Frédérique
10-15-2013, 02:01 PM
“How dare I be so beautiful?” (part IV of Supper’s Ready by Genesis)
The other night, or was it a week ago, or two weeks ago (?), I switched on the TV, as is my wont, and I was on the wrong channel. It’s the story of my life, I know, but there happened to be a program about narcissism going on. Just before I switched the channel I heard a woman say, “Narcissism is fascination with one’s self-image.” That stuck in my mind, and, needless to say, I thought about crossdressing and crossdressers, which is also my wont…
Around the same time, I was reading the book Nothing if not Critical, a collection of art criticism essays by the late Robert Hughes, and he was describing, in detail, the narcissism of American artist Julian Schnabel. The latter, apparently, didn’t care for Hughes (go figure), and he declared him to be a non-person because the art critic didn’t appreciate his self-appointed greatness. Interesting. Also, I began to wonder about all the posts on this site, specifically the ones where people talk about themselves in the third person, the ones about relationship problems, and the ones where one personality clashes with another. Hold on – I just got a PM from someone telling me all about themselves, and how they feel about it. My opinion was not solicited. Hmmm…
Are you now, or have you ever been narcissistic? Are ALL crossdressers narcissistic, to a certain degree, and is this a good or a bad thing? If narcissism is fascination with one’s self-image, then, it follows, the MtF crossdresser must be highly narcissistic. I mean, from the moment I first got all dolled-up and looked in the mirror, I was fascinated with what I saw, and many here would echo those sentiments. In my case, self-love was already in place, so acceptance of my new “image” was assured. Others might not be so lucky, but I think we all need a bit of narcissism…
I had to do some research about this (to mollify the closed minds, I won’t say where). How many of these narcissistic traits ring a bell with you:
An obvious self-focus in exchanges; problems in sustaining satisfying relationships; difficulty with empathy; hypersensitivity to any insults (real or imagined); vulnerability to shame rather that guilt; flattery towards those who admire you; exaggerating one’s achievements (boasting); inability to view the world from the perspective of other people; pretending to be more important than you really are; denial of remorse and gratitude; and lack of psychological awareness.
I don’t claim to be an expert (as a true narcissist might), but I think a lot of these narcissistic traits are concentrated here, in the wonderful world of crossdressing, and are represented by this site. Like it or not, pleasure in being one’s self will produce some narcissism. It’s not easy to be a crossdresser, and to keep doing so requires some defensive measures and a healthy dose of selfish behavior. You can let it all out here, and maybe throw in an exaggeration or two, all as a means to an end. Whenever I read a post describing one’s outing, dressed, into the Real World, I just smile, knowing that I am among like-minded narcissistic souls…
Narcissism can be a good thing. A bit of self-centeredness, or a bit of overwhelming self-regard, certainly can’t hurt – we need to feel like we can do anything, feel GOOD about ourselves, and perhaps impose ourselves a little. Look around – this is going on all around us, right now, on this very site. This place is the repository of healthy narcissism. I would say that being a crossdresser requires one to be narcissistic, and neither state, former or latter, is a BAD thing…
Of course, some see narcissism as a collection of deadly sins. A narcissistic individual can be shameless, or arrogant, or exploitive, or envious, seeing themselves as perfect and others as lesser beings. I’ve been the victim of such individuals, but I know that others see me as arrogant, or shameless, or worse. Perhaps I can’t “stand” toe to toe with another crossdresser unless I am equally narcissistic. I wonder. Is my house of cards bigger than YOUR house of cards? Am I causing narcissistic injury by saying that? It’s up to you, I guess, but, even though I am a narcissist, and happy to be so, I am completely harmless to you. Of course, if you’re a narcissist, you already know that, or feel that, if you've noticed me, that is...
Talking about yourself goes over big here. You can project yourself onto others, and they, in turn, project themselves onto anyone they wish. It’s addictive, and FUN, all part and parcel of being a healthy narcissist. In fact, this place is a good example of collective narcissism – I’m surprised the psychological pundits don’t point a bony finger in our direction, in regards to that notion…
You see, collective narcissism (or group narcissism) is a type of narcissism where an individual has an inflated self-love of his or her own group (in which the individual is personally involved). You can have an excessively high opinion of a group (in “our” case LGBT, or just the T), and this group functions as a narcissistic entity, with all of the characteristics, good and bad, that I have already alluded to. That may explain a few things, but please don’t take that the wrong way…
Well, thanks for reading. I have to get back to looking at my “self” in the mirror, in my favored self-absorbed state, per the requirements of being an MtF crossdresser. Are you narcissistic, darling?
