]

Kathryn W:
Don't think I haven't thought about transitioning. However,

[AmyH]

I myself stopped CDing for about 8 months last year. And threw away a lot of stuff. I am kicking myself now cause I am having to buy it back now. I even stopped once for over 4 years while I was in college. I will get fully dressed al least 3 times a month and part-dressed 2-3 per week. Hang in there.

Amy

[Rikki Elisabeth]

The holidays are a BADDDDD time when you want to be you. Unless your family knows, you cannot go anywhere because everyone else is with their family. It would be really cool to be able to visit your friends, taking food which you prepared, being a typcial woman.

And, yes, I think CDing can be cyclical. It can be very addictive. But I am past that point. I am more interested in "becoming" Rikki. But that doesn't mean that I don't like dressing....ohhhh, my.

[KathrynW]

The holidays are a BADDDDD time when you want to be you. Unless your family knows, you cannot go anywhere because everyone else is with their family.
Geeez...this isn't a heroin addiction we're talking about here. It's female clothing... If you're not "out" to family, put a lid on the cd-ing for a few days. It's not gonna kill ya. ;)

[Rikki Elisabeth]

Actually, it can be worse than heroin. Yes, it can kill you. Particularly if you are driving at night and flirting with a semi cab with 3 guys in it. That trip took 2 hours and I would blush telling you how naughty Rikki was.

[jennifer easton]

Geeeees and all this time I thought it was me!! I'm in the same mood I haven't seen jennifer since I told my girl, thats been 2 months, it's like the fun of it has just faded away!! Geeeeeees you don't think... naugh sherlly I'm not!!! (slaps her self) any way I hope to see jen soon, and you to well be back in black xoxoxJennifer

[kwebb]

At 40, I have seen it ebb and flow many many times. Since I (my femme side) saw a brief light of day a cople of years ago, there is often a feeling of all dressed up and no where to go, that is why I rarely will present the full make-up package while at home. It's usually a 'lil powder and some gloss.

Having been out, for me, its hard to go back into the closet. Seems boring. But there are still times at home when I still look into that mirror and wow, so fulfilled, so confident, I am tempted to go out into the world and say screw all of y'all, but it won't be the most pratcial thing to do and I guess, some would say it would lack common sense.
But to have a mindset where you are so confident that to you it does not matter what people think is an emotion I have had brief, elusive glimpses into. Its a wonderfully empowering feeling. I wish I could keep it all the time.

Like I said, the older I get, it seems the more I am going to want to be 'comfy' in my own skin and self in public at some point. I feel so at ease and 'at home' when dressed.
But then I will struggle after I am back in male mode when faced with the comments and transphobia of others.

[Sam-antha]

Me, like a lot of you, I do go through down times, usually in the black midwinter. (buy a SAD Lamp). I don't know, but perhaps it is then that I purge and wish that I had not. Clothes, styles, photos, all gone for no real reason and it ain't boredom with me and the mirror. As the years went by I found it better to get out, even if it is just for a walk around the block. I also found that was not enough as the nights got shorter and there was a hope of spring coming. Then I go properly out, not just for a walk. Shopping, mingling, eating. That usually starts around February, leaving behind the non-dressing of November.
This year tho I have this corner to get into and believe me it helps. A lot.
Froogle gets used and I get poorer.
Do not give up, just get out, even if it is cold.

[Melinda G]

It comes and goes for me too. I know better than to purge, because it ALWAYS comes back. It's a lifelong thing. But it ebbs and falls from time to time. Sometimes I go for months without dressing. Then something triggers it. Usually I see some hot chick somewhere, wearing a short skirt, nylons and ankle strap heels. That usually does it for me. Then I'm off and running again.
Health has a lot to do with it too. When I'm depressed in the winter, and feeling out of shape, my whole sex drive slows down. It all seems like too much trouble. But it always comes roaring back.
I usually put on a teddy and satin short robe, and heels in the morning while I have breakfast, coffee, and mess around on the computer. Feels good. Then I get dressed in my guy clothes and get on with my day. I might also put on a maids dress, heels and nylons to do housework. Once in a while I go the whole enchilada, wig makeup, and all, and go out, but not that often.

[KathrynW]

Usually I see some hot chick somewhere, wearing a short skirt, nylons and ankle strap heels. That usually does it for me.
damn...I LOVE ankle strap heels...;)

[Noel Chimes]

Thank you to all my sisters for reasuring me that I'm not alone.:gh: It's just a cycle that we go through. (I'm just glad it's not like other cycles women go through) Maybe it's all this worrying I'm doing has me out of balance.:evilbegon Perhaps a nice hot bath instead of the usual shower and a little pampering is all that I need.
BTW Melinda. where in Michigan do you D.J.? I was born and raised there, and do get back home from time to time.
Hugs and Kisses, Noel

[Shelly2069]

It's just a cycle that we go through. (I'm just glad it's not like other cycles women go through) Maybe it's all this worrying I'm doing has me out of balance.:[/I][/I][/B]

I know CDers that won't dress unless they are going out to a club. How many times can you take pictures of yourself or with your friends at home. I have the freedom to dress 7 days a week, yet I only do it once a week, usually on Saturday night.

Your earlier comment about having a party and no one is coming, describes my feelings to the T.

Which, leads me into seriously considering having a partner. Uncommon for me I was dressed last Sunday and having a little wine. I got the nerve up at around 10:30pm to call this guy that I have been chatting with and talking to on the phone. In someways I'm grateful that it was late and he had his kids for the holiday week, as it turned out there was no way he could have made it to my house on that night.

A strong part of me would really like to have someone (a guy) that I could hang out with and moreless just be a girl with. On the other hand I have internal conflict with doing just what I mentioned. It's hard enough coping with being a TV and to add another layer into my crazy tv world, I don't know if I can handle it.

This isn't the first time I've been down this road with guys before, it's just been years. The only enjoyment I really get from dressing is the challenge of trying to look better than the last time. Often I lose on that end too.

Just like you I find myself saying is this it. There isn't much of a thrill and sometimes I feel fustrated and sad when dressed, because there is nothing once dressed. All that effort with no reward in a way.

For me I don't know if getting involved in a limited way with a guy is the answer. I know that once I'm not dressed I have little feeling of wanting to go that way. Yet when dressed it's very exciting to put yourself into that kind of experience.

[Rikki Elisabeth]

I have to echo that re a "guy to hang around with." Here we are, all dressed but no where to go. I honestly will admit that I like women [so, I am a lesbian] but at the same time, I have "necked" with males but I have to do it dressed as a woman. It isn't a blast sitting around a hotel room dressed in a gown with 3 inch heels watching TV and having a beer.