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sandra-leigh
09-27-2013, 12:47 PM
I recently filled out an application for a Canadian federal disability pension. My depression has made it impossible to consider any kind of regular paid work, for a variety of reasons. I fought accepting that I needed to, but Yeh, I need it.

On the application, I filled out some standard well-understood disabilities: major depression, anxiety/panic, agoraphobia. Those would have been enough on their own.

But I'm also feeling (literally) sick of being pretending I am male to the government, so I also added in Gender Dysphoria. Knowing that probably it wouldn't be understood, and knowing that it might damage my application -- but at this point it is more important to me to be who I am, Sandra-Leigh, than it is to get a disability pension. If someone were to offer me $100,000 to go back to being male, I'd tell them to get shoved.

Well, this morning, I received a phone call from the government RN assigned to my case as medical. She asked for Sandra-Leigh _______ rather than for my legal male name. As the application was an official government application, I had applied under my male name, in at most one place using "Sandra-Leigh", but my medical records contain an entry "Please call her Sandra-Leigh", and that is what she did.

From the conversation we had, I could tell that the medical report my doctors submitted did indeed mention gender dysphoria prominently, and I could tell that the adjudicator, at least, was taking it seriously. The adjudicator was not treating the dysphoria as the most important element of the application -- but that is as is appropriate for the circumstances, as the key question for the purposes of the application is whether or not I am able to work, and the gender dysphoria will, it appears, be considered with regards to whether this inability to work is likely to continue indefinitely.

The medical adjudicator did not indicate that my application is going to be approved; there was one clause during the discussion that hinted that it perhaps might not be. Which would be pretty standard: apparently 80% of first applications are rejected. For example, the adjudicator could potentially rule that I have not sufficiently proven that I cannot work part time.

None the less, I feel some relief at having stood up to the government for my gender dysphoria when it would have been easier and safer not to -- and in having at least someone in the government accept that it is a legitimate concern that deserves consideration.

God I'm mixed up some days, and don't know what I really want or what I'm willing to risk. But it's times like this, where I can't bear to deny my gender dysphoria when it would be "better" if I did, that make it clear to me that underneath, at some level I find it difficult to normally access, that part of me is desperately dysphoric.

Kimberly Kael
09-28-2013, 12:12 PM
Only you can take stock of your situation, but I would ask an obvious question: if you do go on disability leave to stop work entirely, what do you think would change to improve the situation in the future? And can you see a way to accomplish any of that while still working? Work is a very important part of our sense of self-worth, so it's in your own interest to stay as engaged as you can while you work through your issues. Not to mention the obvious financial benefits. I've seen a number of trans women who drift out of the work force, stall in their transition, and have a very hard time making their way back in.

whowhatwhen
09-28-2013, 12:38 PM
Chances are it'll get rejected on the first go.
Once you get the rejection notice find a lawyer that handles those cases ASAP.

It does suck a bit to live on assistance, especially since it's not a whole lot of money but the thing is that you have enough to get your life together while you focus on getting healthy.
Don't let anyone make you feel less for doing so, these social safety nets exist specifically to help people get better - that's what there there for and what you're going to use it for.

Persephone
09-28-2013, 01:20 PM
Sandra, I admire you for taking the leap and being yourself.

Hugs,
Persephone.

KellyJameson
09-28-2013, 01:29 PM
It is difficult for me to imagine gender dysphoria without anxiety and depression.

I think of the experience as not only living between the gender binary but between anxiety and depression.

The concept of self management seems impossible partly because there is no self to manage and you cannot manage what you do not know.

The result is you have little understanding of your emotional needs because you live estranged from yourself by being forced to live outside of your body which is foreign and without a body you live outside of human relationships so you cannot experience connection with other people

Gender dysphoria isolates you from everything

The only thing that kept me alive and reasonably healthy was I approached myself as a doctor/ patient relationship from having a estranged relationship with myself.

Transitioning becomes the Doctor as "you" taking the patient as "you" and leading them by the hand through the process.

It is a loving act.

This "love of you" will help you find the "will power" that is absent in depression.

