Need an answer

[crystalbath]

Hey everyone

I like to wear girls clothing but I also like to look like a girl while I'm dressed because i feel a bit daft when i look in the mirror and see a guy dressed as a girl. My partner feels that if i want to look like a girl then surely i want to be a girl because crossdressing is as the name suggests - the clothes. Im looking to find out if anyone would know if what i do is crossdressing or if it is more wanting to be a girl?

I'm sorry if this doesn't make that much sense. just hoping i can find an answer from anyone who is in the same position and know what i mean.

Thank you for any help
Kristy

[brassieres]

Personally I think that you just like crossdressing, but it depends on the motivation and how you feel.

[Allesandra Rhodes]

Nothing wrong with wanting to complete the image, doesn't really mean you want to ever fully become a woman. :)

[Gretchen_To_Be]

I like to wear women's clothing and would like to look as much like a woman from the waist up as I do from the waist down, but that is a distant dream. I'll keep working toward that goal, but for me I think it will always be the illusion, and not the reality. I suppose if I were 30 years younger and looked really convincing, and knew then what I know now, I'd consider going further, but I'm pretty sure I'll just remain your average everyday crossdresser that enjoys the clothes, hose, and heels.

Like you, I still see a guy when I look in the mirror, though I can suspend belief when looking at my legs.

I'm sure you will figure it out, and hope your partner does too.

[Zylia]

The label 'cross-dresser' (or more specifically MtF cross-dresser) is a bit of a misnomer, but it's often used for men born men who identify as men and want to stay men, but (occasionally) engage in some form of cross gender expression, ranging from wearing some women's clothes to fully presenting as someone of the opposite sex. Most of this has nothing to do with 'wanting to be a girl' and saying that cross-dressing is 'clothes only' is factually wrong.

[Jaymees22]

My thing is to dress from head to toe, but others are just as happy under dressing. I really think it's up to the individual and everyone is a little different. Jaymee

[ReineD]

Im looking to find out if anyone would know if what i do is crossdressing or if it is more wanting to be a girl?

Well, how do you feel? DO you want to be a girl?

If you're wanting to make sense of the labels, here's a simple explanation:


1. If you identify as a male:

and you just put on the clothes and present as a male, then you are a crossdresser who crossdresses.

or, you put on the clothes and present as a female, then you are a crossdresser who engages in cross-gender expression.


2. If you should ever stop identifying as strictly a male, then you would become gender-fluid. Other terms for this are bigender, dualgender, gender variant, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, etc.

3. If you should stop identifying as a male entirely and identified strictly as a female, then you'd be a transsexual.

4. If you should go ahead with hormone replacement therapy and sexual reassignment surgery, then you'd be a woman, or as close to a woman as current medical practices can get.

In a nutshell. :p

PS. All of the above fit under the Transgender Umbrella, except possibly #4.

[cdmorganashley]

i think many crossdressers want to look like a female when dressed and not a man in a dress... if you find living as a male is causing you distress and you only feel right expressing yourself as a girl maybe there is something beyond crossdressing going on and getting into gender identity issues... imo i wouldn't worry about labeling your behavior, just try and have fun and find what works for you and your partner... if dressing interferes with this relationship or your ability to live your life the way you want finding a gender therapist is often helpful in sorting things out...

[Helen_Highwater]

Hey everyone

I like to wear girls clothing but I also like to look like a girl while I'm dressed because i feel a bit daft when i look in the mirror and see a guy

Thank you for any help
Kristy
I, like I suspect many others here, want to emulate the female form but without becoming one. We aspire even covet to be able to transform into what I describe as my alter ego and be as true to the ideal as possible but for only as long as we physical cover ourselves in female clothes.
Beyond that, I'm a bloke, a fella, a guy, man through and through. It's just that I love the time I have as Helen, it's liberating.

[Karren H]

The answer to that question..... hasn't been invented yet.....

[Marcelle]

Hi Crystalbath. If you really want to tack a label to it, I believe ReineD provides the best explanation of the gambit of labels out there.

I myself am most likely gender fluid (still trying to figure it out). I think you will find we (the TG community) run the whole spectrum, you are in there somewhere. The first question to ask is where you feel you fit and go from there.

Hugs

Isha

[Julie1123]

Im looking to find out if anyone would know if what i do is crossdressing or if it is more wanting to be a girl?

Hi Kristy,

Unfortunately, the only one who can really answer this question is you. The best we can do is share our personal interests and needs, its kind of up to you to figure out who you identify with more, and that's mostly due to you're the only one who has all the information on you.

With that said, I tend to run a gauntlet of different moods. A lot of the time, I just want to underdress. Sometimes its a bit more, where I want to paint my nails, shave my legs and lounge around the house in a comfy skirt or women's jeans but no further make up or hair. Just real casual like. Then there are days I want to go full on dressed, makeup, hair, heels, breasts, clothes. I want to look in the mirror and see a woman I would be attracted to. Its really kind of narcissistic when I think about it. Which is really kind of odd, because I've never been obsessed with looks all that much. Like you, I don't want to see the guy I am when I'm going for a fully dressed look but that's pretty much where it stops. I have no desire to change anything permanently, so no surgery and no hormones. I also don't think I could live fully as a woman, even short of the permanent changes, some of its just too time consuming to do daily. Major kudos to the ladies that do.

Anyways, that's me in a nutshell. A lot of internal reflection and a lot of reading around this site has helped me figure this out and there are still days where I have serious doubts about it all. I'm no where near as confident as this post might sound.