:thinking:
PS – Don’t confuse narcissism with egocentrism, OK? :naughty
The other night, or was it a week ago, or two weeks ago (?), I switched on the TV, as is my wont, and I was on the wrong channel. It’s the story of my life, I know, but there happened to be a program about narcissism going on. Just before I switched the channel I heard a woman say, “Narcissism is fascination with one’s self-image.” That stuck in my mind, and, needless to say, I thought about crossdressing and crossdressers, which is also my wont…
Around the same time, I was reading the book Nothing if not Critical, a collection of art criticism essays by the late Robert Hughes, and he was describing, in detail, the narcissism of American artist Julian Schnabel. The latter, apparently, didn’t care for Hughes (go figure), and he declared him to be a non-person because the art critic didn’t appreciate his self-appointed greatness. Interesting. Also, I began to wonder about all the posts on this site, specifically the ones where people talk about themselves in the third person, the ones about relationship problems, and the ones where one personality clashes with another. Hold on – I just got a PM from someone telling me all about themselves, and how they feel about it. My opinion was not solicited. Hmmm…
Are you now, or have you ever been narcissistic? Are ALL crossdressers narcissistic, to a certain degree, and is this a good or a bad thing? If narcissism is fascination with one’s self-image, then, it follows, the MtF crossdresser must be highly narcissistic. I mean, from the moment I first got all dolled-up and looked in the mirror, I was fascinated with what I saw, and many here would echo those sentiments. In my case, self-love was already in place, so acceptance of my new “image” was assured. Others might not be so lucky, but I think we all need a bit of narcissism…
I had to do some research about this (to mollify the closed minds, I won’t say where). How many of these narcissistic traits ring a bell with you:
An obvious self-focus in exchanges; problems in sustaining satisfying relationships; difficulty with empathy; hypersensitivity to any insults (real or imagined); vulnerability to shame rather that guilt; flattery towards those who admire you; exaggerating one’s achievements (boasting); inability to view the world from the perspective of other people; pretending to be more important than you really are; denial of remorse and gratitude; and lack of psychological awareness.
I don’t claim to be an expert (as a true narcissist might), but I think a lot of these narcissistic traits are concentrated here, in the wonderful world of crossdressing, and are represented by this site. Like it or not, pleasure in being one’s self will produce some narcissism. It’s not easy to be a crossdresser, and to keep doing so requires some defensive measures and a healthy dose of selfish behavior. You can let it all out here, and maybe throw in an exaggeration or two, all as a means to an end. Whenever I read a post describing one’s outing, dressed, into the Real World, I just smile, knowing that I am among like-minded narcissistic souls…
Narcissism can be a good thing. A bit of self-centeredness, or a bit of overwhelming self-regard, certainly can’t hurt – we need to feel like we can do anything, feel GOOD about ourselves, and perhaps impose ourselves a little. Look around – this is going on all around us, right now, on this very site. This place is the repository of healthy narcissism. I would say that being a crossdresser requires one to be narcissistic, and neither state, former or latter, is a BAD thing…
Of course, some see narcissism as a collection of deadly sins. A narcissistic individual can be shameless, or arrogant, or exploitive, or envious, seeing themselves as perfect and others as lesser beings. I’ve been the victim of such individuals, but I know that others see me as arrogant, or shameless, or worse. Perhaps I can’t “stand” toe to toe with another crossdresser unless I am equally narcissistic. I wonder. Is my house of cards bigger than YOUR house of cards? Am I causing narcissistic injury by saying that? It’s up to you, I guess, but, even though I am a narcissist, and happy to be so, I am completely harmless to you. Of course, if you’re a narcissist, you already know that, or feel that, if you've noticed me, that is...
Talking about yourself goes over big here. You can project yourself onto others, and they, in turn, project themselves onto anyone they wish. It’s addictive, and FUN, all part and parcel of being a healthy narcissist. In fact, this place is a good example of collective narcissism – I’m surprised the psychological pundits don’t point a bony finger in our direction, in regards to that notion…
You see, collective narcissism (or group narcissism) is a type of narcissism where an individual has an inflated self-love of his or her own group (in which the individual is personally involved). You can have an excessively high opinion of a group (in “our” case LGBT, or just the T), and this group functions as a narcissistic entity, with all of the characteristics, good and bad, that I have already alluded to. That may explain a few things, but please don’t take that the wrong way…
Well, thanks for reading. I have to get back to looking at my “self” in the mirror, in my favored self-absorbed state, per the requirements of being an MtF crossdresser. Are you narcissistic, darling?
:thinking:
PS – Don’t confuse narcissism with egocentrism, OK? :naughty