Lost desire to dress

[Katie1989]

I've recently tried dressing and underdressing and stuff and have really tried to get into it (even posted about it) but I just am not getting anything out of dressing lately. Something in me has just shut it off and for over 2 weeks now I just don't care to dress. Even when I do it just feels like going thru the motions

Had you ever felt like this? This is honestly the longest period in my life when I have actively not wanted to dress and maybe I am just done with it. Or, maybe it's just because I haven't "fully" dressed that partial dressing just had no appeal anymore.

Don't know.

[Michelle789]

Maybe you're feeling depressed, or stressed, or maybe in denial and trying to subconsciously block this side of you. Is there anything particularly stressful going on in your life right now? Did anyone say anything to you recently that might've triggered guilt?

[AmyGaleRT]

Like many other things in life, Katie, it can ebb and flow. I have had weeks where I've been so wrapped up in other things, I haven't felt like dressing. But then it comes back as I remember just how good it is to be Amy...and the pink fog rolls in again! (I'm kind of on one of those upswings now, I think. I can tell by how full my "Amy" laundry basket is on laundry day! :) )

Give yourself some time; I'm sure "the urge" will return!

- Amy

[rhonda]

Hi Katie I know what you're going thru I'm there my self , I've been in then out , I don't know what turns it off then on , went almost a year out now I'm back and i don't know why except I know once you start dressing your hooked in or out your here so we might as well stay because we are coming back like it or not I guess we gotta admitt we are cders for life and go with it Rhonda

[DebbieL]

First, I'll qualify my answer by pointing out that I'm a transsexual not just a cross-dresser.

Often, when we first start to dress, we do it privately, and there is the combination of fear, excitement, and even some arousal.
Often, when we get beyond the sexual part, there is till the thrill of being dressed and feeling pretty.
When we first start to go out, there is the fear and excitement around whether we will pass or not.
There are also the compliments, often we get compliments on our appearance for the first time in our lives.
There is also a different aspect of our personalities that often emerges. It might be the "party girl".
For a transsexual like me, we feel like we are finally being ourselves, able to stop doing the "act" we used to survive being a boy.
For a cross-dresser, there is the fun of putting on the act, often trying "too hard" to be a girl.

We start going out more often, doing more ordinary things, looking more ordinary to blend.
To the transsexual, life gets calm, more comfortable, more like it should be.
For the cross-dresser, dressing to "blend" in ordinary clothes that women wear, it gets TOO ordinary.

Usually, the transsexual stops when there is external pressure, someone or a situation that limits their dressing, or forces them to stop.

The cross-dresser often just gets a bit bored and gives it a rest.

During that "break", both are able to eat more like men, less motivated to exercise, and often start to gain weight, and suffer health problems.

Often, the break ends when they start losing their weight, for health reasons, and start to want to show off their girlish figures.

[Rachelakld]

Hi Katie, so you have gone back to "normal" for a while.
I also did "normal" for a couple of busy years and we normally PURGE during this phase, which is a) expensive b) helps keeps our fashion current.
It may come back and harder, or maybe not at all.
Enjoy life and help other enjoy theirs is the best we can do.

[Beverley Sims]

Katie,
You will have realised from all the posts now that external activities do take you away from dressing for a while and when things settle down it is back on the rollercoaster.

[Dannigurlfriend]

This type of thing has happened to me most of my life. Like has been said before things get busy in ones life or stress, just be careful not to throw everything you have out.

[mariehart]

In my opinion that's just a normal part of life. We go off things for a while and sometimes permanently because they no longer give us what we want. Certain foods, certain activities, certain interests. I wouldn't worry about it because you will come back to dressing, probably with more enthusiasm, if not that's good too. You'll save money if nothing else.

I think you'll find that sooner or later something will set it off again.

[vallerie lacy]

Needless to say, many of us go through these tough times of not feeling like dressing. I can assure you, the "good life" will return. The only thing you need to be concerned about during these "times" is whether you missed a good sale somewhere.

[NicoleScott]

It's hard for me comprehend dressing when I really don't feel like it. If nothing compels you, why do it? Is it because "I'm a CDer, so I must CD"?
Don't fret. It comes back, usually with a vengence.

[Katie1989]

I can see where you are all coming from. It's just odd for me because I've never NOT had this desire, at least for this long. And maybe it is just a down period, but I've had those before where I'm too busy/too hectic to dress but I really don't feel this is one of those times. I guess I'll keep you updated, though I'm not yet ready to purge, just in case the pink fog comes back.

