Feeling feminine, girly, et cetera

[Zylia]

Yes, this again. I'm pretty sure some (trans-)women would also like to know this:

How do you (cross-dressing individuals like myself*) know how and when you feel feminine, girly or whatever other word you like to use to describe it?

I mean, I know when I look feminine, even if it isn't necessarily 'female'. I know when I feel good, like when I'm watching a great film or reading a great book. I know when I feel optimistic about my appearance, which may also be the case when I dress nicely as a man. But I don't think I ever had this overwhelming feeling of femininity.

Is there a book on feminine feelings for men? Do you feel feminine when you have the sudden urge to make a sandwich? What is this wizardry?

And, perhaps most importantly, what role does feminine attire like panties have? Are they acting like some kind of conduit for the mystical spiritual feminine forces?



* This is not a specific posting request, feel free to contribute if you don't consider yourself a cross-dressing individual.

[Christina Kay]

For me it's starts when I start walking like a girl. I can feel the calmness , the smooth flowing movements. With in a few steps I triggers this feeling. It's more of a mindset.The physical side would be. Letting my nails grow, and clear coating them, is a nice suttle reminder of my underlying feminine feelings. For me it's about the physical movements 1st , and the clothing just is the finishing touch. Softness in the touch , and in the clothing. The one thing I wish I could do as a girl , would be to multi-task. Till I can do that, feeling overall feminine might be elusive. :) hugs

[Beverley Sims]

Zylia, you are overthinking again.
Just go with the flow and realise we have all felt the same as you do and then we moved on.
It is confusing I know.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

For me it's starts when I start walking like a girl. I can feel the calmness , the smooth flowing movements. With in a few steps I triggers this feeling. It's more of a mindset.The physical side would be...

Hi Honey -- Feeling very feminine this morning...wife and daughter are getting ready to fly out of town this weekend. I've written that about feeling feminine but never read it before here. You said it perfectly. That's my trigger.

Feeling and gliding. The world is lovely. Panties, dresses, nails and all the rest is secondary. Hugs, rbbn

[kimdl93]

No magic powers or transformations occur for me. I am the same person, regardless of how I dress.

[Ressie]

How do I know? I lose the ability to parallel park my car
When? About every 28 days

I get this euphoric giggly feeling when I'm dressed, looking in the mirror with a smile on my face. But I haven't got a clue what women really feel like.

[Marcelle]

Hi Zylia,

In reality, there are no true feminine feelings there are just feelings. Humans (men and women both) are capable of a broad range of feelings such as empathy, kindness, joy, sadness, anger, rage and violence. How we choose to express our emotional response depends on the person. Manly men are less likely to express tenderness because it would appear feminine. I truly believe the divide between emotional responses which have been gender stereotyped is beginning to decrease as roles blend.

WRT to feeling feminine and clothing. Yes, I find that while emotionally I am coming to grips with expressing stereotypical female gender emotions en male, when I dress it is far easier. Is it magical, don't think so. I just look in the mirror and see "girl . . . okay homely girl, but still girl". This makes it easier for me to express those behaviors.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

I just feel like myself but it is more of a "full spectrum" self as I'm in touch with and can readily access my feelings. It is also an overall satisfaction with knowing who we truly are. If you ask most women, they will tell you they don't what it feels like to be a "woman", only themselves. Same here, except how we may choose to express our feelings outwardly may seems to us to be female. It also has to do with attitude and mindset, however. All of this I've termed the "CD mystique".:battingeyelashes::)

[suchacutie]

I will admit that heels often start the feelings because body movements are forced to change to what we as genetic males perceive as a feminine presentation. The real jumo for me is when my wife interacts with Tina as girlfriends, changing language and general conversation. The clothes and makeup help too but it's a big feedback loop that just starts to scream Girl!

[LouiseCD]

When I sit down to pee.

[LilSissyStevie]

I think it's more about feeling emasculated than feeling "feminine" using the formula that femininity = opposite of masculinity. This is why CD ideas about femininity are so unrealistic. It's because it's not really about being "feminine," it's about obliterating masculinity - not that there's anything wrong with that.:heehee:

[cdmorganashley]

i think this can be a relative feeling for me sometimes... if i am around a real fem woman who seems to be doing it all so effortlessly i can feel like "ugh i am disgusting"--conversely sometimes i am around a couple guys and they seem like neanderthal ape creatures and i think "like seriously--i am such a girl!!"

[wilt575]

I don,t really know how to describe it as I dress casual/ fem to some degree all the time. But there are times lasting about 8 or 9 day at a time I get urge (rush) to go all out with my feminine girl side. then it subsides for a time only to rearise over and over.

