Looking nice for who?

[Kate Simmons]

Many of us take a lot of time and effort to look nice en femme but who is it for really? My wife had asked me this question years ago along with: "Are you trying to attract a man?" My answer was "no" but now I'm not quite so sure. Especially those of us who have SO's, just who are we dressing for? Evidently not the SO, as they more or less prefer us as a man. Could it be ourselves? If that is the case, what do we get out of it? Which was another question my wife asked those many years ago and I honestly had no answer then. For myself, I can answer now that the dressing was a vehicle that helped me to get in touch with my feelings but now it's just pure choice.

Another possibility is that, even if we don't want to attract someone per se, we do enjoy the admiration and adulation we are given by others for presenting as a good looking woman. All in all, I just chalk it off as part of the "CD mystique" in that we are not sure what the drive is but just go with the flow and enjoy it. What are your thoughts on this?:battingeyelashes::)

[~Joanne~]

I do it for me. nobody else. If I want to ever get past this door and venture out into the world dressed en femme, I have to do the best job I can to make myself as passable as possible not to attract any bigots or worse. The only way to achieve this is continuous practice. Unless your one of those people who only "half practice" to be good at something.

Especially those of us who have SO's, just who are we dressing for? Evidently not the SO, as they more or less prefer us as a man.

I'm not sure this is a completely true statement because My SO has never asked these questions and doesn't look or treat me any differently no matter how I am dressed. If anything she wants me to be "Me" and nothing more.

[Allison Quinn]

I do it for myself just like many genetic girls do :P I like the way I appear and then that in turn will do wonders for my confidence. It's nice to feel attractive I guess? and LIke Joanne said I'd rather do a good job and hopefully blend as to not attract the attention of baddies xD

Like she also said, My SO doesn't mind it when I dress up. Obviously she prefers male me but she also quite enjoys when I get all dressed up too c: Last time I got dressed up she hugged me and told me I was pretty, which is the same thing she does even if i'm not :) I think she's happy with "me" as a whole rather than male or female me. So I guess I can say I get dressed up partly for her as well! She thinks I am cute and we always get laughter just the same as if I were wearing my pjs so oh well c:

[Michelle55]

I don't dress to attract a man, but in drab I don't dress to attract a woman either. I'm happily married and don't need to do that.

I think I dress to look good like many women who are in a committed relationship dress nicely to receive that level of attention that says "You look good." It's a confidence builder and puts a bounce in your step.

When I'm drab (most of the time) I'm often working on equipment and greasy and don't care what I look like, but other times I get cleaned up and look good even though I'm not trying to attact anyone... just look pleasing to others.

[Laura912]

If I told you then we would have to cut your garters...

[ginger56]

Hi kate,i've often thought that myself.who am i doing this for?my wife would rather see me as a man,but she doesn't condone the dressing as she knows it is part of me.i'm not a full dresser as i won't pass as a gurl in public so my dressing is limited to the house.thank you for bring up this question.

[Beverley Sims]

I just want to look as nice as the next girl, and I think you do too. :)

[Kate Simmons]

Of course Bev but logic dictates me to ask the question anyway. ;):battingeyelashes:

[vallerie lacy]

Not everyone does things for the same reason. To each , his own. I dress because that's what I like. I wish I could be the girliest in the world, because that's what I like. Hence I dress for myself only. Though I only dress at home, I have nothing but admiration for you Girls that venture into the outer limits . I think I speak for everyone, when I say, we wish we could be with you for one reason or another.

[Susanna66]

My wife asked me that same question the other day. I told her it is for me.. No matter how I dress, I want to look nice. When I go out as Susanna, it want everyone to see her.

[NicoleScott]

Kate, let's go back to the beginning, when we started. Behind a closed and locked bedroom or bathroom door, we tried on that slip or pantyhose or touched lipstick to our lips, or walked in high heels for the first time. Who did we do it for then? Same answer, it's just that other people are imbedded deeply into our lives now. Is it only when we became independent and then half of a couple do we question who we dress for?

[Rachael Leigh]

This is a great question Kate and it is one I too have struggled with, for me I pretty much never go out enfem as I don't really feel I pass but when I do wear my fem clothes its like I have this different energy about me. I got into working out about 2 years ago so I decided to buy work out gear for women and man it just made me want to work harder and be stronger and more fit. If I were to do it in drab I just don't think I would stick with it the way I have. I too don't want a man and I understand that my wife wants me as a man.

