Motivation to cd?

[Laurie A]

Does any one else here find it hard sometimes to get motivated to cross dress? I'm finding it increasingly harder to make the time and expend the energy, only to have the feeling that I have some how come up short.

It seem to take so long to prepare: shaving, makeup, padding, choosing clothes, finding shoes that fit etc etc (omg it takes hours!), and then after all that effort, I look in the mirror and still see a guy in a dress. I guess I'm just not naturally endowed with any feminine characteristics.

So call it being lazy, depressed or discouraged, (i feel like such a amateur) I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth the bother. I'm just a wanna be and not the real deal. Does anyone else feel that way? How do you cope with those feelings?

[CarlaWestin]

I've felt this way, often. One thing I always keep in mind is that exhilerating excitement that begins to build as I'm preparing and then dressing. And then, once dressed, the excitement really escalates as I go out the door.

[Kate Simmons]

As you say the prep work takes time and is somewhat tedious sometimes but the end result is usually well worth the effort, like all the stuff women go through sometimes to look nice. Kind of like doing dishes and laundry. Just keep plugging away until it's done and in most cases it becomes second nature and that's when we can use our artistic abilities to experiment.;):battingeyelashes::)

[stephNE]

When I was younger, sometimes I would think that this think we do is pretty crazy and I wondered why I continued. I have never done the big purge that some talk about, but I have thought about it a few times. After a while the urge always came back so strong that I couldn't resist. Now I am very comfortable as both a male and a female. I know that being a woman is very hard work. But you should dress because it is fun, enjoyable, relaxing, etc. Some days I dress to the nines, but many days like today I am in a bra and panties, under my dude clothes.

[Karren H]

My life is way too busy and some days I have a hard time getting motivated to get out of bed and tackle what's on my schedule for the day..... and what I didn't get done the day before....

[Dianne S]

I used to feel this way a lot when my kids were younger. Now that they are older and more independent, I am more motivated to dress.

Though, if I know I'll have a short window (less than two hours, say) I often don't bother because it's too much hassle to put on and then take off makeup for such a short time.

[Beverley Sims]

Quite often your motivation to CD is lessened by other interests in your life.
Especially when younger, a new girlfriend on the scene kills it for about six weeks before it returns.

[NicoleScott]

I having a hard time understanding this: the compulsion to dress but not the motivation. If I don't feel like, say, going fishing, why would I feel bad about it? Is it because I like to fish and, therefor, I should go? Maybe it's me, but I don't get it. The opposite is usually the problem - desire to dress but can't for some reason.

[ibreadfan]

I think it depends on "why you dress." Everyone here has similar or different interests on why. For me, I do it occasionally to dress up and feel nice. It's like that one video game that you like to play, but not all the time.

[Laurie A]

Nicole,
Its not so much a compulsion as a desire. Maybe I'm just lazy, but when I find enough time to dress, all the preparation and then all the undoing (when I have to return to real life) is a bit overwhelming.

In other words, I'd probably go fishing more often if the lake was in my back yard and someone handing me the bait and tackle.

[Victoriana]

Just quit then. What is the point if you don't enjoy it. I know I would quit.

[Tina_gm]

Yesterday I had my typical couple of hours before my wife came home. I did post on here, but for whatever reason, the urge to actually dress was very minimal, so I just said the heck with it and didn't bother to. I get those days sometimes, or having more time but just decide to put on the guy clothes again.

[cdmorganashley]

i definitely get discouraged with my female presentation and it makes me not want to dress and then see how much work i need to do to get where i would like... this has led me to focus on doing what i can to get in shape and lose some weight so that i can find my dressing more satisfying... sometimes it helps to dress partially or paint my nails as it makes me feel more feminine without accentuating my shortcomings... when it comes right down to it though i feel i need this part of me whether i am good at it or not as expressing myself as a guy all the time feels wrong

[NathalieX66]

There are times when I go into warrior mode, and times I go into princess mode. My warrior mode wants nothing to do with my princess mode. Once I'm in princess mode, I don't want to leave it.

[cdmorganashley]

how about warrior princess mode? according to Xena its possible right?

[NicoleScott]

Nicole,
Its not so much a compulsion as a desire. Maybe I'm just lazy, but when I find enough time to dress, all the preparation and then all the undoing (when I have to return to real life) is a bit overwhelming.


