Where do YOU draw the line?

[Brooklyn]

Some of us underdress. Some dress fully, but only at home. Some step out, but only to support group meetings or safe places. Others may go out almost anywhere, but stop at permanent physical changes. Some pierce their ears, some get electrolysis, and a few of us may decide eventually to step into womanhood as much as medical practice can permit. These are just examples.

Do you have a boundary, and has it moved over time? Have your SO, job, family, and other circumstances set the boundary for you? Given the opportunity, would you take it further? Or, do you feel that you have reached a point of balance? If you are at some point of stasis, how did you reach it?

Personally, I draw the line at HRT and dressing in front of certain family members. Although I probably could take things further, I feel like I've reached more unity with my femme side since becoming more open about being trans, meeting others like me, and immersing myself in beauty school, where being different is perfectly normal.

Thanks for any insights or stories,
Ashley :rose:

[AllieSF]

I was going to say that I do not draw a line but I do. It is drawn around my male friends, family and acquaintances. Otherwise, I am letting myself grow as best possible with no external nor internal interferences. Hopefully, it will work for me. I shall modify that line when and if necessary, and hopefully with little internal struggles over it.

[Rachel Morley]

I would describe myself as a "somewhat serious crossdresser" ... by that I mean one that is quite feminine in the way I dress in boy mode and has changed some things about myself that are quasi semi-permanent like ear piercing, face and body laser hair removal, eyebrow shaping, etc. So I guess my drawing the line is rather like yours in that I don't think I want to go as far as HRT and I have not told my parents (who live a long ways away) or my co-workers, but the rest of my immediate family, like my wife and step son and people that affect my everyday life (outside of work), they already know.

[Rachael Leigh]

My line drawing has changed overtime. I would use to never think about going to a store and buy panties or bras without buying a cover item. Now it's like no big deal. I only use to shave a few winter months and never wear shorts in public with smooth legs. Now who cares is my attitude. So yeah I guess as I get older I'm just like does it really make that much difference.
Now I still would not go in public enfem but what's funny I have worn girls shorts and tops while walking in the park but not enfem so not sure what that says. I also don't care about trying on ladies clothes at stores anymore I would never have done that years ago.

[Calbab]

Well Ashley, that line seems to get moved around an awful lot! At least it has in my particular case... I lived alone for a few years.. As one member of this forum said in a different thread, I "had a spoil of riches" when it came to my opportunities to dress and GO OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.. I should have had the courage to do so... But now, being a husband and father makes it very difficult to even take part in it.. I don't regret starting a family, but I wonder if I had been 'bold and daring enough' to go out partially, or even fully dressed ten years ago, if I would have created a MONSTER, or satisfied the need to a point where I wouldn't have to do it anymore... I think you and I know the real answer to that question, but it is still a rather intriguing one to ask

[ReineD]

My SO has long hair, long finger nails, shaves all over all the time, plucks her eyebrows, has pierced ears, and has had laser beard removal. She goes out in public everywhere that he goes in guy mode, but in the next town over. She does not want her work associates to know, nor her family, nor some of our more conservative friends. I also do not want our community members to know, nor my sons. Anyway, she has reached her point of balance and she also has no interest in HRT.

I dare say that if other members of this forum had had the life that my SO had, most would be in the same spot. My SO has never been constrained by a non-supportive partner, her family lives in a different state, she has never had children, and other than the town that we live in now, she has always lived in medium to large cities.

What I'm saying is that I believe that most CDers will go as far as they can, given their life circumstances. Even if they don't think so ahead of time. :p

[Eryn]

Reine, as usual, hits the nail on the head!

My line is drawn at actions that would harm my wife, my children, and my commitment to support them. I don't go out close to home and don't share my CDing with anyone in my local circle of friends. My adult daughters know, but we chose not to tell them until they had moved away to college, as keeping my secret from local friends would have been stressful to them. I live in California, so I am protected by fairly strong TG rights laws if I encounter problems with my employers, but I don't intend to become a test case. It's more prudent to be conservative and enjoy what I can when I can.

