Wanting more

[Steph_CD_62]

I have found myself wanting to dress more often. Currently I am doing a couple times during the week after work and then all day on Sunday.
I have also found myself wanting to go out in public while wearing more undergarments. I wear panties all the time and once in a blue moon I will wear stockings out in public but that is it. I want to know if I went out in public wearing a bra with no padding if anyone would notice.
A couple years ago on one of my wife's and mine shopping trip she told me that she was going to lay out my clothes for me. Since I am not passable as a female I wear my drab clothes over my undergarments. She had a nice teddy, a bra, panties and thigh highs. As I was getting dressed she decided against first the bra then the teddy. She is more afraid of me being caught wearing something than I am.

I guess my questions are is it normal to want to wear more feminine clothing when I am out in public?
And my other question is why does it bother my wife more than me if I get caught out in public?

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Normal. I hear that word used a lot here. I think for people on this forum, wanting to wear a bra is "normal". Wearing feminine clothing is "normal". So I'd say yes, you are normal.

Your wife is concerned about a lot of things. My wife is concerned that when I go out, I'll be beat up, made fun of, etc. She doesn't want me to be hurt in any way. If I am partially dressed, she is concerned how it will affect my job and our children.

Your wife cares about you enough to worry. Enjoy that she loves you enough to be concerned.

[Beverley Sims]

One, it is fairly normal for you to want to do it.
Two, Your wife has her own level of embarrassment to be concerned about.
That is something you should consider.
Especially as she is not totally opposed to your activities.

[Barbra P]

“. . . is it normal to want to wear more feminine clothing when I am out in public?” On any given day there are hundreds of members on the forum and each and every one has their own story and their own wants and desires, i.e. there is no normal. Keep in mind, that a very large segment of the population does NOT view crossdressing as normal.

Once you’ve spent some time here on the forum you’ll learn that some of the members dress literally 24/7 and don’t give a second thought to going out in public. Others dress less frequently but they too regularly venture out. There are members who like yourself under-dress on a regular basis, and members like myself who never under-dress. There are members who dress frequently, maybe even everyday but do so only in the privacy of their own home. I only dress when I can fully dress, bra, panties, top & bottom or dress, shoes, makeup, nail polish, wig, jewelry, and scent, but there are members who only partially dress. So what is normal? I’ll venture a theory that when it comes to crossdressing there is no normal.

“I want to know if I went out in public wearing a bra with no padding if anyone would notice.” The short answer to that question is YES, sooner or later someone will notice. Someone will notice the straps running over your shoulder, or the plastic pieces on the straps, or the outline of the cups, or they will place their hand on your back and feel the bra, to some extent it will depend what you are wearing over the bra, a sweatshirt, sweater, jacket, or coat will hide a bra very well, possibly even if someone places their hand your back. On the other hand a T-shirt doesn’t offer much protection and it is pretty much a foregone conclusion that someone will notice that you are wearing a bra.

“. . . why does it bother my wife more than me if I get caught out in public?” I suspect that your Wife is probably embarrassed to have people know about your crossdressing. I dress on average once a week and while I wouldn’t say that my Wife is really supportive she is tolerant – but she doesn’t like me going out, she doesn’t want me going shopping, doesn’t want me taking the dog for a walk through the neighborhood because she is somewhat embarrassed that I dress. At yesterday’s birthday party for one of our granddaughters’ one of the mothers there was a Mary Kay distributer and I would have loved to have been able to talk cosmetics with her, but my Wife knows her through church so I had to confine my conversations to other topics. I don’t know your age or that of your Wife’s, but I suspect that neither of you would be classified as spring chickens, so I suspect that your Wife grew up in an environment where things like crossdressing weren’t talked about much. If talked about at all it probably wasn’t in a very flattering fashion, it was something weird. I also suspect that your Wife loves you very much, so much that she is willing to set aside what she grew up believing, but she still doesn’t want the world to know that her husband might be a little weird. That might be for both your protection as well as her own – who wants to be known as the lady married to that weirdo.

Crossdressing is an area where most of us have to settle for what we can get rather than what we would like – just like a lot of other areas in our lives. I’d love that new Jaguar Type F, but isn’t going to happen. I’d like to dress a lot more and go out, shopping or to a restaurant, but that too isn’t going to happen – for now I have to settle for one day a week and around the house and yard is going to have to suffice.

[kimdl93]

Its understandable that your wife is being protective of you...that's part of her role...and I would guess that you are protective of her.

My advice is to find some fairly androgynous outer wear. Things you will know are meant for women,but are unlikely to be recognized as such.

[Marcia Blue]

I understand your wife's caution for all the above reasons. Now as far as you wanting to wear more, feminine clothes out in public. Your feminine side is just rearing its glamorous, head. Underdressing is great way to do this. A cami is a great way to start, instead if a bra. Have fun trying new things.

[docrobbysherry]

Here's how I think it works, HMG. We all do whatever we can get away with!

For u, it's under dressing. For others, it's shopping at the mall dressed. For me, it's out looking like a fairy princess! Granted, I don't get that chance very often.

We all have our own limits and other limitations. Relatives and friends r part those limits. As your SO is.

One thing I HAVE discovered: Over time, most of us push against and expand our bounderies. And, I expect u will, too!

[Steph_CD_62]

Thank you for everyone's wonderful answers. I appreciate them very much

[Rachelakld]

Hi, my wife knows that if I'm recognized I could lose my job which would cost us our house, kids will have to leave their good school, also her ex would love nothing better than to trash all her relationships. Just a few reasons why not to dress to close to home

[Barbara Maria]

I can't say much about the wife thing,since my track record isn't the best,but I can say it's perfectly normal to want to dress more.When home alone I'm en femme 24/7,but if I thought I could pass I'd go everywhere dressed.