3rd person references to our female names?

[cdmorganashley]

So I am seeing that so many times in posts there are references to the dressers female persona as though it is a separate entity from the male persona... is this something more common with CDs and not with transsexuals? Or maybe just why do people do this? I have to say I do not view myself dressed as a female as being different from myself dressed as a male in terms of my mental state... I mean obviously the appearance is different but I feel I am the same me, or maybe even more me than when I am in male mode but its not like a different personality or anything like that... so I would say that I view my female name as what my chosen name would be and my male name as my birth name, but I don't consider myself two identities (male name) and Morgan... it's just me... maybe the way I see some members on here using the 3rd person in this way don't feel it signifies anything but it interested me how it happens, anyway, I would appreciate people sharing their views on this...

[Lorileah]

Lori agrees with you

[wanagione]

Although I do separate the male and female at times, not often, to make a point and when I talk to my wife. I'll say I'm having an Amy day today. But in my heart and soul I am Amy. There is no distintion between my male and female side.

[cdmorganashley]

You're too funny Lori =P

[Chari]

Perhaps it is like saying "there are two sides to every story", or as in the novel Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde! Both are real and viewed by others as who they really are at that moment. It is best to enjoy both sides of our entire being.

[robindee36]

I do this on occasion but have no real justification for it. Perhaps we that are not FT must live a dual existence. As such, one of the identities may, correctly, refer to the other in the third person. There are certain traits and characteristics of each identity and, in my case, quite different tastes ;)

When you refer to transsexuals, I assume this means girls in transition; on HRT; living FT; awaiting SRS; etc. In these cases there is only one persona to deal with which should make things a bit easier.

Does this make sense??? I would appreciate a sanity check on my thinking. Might be a low oxygen situation here in the closet, again.

Hugs, Robin

[kimdl93]

Kim concurs. On a related matter...ever try writing in second person? you should!

[Laura912]

I am referred to by my name when my evil twin is speaking with his wife who is my SO.

[robindee36]

Kim, writing in third person is the topic as I understood it. First person is Robin; second person is the male persona who refers to her in the third person. Lets see, first person; second person; third person. What the heck, we've got a trio. Unfortunately, none of me has musical talent, boo hoo.

Hugs, Robin

[SometimesJen]

I'm a cd, not a transsexual. Short of losing a few pounds, I have no desire to change my anatomy. I also feel the same... as just me... whether I'm (male name) or Jennifer but sometimes my priorities, thoughts, and actions change so I use the different names to help distinguish how I feel at the time. A couple years ago these two views were more distinct, but they're gradually becoming closer and more in sync so sometimes I consciously debate how to refer to myself at a given moment.

[Dani0948]

Robin, you're on the right track. Being in the closet creates 2 modes of thinking. When I'm dressed I feel all girly. When I'm in guy mode I want to get dressed.

[kimdl93]

I am referred to by my name when my evil twin is speaking with his wife who is my SO.

Sounds like the makings of an HBO series ;)

[suchacutie]

I can only explain my situation as bi-gendered. My two gendered selves have some similarities, but also many many differences. We have come to identify certain characteristics of my two selves and we use my two names to identify those characteristics. My two selves can, and have, look at situations and make two different decisions depending upon which gender we have asked to consider the situation.

The best description about this that I can imagine is, "two apps working off of the same database". We have one brain (database) but we use that brain differently. Tina finds it really annoying to be drawn into a "male" life situation because she feels so out of character, but she can access those ideas if she must. Likewise my male self can try to determine how Tina might act in a certain situation.

It's not simple, but this duality has made many life situations much clearer and understandable!

[Allesandra Rhodes]

Lol @ Lori, you beat me to that.

Well I never have had an issue, whatever I'm called it's just me. I prefer the female name obviously and internally I don't relate to my boi name. I think it's more towards CDers using both. Trans-girls are really headed away from the previous male label/name and don't associate with it much for anything. Why should they? Then again it's down to personal choices. One or the other or both or combinations thereof. In the end there's still one person.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, I think she's the same as me but Kate kind of sees it differently. When she goes out to dance and socialize, she has most of the fun and I just kind of tag along. It could be due to the fact that we enrolled in Dr. Doom's assertiveness course. In that we learned that Doom does this and Doom does that but Victor doesn't do much of anything. Doom blames it totally on Richards--Richards!!!:heehee::)

[AmyGaleRT]

I sometimes refer to Amy in the third person, but it's mostly just a shorthand way of saying "my Amy-self." Which is to say "me," as the two halves of myself are one and inseparable. I might be referring to something I'd be doing when in Amy-mode, however.

My fiancee has picked up the habit to some extent. In a recent text exchange, she lamented that a certain HolyClothing tunic wasn't in her size, then suggested, "Amy could get it though." Actually, she couldn't, though, it was too small for her. I noted that Amy's bust size was 52 inches, and she responded "Really thought she was smaller oh well."

- Amy

[Yolanda_Voils]

There is two people here, when I'm in female mode, I am 100% Yolanda.
When dressed "endrabbe" I'm 100% male.

This may explain why the 3rd person reference.