[AmyGaleRT]

Zylia, one of the things I feel when dressed is an inner feeling of warmth that seems to wrap around me. I think of that as "the feminine aura." I also feel calmer, more fluid. It's a very different kind of energy from how I feel as my male self. I know that sounds sort of "mystical" but it's the best way I describe it. I also "automatically" shift in response to being dressed; my walk becomes more like a feminine "glide," and I switch to using Amy-voice almost without thinking about it.

- Amy

[ReineD]

I wonder if feeling different from male mode when dressed, is misconstrued for "feeling feminine".

Another way to put this:

I can well imagine there are all sorts of pleasurable feelings that occur when a CDer dresses. Amy characterized it as a feeling of warmth. Are these good feelings mistaken for feeling feminine?

I agree with Isha. There are no feminine or masculine feelings. Just human feelings experienced by both genders.

[Chickhe]

Personally, I have had days, mostly the feeling was stronger in the morning when I woke up when I just felt feminine... it was very subtle and difficult to describe, but if I dressed on a day like that it was easier to pull off passable. I have less days like that now...I really suspect body chemistry plays a part in all this.

[Zylia]

I wonder if feeling different from male mode when dressed, is misconstrued for "feeling feminine".
That's what I thought, but if I had a dollar for every "I wear X or Y because it makes me feel girly" I read on this forum the last couple of months, I could probably buy a new pair of fancy boots by now with a nice handbag to match :heehee:

I mean, what is this 'girly' feeling that, for example, makes men wear women's underwear below their 'normal' clothes to work? Why is it worth the risk?

[Tina_gm]

This is a subject that always get my interest. Is there really a difference and what if any is there. Obviously we who crossdress do so for some sort of reason because it makes us feel different/better/more comfortable. I do believe there can be a feeling of feminine or masculine. It IS very hard to describe. For me it is a subtle difference mostly. And I am one who does not have a separate persona of any kind. My personality does not change, I do not like anything different or better or worse when I dress. So, what is it?

For me, dressing is not the end all of my crossgender feelings or expression. I find it comfortable to dress. I find it relaxing. It connects me to the gender which I was not born as, but feel connected to anyway. This feeling of connection varies for me. I feel it stronger at times and weaker at times. My mind works more like a women's mind at times. That is according to my wife. She has stated to me "guys usually do not think this way", or 'guys Usually do not feel this way." It is not everything I think or feel, but emotionally I do cross gender lines.

I am one who does agree that these lines are not set in stone. But, they are lines that do generally make men and women different from each other. They are subtleties that make men and women gravitate toward different likes and dislikes and react differently to the same emotional and physical stimuli. I gravitate and react to both typical male and female. I know all people do at some point. For me I am much more in the middle than most genetic males, and there are a lot of people on this forum that gravitate a majority of the time toward the female side. We are who we are.

For me, I do not try to make myself more feminine, I do not try to practice feminine movements or voice or anything. For me it is about learning to accept and dealing with the fact that I am more feminine than the average genetic male. That dressing as a female is comforting and relaxing at times. Sometimes I enjoy this experience more than other times. Sometimes I would rather not dress as a female. Other times I would rather dress as a female. There are times where I am more connected to women than other times. I sometimes feel more comfortable in the company of women gabbing about girly things, other times more comfortable in the company of men talking about guy things. Often times I can or at least could do both equally. But there are definitely times where one side seems to be stronger than the other. That is how I can describe what it is for me.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Don't know what 'feminine feelings' mean; also, I have no idea if an emotion feels differently depending on who feels it? It's like seeing colors - I say it's red and you say it's red, but is how it appears to me the same to you?

To me feeling 'girly' is nothing at all like feeling 'feminine'. It is like an emotional itch - and there are only two ways to respond - try to ignore it and wait for it to go away, or scratch it by dressing.

The feelings I get from underdressing or stealth dressing are different than the 'girly' feeling - I get some satisfaction knowing I am doing something that is forbidden and 'getting away with it'.

There is some titillation (love that word!) involved in buying women's clothes from female SAs and knowing that they know - and maybe even bantering about it.

Buying women's clothes with a female companion is a different sort of good feeling - it is sort of like saying to everyone 'This is OK because this woman I'm with appreciates it, so it doesn't matter what you think!' and there is also, I suppose, the satisfaction of satisfying that bit of submissiveness I strongly deny and usually try to keep sealed in a vault in the deepest recess of my mind - "Look at me - she's the boss and she's making me do this and I like it."

And there is a very big element of escapism - virtually none of the responsibilities in my life belong to Deedee, so dressing is almost like going on vacation for a while, and getting relief from stress.