[sandra-leigh]

From the time that I started thinking that maybe my cross-dressing was about more than just the clothes, I have not set any boundaries beyond which I have told myself that I will not cross. I have, though, had comfort levels around what I have been willing to do at any particular time.

At the moment it is difficult for me to picture having SRS; I see some benefits, but at the moment they do not feel worth the pain and maintenance effort. But I do not draw a line at SRS: I am quite clear to myself mentally that potentially I might want it at some point, when circumstances change. Likewise it seems unlikely to me that my primary sexual orientation would change to be focused on male partners: I just like women too much for that possibility to feel realistic. But I leave it open.

There are some things that I would like to go further on, with a legal name change being my first priority. There is at least one thing I would like to do but I need to prioritize it against breaking up my relationship, which is something I do not rule out.

[Jenniferpl]

Violating the trust of my accepting wife. This includes nothing in front of the kids, going out in public and bottom line doing anything that would embarrass her.

[Zooey_91]

I'll only draw the line after I physically become woman, I'll hopefully be starting HRT soon.

[Beverley Sims]

I reached a balance a long time ago I have acceptance from my wife and go out dressed when I am away from home turf.
When traveling I will dress 24/7 and act discreetly.
Meet others for coffee or attend meetings and gatherings.
Gave a talk once to a group. Talk about an ego boost.
No pushing the public boundaries if not necessary and the same with political comment and local laws.
Better to live to fight another day than spend free nights as a guest of a local prison organisation or in the case of the UK, "Her Majesty's Government" :)

[Erica Marie]

I am not one to rock boats, so for me family and work kinda put a stop to any real physical changes. You could say I am still in the closet, just that my closet door only opens in other cities. Family and friends do not know but I am starting to venture out.
I think if I knew about the support from forums like this when I was back in my teens and coming out of high school I may have taken a different life path. But as time goes things fall into place, they may not always be the right place or the most perfect place but it still is how it is. So now I make the best of my situation.

[Calbab]

Yes, Erica... I also wonder about a 'different path' my life could have taken if I knew then what I know now.. As a "freshly-minted" forty-three year old, I'm a little more likely to take chances.. Even if I'm only going out dressed from 'the neck down', that is much more than I would have dreamed of doing when I had a complete wardrobe, and the freedom of being a single man! (maybe TG)

Maybe I would have been terminated from my current job and homeless at the age of thirty-three, though... And "hitch-hiking cross country to San Francisco" looking like Marilyn Monroe

[EllenJo]

Great question Ashley. I have an accepting wife but she does have a few boundries which match my own restrictions pretty well. I am strictly a crossdresser, no HRT or SRS in my future, just not my thing. My wife is the only one that knows and after many years of DADT is fine with me dressing at home. I have underdressed for years and she was fine with that and so was I, but eventually something changed and I needed to do moreand by that time she was ready to accept more. She still does not wish to see me in full dress wig and make up but any clothes I wish to wear are fine with her. No where near passable so really have no desire to go out in public. Most of the time I enjoy dressing around the house whenever I feel like it which is almost everyday. I have no problem shopping in drab and trying on items at the store. I don't care if the SA knows that I am buying for myself but this came about after many years of being nervous and making up ridiculous cover stories that no one believed. I have thought about joining a group but there are not any close to where I live so maybe after retirement if the opportunity arises. I am in a good place and feel very balanced at this point in life, we will just have to see what the future brings.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[kimdl93]

I probably wouldn't consider surgery,and I don't anticipate HRT. although I'm out to quite a few people there are still family members that I wouldn't dress around.

