Am I weird?

[nacracat]

When I review the pictures I have taken of myself it is exactly the sort of look that I really fancy when I date females. Am I dressing to excite myself or just pass, does this sound familiar? Answers on a postcard!

[TheMissus]

Sigh. As a GG witnessing all this, my viewpoint is unlikely to be wanted. Was it ever?

But yes, you're dressing to excite yourself.

That said, by all means take the complicated path and tell yourself you dress to pass. Spend hours perfecting this. Neglect your job and relationships while you surf for women's clothes online and spend the rest of your time on this forum comparing hip pads and wig type. Remember also to tell them what color your panties are. Dress publicly as often as you can and, fingers crossed, soon enough you'll be taking hormones to become a 'real girl.'

Feel free to delete this post. I think I've been on this forum too long.

[Shari]

Ouch, Missus!

[Erica Marie]

Dang Missus I sense some issues here. We all have problems and no one to turn to. Any advice is good advice but, really??????
We all dress for different reasons. Some of have gender issues, some for excitement and some because they have a accepting SO that encourages it. Let all work together and help with these issues not condone them.

[Lynn Marie]

It's quite true that many, if not all of us, dress to emulate our "dream girl". If you want to get our attention, dress similar to how we present.

[Tawne]

Well it is proven human nature that if you like somebody, you are likely to mimic them in one way or another, you have adopted the look of a female you thought looked good, why would you adopt a look you didn't like? XD.

[TheMissus]

Ouch, Missus!

Well, the OP asked :)

And nope, I won't apologize or pander any more. Not that I did much anyway, but seriously, you're all big girls here and prior to that half of you were some pretty formidable men! You really can't handle a GG telling you what she thinks? And this isn't personal either - read the threads. How many are pure fantasy? Can anyone here really tell??

And to the OP, I stand with what I said. If you're hot for Miley Cyrus and you're dressing like Miley Cyrus, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out, does it?

But feel free to make this complicated. Most do :) x

[NicoleScott]

I think it's quite logical to dress in the style you prefer on GG's. Why would we do otherwise?

[ruthie801]

Well I posted here before how I had a crush on my mother's best friend. (many many years ago) anyway I was doing my eye makeup just like Ruth did her's, that when I took her name. So yes I emulate the first woman i fell in love with.

[CarlaWestin]

Well, the OP asked :)

And nope, I won't apologize or pander any more. Not that I did much anyway, but seriously, you're all big girls here and prior to that half of you were some pretty formidable men! You really can't handle a GG telling you what she thinks? And this isn't personal either - read the threads. How many are pure fantasy? Can anyone here really tell??

And to the OP, I stand with what I said. If you're hot for Miley Cyrus and you're dressing like Miley Cyrus, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out, does it?

But feel free to make this complicated. Most do :) x

I'm surprised that you didn't use the cliche', prancing around. Most CD haters do.

Complicated? Although I'm not any GG's fantasy male, I am a good devoted husband with a handle on priorities. I've built a career, steered us through a recession, put a child through college debt free, paid off every house and car I've ever owned, cared for my disabled brother until his death, don't drink, smoke or do drugs. And, although I live in a city that promotes every vice you can think of, I'm more concerned about our health, happiness and peace of mind. And then when it doesn't interfere with priorities, I crossdress and emulate my version of feeling female.

Missus, your issues certainly aren't about crossdressing. They're about priorities.

[TheMissus]

Okay, you 'prance around', too :)

And I'm not a CD hater, honest. I'm just honest overall and sometimes (mostly) that doesn't go well here.

Anyway sorry OP, I'll buzz off now. I wish you luck and hope you find your answers x

[kimdl93]

Lets see if we can be a tad objective. No we can't. this is about style. Why would one NOT dress in a style that they found attractive on GGs? The compromise we make is that we have to look in the mirror and decide if an outfit works for us as well as it did on the person of interest. Often it doesn't, because of height, coloring, stature. I don't see anything perverse in this. Furthermore, overtime we may develop our own sense of style. And, some of us may go down that slippery slope!

[Kate Simmons]

Not sure about anyone else but I dress to look like a pragmatic action/adventure heroine myself. ;):battingeyelashes::)

[Beverley Sims]

I respect the missu's viewpoint and encourage othe GG's to comment on these issues.
We cannot live in a cocoon and expect to get by on accolades from one point of view.

[Marie-Elise]

I respect the missu's viewpoint and encourage othe GG's to comment on these issues.
We cannot live in a cocoon and expect to get by on accolades from one point of view.

I agree with this. I respect her views.

