Pass, blend or otherwise

[Erica Marie]

This is for everyone, not just those that get out.
When you dress, do you dress in a style that makes you happy, do you dress to pass or is your goal to blend.

I myself prefer to pass, but I do have guy characteristics, so on the few journeys out that I have had so far, my best hope was to blend and not be a standout. If life was perfect and I could do everything just right Id prefer to pass as a gg :(

[BillieAnneJean]

Erica,
I dress to blend but err more to the dressy side than sweats and flipflops.
For shopping a skirt and blouse.
For dinner maybe a dress sorta like office dressy.
Hair, shoes, and bling always appropriate.
I go out a lot and love it.
Billie

[Karen_Ski]

I have been told I pass very well unless someone looks closely. :) Over the past 30 plus years of going out I have worked on my voice as well and have little issues with that. When I dress to go out I usually go for the blend, preferring not to stand out and draw scrutiny. Sure there are times I may overdress for a situation but I can remember my aunt always telling me a lady would prefer to be overdressed rather than underdressed. :)

[AllieSF]

Fortunately, I dress to please myself, which most of the times helps me blend in. I do not want to disappear and do look for outfits that help me stand out appropriately for the anticipated venues for the evening.

[Jenniferathome]

Erica, I like to think that I dress appropriately, fashionably, and how I like. All three at the same time. This is blending to me. As Allie wrote, I don't want to disappear, but I don't want a spotlight either. If I wasn't happy with what I put on, I wouldn't wear it.

[NathalieX66]

I dress for the occasion. I'm the average every woman.....that's fine with me.
I'm 5' 6" , so I can slip buy as the average woman in America.
I am NOT on HRT, and all I can say is Life is Good. I would rather dress as typical ordinary female while shopping in the grocery store than male.

[Candice Mae]

I dress to look how I feel on the inside, no need to be extravagant or sexy. just a woman.

[heatherdress]

I dress in a style to make me happy, to pass and to blend.

[PattiAllison]

When I go out, I want to blend in, but I also need to feel as feminine as possible. This means wearing a skirt or dress, full makeup, jewelry, perfume, etc., etc., etc.

[suchacutie]

I'm not sure why blending and passing are mutually exclusive. I feel comfortable dressing appropriately for the occasion as any gg my age would. I think that improves my passing abilities.

[EmilyPith]

To go about my daily business without being stared at or overly noticed, I try for that... isn't that what most people want? Male or female?

Just give me my darn groceries and keep your eyes off my chromosomes.

[Loni]

i dress to be,

sad thoe those that look at me still see a old guy not a old lady,
being six foot tall,
better than 2bills on the scale,
shoulders that would be at home on the tackle line of a football team,
kinda hard to blend in.

what i would give to be a good 10 inches shorter, half the weight and six inches narrower at the shoulders.
of course a set of hips and a cute tight butt would not hurt��

[docrobbysherry]

Can't pass.

Hate dressing to blend. However, I do it when I go out with other girls. I feel uncomfortable but they don't.

I'd prefer to go with the girls in drab. But, would soon feel like the "odd man out"! And, that would also violate a whole passel of CD rules, I think!?

[Beverley Sims]

I dress to blend in most cases and comfortable as well.
I do get dressed up for a party.

[Erica Marie]

So far the consenses is blend. BUT, Also we only have responses from those of us who venture out. What about the girls that stay home behind their locked doors. We want to blend as not to be pointed out, but all the other girls here, and there are a bunch of us. Not sure how to phrase this I guess.
Do more of us want to dress to pass and be able to blend in as a gg. Or do more of us dress to just be who we feel inside, I hope that made some sense???

[kimdl93]

For me, pass vs blend is essentially the real versus ideal. I certainly pick clothes and hair styles that compensate for or minimize masculine features, but I also pick styles that I personally like. So, I guess would likely dress the same way if I passed.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Erica Marie, Although I don't go out dressed I always dress to look as feminine and natural as I can.
Whether casual or dressed to the nines I always want to look my best.

[CarlaWestin]

As far as I'm concerned, blending is passing and I generally dress to blend. But, every now and then I like to go out with, ehem, 'exaggerated accoutrements' i.e. tall heels, big breasts, etc.... just for the pure thrill.