Hugs,
Julie (maybe Abby) <----- see soooo much confusion ;)

[Sallee]

I am sue you will nevr find an answer because tons of us have already spent many years searching for that answer.
I like the clothes and they fit me better when I have boobs and a butt to fill them out I look pretty good from the neck down. I also love makeup even more than the cloths I think. So if I have gone that far why not a wig and see what it feels like to make believe I am a girl for a night or so. I definitely don't want to be one all the time, got to much life invested in being a guy and it is to hard to be a girl all the time especially if you have to pad and paint to get there.
Just on mans opinion on the question. Just have fun

[lingerieLiz]

Wanting to appear as a girl and behave as one has nothing to do with sexual orientation. I was confused when young because I wanted to wear girls clothes and do things as a girl but I didn't want to be with a guy. Don't label yourself.

[UNDERDRESSER]

If I understand you, you like certain aspects of the clothing, but feel that being seen as a dude in a dress, is ridiculous. So, you want the complete image, because otherwise, the clothes feel not right on you, is that it?

I used to think this, but now, I don't want to have to go through a makeover to wear the skirts or stockings I like, so I'm slowly working up the nerve to introduce it into my daily wear. So far, I wear them round the house, and get changed most days when I get home, neighbours have seen me, my friend/landlord and wife have seen me, and nobody has got the pitchforks out yet. I am NOT, trying to look like a girl, I just want to wear stuff that the general public has up to now, thought of as female clothing.

As to whether you are just a crossdresser, or something else, we don't know. You'll have to look into yourself for that answer. Wanting to give a believable image doesn't automatically mean you want to be a girl though.

[Jilmac]

I love wearing womens clothing and I also love looking abd feeling girly when dressed, and yes I call myself a crossdresser. I have no desire to change my sex or gender but enjoy being "one of the girls" when out and about. Crossdressing will always be a part of my life and I'm enjoying life to the fullest.

[Rachel Morley]

Yay for Renie! ... IMHO you are not going to get a better explanation than that (post number 7). Show that to your partner and see what they say after reading it. :)

[Beverley Sims]

There are some good answers here and mine is I practice it as an art form.

[Brooklyn]

Lots of us want to be a woman. But are you currently needing to take hormones, identify as female, modify your body, and live full-time as a trans-woman? If not, then you're basically cross-dressing.

[Ruthie Leather]

It sounds to me like what you're doing is cross dressing. You have to ask yourself if there is a disconnect to the gender that you feel you are and the actual bodily parts that you have. Do you look at your boy bits and think "this is just not right, they shouldn't be here" and if you do think that, is that feeling strong enough that it's causing you distress on a daily basis.

If not, I'd suggest that you don't want to be a girl all the time. It's fairly common that when you dress you want to be seen as a girl, rather than just a dude in a dress. It doesn't mean that you want to be a girl.

Hope that helps, just don't ask why we dress, I've got nothing on that one
xx

[kimdl93]

Your partner is mistaken. Many CDrs, most I would guess, identify as male and enjoy cross dressing as a way of expressing some interest in feminine things. There are others who identify as gender variant...some mix of male and female. It may take a while to figure out where you maybe on the spectrum.

[suchacutie]

Now I'll make it more complicated. There are truly moments I want to be Tina. Then Tina wants my male self back. And the cycle continues.

Regardless of which gender my passion requires at any moment, I need to be as complete as possible in that gender. So, I'm not surprised by your need to be more than a guy in a dress. Seems normal to me. If you need to be a girl you'll know once you've tried committing to that lifestyle for a month or two.

[BarbaraVa]

Sometimes I want to go all the way and get fully dressed and sometimes I'm happy just being clean shaven and spritzing a little perfume on wearing whatever. What you want for yourself could go anywhere, it's impossible for any of us to know.

[Sarasometimes]

Nothing wrong with wanting to complete the image, doesn't really mean you want to ever fully become a woman. :)
I think this says it well. You may or may not want to become a woman. I don't but I do like to dress and appear as a woman. We here run the gambit, from just wearing some woman's thing to dressing up and appearing female to the full range of transitioning MtF transgendered females. I know what you mean about seeing an incongruent image. Society accepts women looking/dressing masculine but not so much the other way around.

[Alice B]

There are those that fit both categories, but I think the bulk of us just love to dress and enjoy the feelings that go with dressing. I for one am happy as a male and just as happy when I can dress and present as a female. I may not be the most convincing, if at all, but that is not what is important. What counts is the satisfaction you derive from dressing, not what others think, except for your SO which is a separate item.

[Jordan-NH]

My GF has the same fear. I do often like to just put on a little something, but for the most part I really prefer to really look as natural as possible. But I'm still completely comfortable and confident with my heterosexual mind set and just have to occasionally remind her that I haven't suddenly changed.

[vallerie lacy]

I do believe that a vast majority of we crossdressers want to look more female than male. The main reason that I see Is because a man doesn't look good dressed in the beautiful clothing of women, but by adding certain things like makeup, wig etc. he can make his appearance more appealing, even if it's only for his benefit. I personally love to wear lingerie but wouldn't want to become a woman. You, in my opinion are just a crossdresser. Enjoy the "pink fog".

[crystalbath]

Hey and thank you everyone,

Your replies helped a lot and definitely clarified that i am a crossdresser haha - nothing more. Really do like being a guy but when i'm dressed as a girl i wanna look like one :)

Thank you for taking time to reply to this thread :)

Kristy

[AmyGaleRT]

Kristy, there's no shame in being who you are and looking like you want to look. Be what you are, and be it in style! :)

I myself fall in Reine's category #2...when I dress as Amy, I feel I am expressing part of my soul, a part that doesn't get expressed when I dress male. And, when I am presenting as a woman, I want to look, act, and interact, as much as I can, like the best woman I can be.

- Amy

[Kate Simmons]

Only you, yourself, can make that determination Kristy. :)