[CarlaWestin]

Ahh, yes. The line that always beckons to be moved. My line is permanently fixed at anything that would affect income or family. Although the company I work for has a rigid gender tolerance policy and my family would accept me as me, no matter how I desire to present, I simply operate more efficiently and productively in male mode. At this point, I'm pretty good at it but, I'm getting really good at female, too. I'm always looking for the adventure of moving the line. Higher heels, more crowded venues, spending more time out fully dressed. My desire for after I'm retired is pierced ears and shaped eyebrows. Of course there's the fantasy line moves. Permanent make-up, implants, etc... I don't see that happening ever but, it's fun to fantasize.

[I Am Paula]

It was only about 2 years ago that I labelled myself a crossdresser. Circumstances allowed me to go full time, I guess making me a really gung ho crossdresser. If asked, I had no plans for transitition or HRT. Line drawn in sand.

2013, I started HRT, but no plans for any surgery other than breast enhancement... Line nudged a bit.

Later in 2013, Lasering facial hair, booked boob job, contacted Dr. Brassard about SRS... Line obliterated.

[Laura912]

Reading the answers poses a question. First, our line (spouse and me) is not to create exposures that would compromise our relationships with friends and families. The question is, is the flexibility of the line inversely proportional to the age of the dresser? It seems from the above answers, that the older the dresser, the more fixed the line is.

[Tina_gm]

My personal lines are nothing permanent. no laser, or boob jobs. no hrt or any other surgery. As far as telling people, anyone who I would consider to take the news very hard, or have a difficult impact because of, except for my wife. So other than her, that means just about everyone in my circle of friends, work and family. If at some point I feel any of them would be ok with it, I may tell someone else. I would also have to feel 100% confident that anyone else I would tell would be able to keep it to themselves.

[daarleane]

Reading the answers poses a question. First, our line is not to create exposures that would compromise our relationships with friends and families. The question is, is the flexibility of the line inversely proportional to the age of the dresser? It seems from the above answers, that the older the dresser, the more fixed the line is.


"Tain"t necessarily so", to me the older I became the more freedom I enjoy. My children are grown and I have retired. My SO know of course, so the only thing that really limits me is me. Your are correct of course, that family and friends create responsibility"s that must be met regardless of age.

[Kate Simmons]

Since I am in touch with myself and all of my feelings, there is no clear "line" drawn in the sand. Things change all of the time and nothing is out of the realm of possibility. It all goes according to my choice, however and I and I alone am responsible for my actions. :battingeyelashes::)

[Lexi Moralas]

I fully dress and will go just about anywhere so long as there is no possibility of being seen by some one who knows my male persona. My boy and girl sides are very separate. I draw the line at anything that might bleed one side in to the other.

[Karren H]

Lucky for me I can't draw......

[daviolin]

I have come to the conclusion that I am just a clothes horse to the max. I don't go out anymore in public. I got burned out on it. It was to much of a hassle. I like staying home and just playing in my clothes, doing fashion shows and photoshoots. Also the wife prefers I do it this way. She thinks its safer. And shes right. Just give me a closet full of girly clothes a mirror and a camera and I will be happy. Daviolin

[Stephanie47]

Jennifer's response covers my attitude. The only clarification I would make is the word "accepting." Accepting does not necessarily mean "participating." My wife for forty plus years accepts the fact that I cross dress, although she has not interest in participating. If participating makes her uncomfortable, then so be it!


Violating the trust of my accepting wife. This includes nothing in front of the kids, going out in public and bottom line doing anything that would embarrass her.

I am a retiree. My wife works, so I do get ample time, like today, to be Stephanie. I limit my cross dressing to the home. I have ventured out in the evening for strolls in a residential neighborhood. I found it rather boring. I would find walking with no purpose in drab to be boring too!

If my wife were to pass on to the next level, then I would probably dress 24/7 with some exceptions. I do not pass and never will. Being married I have sufficient interaction with humanity right now. f I did not have her, then I maybe would seek out similar thinking cross dressers for some social interaction. Right now I am content where I am in life.

[Frédérique]

Do you have a boundary, and has it moved over time? Have your SO, job, family, and other circumstances set the boundary for you? Given the opportunity, would you take it further? Or, do you feel that you have reached a point of balance? If you are at some point of stasis, how did you reach it?

