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Candice Mae
10-01-2013, 09:06 AM
In the past I've tried to feel feminine, but realized its just what we perceive a woman to be in society. We can dress and act "feminine, but what is femininity as a feeling? I ask this to everyone even GG's.

These days even though I look like a woman, I don't know what feeling feminine is. I just am who I am, nothing has changed. I don't go out of my way to act like the stereo typical woman of my age, I just be my self.

What is feeling feminine too you?

Allison Quinn
10-01-2013, 09:25 AM
I tried to act the whole stereo typical way. But that didn't make me feel anymore feminine. Really I started feeling more feminine just when I started to act and dress in a way that I prefer. Being able to express myself as a girl even if I have to appear as a male. I guess I get that feeling just from being myself without fear now :)

cdmorganashley
10-01-2013, 09:37 AM
i think this is a really tough question... i mean it seems to me even a "butch" lesbian, who may act more masculine on the outside still identifies as female so I would assume "feels" feminine... really I don't even know if i can come up with a good answer as i think my perception of feeling feminine is based on stereotypes and outward actions... often i feel like i am living in fear of exposing my true self and when i dress or conduct myself with more grace i feel more at peace that i am being more true to my inner self and i feel sort of relieved and good inside... i'm not sure if that means it is a feeling of femininity but because i associate the actions that give the feeling with females i kinda see it that way...

Kate Simmons
10-01-2013, 09:43 AM
Just being myself, especially if en femme but as has been said in the past on here, even most women don't have a clue what it is to feel feminine, they just know what it feels like to be themselves as a feminine person, if that makes any sense. I guess it does if you happen to be a woman. ;):battingeyelashes::)

Kelliramerez
10-01-2013, 10:05 AM
Now you got me thinking : ). Hmmmmmm

Abigail Flame
10-01-2013, 10:31 AM
I've been thinking about this very topic. I recently became interested in mindfulness and started practicing meditation, along with that came a lot of awareness of my actual feelings and how often I was tamping down or suppressing them because of ingrained ideas of how I should behave. As I gradually started learning more and more about myself I realized that a lot of the way I felt might be taken as more "feminine" and by that I mean - showing empathy, showing genuine emotions, and being sensual. In other ways it seemed to be present in the things I was most attracted to - colors, designs, clothing, etc. These things have always been present I just never was able to own them as much as I do now. I am still a little guarded when it comes to just releasing all the fem that might be inside but a lot more of me has begun to slip out into my guy persona and I've noticed nothing but positive things as a result. My kids are better behaved, people seem friendlier and life seems like a much more positive experience.

So I am aware of a big divide between feeling masculine and feeling feminine even if they are stereotypical and maybe that will all fade into one as I accept more of myself.

Jaylyn
10-01-2013, 10:53 AM
Tough question to answer. For me sometimes I can just put on a layer of deep red creamy lipstick and aroma and feel of it on my lips makes me feel aroused in my senses of being more like a women looks. Sometimes just a pair of panty hose under my jeans can make me feel sensual all day and I associate sensuality with womanhood. My wife says she can tell for a few days after I dress because I get more patient and warm to sensations that she says are feminine emotions. She actually said my outlook on others feelings are better now that I dress some. I guess really my deeper soul relates dressing as a softer person in feelings and emotions. If that is what being feminine is then I can say it has helped me be a better person on the outside even when I am in man mode. One big thing I have noticed about me is that I have changed in being patient with others. I use to have trouble tolerating those that couldn't keep up with my work ethics. I expected every one to preform as I strived for perfection in every task I took on. Since I retired and have time to dress more I am finding that the inner drive to be the best at every thing is subsiding and I am more accepting of others or caring of others feelings. I am 64 and this might just be age coming about but wife thinks it is because I have gotten in touch with my feminine side.

mariehart
10-01-2013, 11:40 AM
I don't know about feeling feminine because I for one have never felt masculine. So for me I guess feeling feminine is the absence of feeling masculine. I think in the end my acceptance of myself came when I realised that.

NicoleScott
10-01-2013, 12:03 PM
In the mind of the beholder, to some extent. Otherwise, we end up arguing over definitions (and we never do that here - haha).

