I Am Paula
10-12-2013, 05:50 AM
My niece's very bright 4 year old son has never met 'Me'. We always thought the day would come, but not yet. Yesterday she texted me to say there was no point getting my guy mode on for his sake, he was old enough to understand. This being Canadian Thanksgiving, and it was her turn to host, I should just come as the real me.
This took some thought. The little guy has known me all his life as male. She promised she would prep him. This is the txt I got this morning, verbatim ( I added some punctuation, as texts seem to always run on and on.). I wish I was as good at explaining myself. Please note: My real name is Paula. I have no more secrets, so Celeste can be put to bed.
"Had a chat with Oliver tonite. I asked him to close his eyes and think deep down, and think if his body said he was a girl, or a boy. He said 'boy' and I said there are some people out there who even though they were born a boy, and look like a boy, inside they feel like a girl. He said 'ok...so they look like a boy but they like dolls and pink?' I said 'Yes', and then I explained Uncle Paul is one of those special people who were born a boy, but are really a girl inside. So we discussed how hard this would be for someone and how scary it would be, and how lucky we are that now we can fix that, and Uncle Paul can be happy now as Aunt Paula. Then I said 'Does that make sense?' and he said 'Yes, but when I'm old like Paula I will still be a boy" and I laughed and told him that would be just fine. (No offence, to him the 20 year old babysitter is old). I said if he has any questions he can ask me or Paula and he said he was cool...and then he worried he might forget to say Paula, and say Paul instead, and I told him that's normal and OK. So, done and done. The kid is cool as a cucumber."
My niece is so totally cool, and I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I thought the way she explained things to Oliver was spot on. My whole family now knows, and I'm free to be me around any of them. It has been a week of very positive steps. If you don't read my other posts, I am now gainfully (part time) employed as a woman.
To all Canadians- happy turkey day!
This took some thought. The little guy has known me all his life as male. She promised she would prep him. This is the txt I got this morning, verbatim ( I added some punctuation, as texts seem to always run on and on.). I wish I was as good at explaining myself. Please note: My real name is Paula. I have no more secrets, so Celeste can be put to bed.
"Had a chat with Oliver tonite. I asked him to close his eyes and think deep down, and think if his body said he was a girl, or a boy. He said 'boy' and I said there are some people out there who even though they were born a boy, and look like a boy, inside they feel like a girl. He said 'ok...so they look like a boy but they like dolls and pink?' I said 'Yes', and then I explained Uncle Paul is one of those special people who were born a boy, but are really a girl inside. So we discussed how hard this would be for someone and how scary it would be, and how lucky we are that now we can fix that, and Uncle Paul can be happy now as Aunt Paula. Then I said 'Does that make sense?' and he said 'Yes, but when I'm old like Paula I will still be a boy" and I laughed and told him that would be just fine. (No offence, to him the 20 year old babysitter is old). I said if he has any questions he can ask me or Paula and he said he was cool...and then he worried he might forget to say Paula, and say Paul instead, and I told him that's normal and OK. So, done and done. The kid is cool as a cucumber."
My niece is so totally cool, and I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I thought the way she explained things to Oliver was spot on. My whole family now knows, and I'm free to be me around any of them. It has been a week of very positive steps. If you don't read my other posts, I am now gainfully (part time) employed as a woman.
To all Canadians- happy turkey day!