[Kate Simmons]

I dress to be myself. Why dress to please others? What makes me happy is how I look, regardless of where I go or what I do. That is called being a free spirit. ;):)

[Cynthia Anne]

Too be honest I think I dress to pass! Although the harder I try to pass it seems the harder it is to blend! So I say, when you can't please others then you got to please yourself!

[Sarasometimes]

To blend with hopes that I'm actually passing, but I doubt it. Much of blending/passing is our movement and mannerisms. All of that is gone first time I have to speak. I do find trying to blend/pass is fun. Heck you get to dress up and wear makeup and long hair. Sounds like fun to me.

[Tracii G]

I dress whatever floats my boat that day Mostly blend in in girl mode so my chances of passing are much better.
I do like to dress on the fancier side sometimes but that is for special occasions,dates things like that.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Hard to categorise. I dress to pass but not to fly under the radar. I always put effort into presentation, i.e. makeup, body shaping, mannerisms, etc but my style is to please me but will attract attention. So I guess that I'm an "otherwise".

[EllenJo]

So far the consenses is blend. BUT, Also we only have responses from those of us who venture out. What about the girls that stay home behind their locked doors. We want to blend as not to be pointed out, but all the other girls here, and there are a bunch of us. Not sure how to phrase this I guess.
Do more of us want to dress to pass and be able to blend in as a gg. Or do more of us dress to just be who we feel inside, I hope that made some sense???

Erica, as an older CD that will never be passable, I am quite happy to just dress for how it makes me feel. I have an accepting wife so I can dress around the house as much as I want which is usually most evenings or all day when I don't have anywhere to go. I love wearing skirts and blouses, appropriate undergarments with pantyhose if it's not too hot. I call my style middle age housewife. I wear what I feel best wearing. Most days I don't bother with wig and makeup. Am I happy with this, yes. It makes me feel wonderful and very calm. My wife calls me Susy Homemaker because when dressed I am almost always busy with some type of household chore. Dressed and baking cookies makes me feel very feminine. I don't know why and frankly don't care. I guess my style would be to blend from the standpoint that I wear mostly age appropriate clothes for a woman my age. I shop in drab and have no issues trying on clothes in a store. That was not always the case but there are advantages to growing older. I really don't have any desire to be passable and go out in public. For me that seems like a lot of work that would distract from just feeling good and stress free.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[laurie01]

I dress to pass and to blend in which means dressing for the season also. I do love wearing my dresses and skirts.

[Sara Jessica]

When you dress, do you dress in a style that makes you happy, do you dress to pass or is your goal to blend.

Who says this has to be one or the other???

More often than not when I am out & about, I present myself to blend in that I give consideration to time, place, weather, event, etc. But who's to say you cannot be happy and absolutely feminine in doing so? Femininity is not defined by dressing to the nines.

[Lorna]

I have to declare myself an "otherwise". I dress at home - and occasionally behind closed doors away - but know that I would not be easily able to blend, let alone pass. Ironically, on those occasions when I have gone out "underdressed", I suppose I'm actually blending - but blending with other males, not other women, inasmuch as my outward appearance is entirely male.

At home, though my wardrobe is limited, it allows me a wide choice of styles, mostly retro, so that I can have the pleasure of trying to experience how women feel in a variety of clothes. Looking in a mirror is not usually a good idea: imagination works better.

[Lori Kurtz]

I haven't dressed in many years, but if I were to take it up again, it would be to blend. And at my age (60s), I might be able to accomplish that passably, because older women's features often are a little less stereotypically feminine. I might enjoy walking around a mall or other public place as female, and not being particularly noticed by other people at all--just accepted as a woman.

When I did dress, it was definitely not to blend. I did go out some, but only in situations where I was not likely to be in close proximity to other people. I liked being seen from a distance, where what was most noticeable was the carefully created feminine shape of my body, which I think made me reasonably passable. I loved being a very sexy, hot-looking babe who wore clothes that made the most of her assets, and who was obviously proud of what she had--especially the contents of that 38D bra. I had to stay within reasonable limits when I went out, in order to remain believable. At home, though, I enjoyed being as outrageous as I could possibly be. None of that would work for a woman of my age, of course. If I were to dress up to go out in public now, it would be as a more calm and reserved older woman, probably casually but tastefully dressed, with none of that in-your-face sexuality that I used to go for.

