Questions about crossdressing

[jenni_xx]

I'd like to ask some questions to you all in regards to your crossdressing. I'll ask the question and provide my own answer (which will be in italics) after the question itself.

Ok, here goes

1) What is your earliest memory and/or experience of crossdressing?

My earliest memory was when I was around 5 years old. It was also my first experience of crossdressing. A moment in which my sister and two cousins dressed me up. Internally I was loving it, couldn't understand why I loved it, but despite being of such a young age, where everything is so much more black and white and non-analytical, I pretended to hate what they were doing to me - I was acting externally at complete opposition to how it made me feel internally.

2) How often do you dress?

For me, it comes and goes in waves. I can go several months or even years without having any desire to dress. Then I can have intense periods (again lasting several months or years) where I dress every day.

3) How big a part of your life do you regard your crossdressing to be?

For me, it's a part of who I am, but it doesn't define my whole being. It is always something that at least simmers at the back of my mind, and is something that can come to the fore of my mind at any one moment. Such as seeing a girl wearing an item of clothing on the street, or reading a magazine, watching tv, or waking up in the morning recalling a dream. Stimuli that remind me of who I am, yet never feeling that it encapsulates who I am in a complete sense.

4) How many people have you told?

I've told 4 partners. 3 of whom were girls, one of whom - my current partner, who is a man. Every single one of them has reacted differently, but only one rejected it. Other than partners, the majority of my friends, and several members of my family know. My father isn't one of them.

5) What is most important to you - risking losing a partner by telling them, or by keeping your crossdressing a secret so as not to risk losing them?

I am fortunate in this regard. I told my (now) husband about my cding the first time we met. So it was before an emotional, loving bond had been formed. Meaning that rejection (had it happened) wouldn't have been painful on either side. In the past however, I have waited till the relationship has long been established, so the fear inside of me by telling them has been great. Much more to lose in such situation. But to answer the question as I sit here now - I do believe that openness, right from the very start, is the best policy.

6) What is your style of crossdressing? Do you dress in such a way that is younger than your years (which could perhaps be construed as making up for lost time), or do you dress as you feel a woman who is a similar age to you would dress?

I've never been into the more fetishistic style of dressing. When I was younger, I did wear more provocative outfits - provocative in the sense of mini skirts, tighter fitting clothing - but now that I've turned 40 (42 to be exact), my style has changed - not only in terms of the clothes I wear, but also in respect of how I wish to present myself. By that, I mean that I rarely dress up completely - wig, make-up, clothes, etc. Now my "style" is more akin to mixing and matching both masculine and feminine clothes, rarely wearing make-up, not hiding that I am a man even when I wear feminine garments.

7) Do you go out in public?

Yes I do. But as indicated in my answer to the previous question, I do so now mixing and matching. So it's obvious to members of the public that I am a man who is wearing feminine clothes/accessories. This can range from shoes with male trousers, to a woman's coat over masculine clothes, to accessories such as jewelry while wearing masculine attire, or by wearing all women's clothes, but with no make-up, wig, forms, etc.

[kimdl93]

1. Around the age of three to four. I was already getting messages that I was 'different'.
2. About 60 percent of the time...down a bit because of work requirements of late.
3. It's a big part of who I am. I don't let being TG limit or define me, but neither do I deny or hide it.
4. I've told seven people, including my wife, step daughter, several friends and business associates. My ex wife informed my sons nd extended family, former work associates and others on my behalf.
5. Not applicable...see 4. Above
6. Very middle of the road 40-50 something casual to dressy depending on the situation.
7. All the time...everywhere I'd go in male mode and more!

[Stephania]

1) About 5 to 7 years old.
2) Now it is about 24/7 as I have the time. Has been off and on in the past.
3) Huge. It takes about every second of my day.
4) About 5. My wife, therapist, psychiatrist, and a few others.
5) Risk losing a partner. Fortunately this didn't happen to me.
6) A little mix of old and young. Mainly my age though. (55)
7) To a LGBT meeting.

[Sister Rachel]

1)
Aged three or four, put on my grandma's knickers .. liked it.
2)
Through my life, pretty much the same pattern as you, Jenni! Currently once or twice a week, since coming out fully to my wife and being accepted.
3)
Again, Jenni, I might as well just copy and paste your own answer .. it's exactly how I feel.
4)
My wife is the only sexual partner who I have ever told, but I've also (recently) told some close friends and one of my sisters, and my wife has told my step-daughter and her partner, so I reckon that now at least a dozen people are in the know about me.
5)
In all my previous relationships, it was definitely more important to keep the relationship by keeping the dressing secret, although as, like you, there have been years on end when I haven't really thought much about putting on a skirt, this hasn't all been about denial and hiding, just not an issue.
(Thinks) In retrospect, I'm sure that my first "real" girlfriend ( we're going back to '72 here) would've been quite into it :doh:
6)
I have two styles, I sometimes indulge a fetishistic thing involving layered petticoats, suspenders and stockings, pink tutu skirt etc .. rediscovering my "inner princess" 50 years too late .. but usually I just put on black tights, a simple dress or a plain knee-length skirt with a basic printed top. I don't "dress my age" .. pleated long skirts just don't appeal! I don't have a wig or do makeup, although I might one of these days!
7)
No, I couldn't carry it off, and anyway, it's basically a private thing for me.