Not sure any of these are direct answers to your questions, they are not about feeling feminine - but they are about the feelings related to dressing.

Deedee :)

[Maria 60]

Last week was a beautiful fall day and we decided to go out for the day. I wore pantyhose, panties, bra and a full slip. We stopped at a few markets and we stopped and walked on a nature trial. My wife asked me if I was hot wearing all those cloths and what I get out of wearing them under and being uncomfortable. She loves the idea of the hiding and taking little chances but for me I don't know what makes me do it, I would be much more comfortable not wearing them. It makes me feel famine and it just feels right.

[linda allen]

Never having been a female, it's hard to imagine what "feminine" feels like. That said, the wig, boobs, and padded panties do make a change in how I look and perhaps how I feel. They don't change who I am or how I think though.

[Ceri Anne]

There are a number of things I do consciously and unconsciously that make me feel feminine. There are ways I sit where my body is in a relaxed curl, or ankles crossed, when I walk with my feet one in front of the other, hand gestures when I talk and so forth. These are all things I do quite naturally, yet when I notice them I feel wonderful. I have always been a mix of male and female actions, thoughts, words etc. It felt so good when I actually got the courage to express my female side.

[deebra]

Zylia your fifth paragraph hit on it, when I open my panty drawer, look at all the choices I have, it's hard to decide which pair I want to wear because I love them all,I pick a pair, step into them, pull them up and on and adjust them for the fit; it's then I start to feel feminine. I look in the mirrow at how I look in them and how they hug my body both front and back and I am very pleased with the feminity I see. Looking at the front I have two choices, if I like the way it hugs and shapes the package in nylon, lace and color then I am pleased, if I want that flat feminine look I tuck, both are good because I am in womens panties and they feel very good and sexy on my body. The feminine feeling also comes when I open the drawer and know they are women's panties and not men's underwear and I am about to put them on and start transforming myself from male to female. The more I put on the more the feminine feeling increases. Sure beats watching TV.

[ReineD]

I mean, what is this 'girly' feeling that, for example, makes men wear women's underwear below their 'normal' clothes to work? Why is it worth the risk?

Because it feels good? There is a sense of heightened feeling (call the feeling what you will: comfort, warmth, thrill, euphoria for some people, excitement for others, etc). It's worth it because the benefits of feeling so good outweigh the risk. But, for many people it is a calculated risk since a lot of CDers are closeted or go out in next towns over.

Obviously, men who get nothing out of wearing women's clothes just don't.

[ME2.0]

LilSissyStevie, I think you're onto something there. I'm going through electrolysis to have my beard removed. I look at each appointment as killing something I don't want anymore. I'm becoming less of what I don't like every appointment. Maybe it isn't particularly healthy (you're supposed to accept yourself), but it is empowering. It's like taking the old addage of be what you want to be, to a whole new level. What if what you want to be, isn't masculine? What if you woke up on one mid-life morning, and decided that you hate all of the gender expectations that were bored into you by society, and you decided to start swinging a sledgehammer at that wall, if only to see what was on the otherside?

Wow, deep...

Hugs, Staci

[vallerie lacy]

deebra nailed it. We crossdressers love to wear lingerie, whether it's at home or on the road.

[deebra]

ReineD, I'm sure you read my thread and also the others so as a GG what does dressing from first putting on your panties and bra all the way to makeup do for you or other GGs that you might know about. Do you or others get a feminine or sexy feeling as you dress? Or has it become so routine over a life time there's no spark, just getem on and get goin.

[Ressie]

I wonder if feeling different from male mode when dressed, is misconstrued for "feeling feminine". I would say so.

Another way to put this:

I can well imagine there are all sorts of pleasurable feelings that occur when a CDer dresses. Amy characterized it as a feeling of warmth. Are these good feelings mistaken for feeling feminine? It's the way CDs describe it.

I agree with Isha. There are no feminine or masculine feelings. Just human feelings experienced by both genders.

I believe there's something going on with feel good hormones for some CDs as we dress that cause a wonderful physiological feeling which is often described as "feeling feminine". Endorphins, serotonin, testosterone - idk which ones, but this is what's happening. No wonder we get hooked on shopping!

The hormonal feelings that GGs get are probably something completely different. Have there been any scientific studies in this area? Prolly not.

[Samantha_Smile]

That's what I thought, but if I had a dollar for every "I wear X or Y because it makes me feel girly" I read on this forum the last couple of months, I could probably buy a new pair of fancy boots by now with a nice handbag to match :heehee:

I mean, what is this 'girly' feeling that, for example, makes men wear women's underwear below their 'normal' clothes to work? Why is it worth the risk?

