...but otherwise drab

[cdmorganashley]

hmm well i just have to inquire about this. I have been coming across a number of posts where the poster is out and about in various amounts of female clothing and possibly some amount of makeup and remarks that they are "otherwise in drab" or presenting as male, and it has got me thinking... does the average person we encounter really not notice that these are female things we have on? I mean in a perfect world it shouldn't matter, but I am sure there are women walking around in less feminine attire. I would like to work more female items into my "male" presentation but I also would like to be aware of the message I am sending out to those around me. So I guess I am wondering what the other CDs out there think the message received by the public is when we are wearing "girl jeans" or an ambiguous shirt or shoes, and also to the GGs--would you notice that a male has on these things or would it take some really sparkly pockets or pink on your shoes before it caught your attention? To be honest I am always "checking people out" so I tend to think I would notice right away, but that being said I can't remember the last time I noticed a male "semi-crossdressed." Women wearing boyish things I see all the time--and it kills me inside lol!!

[Raychel]

I have to say that I have never really noticed anyone dressed partially in
one genders clothing, there was one time I did see a guy going into the local
outlet mall, dressed in a pink tshirt and hot pink shorts. definitely women's clothes.
It really stood out and was really kinda bazaar.

But women's jeans, other then sometime a design are hard to tell the difference.
And shirts only real difference if where the buttons are.

Now see if I were to go out "semi-crossdressed"
there would be no mistaking it, Nice pretty dress, pantyhose, high heels.
just no wig or makeup. That would make people notice. :heehee:

My uncle wears women's jeans and women's flannel shirts all the time. even an experienced
crossdresser like myself, can't tell the difference. He just looks like a scraggly old guy.

[Maria 60]

I don't know if I don't pay attention or I am blind. Saturday we went out for the day, I was underdressed wearing pantyhose with no socks on and a full slip. My wife went in to a store and I laid on the grass with a lot of other people sitting outside. The way I was sitting there was a lot of pantyhose exposed from the bottom of my pants. Because I wasn't trying to hide it almost no one noticed, I only seen one lady who kind of seen the pantyhose, from behind the slip was showing. When my wife came back she asked me if anyone noticed everything hanging out. I told her not that I know of, she said that I tell her there are so many crossdressers but its like I am the only one in the world, she has never seen any other man wearing fem things under or fem jean or make-up as far as she seen, and she notices everything. She said that I am the only person who wears fem clothing with male clothing.

[Marcelle]

Hello.

Interesting question. I think on some level if you are out with smatterings of femme style clothing mixed with male people probably notice. Of course it would have to do with the extent of the clothing's feminine appearance. If it is more gender neutral people may be thinking "metrosexual". If the CD's male presence presents somewhat feminine (there are some men who could be taken as female on first blush even without make-up or slight make-up) some people might think . . . girl regardless of the attire.

However, if the CDer is like me in male mode - five o'clock shadow at noon, shaved head, mature guy skin with all the blemishes of age and you are wandering around in femme jeans and flats with a bit of lipstick . . . I am guessing people would notice.

The question to ask is . . . Do they care? I think for the most part people get so wrapped up in their own lives and events they may notice and process on some level. However, most people tend not to be intrusive or rude and not likely to rush over and say "Hey dude WTF?". Oh they may think that to themselves and may even tell others "Hey guess what I saw today"

One aspect of human behavior is that most people don't want to draw attention to themselves on the off chance they may wind up embarrassed. Nothing could be worse than confronting a potential CDer with a "WTF moment" only to find out she is a GG. So I think a lot of people will notice but few will be rude about it. I think young teens are more likely to be rude but that is them exploring their own personality and sense of self (okay, some may just be jerks :))

The other thing to remember is that a lot of the posts you read about CDers out in a mix may not report all the bad/awkward moments which may have occurred.

