First time out but where do you go?

[Chrissy52]

Ok I am 6 4" and will not pass so where does one go out to be dressed when one will not pass. There is fear in the heart to leave the house for the world about when you know every one you meet also knows you are not female.

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe a drive in the car early evening just after dusk is a good way of overcoming early fears.
You have the security of your car in this instance.
I do not advocate deserted areas or walking late at night.
Early evening window shopping is another suggestion.
Others will have better ideas I am sure.

[Diversity]

Good question. I am of a similar mind, and have started to experiment. Little used parks, beaches, and empty streets have been my choices thusfar. Also night time walks have also been good, though I don't get much time to do any of these things due to work and family. I would love to find the courage (and have the freedom) to go anywhere, anytime, but such is not meant to be at this time.
Good luck to you, Russ.
Di

[Chari]

You should not think you "will not pass at 6'4", as there are attractive GG's with that height! Pick a place where you know you will be safe, perhaps in another town where no-one knows you, and do a daylight drive thru to get familiar with the area. Going out to get a "fuel fill up" or to the post office, or a drive thru restaurant or places that are usually well lighted are other ideas. Perhaps taking a friend with you that knows about your femme side would help too. Where ever you go, what ever you wear, please be comfortable, confident, and safe!

[reb.femme]

Try finding a local support group as this is an excellent way of gaining experience with going out and meeting like minds, in a safer environment.

Rebecca

[Brynn_A]

Russ. I know more than a few GG's who are 6'3" and above. It isn't all that uncommon. Your best bet, once you do decide to go out is to dress to blend into that environment. Don't wear clubwear to the mall or shopping clothes to he club.

[Rachelakld]

First I found a nice early opening cafe and went in, ordered a coffee, drank it and left before it got any customers. Years latter I still do not have courage to go to dark or lonely areas as family orientated areas seem safer to me.

[Stephanie47]

My first outings with the intent of engaging with the public was Halloween. I dressed as a regular woman; a tasteful knee length dress, all the proper undergarments, hosiery, heels, makeup and wig. On on occasion I bought coke at a Safeway grocery store. On another I bought doughnuts. I got a compliment at the doughnut shop. The cashier at Safeway did not offer a comment, although a young knuckle dragging male had to do a fake laugh. But, it was Halloween. I was six foot one at the time, and, 175 pounds. I knew I would not pass, but, hey, it was Halloween.

Other times I would take a drive and park on a residential safe street in the early evening. I carried a small shopping bag, so it looked like I was coming from the store. I did not encounter anyone on many occasions. I also would park my car in the parking lot of a post office or library in the evening, and, mail a letter or return a book. I found I had the most security from discovery strolling in the rain. An umbrella does wonders to obscure a male face. When strolling I recommend a comfortable low heel or flat so there is minimal 'clicking' on the concrete sidewalks. Nothing like hearing that noise and turning to see who was making that sound. It is also not uncommon for GG's to wear athletic shoes when out, even if wearing a dress. I see many GG's going to and from work with the office heels in a tote bag and comfortable shoes on feet.

Take it one day at a time.

[Talisker]

Russ. You are only an inch taller than me. Wear flats, make the effort, dress appropriately and go wherever you want! You will get attention but so will tall GGs.
Shopping mall on weekday morning can be fun. Staff are bored and will talk to anyone.

[Allintime]

I personally went to a CD party :)

[Lexi Moralas]

I've heard a lot of good advice here best of which is dont assume you can't bland just tall there are a lot of taller bigger framed GG 's I know that are very pretty and quite feminine. My advice would be first your on your fem movements, your walk mannerisms ect. Dress for where your decide to go ( as others have mentioned )
Do the best job you can with hair make up ect In the day time in the fall I turtle neck sweater and. Pair of big sunglasses go a long way in my book. Details details ! You know what they say " if it looks like a duck " carry a purse ,wear jewelry, I recommend a engagement and wedding ring set( I wear a cheep one from Clair's $20) I think if people are on the fence a wedding ring tends to point them were we want them to go. Wear stick on nails If you can in a French manicure style.So at a a quick glance nothing seems out of place and no feels the need to look closer. Then pick a place that you wont have to interact with any one if you chose not to. One of my favorites was always a mall away from where I live. Early on week day morning. Malls open at 9 am but the stores open at 10 am so you can window shop and check your reflection in the store windows. Most likely the only people you will have to deal with is a few old guys having coffee at McDonalds in the food court which also opens at 9 am. Most of all try to appear confident even if you're faking it ! Hold your head high. If you look fearful or like you are hiding something it will draw more attention than if you appear like you belong there.
Omg am I long winded ! Well good luck I hope some of my rambling are helpful to you. Xx Lexi

[Lexi Moralas]