It sounds like your desire isn't as strong (compelling) as others here. Also, for some of us, the process of transforming is part of the fun, not just a necessary chore to get en femme. We're all different. If it doesn't twirl your turban, don't do it.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi Dela

I've felt the same way. The urge comes and goes. I've realized I have triggers. If I am traveling for work and see a well-dressed woman in heels and hose, or a flight attendant. If my wife gets dolled up. If I know I will have time alone. Sometimes just reading this forum or surfing Pinterest/Flickr/etc. Other days it just seems like too much effort. I have been trying to be diligent in maintaining my legs, feet, and fingernails. If I don't keep the legs up, the "chicken skin" (red spots) return. I've noticed that if I exfoliate, shave, and moisturize daily, they disappear and feel and look wonderful, but after a few days they start to look like a guy's legs again and it's not as pleasurable when I do dress. If I don't sand down the rough spots on the feet or nails, they snag hose. So it's sort of a minimum maintenance routine I have adopted for the lazy times.

[Lynn Marie]

It seem to take so long to prepare: shaving, makeup, padding, choosing clothes, finding shoes that fit etc etc (omg it takes hours!), and then after all that effort, I look in the mirror and still see a guy in a dress. I guess I'm just not naturally endowed with any feminine characteristics.

One of my CD girlfriends gets into this kind of a funk now and then. She starts seeing wrinkles that were there yesterday, but seem way bigger today. For me, I'm also a "guy in a dress" until I've got my face madeup and the "crowning glory" of the hair goes on. At that moment, there's this magical transition that always makes me smile in the mirror. The classy old broad appears with this big grin on her face. All she needs now is a little bling on her ears and around her neck to make the illusion complete.

[audreyinalbany]

sometimes my wife will get home and ask if I dressed during the day. if I tell her I did "for an hour or so," she'll say, Isn't it an awful lot of work for an hour?"

[Laura28]

I understand and sometimes have those thoughts, Like dam i jst dont look like a woman, and then i look in the mirror and see a woman stearing back at me, and wow i feel great. I do keep my toes polished as a reminder of who i am a male with female desires. on those days i dont have time to dress it is a nice reminder everytime i look at my toes.

When i am dressed i wish i could look a 20 something hot babe but i am a 55 year old male trying to look like a woman, my wife says i would pass in public but i dont feel like i would so i havent gone out yet(maybe someday). I do know this i enjoy the prep work nothing is more relaxing then putting on make up and when i am dressed i am so relexed.

[Rosie Moonlight]

Compare this to embarking on an adventure: A wise man (or woman!) once said "The first step is the hardest." - Sometimes I might be committed to getting dressed up for a party or whatever and there I am on the sofa with a beer watching TV and don't really feel it, but it all starts with a shower. (groan, i hate showers, but I've not time for a bath on this occasion as I've been atching TV with a beer) then I'm out th shower and pushing my chests together in the mirror to make a cleavage then am i going to put on the same clothes again NO WAY! I'm not being a bloke again I'm getting dressed up. Next thing the beer is flat and warm and I'm missing multiple text messages because the obsession has returned with a vengeance. I suppose, in a nutshell, start from scratch :)

[brassieres]

I wouldn't say that I have ever lost the motivation, however it does take courage to take new steps in crossdressing though.

[Diversity]

Time and opportunities are the only issues which get in my way. I love the times when I get them. It's all fun and exciting and fulfilling to me! Total enjoyment all the way through the process!
Di

[LouiseCD]

I don't need to get motivated to cross dress....I rather can't wait to get started! :-)

[linda allen]

Nope. If I feel like dressing, I dress. If I don't feel like dressing, I don't. There's no obligation to dress (as a female) unless you're living full time as one.

I get a lot more done dressed as a male.

[cdmorganashley]

i had a thought in this vein... i think ggs feel unpretty some days and just want to throw on sweats and a baggy tee, rather than get dolled up and feel like "ugh i tried so hard and still look terrible!!" i don't think this means the desire to be dressed up and pretty is any less, but the discouragement wins out that day... any ggs have feedback on this?

*side note--i think ggs often look cuter than they realize dressed like this--damn them!!

[StarrOfDelite]

To the OP: Maybe you're making too big a deal out of it? I'm sure there is no one with a pistol to your head forcing you to do the whole nine yards every time you CD. I've found that it's fun and relaxing to just toss on a wig, some outre' earrings, a bra and some forms, a dab of lipstick, and some casual girly clothes, and lounge around or work at the computer or whatever.

[Caitlin_85]

I sort of get what the OP was saying...but I'm not sure in the same way. I just sort of get discouraged because I have to work so hard to feel female...even though that's exactly what I feel I am. I would love just have the luxury of being a girl and just throwing on some yoga pants and top and tie my hair up and nothing else...but still feel totally like a girl. That would be the best.