Having said that, I think TheMissus also should develop a sense of tact and self awareness about how her comments might be perceived. And, yes, perception is reality.

To me, her comments come off as smirking at CDers like she knows better than we do. I couldn't help but read them with Dick Cheney's face in my mind. His smirk of "I know better and you are just a silly peasant."

While I am at it, TheMissus then says that it's just because she is honest. Is she honest like that with her girlfriends? She may not have very many of them if she is.

The point is that we come here (for the most part) for some support and validation that we are not crazy or weird...just different. So what if it takes us some thinking to get around to accepting or understanding something that may be readily apparent to others?

So, TheMissus, please understand something that may be apparent to me but not to yourself. Somewhere, you have an issue with what it is that we do and it rpobably makes you feel superior to be able to talk down to us "less than men" (your perception) folks. You may want to do some introspection to see what ails you.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/88/46_Dick_Cheney_3x4.jpg/220px-46_Dick_Cheney_3x4.jpg

[Kelly DeWinter]

Interesting question. I know that i'm still experimenting, trying to find a look that i'm comfortable with. When I look in the mirror, it's more to find my style. My SO says that at times i'm like a teenager trying to 'fit in' and 'stand out' at the same time. She says once i grow up, my 'look' will settle down. LOL

[Sonya]

. Spend hours perfecting this. Neglect your job and relationships while you surf for women's clothes online and spend the rest of your time on this forum comparing hip pads and wig type. Remember also to tell them what color your panties are. Dress publicly as often as you can and, fingers crossed, soon enough you'll be taking hormones to become a 'real girl.'
Feel free to delete this post. I think I've been on this forum too long.
Hi TheMissus, please don’t put everyone in the same basket, admittedly I have also been guilty of some of the above at times. But I don’t talk about the color of my panties and I don’t dress publicly as often as I can and I can assure you that I am not going to be taking hormones to become a ‘real girl’ because I can never be a ‘real girl’ but saying that we are a varied bunch and I also don't have anything against members who are just different from me. Most of us here actually really value the GG’s comets and views. I wish you all the best.

[MysticLady]

Hi Nacracat, no you're not weird. You, like me, dress like the style we admire. I don't see anything wrong with that.

[Annaliese]

For my self it to pass, but more than that it to look the best I can, to see my improvement and yes to excite but now sexually, but who I have become.

[Lori Kurtz]

Sigh. As a GG witnessing all this, my viewpoint is unlikely to be wanted. Was it ever?

But yes, you're dressing to excite yourself.
...
...
...
I think I've been on this forum too long.

Dear TheMissus:
I understand and am sorry for the things that have hurt you. I hurt my first wife that way, and undid what could have been a good lifelong marriage. I can't blame you for having a hard time with your experience with your SO.

Please don't go away. I have appreciated reading your comments on other posts, and I absolutely value your viewpoint, as I do those of other GGs (even if I disagree sometimes).

Yes, when I was actively CDing, I was dressing to excite myself. It wasn't because my gender identity was female, it was just because I happened to find dressing up as a woman sexually exciting. I even did some "prancing around," and I'm not ashamed to say it. I would not ask a wife to participate in any of that, although I would welcome it if she wanted to. And to the extent that my CDing took my attention away from my wife, she was absolutely justified in feeling hurt by it.

No, dear, please don't feel that you have been in this forum too long. If you can, please hang in there. I'm sure many of us--crossdressers, transsexuals and women who have always been women both physically and psychologically--care about you, feel for you, and hope for the best for you. You need a hug ... I hope you would be willing to accept it from me.

[Lola Wants]

I respect TheMissus viewpoint, I also respect everyones viewpoints as well and in turn will add mine...

I am a GG that often dresses up to excite myself. Don't we all do this on some level? whether you are CD, GG, TS, etc. haven't you ever slipped an article of clothing on your body to make you yourself feel great? I can certainly relate to the desires of emulating someone you think is attractive. I especially love fashion: retro clothing, the pin-up look, pencil skirts and pretty hosiery... a silky blouse, cute dress... the list goes on! I understand that not every person is into fashion or "getting all dolled up" but speaking for myself, that is something I love to do.

I am a woman, who loves to feel like a woman, who often emulates women she finds attractive (or fashion forward). I would expect CDers to do the same... (If I was a CDer I am sure I would) And If I wanted to go out... I would want to pass. So I would put hours into practicing and cultivating the look I wanted to achieve. Oh wait... and when it comes to surfing the web, looking for clothes, neglecting my job... putting off things I need to do for the things I want to do... What do you think this GG is doing right now?