Here's what a few dictionaries have to say:
"Characterized by or possessing qualities generally attributed to a woman...", such as... "gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, caring, sweetness, compassion..."
"A set of attributes, behaviors, and roles generally associated with girls and women".

For me, I like being a guy and I like to dress up occasionally. As close as I can come to feeling feminine is when I transform. It would probably be more accurate to say I feel pretty rather than feminine. According to those definitions above, I do a feminine behavior when I crossdress, and that's as close as I can come.

Frédérique
10-01-2013, 12:13 PM
We can dress and act "feminine, but what is femininity as a feeling?

Beats me. I just like to wear women’s clothing. Why complicate things any further? :idontknow:

kimdl93
10-01-2013, 12:33 PM
This comes up from time to time. And its seems to me an impossible question to answer. I know how I feel...but i don't think adopting affectations of clothing, mannerisms nor voice can alter the way I feel - only the way I'm perceived, and that only to a small degree.

It seems entirely presumptuous to suggest that I "feel" like a woman...in the Shania Twain sense or otherwise!

Beverley Sims
10-01-2013, 12:42 PM
Feeling feminine for me, is more the company I keep and the surroundings I live in.
Pink curtains cute dresses and high heels tend to strip the male image away a bit.
As do talking about makeup instead of cars.

rita63
10-01-2013, 01:12 PM
I am not used to being out dressed. My first extended time was last June at the Pride celebrations. I was dressed and was rita with some friends all weekend. On Sun. I marched in the parade and met a GG and afterward we went back to a meeting (AA). We were both hungry and wanted to go to the final meeting later so we found some dinner together. I found myself fumbling, treating her as though I was a man meeting a woman while she was treating me as a girlfriend, including the invitation to the ladies room. I declined.

I wish it was as simple as Fredrique says above.
"Beats me. I just like to wear women’s clothing. Why complicate things any further? "

I'm of to another LBGT AA event in 2 weeks and am registered as rita and will be dressed the whole time, including the banquet and dance on Sat. I"ve never been dancing en femme and didn't dance much as a man. Its been a few years since I went somewhere sober too.
I am 64 like Jaylin but separated, not retired, so I can dress at home as I like. I am out more and more with support groups and socializing.
I'm just not sure what it means to act femme but it feels good to be learning if confusing and puzzling.

hugs rita

Chickhe
10-01-2013, 01:20 PM
It is a great question. You often hear people say they need to dress...can't stop. But, if you wrap your brain around the idea that it is all in your head and realize your thoughts are private and your appearance is what other people see, then you can be anything you want and you don't even have to change your appearance. Its a great solution if you can't physically dress, to just think int he gender of your choice.

but...I think there is more. There is a visual part, it is seeing yourself as another gender which seems to 'click' and feels right. I don't know if I feel like a female, but I feel feminine when I dress and I think I may feel what a woman feels when she dresses the same way, but it doesn't mean I feel everything she does... to me, after much thought, I think dressing is a means to escape, why I choose to CD to do that...no idea.

Marcelle
10-01-2013, 01:26 PM
Ah . . . What came first the "chicken or the egg" or in this case "masculinity or femininity"?

A good observation was made by the OP in that it is likely we go about emulating femininity in the guise of what society perceives to be femininity. I think Nicole gave and excellent dictionary definition

"Characterized by or possessing qualities generally attributed to a woman...", such as... "gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, caring, sweetness, compassion..."
"A set of attributes, behaviors, and roles generally associated with girls and women".

Empathy, caring, compassion . . . aren't those good characters in any person (male or female). So if you are a caring, empathetic, gentle, sensitive guy . . . guess what, you are acting in society's definition of femininity. The rest is packaging and presentation.

I personally don't try to get to wrapped up in the masculine vs. feminine thing as the lines have blurred between those two concepts so IMHO all bets are off in trying to act feminine . . . just be a good person, care for others, be sensitive and kind and guess what . . . you are there. Remember this is not about "gender" it is about behavior.

Hugs

Isha

ReineD
10-01-2013, 01:45 PM
In the past I've tried to feel feminine, but realized its just what we perceive a woman to be in society.

This is so very perceptive! Women do get portrayed in a rather stereotypical way and those who don't fit the stereotypes aren't thought of as much when people think "Woman".