It is done in hundreds of small loving acts that build on themselves that lessen the depression but the important part of depression is not to fear it because the fear becomes the fuel that feeds it taking you deeper into it.

My problem has always been extreme anxiety and not so much with depression but once I stabilized on hormones and came out of the dissociation the anxiety stopped but the depression hit hard exactly at that time when I needed a positive attitude to continue.

I felt like I was walking through molasses as "life" and I was forcing everything.

It is living without hope where before I was idealistic about the future even with all the anxiety.

My ignorance as "repression" of the truth of "my gender" protected "my will to live".

In hindsight I see it could be no other way because as my understanding of my situation became clear to me so did the costs of what I had lost, what I had suffered and what lay ahead as more costs and suffering.

Depression comes out of our understanding of "truth" combined with our relationship to this understanding as "attitude"

One person see's the cup half full and one person see's the cup half empty.

The person who see's life as half empty is the one who will be vulnerable to depression.

Being the good doctor to yourself is changing your life and having the confidence in yourself that you can change your life so the cup is now seen as half full.

Mary Lee
09-28-2013, 02:09 PM
Mine was approved the fourth time around and only because I hired a lawyer after the third time.

ReineD
09-28-2013, 02:35 PM
Sandra, you may want to read this from the Ontario Human Rights Commission. The entire article is noteworthy, but near the middle of the page they identify the controversy that surrounds what is, and what is not considered a disability when it comes to Gender Dysphoria. I don't know if this article still makes sense now that we have the DSM V though.

http://www.ohrc.on.ca/es/node/2825


I wish you all the best with your disability claim. I hope it will work out.

sandra-leigh
09-28-2013, 09:20 PM
Kimberly, I am already off work. I was laid off a little over a year ago. It wasn't personal: half of our institution was laid off, including all of the unit I worked in. If the layoff had not happened, I probably would have gone on disability within a few months, as I had not been able to do any significant part of my job for over a year. I was, though, under the illusion back then that my inability was tied strongly to my workplace, and that I'd be good to go after 2 or 3 months rest, but there was just no way I was able to do that in practice.

Apparently the psychiatrist reported that I was unlikely to get significantly better until I managed to resolve my relationship issues (including my trans issues) with my wife.

A disability classification will allow me to access additional funding sources that will be enough to get through.

Reine, that report was from 1999, and the Ontario laws changed after that.

Also, I do not need to use the Gender Dysphoria as a primary diagnosis: every one of my doctors and therapists in the last decade has agreed that I have Major Depression. The Gender Dysphoria provides the support on the matter of whether it is likely to continue indefinitely. My gender therapist considers my Gender Dysphoria to be amongst the strongest she has ever seen (when "Gender Dyshoria" is considered in its medical sense, rather than as a code word for "needs SRS".)

Kimberly Kael
09-29-2013, 11:42 AM
I'm sorry things are hard right now, Sandra-Leigh, and I do hope you're able to get the assistance you need to start getting back on your feet. Struggling with relationship issues, depression, and dysphoria all at once is hard enough without having to worry about the financial end. Here's hoping you can start making progress on one or more fronts before long!

sandra-leigh
09-29-2013, 01:14 PM
"The wonder is not how well the bear dances, but that it dances at all". The wonder is that I haven't completely cracked under what I have been through in the last decade. I used to have 3 1/2 things going on in my life that were each considered significant enough to trigger major depression. I hurt, but I get through.

donnalee
09-30-2013, 02:21 AM
Just a note to tell you I have the same aphorism on my signature and understand exactly what you mean and why you made that particular choice. However, you may have exercised more valor than discretion. The unfortunate reality is that these things exist to deny benefits, not to approve them, and any deviation from a known successful path will have a more difficult success. Any attorney will tell you the best thing is to shut up and let him/her do the talking. One of the major mistakes is TMI; you can't take something back after disclosing it. I wish you well and hope it goes well, but would advise you talk to an attorney now rather than later; most will give you a free initial consultation and, of course, document everything you can that might have a bearing on your case; keep a log of every contact, including verbal ones while your memory is fresh.
Good Luck,
Donna