Kicked out

[Katie Louise]

Well my partner kicked me to the kerb. Not anything to do with crossdressing, more a health issue called intermittent explosive disorder. Shake a coke bottle enough and it goes boom. Anyways. Time to find my own place, rebuild the girlie wardrobe and fully explore my femininity this time. Time to stop repressing it. Anyone got any sage words?

[Marcelle]

Sorry to hear this. It may seem a bit of a mess now but this is a good time for introspection. You indicated it was not CDing but IED. Are you currently seeking counselling or medicated to deal with this? Is your IED comorbid with bi-polar or other mood disorders? My recommendation is if you have not dealt with IED in your life, it would be a good idea to get this under control before exploring as the feelings associated with CDing could potentially cause issues with IED.

Just my two cents.

Hugs

Isha

[teri222]

Maybe some of your IED is caused because you feel you can't fully express you
female side? Only a good therapist could help with that

[Shellycd12]

Sorry to hear that. Wish you the very best of luck.

Take Care.

Shelly

[docrobbysherry]

When life gives a CD a lemon, we often go shopping! Usually picks us up!

[AbigailAlexis]

Before I say anything else, I wholehearted agree with those that suggest a bit of counseling for your IED.

But my focus of this post is you... It sucks that your partner pushed you out of their life, that's hard for any of us to deal with. But trust me when I say that we all have dealt with rejection in our lives (not a cliche just true). Sometimes it is those exact times of pain that tell us who we are and what we stand for. Sometimes it provides clarity for what we want. Sometimes it gives our desires direction. Sometimes though, it just sucks for a while and then gets better with time or distance. Things will get better!

If you need to express your femininity to make yourself feel good at this time, that's great! But, just be sure that it's not the only step in the healing process or you will forever associate your CD-ing with something sad. Do other things for yourself as well. Take yourself for a walk and see something beautiful. Turn on the TV and watch a guilty pleasure. Take some time out with a friend and tell them everything. Confide your feelings with a Parental figure. And finally, watch some cat videos on Youtube, because it's hard not to smile with that much cuddly cuteness!

Above all these are all just suggestions, heal as you need and deserve. Good Luck!

Hugs, Abby

[Michelle789]

Times of stress can definitely trigger gender dysphoria and re-kindle the desire to CD. I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal. I wish you the best in exploring your feminine side.


Maybe some of your IED is caused because you feel you can't fully express you
female side?

I agree. Sometimes repressing the feminine side can lead to nasty side-effects including anger, drinking, drugs, depression. I suggest you see a therapist that specializes in gender issues, and can also help you with your IED.

[Katie Louise]

Thanks Isha. The IED is dealt with but I was unwell and the meds we're being flushed out of my system. But yes, it's caused some introspection alright. And I've decided I'd rather be happy. I think Teri could have something. The IED May go along with Siobhan being trapped and not being allowed out. I have a psychiatrist, but not a psychologist. I stat that counselling next week. I'd love to start coming out to her but after living in a closet for 41 years it's really scary

[Marcelle]

Hi Sibby,

I am assuming the meds were prescribed by the psychiatrist? I know how the body can react to such strong meds but did you discuss the "flushing" with your psychiatrist. I would hate to see you come off meds without proper medical oversight as this can really wreak havoc with your emotional balance.

Is your counselling next week with the psychologist related to the IED or CD (gender identity). When you say come out to her, do you mean your psychologist? If that is the case, I really think you should introduce the subject in the sessions as your psychologist may or may not be a gender identity expert and may want to refer you for this as well. If CDing is affecting your IED, your therapist will need to know in order to follow the proper line of therapy.

Feel free to PM me at any time should you have questions.

Hugs

Isha

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe you need to see someone about anger management as well.

I did not mean to sound short but if you do have a problem all you do is alienate yourself from others for no reason.

[kimdl93]

Sorry to hear this. It may seem a bit of a mess now but this is a good time for introspection. You indicated it was not CDing but IED. Are you currently seeking counselling or medicated to deal with this? Is your IED comorbid with bi-polar or other mood disorders? My recommendation is if you have not dealt with IED in your life, it would be a good idea to get this under control before exploring as the feelings associated with CDing could potentially cause issues with IED.

Just my two cents.

Hugs

Isha

I agree with Isha. The first order of business should be addressing this behavioral issue. If you can get that under control, then other aspects of your life are more likely to fall into place for you.

[Katie Louise]

Isha, the psychology is related to the IED. The meds were being flushed out by a bad bout of gastro. Nothing I can do about it all now. But I am feeling a need to really reboot my life. And Siobhan regularly bangs at her cage. My thinking is that perhaps I should let her have a go occasionally. I mean, I will soon be living alone (with friends now), and will be free to explore my feminine side. And I think I might just go for it.

[Darla]

Hey Sibby -

Yeah - I guess I too have undisguised IED, and the therapist I see isn't all about labels, just general consensus that my ability to not express myself is a major contributor to the anger and unhappiness I feel. I explode when things get out of control (2 kids, stressful job, non-accepting relationship) or even some days when it's a little out of control. And I never really have a chance to dress at all.
There are joys to be had, but deal with your ability to express yourself - I feel like the best part of me is when I dress. I feel like I'm a better person, a more patient person, a more loving father and husband. Which is so hard because I'm asked to suppress it for the sale of normalcy. I guess the new normal is a furious jerk.
Maybe this break is what you need to pull who you are together. Work on your grace, in the gender that best suits you. If you're better off as a woman, then go for it. There's a lot of external issues in presenting, but if it feels right internally - you have a pretty good answer, and one that should help other areas of your life.

Hugs
Darla

[Tracii G]

I wish you all the best with your treatment.Living alone has been the best thing for me I had bouts of IED here and there but never had to get help for it I worked it out on my own.
Living alone for me is where I feel the most comfy.