What is feeling feminine to me? I can't say that it's about the clothes. I feel just as feminine when I'm in old jeans painting a room as when I'm all dressed up to go out. I do feel prettier and more fashionable when I'm all dressed up with makeup on, but not more feminine. It's hard to explain. I can't say it is about my life preferences, since I love to work with my hands. I paint and draw and this extends to being creative in other ways from laying tile to fixing things, or cooking a gourmet meal and none of these activities make me feel more or less feminine than when I'm putting my makeup on. I can't say that it's about feeling somehow emotionally meeker (or weaker) than men. I am proud to be a strong, independent and capable female, and I feel just as feminine when doing physically demanding things or when I'm facing tough emotional times (even though I do cry sometimes), as I do when I'm not facing any of those things. And last, I can't say that it's about my ability to feel my feelings, or be sympathetic, sensitive, or nurturing, since the men that I know are able to feel this way too and I feel just as feminine caring for a child as I do when I'm angry.

I can say though that fundamentally, the differences are purely physical. I feel utterly feminine in my body ... what it looks like, what it can do, the various erogenous zones that I have. To a much lesser degree, I notice gender differences when I compare my upper body strength to a man's. Sometimes I do need help to do something that exceeds my personal strength level. And last, if I lived alone on an island I don't think that I would feel any particular sense of gender since I would not be in a position to compare myself to others around me. This means that I do feel feminine when I contrast my physical self (my looks and my biological functions) to a man's. Being aware of this I think makes me feel the most feminine of all, especially when I'm near men and I'm sensing the testosterone.

When do I feel most feminine of all? When I'm straight out of the shower and I'm not rushing to get dressed and get on with my day or evening. At that time I am most aware of everything that I've described in the paragraph above.

tiffanyjo89
10-01-2013, 02:17 PM
I think Reine touched on an important point, women who are perceived to be more feminine seem to be more at ease and more willing to slow down and explore themselves and things around them. Men who are perceived to be more masculine seem to be more "in charge" of things and less willing to just slow down and explore their feelings in a situation and how they fit into a situation.

Veronica27
10-01-2013, 02:32 PM
This whole subject is why I prefer to speak of and refer to the absolutes rather than the abstracts. I am a man and for whatever reason (there are numerous ones), I like to sometimes dress up in women's clothing. Masculinity and femininity are so subjective that no definitive explanation is possible.

I especially liked the concise nature of Freddy's reply as well as the more detailed explanation of Reine, who more than most of us should be able to tell us what being feminine actually "feels" like. As she implies, perhaps it does have more to do with the physical than with anything else.

Veronica

Dani0948
10-01-2013, 03:07 PM
Of course I don't really know what it is to feel feminine, but I know that I feel really different when I'm dressed. Maybe this is the best we can expect.

Lorna
10-01-2013, 03:49 PM
I don't think I can feel anything other than my normal self so, for me, it is purely the physical sensations produced by the clothing. However, I suspect that on the masculine-feminine scale I am probably further towards the F end than some of my more M friends.

Allesandra Rhodes
10-01-2013, 05:01 PM
I actually had to Google a definition that might make sense. In one definition it discussed feeling soft and loving as well as sensuous. A sparkle, a mood etc.. Not very helpful..

In another I found the following:




Feminine nature is a combination of three distinct character traits that we
normally see in women. Since we are so good at juggling roles in a day, most
women will have no issues switching between being womanly, ladylike and girly.
Read on to know how and when to be each of these.



Womanly

The character traits of a woman are compassion, patience, being a good
listener and being unconditional about giving love. The womanly qualities should
come out when in the company of close family, younger siblings and cousins,
children of friends, and also with your spouse. Here’s how to be
womanly:


When in the company of youngsters, without compromising on your seniority, listen to the issues they face. Never, under any circumstance, try to be
patronizing – only men pass judgments without thinking about anybody else’s
feelings! Make the youngsters feel that they can trust you with their personal
feelings. If the need arises, offer a shoulder to cry on.
When in the company of your own family, help your mother in whatever she does, be gentle and caring with your younger siblings and respectful towards the
older ones. Do little things for both your parents – bring them gifts when you
come over and show that, after all, “… a daughter is a daughter till the end of
life.”
When in the company of your in-laws, be considerate about the various members – ask after their health and offer to help them in case they need it.
Treat your in-laws as your own family members and show patience with them. If
they are critical of you, show control and consideration, while at the same
time, maintain your own individuality. Never fight with your mother-in-law over
your husband – in fact never fight with any woman for a man!
When in the company of children, be genuinely affectionate and try to keep pace with their imagination. If a child is crying and needs attention,
immediately entertain him/her. If you find two children fighting, try to solve
the fight in a completely impartial way and make sure they do not fight again.
Try not to shout at either of them, in any circumstance.
Ladylike

A lady possesses grace, poise, elegance, control, intellect and
individuality. It is best to be ladylike in the company of unrelated men and
women, or the kind who may scrutinize you too much. Here’s how to be
ladylike:


When in the company of unrelated men and women, say at a social gathering or party; sit in just the right posture – the kind that reveals comfort, poise and
confidence.
Make eye contact with everyone and be genuinely polite with all of them. Do not raise your voice too high, show too much emotion; maintain control and grace
under all circumstances.
Make sure your attire suits the occasion – it should be flattering, but not too tight; comfortable but not too baggy.
When being talked to, make sure you listen intently and do not cut anybody short. This is a quality that is associated with a good debater – women often
end up cutting short their opponents in a debate, which is seen as unsporting
and unladylike. When the person has finished speaking, then begin to say.
Do not resort to the use of abusive language under any circumstances – only sailors use such language!
Educate yourself and be independent. It is the new addition to feminine behavior that is slowly gaining acceptance; as far as possible, try to manage
without a man – be it for taking decisions about your life or doing stuff around
the house and outside.
Have the reins of your life in your own hands, even as you take the opinions of the various people who matter to you. Do not, under any circumstances, hand
over the remote control of your life to anyone else, not even your parents,
least of all to your spouse or in-laws.
Even if you are hurt by the comment a man makes, smile or laugh off the comment. Men are so insecure they may eventually apologize!
Girlish

Girlish or girly behavior is associated with the qualities of playfulness,
loving yourself for what you are, enjoying every moment of being a woman and
taking care of your body. One can be girlish in the company of close friends,
especially female friends, when with oneself and when alone with the
spouse.


When with your girlfriends, have a sense of humour – laugh at yourself and take life as less seriously as possible. There are too many problems to worry
about – these are a few moments in which you can enjoy being yourself.
Love your body and take care of it. Exercise regularly, not to be thin, but to be fit. Enjoy your favourite foods, but in control and take care of your skin
and hair – they are those that make you truly beautiful and also reveal the good
health or ill health.
Listen to music when all alone and, if possible sway or dance to it, just as a way of celebrating your personhood and feminity. Feel completely comfortable
with your body and learn to love it just the way it is. Remember, the topmost
models are the biggest victims of body image disorders and cannot love their
bodies the way you can. Thank your luck for it.
When alone with your spouse, be playful and flirtatious. Remind him of the times you were dating. This way, you will find that the love you are giving is coming back to you manifold and will only help you love yourself
more.

Now that's not my personal feelings just a quoted page (http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/how-to-be-more-feminine-7640.html)

But how does that pertain to me? Well I find my feminine side extends in all three of these aspects at certain times. Quite often I am inside one of these groups no matter where I happen to be. Now does this mean that all GG's will agree these are the correct definitions? Uhm prolly not. I don't either, but it helps to convey a little more about the definition of femininity that we're discussing. So take what you read and keep only the parts you relate to, the rest can be chucked out and replaced by what makes you feel feminine.

Because in all honesty it really is not just a feeling but a complete experience. And everyone experiences something differently in their own way.

LilSissyStevie
10-01-2013, 06:10 PM
I think that for those of us that were socialized into masculinity, we associate its opposite with femininity. For example, boys are told that they should be brave. If a boy happens to not feel particularly brave then he is a sissy, pantywaist, pussy, fairy - all names having "feminine" connotations. On the other hand, girls aren't socialized this way at all. A girl can be brave or not and it has nothing to do with her "feeling feminine." She won't be called a dyke or even a tomboy just for being brave.