I am sitting at my desk at work, I have this site open, browsing the forum and I have other windows open on my screen... one of which is tracking a package being delivered to my house in that package is a cute dress (that I bought online... while I was at work... when I should have been doing other things).


This is just my opinion... It is not pointed at anyone I am just trying to share my point of view.


~Lola

[Dee-Dee]

Well, I am new here and have read through most of the posts. I will refrain from the side topic brought on by Missus statements, because that is not what this thread is about. For me, I dress to indulge my feminine side, escape from reality, and to excite myself. And yes, I dress to emulate a woman that I love and find very beautiful. No, not every outfit works for me and I also incorporate my own style as well. I have given up on trying to figure out if I am weird or just crazy, because quite honestly if I am, then I am joined my a huge number of CDs who are married and enjoy their feminine side. That's my 2 cents on it. :) Dee-Dee

[Frédérique]

Am I dressing to excite myself or just pass, does this sound familiar? Answers on a postcard!

YES and yes. Wish you were here…:straightface:

[Momarie]

Perhaps the ones who take issue with The Missus...have issues themselves.

She gives you an honest solid answer and she gets called an ailing, smirking hater.

I suppose defending her makes me a transphobic bigot.

[Lexi_83]

Well, the OP asked :)

And nope, I won't apologize or pander any more. Not that I did much anyway, but seriously, you're all big girls here and prior to that half of you were some pretty formidable men! You really can't handle a GG telling you what she thinks? And this isn't personal either - read the threads. How many are pure fantasy? Can anyone here really tell??

And to the OP, I stand with what I said. If you're hot for Miley Cyrus and you're dressing like Miley Cyrus, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out, does it?

But feel free to make this complicated. Most do :) xthe great thing about dressing like Miley Cyrus these days: it doesn't take very long to get ready! And packing for a weekend - no problem in the storage!

This just confirms the smartest thing a I ever did was to tell my ex wife before we got married.

[Lorileah]

OK back on track here. If you want to argue, do it in PM.

We are done with "the Missus" vs the world here.

[jodie k]

i am my dream girl

and its not a nightmare.

jodie:brolleyes::brolleyes:

hey, maybe ill use that top line as my quote===:heehee::D:D

[Crissy Kay]

Very interesting thread. Well I have zero chance of meeting a GG who likes to dress like me, but I may meet a cute cd who likes this stuff!!!

[robindee36]

You are not weird, only a CD like most of us. If we didn't like what we looked like dressed, we would probably taken up lumberjacking.

Way sad that some folks here feel the need to vent snarky remarks. I wonder if they realize how hurtful they can be. Not to me, I'm Ms Happy, Happy, Happy al the day long.

Hugs Nacracat, Robin

[Abbygirl]

There is NOTHING WRONG with dressing to excite, nor with dressing to emulate what you find attractive. (please see signature below)

[franlee]

If you didn't dress in things that make you feel good, or excite what would be the point? You are not weird due to your choice of styles unless you display them in an arena that doesn't except them, and then it is weird to them. Simply put the rules are what you make them until you transgress into someone else's world.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nacracat, You sound just like any normal Crossdresser.

[Ressie]

I don't leave the house dressed so passing isn't my primary goal. I certainly wouldn't go out wearing the stuff that really excites me! I might be considered weird to those that pass in exciting clothes ;)

[Dalva]

Good Question, Nacracat.

When I first started dressing, I wasn't thinking about dating at all. I was too young. I just wanted to look girly. As time passed, maybe I did get dressed to get turned on, probably a lot but I never thought about how I looked, more about the feeling. As I matured, I dressed to satisfy my inner girl wanting to come out. Nowadays I just dress...sometimes sexy and tartish, sometimes sophisticated (maybe I'm kidding myself, but I try), sometimes sensual, sometimes just practical.

If anything, because I'm attracted to other cd's, I might dress like how I would like a partner to look...I dunno... I never really thought about it till now.

[AmyGaleRT]

Well, I come not to argue with TheMissus, but to agree with her, at least to a certain extent. Ultimately, we all dress to please ourselves, no matter whether we're talking about men, GGs, or CDs. Sometimes we do so within certain societal boundaries, sometimes not.

I'll cite myself as an example. Yesterday morning, I got dressed for work in my usual (male) attire of a polo-style shirt and khaki pants. This is considered societally-acceptable for work in the kind of business I'm in, but I also find it reasonably comfortable and easy to deal with. But what no one else saw is, underneath those pants, I was wearing black L'eggs thigh-high stockings. This has certain salutary benefits, as I've mentioned (like keeping my legs from itching as much), but it's also pleasing to me.