Those of you who have wives who fully accept this Im not sure you know how really hard that is for them to do that.
I have stopped for a long stretch at a time but it never stopped me from looking at the adds in the paper or secretly looking at clothes as I shopped with my wife and now I seem to be back into enjoying it. I doubt I will ever go as deep into it as I once did but it does seem to be more just a part of me than I ever thought.
I know my wife will never get it Ive let that ship sail. but I know I just have to be there for her as a man and as a husband.

[Caitlin_85]

I am definitely dressing for no one other than me...definitely not to attract someone - as I would never go out as Caitlin. Being as feminine as possible gives me a peace and happiness in a way that really nothing else does.

[Jaymees22]

Hi, I think I'm dressing to look good for myself, to create my own dream girl, even though I don't have the right parts. In drab or in femme I'm fairly vain and growing up as an only child I noticed my parents spent a lot of time looking in the mirror trying to get their appearance just so. My mother was way better than average but I'm afraid I'll never attain that. My father was reasonably good looking too. What happened to me, it must have skipped a generation, I look more like my grandfather, big nose and big ears.

So from my rather shallow vain beginning that's how I got to where I am today trying to look my best for myself and the occasional compliment I may get here.

Jaymee

[Frédérique]

Looking nice for who?

Maybe some of us like to look “nice” for the sake of looking nice. I mean, it’s a choice, built upon one’s love of beauty. I may make a beautiful painting, but I won’t really look at it much once I’m finished. On the other hand, I hope people will look at it and think that it’s beautiful. Others will just walk on by. At the end of the day, I suppose I’m trying to look nice purely for myself, but, since I don’t look at myself in the mirror once I’m all dolled-up, I get into the feeling of looking nice…
:battingeyelashes:

[TGMarla]

I try almost all the time to look my best. I'm definitely not out to attract a man, however, I admit that I'd be flattered if one thought I was pretty. I'm most assuredly doing this only for my own self-satisfaction. No doubt about it.

[Nikki A.]

I dress for no one but myself. However I try to look my best when going out so as not to embarass those who are with me.

[suchacutie]

The first day I dressed it was for my wife as a bit of a lark. It became serious within 10 minutes and since then it's clear that the quality of Tina's presentation feeds back into her psyche as the feminine part of me. It took the better part of a year for my wife to instruct Tina sufficiently to have the makeup and fashion sense work. The fantastic metamorphosis of having the male me set aside and having Tina appear is really a psychological feedback loop. That's why Tina will forever want to look her best. Afterall, this IS my feminine self and she deserves to be the best she can be!

oh...btw...I think the grammar would dictate that the title should be, " Looking nice for whom?" :) (sorry, Tina is obsessive-compulsive that way!).

[Stephanie47]

Good question. I am past the age of trying to attract anyone, man or woman. I'm happily married. When I was in my mid twenties there were attempted pickup of me by men even while commuting on the subway with my wife sharing the same pole. I guess some guys when I was totally a good looking male at six foot two, 175 pounds, and a full head of blond hair thought I was desirable. Women, well the woman I am married to set her eyes on me even before I knew her. She says she was checking me out from afar, seeing how I interacted with others. I am assuming I was desirable.

As to wearing those womanly garments? I know I have no inclination whatsoever to dress for anyone except myself. My dressing is solely geared for stress relief. I am finding my desire to dress has been diminishing because the stresses in my life have been diminishing. Yes, I still dress up, but, now it's somewhat of a low priority. I can see the day when the entire wardrobe is donated to Goodwill.

[Mistress Roxy]

Many of us take a lot of time and effort to look nice en femme but who is it for really?

My point of view (I am GG). When a crossdresser dresses for himself, she is actually looking for the sight of that man who was in her body just minutes (or hours LOL) ago. That’s why be pretty is so important for most of you. Women that you like are pretty.

[Cynthia Anne]

I dress only for my number one fan! As long as she's happy I don't care what others think of me!

[Helen_Highwater]

While speaking in a dark husky voice and making a flowery flowing gesture with an extended arm, "Why it's for my public, they adore me darling". Then I wake up.