I believe what many of us call "feeling feminine" is just feeling, in a positive way, emasculation. Emasculation is not equal to femininity, it's the opposite of masculinity. Any resemblance to femininity is superficial - like the clothes. There's nothing wrong with that. Masculinity (or femininity) is a straitjacket that is assigned at birth according to genitalia. It has nothing to do with natural inclinations. Some of us are naturally masculine for the most part but need to take a little vacation from it sometimes and some of us find masculinity to be, to borrow a phase or two out of context from the poet Allen Ginsberg, "the incomprehensible prison ... the cross-bone soulless jailhouse and congress of sorrows." So "feeling feminine" has more to do with feeling un-masculine than it has to do with feeling the way GGs do.

DeniseNJ
10-02-2013, 07:24 AM
You girls have put a high degree of thought into this Question. To sum it up it is the feeling that we want to feel when we are accepted in society. The feeling we want to feel when we put on make-up and dress up as to portray in a more female appearance. The feeling of knowing at the time you do not wish to be preceived and a man but as a woman.

ReineD
10-02-2013, 10:20 AM
So "feeling feminine" has more to do with feeling un-masculine than it has to do with feeling the way GGs do.

So true, Stevie. You've encapsulated it. Not feeling masculine is not the same as feeling the way we GGs feel.

vallerie lacy
10-02-2013, 10:40 AM
Something that I will never achieve to the level I would want to. But I can still fantasize. That said, anybody seen my bright red lipstick?

Mistress Roxy
10-02-2013, 10:41 AM
Femininity is an ilussion. A way of dressing, making up, sitting down, walking, talkin’ about..etc.. For decades, that concept was immediately associated with “beauty” (because it is really beautiful, this is my personal point of view) And this sort of beauty is only for females. When we, women, think about how to look sexy for our boyfriends or husbands, there is not a large difference between our ways and those of a crossdresser in front of her mirror .

Some years ago, there was a deep gap between masculine and femenine behaviour. Most of us were grown up in that world…or at least, we have seen it in films. This is inside our consciousness. That gap today is too much narrower (sadly for me) but we still identify femininity with the ilussion of who walks in heels with the lipstick in her purse.

I play in the GG’s team who still likes that old classical femininity. So I understand perfectly the man’s sensual sensation during dressing and how he wants to reach that ideal of femininity.

MatildaJ.
10-02-2013, 11:20 AM
Personally, I'd be happier if people didn't talk about feeling "feminine" but tried to be more specific. I think we can all agree that feeling "cute" is different from feeling "sexy"; likewise "nurturing" is different from "cuddly." If someone wants to feel elegant, that's very different from wanting to feel playful and creative. I totally appreciate a guy wanting to feel glamorous, and getting a cocktail dress that makes him feel glamorous -- I just don't think that "feminine" is a word that helps convey much meaning.

Sissy_Michelle
10-02-2013, 02:07 PM
What is feeling feminine too you?

Very good question. Unless you're doing something chemically to alter how you think I don't believe you'll really know. Unless you spend a lot of time with women, have studied how GGs reacts during certain moods or situations. You will only feel as you would feel in the same situations or moods.

I know not a good answer but, this question I will have to think about for a bit.

melanie206
10-02-2013, 02:44 PM
As someone said, I think "feeling feminine" is subjective and also unique to the person with the feelings.

Tina_gm
10-02-2013, 03:02 PM
Personally, I'd be happier if people didn't talk about feeling "feminine" but tried to be more specific. I think we can all agree that feeling "cute" is different from feeling "sexy"; likewise "nurturing" is different from "cuddly." If someone wants to feel elegant, that's very different from wanting to feel playful and creative. I totally appreciate a guy wanting to feel glamorous, and getting a cocktail dress that makes him feel glamorous -- I just don't think that "feminine" is a word that helps convey much meaning.
Probably because it is so subjective. What makes me feel more feminine or triggers it may not do so for other CD's, and vice versa. ( in reality I am certain there are quite a few similarities, but to make a point there is truth though)

RenieD makes great observations about how when she does any particular task that is either typically female or not typically female oriented, it doesn't change her. I would think that is true of most Cisgender people. But of those who reside somewhere in the middle, what we do, or our environment and surroundings can bring on (at least for me) a "different" feeling. When I am doing typical "man" chores, I typically feel masculine. Strong, able, I enjoy certain tasks. I enjoy feeling powerful.

