Sometimes people surprise you

[Rachel Smith]

This happened to me.

My brother always came off as one of the most bigoted men on earth. Always making snide comments about any minority. Examples; comments toward Mexicans, African-Americans, Tyrannies, CDR's or any other group that is not in the majority in the good ol' USA. He only did this in the presence of other males when the testosterone was flowing. This is one thing that always made me very uncomfortable even before I started transition and even when it wasn't about Transsexuals. All I could think was, our parents didn't raise us to be like that. I don't miss that at all.

This summer I got a new cell number and on my voice mail I recorded a message several times until I was satisfied it sounded as lady like as I could muster. One day my brother, Bill, called me but I didn't have my phone with me so he left me a message that he would call back. Sometime later he went to our parents house to visit. He ask my Dad if he had the right number as it sounded like he got a womans voice mail. My Dad called me while my brother was there to verify the number. I told my Dad it was and to tell Bill I would call him later that night. When I called Bill he explained to me that my voice mail sounded like a woman and it was always "me" before. I explained to him that it was my voice and thanked him for the compliment. Much to my surprise he said, hey I don't care how you talk, you are OK with me. A tear came to my eye and I wanted to cry uncontrollably at that moment but I didn't as we had some catching up to do. That is how our parents raised us not to be bigoted but only to judge people by how they treat you.

In response to Anne's post about Transexuals being abomination of God

Anne; I know your BIL's comments hurt you deeply but please don't judge him to harshly at this time. He and you both are going through a difficult time. People are not always what they seem. Remember like my brothers comments that were not directed at me personally but rather as a general comment to fit into a mold he felt he needed to fit into. Your BIL's comment was not directed at you personally either but it's just how some guys act.

Perhaps he really doens't feel that way and you will find he will feel differently when actually confronted with the situation. I hope you are as pleasantly surprised as I was and things work out for the best for you, your niece and your BIL.

Hugs
Rachel

[Rianna Humble]

Rachel, that is a lovely response from your brother and definitely shows how people can surprise us in the nicest of ways!

It also shows that your parents did a good job bringing you up. I hope you can share this with them in a way that shows them just how much you appreciate that upbringing.

[kimdl93]

I agree, people can surprise you. I'm glad to hear that your brother surprised you and that your father helped facilitate the moment. I do think that groups of males tend to posture in homophobic and misogynistic ways...ways that they would never act in the presence of women.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Both my dad and brother were prone to saying horrible things..
Especially my brother...we were in Key West for a wedding and they openly mocked some crossdressers and my dad called one person an "it"..

However both of them totally supported me immediately...my dads first words were "I love you more than ever" after I told them...

Now I don't expect anne's brother in law to respond the same way... but i would point out that some of the comments from people come from a place of ignorance and fear, not a place of hatred or animosity..

i believe that our acceptance is achieved one step at a time, one person at a time... a speech, movie or even a political protest is not intimate enough to get people to understand us and realize we are just like them

[emma5410]

I think it is easier for people to be prejudiced against groups when they do not actually know anyone in that group. When they meet someone in the group, or find a family member or a friend belongs to the group, it is harder to maintain the prejudice. Most stereotypes do not survive personal contact.
Each of us who transitions and lives openly is slowly changing attitudes. We put a human face on transsexualism and show everyone that we come into contact with that we are just people like them.

[Megan72]

This is very touching, thank you for sharing it. I can oly hope as I begin coming out to more and more folks I see a similar response from friends and family.

[Rogina B]

More often than not,when the "different" person is a family member or person close to them,they usually accept the difference quite easily.Bigotry and hate is easier done from a distance..

[Angela Campbell]

I have come out to almost everyone who knows me. I was quite surprised at the reactions and actually they were much more supporting than I had expected. Then again I always expected the worst. You just never know how someone will react until they do.

[Kimberly Kael]

More often than not,when the "different" person is a family member or person close to them,they usually accept the difference quite easily.Bigotry and hate is easier done from a distance..

I'd agree in general, but I can say from personal experience that family members can use differences as an excuse to keep their distance so that they don't have to deal with their bigotry.