Hugs

Isha

[Jillian Faith]

I'm a people watcher so I typically will pick up on things out of the ordinary pretty quick. Recently while dropping off my truck to be serviced I spotted a guy who was wearing all ladies clothes while presenting as male. Khaki ladies shorts, ladies lavender tank top, feminine sandals and even a sparkly bracelet.

While I support him wearing what he likes I'm not into mixed dressing, I either present as 100% male or female when out in public.

[Frédérique]

...does the average person we encounter really not notice that these are female things we have on(?)

A woman once noticed my female shoes, but she didn't notice I was wearing nylons as well! :doh:

[Brooklyn]

Depending on the situation and how I feel, I often wear makeup and some women's clothing and accessories. Lots of people notice, but hardly anyone cares, and most assume it's a gay thing or whatever. I don't do it for kicks; it's just an important way I have found unity between my male and female sides. Maybe it looks odd, but it's who I am and it makes me happier.

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe u r referring to those who look androgenous, Morgan? I've seen both men and women dressed that way. When I see that look I think, "gay or lesbo". I don't think, "CD or trans".

For me, underdressing, partial dressing, or dressing to blend r pointless. Because I don't like dressing for others. I prefer to see a hot woman I find attractive in my mirror!

[suchacutie]

Because we understand gender presentation I think we have the ability to run under or above the radar. I wear mostly woman's jeans but when I' m my male self there is no feminine bling on those jeans. Moisturizer and such are there to help my complexion. Any mascara is the same color as my lashes applied without making the lashes look any different but uniform color.

We can use what we know to improve both of our gender presentations.

[KC Samanatha]

I like to people watch alot and see a few instances of mixed dressers, but I honestly believe in either presenting female or male. Does a disservice to all CDs/TGs. IMHO

[Barbra P]

This goes back a few years, all the way back to the eighties, I worked for a division of a very large West Coast bank and the dress code was rather conservative. Casual attire, Jeans (no rivets) and a nice sport shirt, was more or less the standard attire for males around the office on those days when bank executives weren’t visiting. When we had visitors a coat and tie was considered the appropriate attire.

The GG I shared an office with noticed that our immediate supervisor, a tall, slender young male, sporting a red beard and mustache was wearing woman’s designer jeans. She noticed because the fly on the jeans faced the wrong way for male jeans. When she commented on this fact he responded that he had been wearing women’s designer jeans for several years because they fit his physique better than male jeans and there were a lot more women’s jeans available without rivets than there were men’s jeans. To the best of my knowledge no one else ever noticed.

So many women’s jeans today have designs with sequins or fancy stitching on the back pockets that it may be more difficult to find women’s jeans that aren’t obviously women’s jeans. Many women’s blouses could pass for a man’s shirt except that they have a dart to better fit a woman’s bust – rather a dead giveaway. I have a number of women’s T-shirts that due to the style of the neck opening could not be viewed as anything but a women’s T-shirt.

At my age I have a rather thick torso and I need a women’s plus size jean but the designers of women’s plus size jeans all seem to think that larger waisted women also have large thighs – I don’t, I still have very nice looking slender legs. I wish I could find a pair of straight legged women’s jeans that fit me without the baggy legs. I love to wear them in drab.

[Chari]

Some CD individuals that are out & about in public many like to just underdress, wear light makeup, and are content presenting that way. Others may try something more daring with both attire and makeup and want to be noticed. It all depends on the individual, the event, and where the CD is comfortable on the gender scale.

[Rogina B]

Half baked..no telling how it will turn out..Those were my words to a male friend that was eager to present "more female" in public..Someone wanting to be a "GFer"..I helped them with their presentation all the time telling them that the average person they would encounter in St Augustine Fl would never understand them.I went on to say that they had better be prepared to have an "embarrassing moment" from time to time with it.I guess that I was viewing half baked presentation as something that could backfire and damage their self confidence if they decided they liked it all and wanted to properly present.But in studying them a bit,they would have to lose 50lbs in order to look presentable,and that isn't happening quickly and the person seems to be quite happy presenting as a gf er. Each to his own!