When I got home, Sabrina wanted me to cook dinner. Before I did so, I went into the bathroom and exchanged my clothes for a simple blue denim dress, the usual lingerie underneath including my forms, and a pair of slippers. Why? Because it pleased me to do so, the dress is comfortable and flattering, and it felt better to cook dinner as Amy.

Afterwards, there was a bag of trash that needed to be taken out. I didn't bother going back to my male clothes; I just took off the slippers and put on my wedge espadrilles before doing so. Again, it pleased me to walk outside as Amy; the weather hasn't turned that cold yet, and being outside en femme, even for a short time, is exhilarating.

Around about 9:30, Sabrina decided she needed some beef jerky. At this point, if I'd been in a different mood, I might have temporarily switched back to my "work" clothes. Instead, I did a "quick" application of makeup, painted my nails, packed my "essentials" into my purse, and drove to the supermarket (and ultimately a second one) as Amy. Again, it pleased me to do so; part of me feels like I don't get out enough as Amy, and an opportunity to do so was a godsend. My makeup and attire was good enough to elicit no comments or even stares from anyone I passed by at the stores. It felt good to know that, at least within this context, I was successfully being a woman.

Later that evening, partly at Sabrina's suggestion ("Are you going to get into a gown?") I undressed and donned a black negligee, using my foam forms with it. It pleases me to relax this way at the end of a day, and it's quite pleasurable to feel the soft, silky tricot fabric against my skin. It was in this outfit that I had to play "Nurse Amy" and give Sabrina her insulin shot. I get a kick out of that. :)

So you see, throughout the course of the day, no matter what I was doing or which role I was playing, I always dressed to suit myself. Sometimes I was conforming to societal expectations, sometimes departing from them. But, ultimately, my choices were my own, and I'm happy with the choices I made.

And, if you think about it, your choices are your own, too, no matter what you choose to wear. (In most cases; some people might have to wear uniforms.) True, your choices may be limited in one fashion or another, but you still make the choice as to what pleases you.

- Amy

[Marcelle]

Firstly, no you are not weird. I believe we all dress "male" or "female" in a manner which pleases us and makes us feel good.

When I am in male mode, with the exception of wearing a uniform where it is standardized, I dress to look and present good (a bit metro) but it makes me feel good to look stylish. Am I emulating other men's fashions . . . Ah . . . Yup. I asked my wife why she chooses to dress like she does and she said, because it suits me to dress like I do . . . that makes sense to me.

Clothing is an expression of identity regardless if you are genetic male or genetic female . . . it defines who you are (to you and only you). If clothing did not matter, we would all be running around naked because we would not need it to create identity (well cold weather aside that is :battingeyelashes:)

When en femme, I apply the same logic. I like to look pretty as it helps me to identify with the feminine side of my personality. Am I emulating my mom, my wife, hot girls I see on the bus . . . their fashion perhaps but not them personally. I do it for me because it makes me feel good and gives me a sense of grounding.

I have to admit when I first came out to my wife and dressing at home became whatever you like dear, I went whole hog, dresses, make-up, pretty lingerie. I think we all do (IMHO). However, I now find myself dressing to blend more, jeans, skirts, tops, comfortable shoes. Why, because I am moving toward an identity as Isha which is more practical to going out. Would I get all dolled up again . . . Hell yes, I still love the feel of sexy lingerie and pretty dresses. Am I doing it for me . . . Hell yes again. But that is the point, it is for me not anyone else. I am certainly not dressing sexy for my wife, other women or guys :eek:

My wife and I are going to a work social event (hers not mine) and I have to admit, I would love to be the one wearing an evening gown with sexy lingerie but that is because it would make me feel good. However, will I still feel good in my tux . . . Yes, because that defines my male identity (although the dress would be more fun :heehee:)

I would not get too wrapped up in why you dress as you do, if it makes you feel good sweetie, just go with it. Irrespective of whether it is a sexy short skirt and crop top or sweats and a t-shirt. You should do what makes you feel good :)

To quote an old Rick Nelson song (Garden Party) I learned long ago that you can't please everyone so you got to please yourself

Hugs

Isha

[Tamara Croft]

I was just cleaning this thread up AGAIN and because some people can't read simple instructions from the section mod, I'm closing this thread.

On a side note, this is a support forum, ANYONE posting in this section to cause trouble is not going to stay here very long, I'm not having it. You want to go slam people, go find another forum to do it on, this is a CD forum, support for CD's... capiche??