[Kate Simmons]

I've actually done that Helen. BTW Tina, who was used purposely as it refers to persons.:)

[cdmorganashley]

i suppose i like to look as attractive as i can in male or female mode both for my own satisfaction and for the ego boost of being viewed as attractive in some way by others

[robindee36]

Easy answer, I dress for my pleasure, for my personal satisfaction. The feelings that come with looking attractive as a female (within personal limitations of course ;) are precious. Not trying to attract men, but positive reactions are quite flattering. Positive reactions from other Tgirls are more satisfying, but that is what we do I guess.

I have always wanted to be a girl, but this is as close as it is ever going to get. I accept that and just have fun with it. If we're not having fun, than we need to seek out a new avocation. I'm just so happy being a girl.

Hugs, Robin

[Joanne f]

I have tied to think of all the reasons why I dress and I have come to the conclusion that it is definitely not to attract or impress anyone , it is simply for myself because I enjoy it ( to much hard work to dress to impress, just haven't got the time). OK you have noticed :lol::lol2:

[carhill2mn]

I try to look as nice as I can for several reasons: 1) I like how I look; 2) I do not want to be a parody of a woman; I want to be treated as a lady; 4) I do enjoy having others notice when I am "looking good"; 5) I enjoy receiving compliments.

[irene9999]

I dress for myself mainly, I just love the feeling of wearing girly clothes, of course getting noticed/compliments is always nice!

[Lea]

I dress to please myself.

To me that means taking the time to pick out an outfit that I feel will look nice on me. This includes choosing the appropriate accessories and proper makeup.

Except for Halloween I have not been outside but it is very important to me to dress nice.

My wife does not mind when I dress. I enjoy when I pick out an outfit and treasure the occasional compliments she gives me.

[Karren H]

whom?..... and who said I'm trying to look nice..... just trying to look feminine.... not necessarily nice.... or nicer than male..... just different..

[Alice B]

Evem though my wife accepts my dressing I do not dress for her, as she usually stays else where on the house.. It is for myself and to feel good about my female person. When I go out I consider how others will see me, but my view of myself is the standard I seek. If I do nt feel good about how I look I will not go out that day/evening. In rare situations I might start over, but that is rare.

[TheMissus]

I can't imagine many horny teenage boys stand in their bedrooms thinking "I know, I'll get all those gorgeous girls to want me by dressing exactly like them." Yeah, I think not. Even horny teens realize that straight girls want boys who look like boys. My guess is they have only one person in mind when they dress and he/she is in the mirror, lol.

And I have asked my H the same question in the past and he says the same as most here. He's the only guy he's trying to impress. Apparently he can see a model/goddess/bimbo/princess in the mirror. I beg to differ, but whatever works, lol

[Allesandra Rhodes]

My SO finds it an incredible turn on and see's a completely different person when I'm fully made up and dressed. I see the difference as well. I do it for me, but when I know she will be present I do take extra time to look as good as I possibly can for her. As if I were going out in public, I want to look my best.

[Sheila11]

I just want to look as nice as the next girl, and I think you do too. :)

I agree with Bev on this one.

[Jenniferathome]

I think I want to look "nice" for the same reason as my wife when she goes out with friends or when we go out together. When with friends, she is not trying to attract men but she has pride in her appearance. When we go out together, she still has pride in her appearance and I am sure she wants to look nice for me as well. I am no different when I am in girl mode. As odd as it is writing this, I want her to be proud of girl-me when she is out with me. I am certainly not trying to attract men nor women when I am dressed, but I do take pride in my appearance.

[Barbara Dugan]

Usually for myself, but when I dress for a man I am always more focused on the details and the results are always much better

[kimdl93]

If I were seeking admiration and adulation, this wouldn't be the way to get it. I do have to feel I'm presentable, so as to not be blatantly and grossly obvious as a male in women's clothing. That isn't an effort to attract, but a rather an effort not to repulse.

[Yazna]

In my particular case I'm dressing to look good for myself, to fulfill my fantasy deep inside of me to became a Beautiful dream girl

[MysticLady]

I like to dress for the admiration of it, from myself and others. It's also a very nice feeling when someone offers to open a door or other nice things for you. Just like I would for a woman that I find attractive.