I reached a point of balance without trying to do so. Maybe I’m attuned to my bio-rhythms or something. I have self-imposed boundaries, based on common sense and my own resources. I am not interested in taking my crossdressing any further, since I’m happy as I am. I retain a healthy appreciation of wonder at all times, turning the innocuous into the magical…

PS - When I "draw the line" it's an outline (I'm an artist)...:heehee:

[Suzanne F]

The line has moved for me after coming out to my wife 8 months ago . Now I go out fully dressed and love it. I readily admit that this is more than clothes for me. I from a young age wanted to be a girl. I want to find the balance between who I am and what my wife needs. We are working together in this. It is scary but worth it! If I had my dream I would be totally out and dress whenever I wanted, maybe 24/7. That is not possible now. It may never be. But today I have enough and my wife has enough. That is enough!
Suzanne

[Bea A]

Just this past weekend, my wife and I had a major discussion about boundaries. Her deal-breaker is doing anything that alters me physically (SRS, hormones, BA). I told her that I absolutely detest EVERYTHING about male clothing and have moved all of it to the guest room. I have assured her that she will always come before Lisa. The status quo of dressing intermittently was no longer acceptable to me. So now... My male clothes are "work" clothes - those necessary for my job to support our family and maintain our privacy to those I am not out to yet. Any new clothing, shoes, jewelry, etc. bought other than "work" will be exclusively female and are just "my clothes". I have worn panties 24/7 since coming out to her 6 years ago. I am content with this.. and so is she. My dressing is no longer a hobby or want.. it is a need. Outside of the house will be "stealth" - so as not to risk our privacy - with the exception of Tri-Ess meetings. My purse sits proudly on the counter. My makeup case is on the vanity in the bathroom. Life is good ! :)

[Allesandra Rhodes]

I reached my balance a few years ago. I can safely say I've done it all and had my fun. From my teens into my twenties and beyond, coming out, going out, dressing infront of family, having relationships in which my SO knew all about me etc.. My environment doesn't allow me to dress outdoors, although with some careful relocation that will change. I doubt I'll ever physically try to alter myself. I've found that happiness doesn't come from looks alone. I have the things that I earned, and a few friends online to talk to and perhaps meet (as I have in the past). I am for the time being "comfortable" in life.

[Darla]

I'm still kinda finding my way through this whole mess, and the limiting factors are about the life I've constructed for myself. Kids, family, wife how not really accepting, a community that's a little less than tolerant or non-judgmental. But I have to take ownership of my own life and say that it was of my own choosing - not some life that was chosen for me.

That said I feel like with no constraints and unlimited financial resources I'd be living in a studio apartment on the way to transitioning, dressing 24/7 and presenting all the time. And oh yeah, with a gorgeous boyfriend too.

So yeah - I'd e trying to take it as far and as fast as I could until for some reason someone tried to get in my way, and even then I'd pivot on crocodile skin heels, duck and weave and go straight to the finish line.

Whew. What an admission. Good question.

Darla

[KateSpade83]

I'm just a clothes crossdresser, I'll never have a sex change. Will never mess with men, either. But I thought about getting temporary HRT for awhile - the Mods deleted my thread about taking HRT temporarily so I might have to ask that question again. I want more of a hourglass figure, but if HRT prevents me from getting an orgasm I guess I don't need it. And it would be embarrassing going shirtless if I had breasts.

[I Am Paula]

Kate Spade- No doctor will ever give you hormones to get an hourglass figure. Self medicating is like Russian roulette with five bullets in the gun. You said it, you're a crossdresser. HRT is not for you!
Read this before the mods delete your post again.

[Rogina B]

For me,I don't believe in a fixed line similar to someone describing ethics.I work for myself,my skills are in great demand,and I don't have the fears from putting it out there.However,I am a realist and don't feel that HRT is good for my body with what I do for work,and I know my transition ship sailed long ago. So,I will continue to live a gender fluid life and be true to myself,no matter what.When something brings inner peace and happiness,you had better embrace it cause life is way too short. My thoughts,anyway.