[Cindia]

Depends. If I plan to go out shopping or something, it would be blend. If I'm staying at home or on the rare chances I get to go out to a club, I tend to dress like a teenager or college girl, which would definitely not blend in the everyday world.

[Lexi Moralas]

I dress to pass , I have been told I pass well until I speak, lol but I am working on that.
But I like to dress on the sexier side. Not like hooker ( at least not any more , ok maybe sometimes ,lol) but like a woman that would catch my attention In guy mode .

[Richelle]

I agree with Sara Jessica. I dress the way I do to make me happy and I consider what I am going to be doing, when and what the season (weather) is. In most cases that means I will blend with GG and in most interactions pass as a women.

Richelle

[Deborah2B]

:doll: I would dress in a manner that hopefully is appropriate for the location I would like to be going. I want to look beautiful to others that might look in my direction. I try to dress in a manner to pass and blend in, but still be beautiful at the same time.

:daydreaming: Due to not wanting to use my wife's clothes and the purges we have all been through, I would need to do some shopping. I would need to get the appropriate clothes. I would need a good wig before I could go out. I would also need to get some makeup.
:newbie:

[robindee36]

Not sure I will ever 'pass' Erica. Therefore, my goal is to blend but still present my feminine attributes to best effect. That usually means short skirts and low cut tops. I keep my makeup on the tame side so as not to divert a lot of attention from the attributes ;)

Hugs, Robin

[Cheryl T]

I dress for me and for where I'm going. I'm NOT going to be in one of those "WalMartians" picture groups!! LOL.


I am perfectly happy just being one of the girls and not leading the parade, so I dress to blend and be part of the herd. Let the lions go after the others.

[Lorileah]

I usually dress to keep from getting arrested. Pass? Blend? Two thoughts, one unless you are very lucky and have a small frame and soft facial features, you are going to be made. Two, why make things difficult? Dress as you like. If you don't want to be noticed, don't go out.

[Lynn Marie]

I usually dress to keep from getting arrested. Pass? Blend? Two thoughts, one unless you are very lucky and have a small frame and soft facial features, you are going to be made. Two, why make things difficult? Dress as you like. If you don't want to be noticed, don't go out.

I love being noticed! Even in naughty librarian attire, I get noticed. Fine.

[Pumped]

With my bald head, beard and moustache I figure I am a long way from trying to pass! I just enjoy the clothing.

[jenni_xx]

When I was younger - 20s and early 30s, I found it easy to pass. Now that I've turned 42, I find it a lot harder, so at the risk of sounding like a cop out, I don't try to pass at all. I just wear what I want to wear - mix and match I like to call it, but without hiding the fact that I am male. As I've got older, I've found that it's the clothes that attract me the most, not so much the forms, make-up, wigs, etc - I rarely indulge myself with those things anymore.

When out and about, wearing both male and female clothing, the reactions have tended to be, well, pretty much non-existent. Leading me to think that people just don't really pay that much attention to anyone else while they are out and about. There are occassions when people do notice - naturally - but even when that happens, the worst I've experienced is a double-take, or a disparaging look (or rather a confused look). The bottom line is, when out (and dressed, even if only partially), I'm more likely to pay attention to others (because of my own self-consciousness) than they are to me. In other words, it all resides (the fear, the worry, the thoughts whatever they may be) in my own mind, and no one else's.

[MssHyde]

I try to dress as female as I can in every area. clothes that work the best for my areas of concern, then go where the clothes fit the best.

[julia marie]

I dress in clothes that I like, clothes that I think a woman near my age might wear, and what would fit the time/location I'm going to be in. So, casual skirts or jeans and sweaters on weekends; something more business like if I go out weekday evenings, including nylons. I would love to pass, but I'll take "blending in" because pass ain't happening unless the other person is 50 feet away.