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks for all the responses and comments so far. It would seem that many dress for themselves and only for themselves. In that case, the logical question to follow is: " Does that mean that you are taking valuable time away from spending time with your SO?" But that's perhaps a question for another discussion.:battingeyelashes::)

[jayme357]

I think I have two answers. When I am by myself I dress simply to enjoy the feeling that goes along with feeling female. For example, as I sit here tonight I have on only the basics - bra, forms, T-shirt, minimum jewelry and a little eye makeup. I am simply enjoying being me. Next week I have a date. I will do everything within my skill set to be the most beautiful and alluring woman possible. So, the real answer is that it just depends. I think most gg's would agree.

[Jennifer in CO]

Its a convoluted mess it is....in the beginning...

I dressed for myself as the clothes were exciting (well before being a turn on). Later, I dressed because they (girls clothes) looked good on me. Mid teens I dressed because it "felt right". Late teens, they began to excited me again (this time as a turn on). In college, I dressed because they excited her (girlfriend) as a turn on (if they turned me on, then she was all for it). This continued into marriage with the added twist that she didn't want to be seen with a "guy in a dress" (not that I ever looked like one) so she insisted I always look and present my best. When I transitioned they (womens clothes) became normal wear. Now, they are back to the "they just feel right" stage....

[Jacqueline Winona]

Even if you're never going to leave home, most of us want to do it "right." The GG's most of us I know look great regardless of how they feel about their appearance, and that inspires me. I have no idea what I'm doing and know that I probably look awful, but still I want to do this right for no other reason than pride in knowing I did my best.

[NathalieX66]

I'm happy being me.....warts and all (....as they say).

I can pass reasonably well in many situations, and if people figure me out, they'll just assume I'm transgender.....which is perfectly fine with me.

[Kate Simmons]

Regardless of who (or whom) I am looking nice for, I've always felt that it's worth doing well with my best efforts. ;):battingeyelashes::)

[Brittany CD]

I'm dressing for me. I'm trying to look like a pretty girl because that's what I want to do

[Shirley Rose]

At this point I dress for me...it feels right and has a calming effect,I like what I see in the mirror (from the neck down).I may never reach the level of confidence and beauty so many here have but there is always hope.

[Dalva]

I dress for myself. But I would also like to dress for someone like me too!

[Dianne S]

Does that mean that you are taking valuable time away from spending time with your SO?

Yes, it does. But lots of people do things they don't do with their spouses because they simply have different interests. As long as you don't overdo it, it's fine.

[SusieSmith]

It's the clothes...

[Bianca Star]

My wife once asked why I dressed up and my response was "it makes me feel good". She understood and supported me, helping me with clothes, make up, the whole sha-bang. I'm fortunate to have someone who feels that everyone deserves to feel good.

[linny_aggy]

surprisingly it never occurred to me..good thot !! But then reading thru the responses, most have the same reason..to dress for myself. Well, so do I... esp since i'm still closeted & not the bold kind to venture out.. However besides getting the satisfaction & thrill of seeing myself, i also get a kick out of 'showing-off' to others like us & get responses, gud or bad..but acknowledged as a lady !!

[LeahVonT]

Like many others, I too dress for myself. I always loved 'girl' clothes and wore them whenever possible. Now I wear them when I like - sometimes I try to present as a girl, sometimes I just go out as a guy but wearing a dress and heels. Always it's just because that's what I feel like doing, what I like and who I am. :)

[Alice Torn]

Kate, I have never had an SO or wife, so, i guess, i dress for myself, mostly, but like to share my best photos all dolled up, and wish i could go out in public more, and present as a super tall well dressed lady, but lack the guts , or confidence to do that often. I do feel great when a man applauds my look, and would like to do what you do, go out and dance with some decent men, but the guy in me still has some reservations about it, as i am an intellectual, but emotional blue collar fishing guy, too. My abused past, and present abusive family has something to do with why i want to be a woman part time. It is still a bit of a mystery though.