[Rachelakld]

Depends, currently I'm writing on Rachels behalf as my personality is still I male mode, if I give my sub-personality "Rachel" some time (normally once or twice a week), she would write it as I.
I switch to girl mode when writing my blog and sometimes here, but a bit busy today.

[AllieSF]

I occasionally refer top Allie (me en femme) as a third person, but very rarely. Here is what it is like when way over done!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apa0nG1OfUc

[melanie206]

Like Amy says, it's just a convenient reference. Instead of saying, "I have not been out en femme for awhile" or however you might say it, it's easy and accurate to say "Melanie has not been out for awhile". Efficient and sadly true.

[vallerie lacy]

I find it to be very convenient using third person references. If I don't get things done around the house that my wife asked me to do, I'll just blame Vallerie. Sorry honey, Vallerie said she would do that. When I realized she didn't do it, I sent her to bed without dinner. Perhaps a new pair of heels might give her an incentive to get things done.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Morgan, The only reason That Blue Orchid exists was because I need a name on the forum.

Oh well, I guess that was third person wasn't it ??

[Beverley Sims]

As a CDer we can take an individual stance on the issue.
Someone undergoing transition has more than likely severed relations with any male persona.

[heatherdress]

I heard that Heather agrees, too.

[Barbra P]

Referring to our female persona in the third-person just makes it easier to convey which persona we are referring to; I wouldn’t read too much into the use of third-person narrative. Sometimes a pipe is just a pipe (Sigmund Freud – often misquoted as sometimes a cigar is just a cigar).

Third-person narrative makes it easier to tell a story where both the male and female personas are involved. Frequently I’ll write that I did this or that or went here en femme but sometimes that becomes awkward. Rather than continually clarify for the reader which persona I’m referring to I’ll just swith to the third-person narrative when referring to female persona. It becomes “I” did this or that when referring to me (my male self) and Barbra did this or that when referring to my female self. I could write that I was outside en femme when the next door neighbor came over and we chatted, or I can say that I was outside en femme when the next door neighbor came over and she and Barbra had a long chat; or I could write that I went to see my Therapist en femme, but I could also write that I went as Barbra to see my Therapist.

[mariehart]

Yes I did notice this when I first went to a CD group. As everyone was getting ready several constantly spoke about their female side in the third person. One said, 'Tonight I'm taking Susie to the this pub.' It puzzled me at first assuming he had a girlfriend. But it was his female persona.

For me there is no differentiation. I use Marie as a feminine name because I like it and I suspect if I'd been born a girl I would have been called Mary, so it almost fits. Also, my given name is actually both female and male with slightly different spellings but I want to get away from it.

[Devi]

It serves a useful purpose on several occasions. For example with GG SO and I are out shopping with me in drab and she finds something she'd like on me, she'd say 'I think this would look great on Devi. Shall I go try it on and see if would suit her ?' (she's somewhat close to my size and can estimate if it would fit). We've done that a couple of times, especially to pick matching outfits - she tried on one her size and one mine, and referred to my femme persona while we chatted about it outside the changing room, and none of the other women around seemed to have figured out what was going on :-)

[carhill2mn]

I sometimes use the third-person to convey to others how I was presenting at the time so that the context is properly understood.

Re: different personalities: my femine personality is somewhat different from my male personality. I consider my "personality" to be a part of the image I am presenting, be it male or female.

[Jaymees22]

Oh No,There's a third person, I'm confused enough with the two I'm dealing with already! Jaymee

[arbon]

is this something more common with CDs and not with transexuals? .

Yes, you don't hear it much with transsexuals, even before transition.
Though prior to transition, when I was moving in that direction, my wife referred to "her" as someone separate from me.
Now I notice I often refer to myself in the third person in regards to my past, as does my wife. When talking about the past its "him, he"

[robindee36]

Robin, you're on the right track. Being in the closet creates 2 modes of thinking. When I'm dressed I feel all girly. When I'm in guy mode I want to get dressed.

Seems we think quite alike Dani, and its a lot about dressing. I just love being a girl. Just never seem to have enough time, or as much as I would like ;)

Hugs, Robin

[Catherine Hopkins]

I'm me 24/7 - but I send my evil older brother out to work so I can be kept in the manner to which I am accustomed ;)

[mikiSJ]

Timely

Tuesday I was at my MD therapist and I started talking about Miki in the third person and he interrupted me to ask me why - I had a reason, but we both agree the answer was wrong.

So, I am Miki and typing this post in the first person!

[Eryn]

Although I do use the third person to refer to myself in male or female mode I don't consider myself to be two entities. Referring to myself in that way is just a convenient way to express ideas to others.

I suspect that TS folk don't do this as much because they have less need. They aren't dancing back and forth across the boundary as I am!

[AbigailAlexis]

I agree with Eryn, convenience is key in this.

That... and occasionally Abby just likes talking about herself in 3rd person.

[Dalva]

I just talk, post, chat normally in both modes. Unless of course, if asked what I want, I might reply "Dalva wants a spanking"

:spank:

[Cheryl T]

Well, for me I do feel different when dressed than when drab and in conversation with my wife or someone who knows I do refer to each by name to maintain clarity.

Sometimes it gets confusing...almost like Abbot and Costello.... but since that finally came true...

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