[PretzelGirl]

Boundaries? What Boundaries? Mine still seem to have that fluid movement to them. Right now I don't let it get into work deliberately (I may get seen downtown), a few family members don't know yet, and ..... that is it I think. I have been around friends, family, my doctor, and many thousands of people who shop. I have long hair, pierced ears, and way obvious on the ongoing electrolysis results. So I am only into this a little.

[giuseppina]

As for (semi) permanent changes, I don't see going beyond one or two pairs of holes in my earlobes. Breasts and hips can be achieved with prosthetics. With my family history of male cardiovascular issues ending lives before 70 years, I don't think HRT is wise given the risk of unwanted blood clots in the wrong places. I don't dislike my genitals as some transsexuals do. I do have a fantasy of breasts large enough to be uncomfortable without a bra, but it will remain a fantasy barring unforseen, and in my family unlikely, medical issues.

I don't see going out in my hometown where I presently live. It has one of the highest incidence of hate crimes in the country.

[sandra-leigh]

The "hourglass figure" is a function of "waist to hip ratio", which HRT is unlikely to change (beyond what you might get by losing weight in other ways.) In normal circumstances, waist size is a function of rib cage size, which HRT does not change in any way.

[lauren_m]

I've been thinking about this post since I saw it last night, and this is the best I can come up to visualize things: For me, there are two somewhat concentric circles. The larger circle represents my boundaries, and I know that it's changed over time, based on whatever my life situation may be at a particular time. The smaller circle represents my comfort zone, and that, too, is dynamic, probably more so than the larger circle. Being conservative and prone to inertia in many aspects of my life, I've seldom had to worry about where my exact boundaries are, because my comfort zone is not likely to bump up against them, much less push them to expand. But it *is* an intellectual exercise that I find interesting on occasion.

For example: Going out in public? Within the big circle for a long time, but it took many years for the smaller circle to swallow it up. A trach shave? Within the big circle, but the small circle hasn't come very close so far. Face lift/nose job? Pretty much beyond both circles. Seeing a gender therapist? Within the big, occasionally within reach of the small. Self-medication? (Look, that's a bad idea, we all know it, and we all condemn it, but I'm just being honest here) I have to admit that it's snuck within my boundaries in times past, but my comfort zone fortunately kept me safe. SRS? Beyond both circles, though the larger has come close somewhat close to grazing it in times past. [On a different vector: Underdressing? Within my boundaries, I guess, and possibly within my comfort zone, but not something that's ever appealed to me].

So that's the way my circles work, but I'm more interested in what causes them to expand and contract over time. There have been times when I've felt so hopeless with my look that I haven't wanted or dreamed about expanding my borders. And yet there have been other times when, faced with the same shortcomings and challenges, I've been motivated to expand my boundaries and do whatever I can to squeeze out every bit of femininity I can muster.

Which leads me to Ashley: Do you think that your ease and tremendous success in switching between looks, and the acceptance that you've found in your current lifestyle has made it easier or harder to maintain the boundaries that you've set? Have they ever been significantly broader?

[Brooklyn]

Which leads me to Ashley: Do you think that your ease and tremendous success in switching between looks, and the acceptance that you've found in your current lifestyle has made it easier or harder to maintain the boundaries that you've set? Have they ever been significantly broader?

Since my main boundary is HRT, and I currently do not feel a need to transition, it's easy living within that limitation. But I do know hairdressers who have successfully transitioned and I love how the beauty field and my personal needs/interests compliment each other now. The downside is that the more I learn, the more effort I have to put into my femme looks. No bad hair days allowed!

