Getting back on that horse again,

[Ms. Laura]

Hi,

So, it has taken me since April to finally get back to my support group. I had an experience last time, walking by a LOT of muggles and the stares and the self doubt and the fear and the...

Anyway, it took all summer to realize that the thought of holing up in my basement again, forever, is terrifying as well. So, I calmed myself down and went, and it was really nice. It really helps having people accept you for who and what you are. Sure, there was a small amount of muggle interaction but I just let it roll off. (Funny note, 2 women asked to "pass through" the room, I think without realizing who was there. OMG, what they must have thought.)

So, now I'm stil conflicted about where I go from here. I don't want to retreat, but mixing with the general public seems stressful beyond belief. I guess for now, hang with the sisters and see where things go. My wife doesn't want me to go out anway. She's fine with the group and T-activities, but not the public. So we'll see.

And if you can believe, after 20+ years, this was the first time I ever shaved my legs with a razor! Once, I clipped them short but no razor. I wore a pretty skirt with some sheer hosiery and some cute round toe, high heel wedges, with a 3/4 sleeve turtleneck. Wish I had some pics but I don't. Maybe I'll photo the outfit at a later date.

Thanks for listening. I got a lot of encourgement from everyone leading up to my first outing and it really helped.

[Dianne S]

If your avatar picture is you, I don't think you have much to worry about. You look completely passable to me.

[kimdl93]

Well, I'm in favor, always, of respecting your wife in her attitudes. I would, however, suggest that it would be worthwhile to begin an ongoing dialogue with her about the next steps. Sooner or later, I would be that the support group will want to do an event in the community and you'll want to participate. And maybe some day, with regular involvement in the support group, she will develop an interest in meeting members and other supportive spouses. And maybe that step out into the world can be planned for a trip. With her out of town. All of this can come, with patience, constant dialogue and good will.

[Stephanie47]

Your avatar and bio page photos look fine and make you look passable. Some other photos posted awhile back not so much. So, you were made by the muggles. I think anytime there is a herd of males, there is a sense of group dynamics taking over. That leads to the unwanted comments. Safety in numbers. I believe each of us have to figure out how to express ourselves and feel comfortable. If going out is going to be stressful that may negate the entire purpose of the trip. You indicate your wife is supportive of going to a group setting and "T-activities" That may be your comfort zone. I see absolutely no reason for anyone to put himself or herself in an uncomfortable situation.

You have a supportive and understanding wife which is more than most of us are ever going to have. If your wife is uncomfortable with you out in the general public I'm sure she is concerned with your well being, physically and mentally.

I agree with Kim. Perhaps a trip with the wife to an out of town location will suffice for now. Maybe involvement in a support group will turn into a friendship or two that leads to in-home dinners.

[Janice An]

I totally agree with dawn03, you look great. If I could look that good I'd be out all the time!!

[Beverley Sims]

Laura,
Stay up on that horse and go to support meetings and keep the rest of your activities at home for the time being.
You probably are in need of more practice out in public, so, go steady for the time being.
It is not only SO's that need to get used to situations, "we need to as well sometimes."

[Ms. Laura]

Oh yes, you're absolutely right. I don't hide ANYTHING from my wife and always talk to her about things. Well, I only only hide things that cost less than $20, but nothing else! And Kim, the group is having a Holiday party, which is private, but in a public location (Hotel) and she is cool with that. I think that she worries about my safety as much as anything. It'll work out. Like you said Beverley, I do need practice and time to get used to the idea of being out myself.

Thank your for the votes of confidence on appearance. I do present well, I get that, but very, very few of us pass any real scrutiny, and I certainly don't.

I think my wife would be fascinated to go to a meeting but she's afraid of being "made" because of her job.

[Rebecca W.]

Laura,

Reading stories like yours are such an encouragement for shy girls, like myself. I really admire people who make the extra push to get out in public. You look so pretty when you are dressed that I cannot believe that you that you would have trouble "passing".
Have you considered going out with your wife to another city and just go shopping at a mall? Now that you have finally shaved your legs, you will have a hard time reverting back to hairy legs! You have beautiful legs, so keep them smooth!

I wish you all of the best on your next meeting with your group. Wear that nice LBD and nobody will question that you are truly a beautiful woman.

[Camille15]

Glad the outing went well! You are lucky to have a wife that's as supportive as she is! Even if you only ever get out to support groups, it's more than many on this forum do. You should be proud of yourself.

And I bet shaving your legs was a thrill!

Camille