[Paula T]

Depends if I am going shopping or out clubbing. When I go shopping I always try to dress to blend but in a somewhat classy way like business suit or nice blouse and cute shoes. That's just me in fact was out to lunch today wearing what I call "My Hillary Clinton" pants suit.:eek:

[PretzelGirl]

I am with Sara. There is a wide range between jeans and dressy. I dress appropriate for the time and place and make it something I enjoy. And then therefore I believe I blend well.

[JamieQ]

I usually dress quite casual pretty much like the girls in these rural communities in hopes of blending...but I actually think I may be passing more than I am aware of. I am getting way more girly lately tho...

[Brooklyn]

I like to stand out and look fierce! If I wanted to blend, I'd just go in guy mode.

[RenneB]

As for my neck of the woods, if I want to blend in with the locals, I'd have to gain at least a hundred pounds, find a pair of flip flops, put on my pajama bottoms with a crappy t-shirt mess up my hair ..... and that's in girl mode...!!!!

I dress to feel comfortable and somewhat fashionable. I'm usually one step up from what the vast majority of the mall walkers are wearing. Always a pair of heels and usually a skirt/dress with a nice top and cardigan. In drab mode, it's a pair of dress slacks, nice shirt and dress shoes.

Only on very rare occasions will I dress to the hilt as in "hey look at me". Flashy top, short skirt/dress, patent leather heels.. you know. I tend to save that for holiday parties....

So that's me... I dress to look good in either mode...

Renne.....

[Caitlin_85]

I know I will never pass...but that would be my ultimate goal...but even if I could just blend in, I think I would be happy. But I do buy clothes that please me to put on - no matter the style or such.

[michelle-]

The times I've dressed I've tried to look like a woman. Not sexy or ****ty or anything. Just try to look like an actual girl when I look in the mirror. I've always done it at home and in private.

[Jilmac]

I've often stated that my belief is that passing is a state of mind. I dress in age appropriate clothes which allow me to blend in. Most of the time I'm treated like all the rest of the women wherever I go. The event or situation have much to do with passing as well. I can be ladylike when I have to be but I can get just as rowdy as the GGs in a bar setting. If my male side isn't seen through my female side, then I've passed.

[cdmcconnell84]

I'm still holding out hope that I might pass, at least more often than not, even in very direct social situations... I guess we'll see how it goes.
For now, I'm pretty sure that I at least "blend" and I'm maybe on the cusp of being at least passable enough that even when people start to suspect that they're talking with someone who wasn't born female, they're at least just noooot quite sure.
I'm not ready for sustained HRT (I've taken irregular supplements that I really do feel had some kind of effect), but perhaps within a couple of years (I'm 30, I know the clock is ticking), I'll go for it, and I'm crossing my fingers that that'll get me the results I want if I decide I'm that serious about it... :)

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi, Erica. I don't know that I'll ever go out, much less pass, so for me it is the pleasure I derive from looking like woman from the waist down, and experiencing the joy of shaved legs, sheer hose, and beautiful heels. Maybe one day it will go beyond that, but for now I am content. I get the sense you want much more.

[AmyGaleRT]

I generally dress as appropriate for where I'm going; having not mastered the look of "pants" while en femme, I will pick an appropriate dress or skirt/top combination. My intent is to "pass" or "blend," but a 6'2" lady in size 26 is probably going to stand out one way or another. So I just look like the best lady I can, appropriate to the circumstances. It helps that I have a decent femme voice to accompany my appearance (it still gets compliments!).

- Amy

[Allesandra Rhodes]

Good question. I prefer to look like a real girl/woman. I refuse to buy clothes made for CDers, the authenticity would be lost there. I wear real women's clothes and shoes and try to look like I really should as an everyday female. I'm comfortable blending and not sticking out like a sore thumb.

[Vanessa5]

I would say that I try to blend. That being said however I do prefer to dress more professionally than a GG would when she goes out. I go to my thrift store in a skirt and heels whereas most would go in jeans or sweatpants. Just doesn't seem right to not dress the way that you want to look.