[cdmcconnell84]

Personally, I don't think that my boundaries have changed that much in many many years since I started dressing. Maybe when I was *first* thinking about it, but it's been so long that even though there are still several experiences I've never had or really pursued, I can't remember a time when anything that I've done to this point really seemed impossibly beyond my comfort zone.
That is, I've dressed privately and publicly, some friends know but few members of my family though I've always sort of planned to tell them eventually, and I've grown my hair our, pierced my ears, taken supplements and consider taking real HRT after a few therapy sessions.
Most of my limits in practice have to do with my SO who is mostly encouraging, but is concerned (quite reasonably I'll) admit about any permanent body modification. So the only major point of tension since I've never had any real interest in SRS is the fact that I've thought about HRT.

[edith]

For me crossdressing is essentially a serious hobby. I spend a lot of money and time on it, and it has changed my male presentation somewhat. I've shaved most of my body hair and have reshaped my eyebrows. I ditched a beard that I'd been maintaining for several years. I'd like to get my ears pierced and start going out dressed at some point.

I won't do anything that would permanently compromise my ability to present unambiguously male. So I won't have my face whiskers or leg hair lasered, though I would love to be permanently rid of my back and possibly chest hair. And obviously I wouldn't consider HRT or surgery of any kind.

[sandra-leigh]

My desire for after I'm retired is pierced ears and shaped eyebrows.

Carla, if you've got more than a year or so before retirement, you might want to think more about getting your ears pierced sooner. The Beauty section and Accessories section here has many stories of people in environments in which they thought pierced ears would be a Problem, only to have only one or two people notice and no-one to care for more than a few minutes.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm perfectly happy right where I'm at. I'm not anxious for anything other than a 50th anniversary Mustang!

[AmyGaleRT]

My boundary certainly has moved over time. In my earliest days, it was limited to strictly at home (or in another "controlled" environment). After having come out to my fiancee, I gradually moved to emerging from the house into the world. Now I go out as Amy to a number of different places, without fear, and have, indeed, achieved some status in the local TG community as a result.

How much farther would I move the boundary if I could? I would go as far as piercing my ears and laser hair removal if I could, and if my fiancee didn't object. (She would object to ear-piercing, not so much to hair removal, I think.) But I am absolutely not a candidate for full-time living as a woman, let alone for HRT or anything beyond that. That's my ultimate "no-go" line.

But I will probably be refining my skills at presenting as Amy for many years to come, and I will be organizing the local meetups, helping out sisters here, and participating in the greater TG community of Denver and Colorado. That's more than enough to satisfy me.

- Amy

[Celina]

The line has moved for me after coming out to my wife 8 months ago . Now I go out fully dressed and love it. I readily admit that this is more than clothes for me. I from a young age wanted to be a girl. I want to find the balance between who I am and what my wife needs. We are working together in this. It is scary but worth it! If I had my dream I would be totally out and dress whenever I wanted, maybe 24/7. That is not possible now. It may never be. But today I have enough and my wife has enough. That is enough!
Suzanne

I honestly have no idea where my boundaries are. But Suzanne F's reply sums it up quite well for me. I can really relate to the wanting to be a girl thing(not sure if that's completely gone actually). And i'm doing my best to find the balance between what my GF expects of me, and at the same time trying to get Selina more out in the open. I haven't ventured outside of the house yet, perhaps I will some day :)

[Jackie7]

I think my boundaries have contracted. Ten years ago, I went out in the city all the time and in my eighborhood often enough. I had a chip on my shoulder about my "right" to dress and was willing to be in your face with it. I was considering HRT and possibly surgery.
Then I met my accepting and appreciating wife, who encouraged me out in her (now our) social circle. I have plenty of chances to dress at home and socially, I dress often and better than I used to, more age-appropriately. And I find I am no longer angry and driven, and now prefer to avoid in-your-face hassles and headaches. I do go out, but not defiantly. I've taken HRT and surgery off the table, not right for me at my age (67 now) and have come to view transition as a road not taken in my life. I haven't "grown out" of anything, but rather have grown into myself.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ashley, I don't have any lines I just dress at home my wife knows but just doesn't want to see it.