[corey]

I dress for me as I don't go out dressed up so I want to look good for me

[Lexi Moralas]

I do it for myself , love all the cloths and especially the shoes! Love totally letting go of my male side for just a little while. Attention from guys is not my motivator but it is and indicator that I've done a good job and being checked out makes me feel pretty and sexy , but I don't think I would like to be flat out hit on. That would make me uncomfortable

[Kate Simmons]

More and more I'm reading that the dressing is more or less "escapism" for many from male duties and routine. I have to say, I'm honestly wondering just what is so bad about male duties and accomplishment of such? The "woman" in me has to ask this question more or less as devil's advocate for the SO's of CDers who really prefer having their man but tolerate the dressing. Men and women were meant to complement one another after all. The CD factor makes things interesting I guess. :)

[Claire Cook]

Jennifer and Nathalie have said it for me. Just like other girls, I want to present a well put-together look, as naturally as possible. If I am read, and someone thinks that I wear the clothes well, that's all the better! Interesting that my wife and I both ask each other's advice about how we look and what we should wear.

[Kate's at home]

To borrow both from LeeR and Freddie, it is for myself, and is about tapping into some vast ocean of feminine energy, found within me. An indescribeable sense of comfort and subtle knowing follows immediately, and can linger subtly on the edge of awareness through even a whole day as long as dressed. And it goes away immediately following not being dressed.

A truly different state of being.

Kate

[Jaylyn]

I have pondered this question myself. I can tell you besides my mom dressing me as a very small lad in dresses because she wanted a girl and dreamed I was a girl so I am told. Those days though I don't think I could possibly remember unless they are in my deepest psyche. My mom also let me play in her make up at an early age because she took a pic of me with lipstick on my mouth, face and hands and one of her ladies hats on sitting in front of big round mirro about age four or five. I dressed in my moms slips and girdles and panty hose when I was around 9-12 those times were all sneaky like. I began to notice how soft they were on my skiing and especially a certain part on me seemed to really enjoy that as it would grow faster than my knowledge of what was happening did. Around age twelve to fifteen I found out why when I dressed up in her undies I was supposed to do with that magical part and the first time was quite by accident I think this episode scared me as I had to hide those panties, (as I didn't know they could be cleaned of the gooey stuff). I was a fast learner though and realized I wanted more of this dressing so thus my first collection of discarded hose and smooth silky things began as did my teen years and college where I really discovered the feelings of being a man. Even after I was out of college I still had that desire to dress in the fine linens and feel the urges it gave me. This has lasted now off and on even till now. I am 64 and find myself aroused by dressing. Now the smells of lipstick, the softness of a pair of black lacey panties or a silky pair hose can get me to a tranquil place I was at with my childhood years. I really think I dress to please me. ( if ya get my drift). I am finding though that I am being more precise with the makeup, the dressing, and finding the things that molded my sexual appetite are some of the things I'm starting to dress as. Hope this didn't bore ya but ya did ask Kate.

[Kate Simmons]

No problem Jaylyn. As Kate mentioned, we do indeed tap into an ocean of feminine energies and feelings if we are in tune with it when we dress.:battingeyelashes:)

[Ressie]

It seems that those that like to go out dressed must be doing it to attract men and your wives must be thinking the same thing. Maybe not on the conscious mind, but men are attracted to women and if you're trying to pass as a woman... Ricky's got some 'splainin' to do!

I dress for myself and for the camera and the outfits aren't always nice. ;)

[Cheryl T]

I dress for myself and no one else.
When I want to feel attractive I'll slip into a nice dress or skirt and blouse with heels. When I feel casual I'll wear jeans and a cute top. I never dress to attract anyone, I simply dress as my mood dictates and strictly based on how I feel that moment.

[Chickhe]

Its the same answer when in male mode. Its to look good. It's not to attract attention, it is to fit in, to look nice. The problem is one of style, having none and no experience sometimes it is hard to separate what my mind thinks looks good and what is appropriate for a given situation.

[suchacutie]

Tina is a joint project of us as a couple. The only time Tina visits alone is when my wife is out of the house or I am. Else it's girls night or Tina is here because I've got some detailed work to do and she's just better at that. Oh, the word 'for'requires whom regardless. See what I mean about Tina...;) hugs.

[Angie G]

I do it for myself as I don't go out and will never really pass. And I know my wife really don't need it.And there is no way I really want a guy.:hugs:
Angie