[BWOemerger]

I have been giving this a lot of thought the last few days. For me I want to pass and be looked at and treated like a lady. Now being 6' 4" it really is very unlikely that I can ever succeed at this chore but I will keep trying and getting better. Right now I want to look nice. If that means nice slacks and a blouse with flats that is what I will to to pass. While I don't pass as far as I know I at least want to look good. I have been wearing some flair leg slacks and a blouse the last couple of days and it really looks nice and blendable (not sure if that is a word but it works to here ;) ) Good topic to ponder on and really look at ourselves.

[Lvjim]

Dress to be myself
More girl clothes than mens maybe half and half

[Jilly75]

I would like to pass but I think it will be a while yet. I need more outfits and need to perfect my make up. I don't know if I will ever pass though. So just looking good in my own eyes may have to do. We will see.

[Marcelle]

I have only been going out now and then for periods of time and I aim to blend so I tend to dress age appropriate and stick to fashionable clothes that will not draw too much attention. I normally find jeans, nice top, boots a coat (colder up here now) do the trick.

Never thought I would hear myself say this. When I was growing up my height and body frame was always a big issue for me as a guy but now as a girl it is a blessing. I stand 5'6" and weigh 155 lbs with an athletic and lean frame. So when en femme, from a distance I am an average height for a woman so blending is easier. Up close not so much. While I do have some feminine facial features (higher cheek bones) most of my face is all "guy" and I get read easily. So "pass" not in a million years.

So I am beginning to accept the fact that people will see a girl at first (from a distance) process and see "dude in a dress". As such, I can live with that and accept it. Heck . . . if I am going to be a dude in a dress, at least I will be a fashionable dude in a dress. The one thing I have found that the less I worry about it an just interact with the world around me as Isha not me trying to hide Isha, most people just walk on by. When I first started going out, I kept my head down and eyes lowered so as not to make eye contact. Now I strive to keep my head up and notice the reaction of others. I get read on close scrutiny or when I interact but the most pleasant thing I noticed the other day that some people don't even look my way or stare because they are too busy with their own lives. It makes sense, before I accepted this part of me I did not go out searching for CDers . If I saw long hair, skirt, etc out of the corner of my eye I normally processed "girl" and moved on. The only thing that might have turned my attention for a closer look was if the girl was very attractive (what can I say . . . I'm a guy afterall :)).

Hugs

Isha

[Jillian Faith]

Erica, I like to think that I dress appropriately, fashionably, and how I like. All three at the same time. This is blending to me. As Allie wrote, I don't want to disappear, but I don't want a spotlight either. If I wasn't happy with what I put on, I wouldn't wear it.

I'm with Jennifer I dress to blend but on the upscale side and always appropriate for the venue. By upscale I mean no pajama bottoms and baggy sweatshirts. I always coordinate my outfit, make-up and jewelry for the situation and the venue, by making this effort to blend i believe my chances of passing increase.

[Rebecca W.]

I dress to be myself. Why dress to please others? What makes me happy is how I look, regardless of where I go or what I do. That is called being a free spirit. ;):)

I agree with Kate, dress the way that you want to look. Be happy and be yourself. I am sure that we all want to "blend in". What I want to do is to go out as myself, dressed in a nice blouse and a skirt without the guilt or the worry of being "accepted" or a blender. I have only ventured out with very feminine jeans and pantyhose. Not very feminine, a nice blouse and a skirt would be more to my liking. Someday........

Erica,
You look very pretty in your pictures. Wear that nice dress out shopping and enjoy yourself!

Best Wishes,

Rebecca:)

[Megan72]

Dressing when going out is two steps for me. What is the occasion and how do I feel. Things like shopping are usually casual and easy to get in and out of since trying on cloths can be an ordeal if overly dressed. Heading to cocktail party well much more dressy and done up.

[chrissy111]

I dress to blend, I'm very tall so I need to dress for the occasion.

[KristyPa]

I used to go out to so-called gay bars once a week for a few years. The first time I went out I was way overdressed, I wore a dress. The next time I wore a skirt even though I was the only girl wearing a skirt. I try to blend but wear what I feel I like to wear.
I'm 5'9" tall. When first going out I thought since I'm so tall I only wore like 2 1/2" heels. One night while out sitting at a bar I was talking to this girl. She commented she liked my outfit. I asked what I could do to look better, she said higher heels. I now wear like 3 1/2" heel's and enjoy wearing nice jeans.