[linda allen]

Well, my line is drawn in pencil so it can be erased and redrawn, but for now, it's keeping my dressing from anyone I know other than my wife. I will occasionally go out, but I either leave after dark or finish dressing in the car and I change back before I come home. My outside activities are walking in a park or downtown city streets where I won't have extensive dealings with others.

[Jaylyn]

Ashley I was born dressing as I have said many times before. My mom was so wanting a girl as her first that she actually had already sewn me many small baby dresses. You gotta remember this took place 64 years ago women actually sewed... It took her a while to realize I was a boy apparently as she dressed me in the dresses she sewed. There are many pics still today of me in those. Caused me lots of embarrassed moments growing up as other family members would see the pics. She would let them cut my golden locks of hair until I was around four. My dad was all man and he finally had enough when he saw that she had painted my finger nails and had sewn some bigger sizes dresses for me. He took me to town and I experienced what sitting in a barber chairs was all about. He bought me cowboy boots and jeans and shirts. I actually loved being with dad and would ride with him on his oil field pumping rounds till school started for me at seven. Dad thought he had changed me back to my boyhood but I still loved playing when in moms makeup. Though now I just had to hide from dad. Mother enjoyed watching me and would secretly dress me also. I was really messed up but went to school as all boy. I had though the physical and mental extra stimulus of sneaking around and dressing behind my dads back. This went on till one day I was playing in moms hose and it had another physical effect on me at about age 12 was aroused by the dressing. I felt inside it was wrong but couldn't stop. My Sunday classes had been separated into the boys classes and girl classes at about that time also so I acted all boy in one life and secretly acted physically when I dressed. I finally decided to just be a boy. I did all the rough and tumble sports in school and stopped dressing. I then fell n love I thought my senior year and enjoyed all the teen stuff that came with that. I had a football scholarship to play for a big school but decided that I didn't want to play football anymore. I never dressed again until I was out of school and had married my life long friend and love at the age of 21. She wore lots of makeup and panty hose and was super gal to me. I still love her today 64 years later She knows I dress today and she is the one that noticed how when she was playing around once put some lipstick on me and the increase in the love making that just caused. Ummm I guess to make this long answer shorter to the questions I asked is no I can now dress to my hearts extent, be accepted by the one I love, she helps me feel my feminine feelings, and just around the house and few places around our farm/ ranch is all I ever need to take my dressing to. The ride to where I am today has been wild and fast and four kids later with nine Grandkids that don't need to know their G-Pa has a feminine side has made me happy. I have reached the balance in my dressing. I have thought of meeting other dressers but have chickened out every time. I live just a few hours of San Antonio and have talked with your friend there about meeting but for me I'm ok with life as it is now. By the way your profile pic is beautiful.... Sorry I wrote my whole life story in stead of just answering the questions but maybe you can see why I still enjoy the makeup and the CD today.

[jessiejess112]

Interesting topic and replies.
For me, I'd never dress in front of my family (parents, siblings, cousins, etc.). There's no need to, anyway, especially with the way I dress. Also, I go through very long spells where I don't feel the urge to dress at all (years, even), so HRT is not something I would consider. I just wouldn't have that level to commitment to it.

[ginafaye]

big line is it all has to stay private, adult kids,grandkids work and such ...but wife is very open about anything else...and this works for us

[EmilyPith]

Where is the line? It is drawn at the front door, behind the curtains, but I dance there in my private, guided cage.

How close to the fire can I dance and not get burned?

I have looked with envy on those who can spend time (weeks on end in some cases) being dressed, but the intoxication of being dressed, feeling right, and seeing the correct (or corrected) reflection looking back out of the mirror brings as much melancholy as it does joy most of the time.

If I spend too much time in EmilyMode it gets very hard to come back to the facade of my malemode.

I have to self monitor, appearances must be maintained.

To most, I am Ward Cleaver, not June.