Doing less typical "man" chores, or say being around several women chatting away about typical things oriented to women, watching a chick flick.... I can relate to them in ways most men can't. I can empathize to the women's particular plight or situation in a movie. For instance.... one time my wife and I were watching a movie and some young girl was being chased by a psycho guy. She was wearing very tall heels. I think for the sake of comedy she struggled in them to get away. Looked very cute, funny and obviously in a feminine way. Now, my wife blurts out, "I'd be taking those heels off." I was thinking that to myself. How many guys are going to be thinking that? So in some ways it is a connection that we CD'ers can make that the typical guy could not.

Of course there are many tactile ways in which we feel feminine. Walking in heels, dresses or skirts. Those may not make a cisgendered person feel different, but a genderfluid person is likely to feel different depending on the clothes they wear. Of course, there is the motivation to put them on in the 1st place. And that often is knowing the comfort or enjoyment of wearing something that has a distinct feel to it that is different then that of their birth gender clothes .

Jackie7
10-02-2013, 03:25 PM
My wife has a lot of attention on her wardrobe, her linen closet, and her kitchen. To her these are womanly activities, female nesting and nurturing behavior. I do most of the cleaning -- my version of nesting -- and have a lot of attention on my pretty girl clothes, with rather less for my drab garb. My wife finds this annoying and encourages me to dress better as a man, and take better care of my guy clothes.

Many CDs share with most women the very human behavior of checking one's own appearance in every mirror, and of taking pleasure in one's female presentation. Is this feminine?

suchacutie
10-02-2013, 03:44 PM
Fascinating thread. It's clear that there is no one answer but, like everything with crossdressing, there is a spectrum of answers. After some thought, I think I can safely say that my feelings of being feminine are an extrapolation of Tina's activities and feelings being those she perceives of the women around her. That clearly includes all the trappings of the illusion of femininity we generate, and those feelings are strong. Walking in 4" heels with a skirt swishing as we walk with stockings and breastforms moving appropriately most certainly changes mind and body.

But textures and deportment are only the beginning. There's voice and language to consider. Then there are the ways women interact with each other, what they say, how they say it, and understanding what might be important to the women around us that the men around us couldn't care less about. My wife has worked hard with Tina about these things, giggling at how inept Tina could be about these last topics. It's so complicated, but the mixture of these very emotional ideas are what we perceive as femininity in ourselves and those around us. It may only be our imaginations, but they are strong imaginations.

Wanna be Heather
10-02-2013, 03:54 PM
You know what, since I started dressing I became more aware of female views, I understand my wife better and became closer than ever. What helped is her support of me dressing. She understands my needs to feel feminine without fear of losing the man she married. We talk a lot about styles, matching clothes, etc... In a nutshell by expressing the feminine side made better husband.

deebra
10-02-2013, 04:15 PM
Mavbe i'm different than the rest, putting on a bra, forms, panties and heels transforms me from male to feminine, the more I put on the more feminine I feel.

Silentpartner GG SO
10-02-2013, 04:31 PM
Well I have no idea what 'feminine' feels like, I dont feel feminine, masculine or anything - I just feel like me - I dont sit and ponder whether what I am wearing is feminine, I just pick out clothes for the day which suit the activities of the day.

I dont own more than 1 dress, I have no skirts, I have lots of trousers and jeans, T-shirts, causal clothes - I've never, ever, been mistaken for a guy and even if I was, I dont think I'd give a damn !

hallie
10-02-2013, 05:00 PM
What is feeling feminine too you?

Well I know there are certain things I do as a guy that I wouldn't as a girl and visa versa. Certain words, phrases, mannerisms that I control when I'm in boy mode.

So feeling fem to me is when Ilet go of all that and just start having fun, being happy, fun, talk about things, put on cute clothes, shopping.....there are so many things that makes me feel fem. Even when I'm not dressed up.

It kind of just comes with what I like, what I surround myself with (and what kind of panties I put on that day).