[Pumped]

Someone mentioned more stress causing less desire to dress. For me it is the reverse. This summer I was going through a lot of stress and dressed when ever I could. In the last week or two all the problems causing the stress have been resolved so my stress level has dropped to zero. I have had opportunity to dress but have no desire to.

[drushin703]

sorry katie, I don't think i've ever felt this way....But I can understand that in my own life cetain regrets and sorrows
aroused by circumstances beyond my control and power to repair, have caused me to re-think this little (huge)
hobby of mine. But never to the point of 'shutting it off'. When I am stressed out I usually try to turn it on full blast..

dana

[Stephanie47]

If your heart isn't into doing something for a day, a week, a month, a year, etc DON'T do it! Every person's needs are different.

[Jaymees22]

Your sub-conscious might be telling you that you need a break. So just go with it. It's not mandatory to dress, even though it can feel that way sometimes. I'm having the opposite problem right now I feel I must dress to feel my best. Hugs Jaymee

[Shirley Anne]

Hi Katie
Im going through a similar phase, havent dressed for more than 3 months and actively look for excuses not to dress,no idea why this should be, Im sure the need or desire will come back eventually.

[Kate Simmons]

I say just enjoy your "guy time" while you have it. There's a lot to be said about both modes ya know?:)

[JamieTG]

Its natural to go through up and down cycles. Usually something will act as a trigger and the desire will come back strong. If it lasts for a long time it may be depression. I don't try to force it if I'm in a down cycle. For me it always comes back.

[JamieQ]

I think we all need a break from time to time from most anything...I have this feeling that it will come back even stronger than when you took that break. I took the summer off basically because of the heat, but its just beginning to cool down and the desire is back with a vengeance!!!

[Sharon B.]

Katie; I'm also at that point it has been a while since I have no desire to get feminine at this time. I still keep the faith up that something will kick start it up once again. I know all it will take is to see a woman in stockings and a dress with nice heels on and my inner woman will be back.

[kimdl93]

Its possible that you just don't feel like it right now. there isn't any quota. If & when the time comes, enjoy it. Until then, don't worry about it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katie, Tell us a little about yourself your age , are you married or have s SO girlfriend did she have anything to do with this.

[Davinnia]

It's a weird kind of barometer that swings between between being OK with being in male mode or needing to be girly. I had the chance to dress both evenings of this weekend & my wife said "not dressing tonight" "Can't be bothered shaving & makeup " Still wore girl jeans, top & flat shoes. Sometimes I can't be bothered dressing, other times it's the most important thing in the world. I'm OK with both states of mind.

[chatbuddy1987]

I've recently tried dressing and underdressing and stuff and have really tried to get into it (even posted about it) but I just am not getting anything out of dressing lately. Something in me has just shut it off and for over 2 weeks now I just don't care to dress. Even when I do it just feels like going thru the motions

Had you ever felt like this? This is honestly the longest period in my life when I have actively not wanted to dress and maybe I am just done with it. Or, maybe it's just because I haven't "fully" dressed that partial dressing just had no appeal anymore.

Don't know.

Are you going through stress or depression?

Because I am. I don't feel like doing it when I am depressed.

[Erica Marie]

Katie I am going through the exact same thing right now. My problem is that I am so busy it is taking up every last minute of my time and when night time comes I just need to stop and do nothing. My mind is so overwhelmed with other things that dressing is taking back seat. I know it is there and will never go away, but it just needs a break and when the time is right everything qill be back to normal again.
So take a break and dont worry about it. My suggestion (what Im going to do this week).
Hit the stores. Pick out one new outfit. Take it home and have it ready. When you are feeling it again you can start out fresh and new.

[cdmorganashley]

I feel I am never pleased with being in male mode; I don't know if I would go so far as to say it repulses me, but life just always seems like it would be better if it was basically the same but I was female... that being said I am not a feminine acting guy and usually what discourages me from dressing is that I feel like dressing will only accentuate how far I am from my ideal and that can actually make me feel discouraged and kind of depressed... I was actually feeling that way last night until I decided to throw my flats on and walk around my apartment in them and I found it did make me feel good just to be wearing what I want, especially if I stayed away from the mirror...

[linda allen]

There's no rule that says you have to dress every "X" days to maintain your title as a crossdresser. You dress if you feel like it and have the opportunity, you don't dress if you don't feel like it.

You're still posting on a crossdressing forum so I would say you're still a crossdresser.