I can't speak for everyone here, but going off what Ive read here and many other places is that 'underdressing' typically implies a degree of sexual gratification.
The thrill of going out in womens undies and getting away with it etc etc. Kinda kinky for some I guess.
The average full-on CD/TV wouldn't just wear underwear, theyre more likely to top it all off with a dress, wig, makeup, shoes etc etc.
And the above is certainly the case for myself.
This 'girly feeling' in the case of underdressers could just be arousal.
Or it could be a comfort thing (I for one think the fabrics used in womens knickers is WAY more comfy than blokes)

In terms of your own feelings?
Could just be chemical, you likened it to pride in your appearance as a male.
Perhaps its the same pride in your appearance mixed with a touch of autogyenophillia.

Maybe its the 'tactile pleasure' phenomenon thats talked of so much where dressers feel comfier wearing clothes that fit totally differently.
Again, I am certainly guilty of this, I LOVE skin fitting clothes, smooth/silky fabric dresses, boob weight on my chest, walking in heels, the smell of my perfume etc.

Maybe its an entirely visual thing, maybe you need to see yourself fully dolled up and as femme as you can make yourself before your feelings kick in.
This is partially true for me, in that I love getting dressed, but theres an extra visual boost in my self esteem in seeing my face made up nicely.

You'll never pin this subject down, I guess that's why it will be a good thread

[ReineD]

so as a GG what does dressing from first putting on your panties and bra all the way to makeup do for you or other GGs that you might know about. Do you or others get a feminine or sexy feeling as you dress?

I do feel sexy sometimes, but this is completely independent of clothing. I can feel sexy wearing a pair of jeans or something that is actually designed to attract men.

When I get dressed in the morning, I feel neutral about it just as you do when you dress male. I don't think about the lace on my panties and the drape of my top. When I put on makeup, I feel just as you do when you shave. It's a utilitarian thing.

When you ask if there's no spark, there never was. Did you ever feel a spark when getting dressed as a guy or shaving? I did feel happy as a teenager when I wore my first pair of heels and hose, but this was not a sexy feeling. I instead felt amazed that I was actually dressing like an adult. lol But, this just lasted a few times, not unlike I imagine it does for guys who are just beginning to shave. I have sons and I remember they couldn't wait to shave! Yet it felt just normal in a short period of time. Like learning to drive a car.

So no. When I feel aroused, it is independent of whatever I am wearing. Feeling aroused comes from within for me, and is not brought on by clothes. Although ... if I am aroused and I want to arouse my partner and we are planning a night in, then I'll choose to wear something that I know men find arousing. :D


I believe there's something going on with feel good hormones for some CDs as we dress that cause a wonderful physiological feeling which is often described as "feeling feminine". Endorphins, serotonin, testosterone - idk which ones, but this is what's happening. No wonder we get hooked on shopping!

You are correct, there are several brain chemicals that contribute to arousal, both hormones and neurotransmitters: testosterone, dopamine, endorphins, serotonin.

But these chemicals are released only when someone engages in behaviors that they find pleasurable. For a CDer it would be getting dressed. For a non-crossdresser it might be when they look at a girlie-magazine, or porn, or when they're about to have sex with their partners.

[Cynthia99]

Interesting question. I often wear panties to work, sometimes pantyhose and if I don't think I will have to take my jacket off a bra as well. But I much prefer to also wear a nice dress, makeup and jewelry. As I have grown older I just seem to more comfortable in women's clothes. I like them better - they are pretty, for one thing. Or can be. And heels really do make your legs look nicer. I do try to walk in a more feminine manner - which is easy to remember if I wear heels. But have gotten me some odd looks when I am wearing regular 'mens' clothes. I am like most of the people on here and I can't pass (I am so glad that there are some who do! But I am jealous also!). I don't think its the cloths so much as what they represent to each of us - which is different things. Would I dress all the time if it were possible - probably. But each of us have to answer the question you raised for ourselves - and there are no wrong answers...

[MatildaJ.]

as a GG what does dressing from first putting on your panties and bra all the way to makeup do for you or other GGs that you might know about. Do you or others get a feminine or sexy feeling as you dress?

Usually I'm just rushing around because I'm running late. Sometimes I'll look in the mirror on the way out the door and think, "good, I look well put-together," but mostly I sigh and wish I looked more put-together. Often if I dress in stereotypically "sexy" clothes I feel like I'm pretending to be a sexy woman, and I'm self-conscious that people might be laughing at me behind my back.

Everyone feels insecure. GGs do too.