Hugs,

Brenda.

[Teddie]

1. I think I was 8 and it was my mothers Platex rubber girdle.
2. Underdress all the time. Fully dress a few times a week. I'm retired and the wife loves my fem side.
3. Oh. I would be very unhappy if I couldn't CD. So, it's a big part.
4. Not many. I think there's 5 people that know.
5. Well. I don't keep it a secret from my partner. She loves doing my makeup.
6. I dress my age. Even to wearing jeans, slacks, and comfy clothes.
7. I have. But, I don't need to.

[Bridgetlagurl]

1) 3 years old, my sisters dressing me up

2) As often as I can.

3) Has become every waking thought. Was not always like that, but around 50 it started to really become overwhelming.

4) My wife all my friends some co-workers, told my sister but she acts like She can't hear me. Even sent her pics.

5) My wife loves Bridget. She finds me more attractive as a women.

6) That's a big depends on what you mean by your age. I am younger looking than my age as a male and so I think I dress to what I look age wise.

7) Yes. I think I am passible. I have been hit on more than a few times

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenni,
1. Around age 5.

2. At least once a day sometimes twice a day.

3. It's a good part of my life.

4. Just my wife.

5. I only dress at home my wife knows about my dressing
but it's a DA-DT she just doesn't want to see me dressed.
All my things are in three closets and five dresser drawers
nothing is hidden.

6. I like many styles variety is the spice of life.
It depends on my mood when I open the closet door as to
what the fashion of the day will be with three closets full
and 130+ pairs of shoes my style is unlimited.
At almost 71 I can pull off a mid 50s' look .

7. As of now I haven't been out in public fully dressed
I do go out under dressed a lot

[Beverley Sims]

1. Around the age of five.
2. About 60 percent of the time.. Varies with work commitments.
3. It's a big part of who I am. I don't let being TG limit my activities.
4.My wife knows, and I suspect readers on this forum have a good idea.
5.his question does not apply to me, fortunately.
6. Dress age appropriate mostly. Sometimes a little foray into experimentation. :)
7. I present 50 percent of the time in public, more when on holidays, 90 percent then.

[jenni_xx]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Seems like there is a commonality, at least with some of the answers, between everyone who has replied so far.

Bridget - that's a great photo. Thanks for posting it :) One thing you said is something I would like to explore further if you don't mind. You say that at around 50 the feelings/desire to crossdress started to become overwhelming. I'm 42, so haven't reached that age yet, but in my own experience, as I pointed out in my OP, my dressing now is more mix and match. When I was younger, I did make more effort (and had the desire) to present fully as a woman - make-up, hairstyles, forms, etc as well as clothing. Currently however I rarely, if ever, wear make-up, forms, instead just being happy to wear certain items, or even dress fully in female clothing, but not hiding the fact that I'm a man. I wonder if, in the future, my "style" or desire to crossdress will change again, perhaps going back to wanting to present fully as a female. So in response to your point about when you hit 50, what was your dressing like before? And how did your desire to dress differ (either in frequency or presentation) when you were younger to how it does now? This question can be opened up to everyone - namely, how has everyone's approach to their crossdressing changed over the years (in terms of presentation/style/frequency/etc), if indeed it has changed at all?

Again, thanks for the replies everyone :)

x

[Tina_gm]

1. My 1st crossdressing experience was just after birth! The nursery had run out of blue hats so they gave me a pink one. My father was none too pleased about this lol. later that day they got me a blue hat. So I have you all beat haha. (memory is kinda fuzzy on this however) While as a child I was smaller than most, and probably a bit more emotionally fragile than most boys, my 1st cognizant desire came at 17. I was in a club and there was a college age girl whom I began noticing. At first it was the typical attraction kinda thing, but then suddenly I began to want to look like her not just be with her. The feeling freaked me out, I left the club, blamed it on alcohol. The desires began resurfacing in school soon after and have been with me since. While through the years there were a handful of occasions where I would try on some clothes of a GF, I would feel sick at what I was doing and immediately take them back off. A lot of denial through nearly 3 decades. The desires intensified with my current wife and I began trying on her clothes, now feeling sick not at what I was doing but that I was sneaking this. So in December of 2012 I told her about my CDing desires and have been dressing since.