[Laurie A]

To the OP: Maybe you're making too big a deal out of it? I'm sure there is no one with a pistol to your head forcing you to do the whole nine yards every time you CD. I've found that it's fun and relaxing to just toss on a wig, some outre' earrings, a bra and some forms, a dab of lipstick, and some casual girly clothes, and lounge around or work at the computer or whatever.

Starr, yeah, i think you're right, i tend to be hard on myself, i think i'll try that, (and stay away from the mirrors lol)

[Cami.Aeris]

I definitely have similar thoughts. I guess the question I have with myself on the matter is: What am I looking to get from the crossdressing experience?

Sometimes all I need is to throw on a dress and a wig. :)

[Farrah]

Nope!...I'm always ready and willing to dress!..Unfortunately, I can't now! :(

[Shirley Anne]

Hi Dela

Ive been the same way for months now, I just cant be bothered with the effort off getting all made up for 3-4 hours. Ive gone from dressing fully at least two nights a week to not dressing since 4 months, my wife has tried to encourage me but frankly I cant be bothered.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Dela, I don't need any motivation to dress up but sometimes I'm just too tired .

[suchacutie]

It may be as simple as prepping in a way that it takes less time. Without nails when pressed I can now change genders in about 40 min. This is down from 2 hours. When I can't transform completely I decide ahead of time how much physical transform will be enough to allow Tina to arrive mentally.

The best is not to rush but to enjoy every moment but sometimes that's not in the cards.

[tiffanynjcd24]

its hard to control it like idk. its just that i have a itch to get dress up again like i havent done it in a long time since i live with my grandma. but when i do thinking about it, i am finding diffrent ways of expressing who i am

[Mssusan]

GG weighing in here. While I understand that it does take more effort for most men to look "pretty", believe me it's not effortless for many women too! My workplace is casual, but I still have to wear makeup, do my hair, and wear decent clothes. I have a full time job, a teenager, two dogs, and work out a lot, so I don't spend a lot of time on beauty. I am not bad looking, but I am also in my late 40s and do not look fresh and pretty right out of bed/after a workout/after a day of cooking/with a cold, etc.

When I do go out for fun, I make an effort, although I usually do not have time to do my nails. I love it!

However, I do incorporate small things to feel feminine every day. I use girly shower gel, I have a Mia face scrubber thing, I wear earrings every day at work, I do not wear sneakers to work, I wear a thong pretty much every day. Maybe with the exception of earrings, you guys can do little things too to girl it up without going all out.

To the OP I would say find some quick ways to feel pretty and enjoy!

[Laurie A]

Susan, Great advice! i'm going to try doing some quick things as you suggest and see if this gets me out of this funk.

[Lexi Moralas]

I can understand it some times I will dress even though I'm not in the mood to just because the opportunity was there to do it. And if I miss the opportunity I usually regret it soon after. And once I am dressed it always feels good

[NathalieX66]

I'm still trying to figure out why some people, including my parents, love to eat artichokes.

[Suzanne F]

Love what Susan said about quick girl things to do for ourselves. Every time I cleanse my face with my Mary Kay product it reminds me of what my beautiful wife said to me. "Girls don't use regular soap on their face!" It is the nicest thing she ever said to me!
Hugs
Suzanne

[Stephanie47]

Dela, it depends what your day is like. As Susan stated, it is not necessary to look like a million bucks all the time. Go to the mall and observe. There is a wide range of looks there, everything from slobs to dressed to kill. Today, I am en femme. It took me about ten minutes to figure out what I wanted to wear, get it out and put it on. So, here I am in a pretty black with rose pattern Venezia Jeans dress, black slip, black bra, black panty, black garter girdle attached to nylons, black heels and a grey wig. No make up. It takes too much time. As long as I do not put my face into the mirror I look great. I feel great. I always wear a dress. Today, I just finished making a pot of my famous spaghetti sauce, meatballs and Italian sausages. Being a woman or emulating a woman involves a lot of different things. And, while you're at the mall checking out the female dress to kill women and the slobs, check out the guys. The guys look the same too! Dressed to kill and slobs galore, especially the grossly overweight beer belly guys. Ugh!

[Laurie A]

thanks for all the replies, i've tried doing a few small things, as several of you have suggested, and its bringing a bit out of my drought! i might even go all out tomorrow, as i have some free time. i haven't done my nails or makeup in ages however.... do you think i will remember how to do it?