[Beverley Sims]

If others want to go out half baked that is their decision and they can expect ridicule.
If they are genuinely trying and are large in stature I will try and convince them that it is not a good idea.
I then suggest ways they can satisfy their urge to go outin public.
If they present well I will go out with them and help test the waters.

[Tina_gm]

As CD'ers, we are likely to notice more than the average person. But I would imagine that getting fairly close to a guy who has some make up on (that is not Goth) is going to be noticeable. When I have seen the posts about having female clothing, accessories etc etc... in drab mode, I don't know if I would call that drab. I am not knocking it, but I would say it would be Femm light?

I know it is how dressing in men's clothes is described here, I am fine with it.... but nowadays, I do not see the complaints about how boring and plain mens's clothes are. Quite a lot of choices and styles and colors. Personally when I am in public, my taste in men's clothes is actually fairly masculine and quite conservative. Opening up to the CD world has not changed my regular day to day habits as a guy.

[Rachael Leigh]

Well as I'm one who has done this, yes I'm sure I'm noticed. I'm sure they usually just think I'm gay. I just think I should wear how I feel, if it's considered girly well does that mean a women thinks she a little manly if she wears a sports jersey or mans tee shirt. I'm sure she's just comfortable with what she wears and that's what I try to do.

[AlexisWest]

I've wear nylons of some sort almost every day, and women's loafers for my daily commute. I stop to get gas, coffee, visit a store or whatever without changing, and if someone were paying attention they would/could see. I've yet to have any negative response to what I wear. I do change to guy shoes for work, but wear ankle socks over the nylons and again, if I have to do anything that would cause my pantleg to rise, the hose would be seen.

[Dawn cd]

I've presented as female in the past, but in my senior years I always present as male—with some women's clothing mixed in. You can get away with a lot in New York City. A man with a purse is ignored. Ditto with lightly colored nails. If you throw out too many clues, people will pick up on it, but I try to fly below the radar. It takes a nice sense of balance to go right up to the edge but still present as male.

[linda allen]

If you dress partially as a male and partially as a female, the "message" you are sending out to those around you is that you are pretty strange or gay (not that there's anything wrong with being gay). If that's the message you want to send, it's your right to do so but it may impact on your family or your career unless you're doing it far from home.

When I go out, either as a male or as a female (but never a mixture), I'm not trying to send a message to anyone. I'm just going about my business and I suspect they are going about theirs.

[Allison Quinn]

I go out in male mode wearing my girly sweaters, women's skinny jeans and flats all the time. I even carry a purse and I have never had a single person say a thing to me. At most i've gotten one quick glance from a few people, but that's really it. I've been pushing my limits to see just if anybody would say anything. I've been painting my nails to add to this as a male and again nothing is ever said. NOthing negative anyway, in fact I get compliments from people.

While presenting as male i've had compliments on the minor makeup that I put (foundation, a bit of mascara, eye brightening eye shadow, things like that just natural) on uhm I use a women's wallet too and rather than "you use a women's wallet" it's "that's really cute! I love zelda!" My wallet is obviously a women's one as it's both sparkly and a hinge wallet but people ignore it :P

I'm somewhat on the mentality of people are too busy with their lives to care. I'm polite to anyone I have to interact with as well so there is no reason for them to start up negative comments with me either. Maybe I'm just lucky but it's been a major help for my confidence :P I've come to the conclusion that it is either that people simply don't care, or for the past year that i've been doing this i've gotten lucky every single time. I think I put too much emphasis on things though. I just sort of do what I please now :) I try not to look freakish as well.

[Richelle]

I am one that pushes the fashion trend so that men can ware what is considered to be feminine. I am lucky in that I telecommute every day so what I do ware will not affect my job. So I am able to enjoy having brightly colored nails and ware women’s tops and dangling earrings.

