Misogyny/Misandry and when parent(s) hate

[cicigurl]

I've come to realize that part of my battles with my gender identity have been that my father is a misogynist and my mother is a misandrist. My father is a very likable person who in some ways seems to truly care and love me more than my mother. How/why in the world would I want to be female given the hate I've been taught? At the same time, how can I feel comfortable in my birth gender given that my mom hates men? Does anyone else struggle with this in one form or another?

[Tina_gm]

Likely because you were born with more femininity than most other males. I see a lot of threads and posts where the members related more to their mothers. Or grew up in a more feminine environment. It is not likely that that is the cause, only that it allowed them to figure out this part of them sooner. In my case, I was closer to my father then my mother. I never had a good bonding with my mother. While my father was not in any way a hateful man, he was a very typical man who grew up in the 40's and 50's. So, where did I get it from? birth is the only logical explanation for why I am the way I am.

[Karren H]

Funny but our family joke is that the women in our family were all small breasted men hatters.... And I fit that description perfectly....

[Kate Simmons]

Nope, somewhere along the line my male half and my female half decided to stop fighting and joined forces. Works for me Hon. ;):)

[ReineD]

Cici, you need to separate yourself from your parents' issues and realize that you are your own person with your own particular personality, beliefs, system of values, etc.

[giuseppina]

Hello Cici

It sounds to me that there is a lot of conflict between your parents. That is not a healthy or positive environment to grow up in.

Perhaps a qualified and licensed mental health counsellor can help you sort things out. I'm guessing here, but I suspect the gender identity is what therapists call a presenting issue. That means that is what brought you to therapy, but it isn't necessarily the real issue. In my case, the gender identity issue is a coping (escapist) mechanism for bullying, and has been for most of my life. The crossdressing is probably part of me now.

A consultation with your family doctor is an excellent place to start the process.