Like Candice said its more about being yourself and having fun. Dont try and "act fem" its an act and you look silly haha. Not all girls are super girly and fem themselves....just be who you feel inside and let it come naturally instead of forcing it. There are obviously more feminine traits that you can work on (like being more chatty and less "conclusive" about conversations) that will help you feel more fem without having to "act" fem. Thats up to you tho!! :D

MissJoanne
10-02-2013, 06:33 PM
Mavbe i'm different than the rest, putting on a bra, forms, panties and heels transforms me from male to feminine, the more I put on the more feminine I feel.

That's how I am. Femininity begins with the underthings and prostheses. It goes on from there.

Rachel Morley
10-02-2013, 07:39 PM
What is feeling feminine too you?
IMHO when a woman is "being feminine" it can displayed in many ways, yes it could be that she looks pretty but it could also be as a quiet strength, she is self confident, or nurturing, or caring, loving, tender, etc but this alone doesn't define femininity as a woman can also be tough and stand on her own two feet, take care of herself and her own, if she needs to and that doesn't detract from her femininity. To me, femininity is showing all these things but displaying them in a way that is different to how a man might show them. That is the essence to femininity.

To answer the question in the above quote, to me, "feeling feminine" comes from inside and so IMHO, in theory, anyone can be it or feel it. If I try to think of a time when I really felt feminine, then it happened twice. One time was when I was having dinner with my wife and her friend and as we went to leave the restaurant the waiter took my coat and held it open for me to put my arms in, me! not my wife or her friend, but me! I felt all soft and squigy inside and I felt like I was being treated like a real lady ... by a gentleman.

The other time was when my wife and I were at a bridal store trying on lots and lots of dresses for a wedding (we were both going to be bridesmaids). I was surrounded by what I thought was the lioness den, full of everything that is so not what men do. I was also being fussed over by two young GGs who were helping me into and out of the gowns. I could have swooned I was so happy. I felt so girly (feminine?).

BLUE ORCHID
10-02-2013, 08:12 PM
Hi Candice, I guess that looking feminine will have to do.

sometimes_miss
10-03-2013, 02:43 PM
While I cannot tell you exactly what it feels like to 'feel femininie', I can tell you what disappeared when I was alone and dressed as a girl.
Whenever I'm with my guy friends, there's always a degree of competitiveness there as to who's the most masculine guy, and it never goes away. There's a pecking order; who's the toughest, who's the most financially successful, who's having sex with the most women, who's got the biggest dick, etc.. And it's like a storm cloud that hangs over us whenever we are together. Also, it's a life that we feel we must minimize any connection with what are traditionally woman's concerns, lest we get labeled as weak, 'whipped', submissive, faggy, etc..
When I was alone, dressed as a girl, all that went away. What I focused on was how I felt, what I wore, things that made me feel that I was attractive (whether I was or not), it was how I felt in response to the tactile and visual feedback I was getting from being dressed and made up as a girl. In contrast to how I felt forced into feeling when 'acting the part of a guy', as a girl I could focus on how I really felt, about love, the relationships I wanted to have, the need for affection, the desire for the people I cared for to be happy even if it meant that it wasn't going to be me that they would be having that happy life with. And one other huge thing; as I spent a lot of time at home, alone, dressed and feeling the escape from the 'responsibilities and duties of a man', when watching a movie, or reading a book with a particularly emotionally sad scene in it, I could let the tears flow freely, something I've never been able to do as a guy. That was something that I've always felt that I had to do, shut off the emotions. Because as much as women SAY that it's o.k. for a man to cry, it's still not something they want to see.
I understand that it's something deeply ingrained, that evolution has instilled certain behaviors and feelings into us that has enabled our dna combinations to succeed where others have failed.
But turning off the emotions takes a toll on me, and I believe THAT is one huge difference between how it is to feel masculine or feminine; a woman is more free to display her emotions. A man is not.

rita63
10-03-2013, 03:28 PM
I like what Dani says

" Of course I don't really know what it is to feel feminine, but I know that I feel really different when I'm dressed. Maybe this is the best we can expect"

Since I became more serious about my dressing its become a journey of exploration, of exploring those feelings that are really different and going where they take me. After 64 years I find the differences between men and women exist more for the convenience of marketers trying to sell you something than in the reality of peoples lives.

I'm just going out and trying to find the side of myself that loves feminine things and be happy with who I am.

hugs rita