At 6' 5" and a UK size 16 I am way too big to pass, however I don't let it stop me I occasionally venture into supermarkets in the mid to late evenings, I dress casually, long cardigan, knee length skirt, black hose and below the knee boots with a small heel, full make up and long wig, complete with a hand bag, I tend to take a trolley to allow me to stoop a little, this also allows me to have something to do with my hands, I was out two nights ago wandering in and around the women's clothes department for 30 minutes or so, I can honestly say that no one took a second look at me, I don't buy anything while dressed, I wouldn't interact with people, I did admire how good I thought I looked in the large shop mirrors though, so if I can get away with this anyone can, just choose your timing carefully, good luck, enjoy.
Great advice ! You go girl! Oh and btw I see the pic on your profile. I don't care how tall you are you r are beautiful ! Xx Lexi

[susangirl]

Russ, I think most of us have been in your shoes with the same feelings. I spent many years driving around in my car and only getting out of the car in areas void of other people. In the beginning I really had a blast, but after a while I wanted more. One day while driving in Jacksonville, Fl I parked the car outside the entrance to Belks womans department at the Avenues Mall and just walked in. My hart was racing but boy was it fun. I learned one important thing that day. People don't really care that much. Before finding this out for myself I would have never thought this to be the case.

To get started out of the house and out of the car a cemetery is a great place to walk around in the open air. Almost no one is around, ever. Go to a movie in the afternoon. Yes you got to get past the ticket purchase and the ticket taker but look at the benefits. You'll have an entire movie theater to yourself or all most to yourself. Wear a skirt, nude color stockings and great pair pumps. The light from the picture scene with make your legs shinny and silky looking. Also, make sure you sneak in at least 4 beers into the theater in your purse. Damm, I love a good size purse. The beers will calm your nerves and make the exit to the car a little more fun.

Good luck on you adventures and have fun.

[kimdl93]

about 20 paces out into my front yard to move a sprinkler. A very small number of steps and yet a giant leap of faith for me.

[Launa]

I do not pass from outer space, so I get it.

I have spent a lot of cash to finally look the best I can in a classy way for my age. This is what I have to run with unless one day I get some FFS and that's just the way its going to have to be.

[candicd]

I like the beers and movie idea :o). Rebecca said to join a support group. That's what got me out of the house. search Meetup.com for LGBT or transgender or crossdresser within 50 miles of you.
I'm 6'4". Don't make excuses to get out. Go get gas and drive around a little. B and I went to McDonalds the other day and I was driving as usual. The girl said "sir" over the speaker but "ma'am" when I got to the window. I don't pretend to pass, but I do spend time working at it before I go out. You can do the same.
Wear your Nike's and Just Do It.

-Candi

[Stephanie Lynne]

I've been to a movie en femme. Thankfully, there was a bar serving drinks you could take in to movie. I love the beer idea. Much less $$. Be prepared for a trip to restroom. Hopefully, a family room is available. If not, be ready.

[BillieAnneJean]

If you are on the gulf coast and near a casino, go there. There is lots of security and they don't want you to leave, they want your money. No ape (note no gender refernce, ape is not gender specific nor is it criticizing any human group) would last long there hassling a lady sitting at a slot machine or eating in a restaurant.
Otherwise find out where the retired local semi pro basket ball players hang out. They are tall. Just kidding!

[Chrissy52]

Thanks for your input 4 beers and a show might be the ticket I will think about it

[Tearose48]

Try finding a local support group as this is an excellent way of gaining experience with going out and meeting like minds, in a safer environment.

Rebecca


I think this is an excellent idea. There is no where safer than with like minded individuals and couples.

[linda allen]

For me, dress appropriately for the time and place, then walk (in the daytime) in a city park, the downtown area of a city, or the tourist section of a city. Act like you have some place to go or something to do, don't just stand around looking confused.

[Chrissy52]

I have looked for a local cd support group and have been unable to locate one I am trying

[Lynn Marie]

Find a friend, preferably another CD. LGBT clubs in the Northwest are quite happy to have our business and often welcome us with open arms. A dozen or so CD girlfriends and myself have been going out every Friday evening for years now. On Friday, we own the place. We also frequent mainstream establishments with no problems at all. Going out with friends is fabulous whether you're 6'4" or 5'2"!

[Marcelle]

Hi Russ,

I can't really speak to the height issue as I stand 5'6" which allows me to blend (from a distance). However, within a few feet it is glaringly obvious I am a man to all who encounter me. While your height might draw more attention, I have seen plenty of women who are quite tall both in and without heels.

If your are reticent on going to public places, I would go with the support group option and this will give you time to explore more public venues with the support of others around you. If you don't, then practice your feminine movements/gestures and start small and work up. I began the way most do, a quick drive around the country side (something comforting about a car). Then a quick trip out of the car to fill up with gas, a coffee shop, a grocery store, a strip mall and so on. It does get easier each time.

The one thing I accept is that people read me but that is just the way it is and that helps me to accept myself in public a bit better.

Hugs and good luck

Isha

[robindee36]

Russ, I can only relate from my own experiences. There are a number of CD/TG groups in my area that have regular outings. I always feel comfortable in this company and grew the confidence to venture further into the world because of their support. Not sure what the situation is in your area, but this is what I would look for.

Best of luck.

Hugs, Robin