2. It varies, but I would say on average about 3 to 4 times weekly. Usually for about 1 to 2 hrs at a time, with occasional opportunities for extended times.

3. Actual dressing is not a huge deal to me. Just being able to express my feminine side at home and to be free from sneaking and the ability to dress for comfort is very important to me.

4. A total of 4. My wife being the 1st, two counselors and one friend my wife has told.

5. Risk losing my wife, which I did when I told her.

6. My style is just wearing comfortable things for the most part. fem girl jeans, short shorts, some dresses, some tops, and high heels about 4"

&. No.

[JustWendy]

1) My earliest memory of actually trying on an article of clothing is age 13 – it was a one-piece bathing suit. I had easy access to it for weeks and with each day the temptation to try it on grew. I finally gave in, I loved how it felt, and knew I would be trying on other things.

2) I currently have the opportunity to dress frequently, and I do.

3) My feminine nature is a part of who I am. Dressing is an expression of that. I’m sure my personality is also an expression of it, but for the most part I think I just come off as being a nice sensitive guy. I don’t get down during the periods I can’t dress, but I’ve learned to appreciate and enjoy the time that I can.

4) I’ve told no one, but my former spouse found out – this was before the internet and the availability of the great advice on this forum. My dressing wasn’t the ultimate reason for our separation; it was, however, one of many stressors.

5) I’m not in a relationship and am not looking for one. If that should ever change, I would rather be honest and risk losing the relationship, than to ever hide this again from someone that close to me.

6) I think my choices are age appropriate. Having said that, when en femme with makeup, I think I look a little younger than my age, so I may dress like a woman in her 50’s (instead of 60’s). Still, modestly dressed.

7) No.

[lovetobedani]

Hello all...............My story is very much like most here.

1) My earliest memories are from about age four. I played with and put on my mothers bra but not started dressing fully until I was about 13. My mother had so many wonderful things.

2) For me it comes in waves. It seems like the more stress I have the more female I want to dress. I do at times wear panties and pantyhose under my male clothing when I go to work. If I could and had the time to I think that I'd dress fem most of the time.

3) Dressing fem is part of me and is always in my thouights but does not consume my life. I do agree that when I see a woman with her hair and makeup done perfectly or wearing something that I like I wonder how it would look on me or wanting to look like her.

4) I'm easilly embarrased and still closeted but have told 2 people. One helped me with a makeover the other is a female friend and prospective significant other.

5) I would say that keeping it a secret is more important to me.

6) My style is that of a woman my age. I tend to be attracted to skirt suits and elegant casual wear.

7) I've never been out and I don't know whether I would or not. I would like like to have a special group of friends who get together one a month or so to dress fem and have like a dinner party. If one doesn't want to go out dressed then they can dress at the home we meet at.

[sometimes_miss]

1) What is your earliest memory and/or experience of crossdressing?
Mom dressed me in my sisters clothes when I was a toddler.
A child molester dressed me in his sisters clothes when I was six.
I started dressing on my own soon after, because I was told I was really supposed to be a girl and should learn to be one.

2) How often do you dress?
I don't. I'm on a sabbatical since May. I'm trying to remain a 'dry' crossdresser. I'm still a crossdresser, but I will not crossdress today. One day at a time.
For the past dozen years, I would frequently dress as a girl every day.

3) How big a part of your life do you regard your crossdressing to be?
Right now, very little. For while I think about it at some point every day, I don't do it, and try to keep myself busy with other things; idle minds are the devils' workshop.

4) How many people have you told?
Mom, sis, cousin, a few women, several therapists. Other than the therapists, only one of whom accept it. Most have removed themselves from my life.

5) What is most important to you - risking losing a partner by telling them, or by keeping your crossdressing a secret so as not to risk losing them?

I don't tell anymore. Over the last decade I have found that there are only a handful of women on the planet that truly enjoy having a crossdressing partner. The chances of my meeting one of those women and being compatible with her is less than the chance of being hit by lightning, a meteor, and winning the powerball lottery all at the same time. As I refuse to spend the rest of my life alone because of others prejudices, I don't see as I have any choice, because I won't date men.

6) What is your style of crossdressing? Do you dress in such a way that is younger than your years (which could perhaps be construed as making up for lost time), or do you dress as you feel a woman who is a similar age to you would dress?

I used to dress as how I felt; some part of me will forever remain the young girl just entering puberty, waiting to become a woman. Hmm, forty years, must be a record for puberty.

7) Do you go out in public?
No. I don't like to scare children.