questions, questions, questions

[felicityefeminata]

Over the past year or so, I have been more and more open about my dressing in front of my wife. I've been wearing panties exclusively, and often when we are at home, I change into capri's and a pretty top. She has never said anything about it.... my femme clothing goes in the laundry with all the rest...and we fold, sort, etc.
Its been a progression. A few weeks ago, I shaved my legs and arm pits, and again, nothing was said about it.
Well...
This past week, we took a short vacation. One afternoon, we were laying down to take a nap and my wife began to cry. I asked her what was wrong, and she just blurted out...are you going to have a sex change?
I was shocked
This is the first time she has ever mentioned anything about my dressing, etc.
I assured her I was not, just that I enjoyed dressing in women's clothing.

She then said she didn't want to talk about it...but was glad I was not going to have a sex change.

I just don't know where it goes from here. We have been together 30 plus years, and love each other very much. I am not sure if I need to pull back on the dressing...or keep on ....

I hope we can get a little more time away so we can talk it out.

Any advise, suggestions, predictions, etc. are welcome and appreciated.

[linda allen]

That's a common fear of many of our wives. That and that we are turning gay.

It's probably best to talk about these things (like shaving) before you do them.

As far as pulling back, yes, slow down a bit until your wife understands that she's not losing her man. It can be a shock for a woman to find her husband of 30 years wants to start dressing and acting like a woman.

[Laura912]

You need to have more dialogue with her and offer to get her some reading materials. Don't let things build to the point that she must start crying to broach the subject. That you have been married for thirty years says a lot about your relationship. Communication, communication, communication.....

[jackielou]

make her know you love her and have no desire to be female only that like many of us you just enjoy and feel more comfortable in female underwear and clothes treat her like the love of your life that she is for understanding and going along with your dressing you are a lucky man to have such a wonderful wife

[Marcelle]

HI Felicity,

I would recommend some dialogue for certain (when she is ready). My wife and I try to spend an hour each day talking about my CDing. Sometimes she asks for male me and sometimes female me. Either way, this is where we talk about what I want to do, how she feels about it. If there is a disconnect we work toward a compromise. Communication is key as you move forward so she doesn't think you are moving a direction she can't. Likewise, it provides you with an understanding of how she is feeling so you don't read into things as well.

Good luck

Hugs

Isha

[Diane78]

Talking it out seems to be the thing to do. I did that with my girlfriend and she accepted and even encouraged me to be my authentic self.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Over the past year or so......This past week, we took a short vacation. One afternoon, we were laying down to take a nap and my wife began to cry. I asked her what was wrong, and she just blurted out...are you going to have a sex change?......I was shocked......This is the first time she has ever mentioned anything about my dressing, etc.......She then said she didn't want to talk about it...but was glad I was not going to have a sex change......

Others have been hinting at it. There is a disconnect here. You were on vacation, the topic came up, she was distraught, you were shocked. And then nothing else happened...while you were napping together. I can't imagine a more appropriate time to talk about it. Or more so, how you did not.

I've been married the same length of time but to three different women. I hope and pray that the right one is now and think that she is. You have something special. Figure out how to cherish, not just love her. You have a big investment.

Communication, communication, communication. Feel free to keep us updated.

[Beverley Sims]

A pretty standard question, very often asked.

[Lorileah]

One afternoon, we were laying down to take a nap and my wife began to cry. I asked her what was wrong, and she just blurted out...are you going to have a sex change?
I was shocked
This is the first time she has ever mentioned anything about my dressing, etc.
I assured her I was not, just that I enjoyed dressing in women's clothing.


I am going to lay this on the line here...why the hell didn't you discuss this before? Really? You thought everything was just going to motor along with no problems? You are lucky you made it this far without any issues. She is a very tolerant woman. OK so now the cat is out...TALK ABOUT IT.

[Kiva]

I've heard the same from my wife. I tend to deny my desire to dress a lot, out of respect for her, if that makes any sense.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Like everyone else, just because she didn't say anything doesn't mean she hasn't seen anything. And you just crossed the invisible line in the sand. You need to be more open about it. Do what I say, not what I do. :-(

[felicityefeminata]

thank you all for the advice. If I can sum it up, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION

I know that is the right direction. And I also know I am very fortunate to have a wonderful wife who has been so tolerant. Its my turn to open up and make sure she understands I love her and always will.

Thank you all again. I never realized how much a forum like this can help

[TheMissus]

Not to change the thread direction or anything, but many here suggested the OP should remind his wife he's not female and she's not losing her man etc.

Well, what exactly is happening then? Because, in my eyes removing body hair and dressing in women's clothing is EXACTLY like losing your man. I bet she's really quite devastated with this situation. I happen to know my H does this stuff on occasion and it still leaves me feeling betrayed, so I can't imagine how a wife feels when their H does this without telling them first.

Definitely what the others said - communicate! Good luck.

[Ressie]

I would guess that after being together for 30 years there might be less talk about your day. But couples do get divorced at this stage of their relationships sometimes so don't take the relationship for granted. Ask her if she likes your new panties and tell her to be honest.