My experience is that people notice, but, I just think that people are much more accepting than they use to be. It is OK to be different. So either they do not say anything or if they do it is a complement. For example, just this weekend I had to deposit a check at my bank. I decided to go to the teller, a young lady in her 20’s. There is no question in my mind that she knew that I as male.

I noticed that she had bright yellow nail polish on. When I complemented her nails, she said thank you and then said she liked by sparkly blue nails. We then started talking about the difference between acrylic vs silk warp and the use of the gel “UV” polish and how well it holds up typing all day.

Richelle

[Jennifer in CO]

pretty much how I present every day. Womens slacks or "dress' jeans, tops/blouse on occasion, and fem shoes with complete under-dressing. The key is they are business casual so there are no real "fem" markers except buttons and flys on the wrong side. Flys i don't think anyone has ever stared at, buttons on the top/blouse they have studied but no comment. I do my job in a professional manner representing my clients, and everyone is happy. I've shared before where I went to s customer's door once and she answered - wearing almost the exact same outfit. Same blouse, similar slacks and same shoes - all black - not a word was said...at that time. I did hear back from the client about 2 weeks later that this customer thought I was extremely professional in my actions/communications and dress.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife worked in retail for 15 years, and she can tell girl clothing from guy clothing at 50 paces. Even subtle differences that I don't pick up on are big tells to her.

There is a guy in her supermarket who almost always dresses androgenously. So I ran a test to see (a) if she noticed and (b) if she cared. So I said, "I was surprised at what K was wearing. At first I thought they were leggings, but when I got closer, I figured out that they were just skinny jeans." Her response, " Oh, K, you can never tell what he will show up wearing.

She was very non-chalent about it. When she saw me out wearing GV jeans, blue and without any bling, she practically ripped me another one once I got home.

As as for K. He's about 6'5". He had to work tom get skinny jeans that would fit him. My guess is that he's a CD.

[Rachel Morley]

Lots of people notice, but hardly anyone cares, and most assume it's a gay thing or whatever.


My experience is that people notice, but, I just think that people are much more accepting than they use to be. It is OK to be different. So either they do not say anything or if they do it is a complement.

These quotes are in essence what I was going to say. I have had people look me up and down in a confused way and also women give me a "knowing smile". However, I think the majority of people do notice a difference but say nothing and I assume (?) they think I am an effeminate gay person or something, I don't know.

Like Richelle, I have had several times women compliment me on my nails and ask me where I got them done. All I wear is either French or American or just shiny clear over long well looked after nails.

[RADER]

I wear Fem Jeans most of the time. Today I had on my jeans, a bra, (No Forms) knee high
nylons, Gym type shoes and a pull over V neck top, a dark blue with lines.
I went out to the hardware store, bought a few items, and came home.
No one noticed a thing. So is that just under dressing, or half dressing?
Rader

[Alexisninsar]

My everyday wear is a combination of the female and male. I underdress, girl jeans; on most day I chose tops that push the boundaries of what is "socially acceptabl when I feel more confident I'll wear some that is defintly female, and small forms when I feel comfortable doing so. I am out to all my friends and family, the only people that don't know are My coworkers, although I think my immediate supervisor might know, but thats a story in it self.
My option the term crossdresser means anyone of an assigned sex wearing clothing designed for the opposite. I know that I may come under fire for that last sentence, but who are we to dictate what is "normal" for our group when we all exist out side of what is defined as "normal".

[CynthiaD]

I've worn all sorts of femme things in male mode: red nail polish, foundation, embroidered jeans, frilly tops, and tons of jewelry. I almost always wear women's flats that couldn't possibly be mistaken for male shoes. I wear pantyhose all the time with these shoes, and it's obvious that I'm wearing them. I always assume that everyone notices. Occasionally someone gives me an odd look, and I've gotten a few comments, most of them complementary. Mostly nobody cares.

Put yourself in the other person's position. Do you really want to waste your time worrying about what some stranger is wearing? Well, neither does anyone else.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Morgan, I always watch what other ladies and men are wearing .
That is where I get so many ideas.