traveling for work in MA

[Theman1]

I am traveling for work in South Eastern Ma this week and I am looking for advice. I am a CD who has never been out. My dress consists of skirt, hose, and shirt but nothing else fem. I am staying close to RI and I would love to spend the night at a cd friendly local but I have some concerns.

This would be my first time out dressed! I have no wig or make-up and I worry that I would not be fem enough. Am I aiming to low? Should I just wait till I can dress more fem or should I just dive in no matter what? Do you think I would be ridiculed as an unpassable loser? I'm terrified of going to a cd friendly club and making a fool of myself.

[Beverley Sims]

Do not go out until you are ready to present yourself.
Yes you will be ridiculed and maybe tarred and feathered. :)
I may make light of the situation but I could not recommend you try and go out dressed until you have acquired makeup, dressing and other feminine skills.

[NinaP]

I suggest you perform a little recon work and visit the club first in drab. Check the place out, chat up the bartender, and watch the clientele. If you feel up to it, you can even ask the bartender or other patrons exactly how CD friendly the place really is.

Most of us are a little nervous when we visit a new place, but it is hard to enjoy yourself if you are unable to relax and enjoy the experience. Which is the whole point of going out, isn't it?

[Theman1]

Thank you. I was so focused on having time to myself that I did not totally understand the lay of the land. I was hoping to be able to go to a cd friendly bar in Providence RI in just semi fem garb. I guess that this would not be to my advantage. It's just that I only have time to semi dress in the privacy of my home. I never invested in the accouterments that would present to the outside world. I wondered how a cd would come across in just half fem clothes. I guess I'll just keep Silvia in the hotel. :(

[Michelle (Oz)]

Presenting as mixed male and female is braver than me but I admire you for thinking about doing so.

Work on building up a few more basics such as wig and makeup and you'll be good to spread your wings.

[Secret Drawer]

I have done the half and half presentation thing in Providence on a few occasions. The problem is that if you don't know the neighborhoods you may end up in the wrong part of town at the wrong time! The university areas, more behind "downtown" on the hill seem pretty safe and most people have seen it all or are not interested in you anyway. But... there are working class and ethnic neighborhoods where people do not have open minds so much! Recon is a very very good idea! New England is such a mixed bag, it is the same with Boston, I may steer clear of Hartford, but some parts of CT are good...

[jjjjohanne]

Going out at night seems safer, but it probably isn't. Going to a bar means going where people are sitting around and possibly people watching. That's pretty scary to me. Busy people pay less attention to us crossdressers. Shopping malls and grocery stores are rather safe places, in my opinion. Daytime outings are safest. If you go to the mall during school hours, you are going to run into grandparents and moms with little kids, etc. They will not mess with you. The store clerks are on the job and will treat you with respect. I only go out as a man in a skirt and have pleasant experiences. If you go out in the evening, going to a dinner theater or a cultural-type event might be better. I am saying in several ways that I feel more comfortable around educated and responsible people. At night, people are looking for something to do. Also, people go out at night to do naughty things. That is why I have found night to be an inferior time to go out. So when I go out, I aim for higher quality company.

[Jackie7]

Some years ago I had a time of half-dressing, I had a big chip on my shoulder and dammit it was my right to dress as I please, dammit. providence RI was one of my testing grounds. I learned that other people freaked out rather completely if I was half-dressed, or bearded while dressed, or no wig or makeup, or any other half-dressed variation. So if you want to call attention to yourself and produce unpredictable and perhaps unmanageable responses from other people, by all means stroll around Providence in a gender-bender state. But if you want a relatively safe and girly adventure, dress all the way femme, get a wig and learn basic makeup. My hard-earned 2 cents.

[linda allen]

I agree with those who say go all the way or not at all. I've never seen the point in being somewhere in the middle and calling attention to myself.

I also agree that going out in the daytime is safer and easier. Buy yourself some large female sunglasses if you want to avoid eye contact with people. They also hide a bad eye makeup job.

[Lexi Moralas]

If its not to far from where you are staying. Here is a great bar on bank street in newlondon ct. Called the brass rail.
I have been there several times day and at night during the week and weekends. I always felt excepted. There are other bars on the street all in a row that you may have to walk by depending on where you park. But it's my experience that the whole area is excepting of us girls and I have never had a problem. THere is plenty of safe parking near by. It's just a cool place.
Google it and check out there site. Good luck xx Lexi

[robindee36]

If you are going to present as a woman, then you need to complete your accessories including hair and makeup. Anything less will, as several others have already noted, do you and our community no favors.

Better to reconnoiter in drab until your presentation is complete.

Just my humble opinion.

Hugs, Robin

[Karren H]

If I posted a photo of what I looked like before I started going out you would laugh your ass off... but that's never going to to see the light of day! Lol. You have defined what you want to do and you know where you currently are fem wise.... create a plan that gets you to your goal as quickly as you can... That's what I did almost a decade ago.... Then you can go where ever you want..... Its not rocket science....