Why do we care what people think?

[Erica Marie]

Title pretty much says it.

Why do we care? Or is it just me?

[bimini1]

Loss of respect.

[Rachael Leigh]

I do understand what you mean but I do think there is always that part of me that wants to feel like Im accepted and it goes back to being rejected many times in life. Yeah I know rejection is a part of life but it's still nice to know your wanted.

[alwayshave]

Everyone worries about what other people think. Even if your out and don't care that other people know, you probably want others to think you present well, can pass, etc... The question is to what degree do care what other people think?

For me I worry about what my children would think, my parents who are in their 80s, my job - what my clients would think. The degree I worry about what each would think is different. Even my SO who I have been out to for 7 years, I worry about what she thinks.

Jim

[AllieSF]

Because sometimes it really does matter and it is in our best interests to consider what they are thinking, even if it is the truth!

[kimdl93]

We are social animals, first of all. We liv our lives interacting with other people and naturally we want others to think well of us. What we forget sometimes is that we are NOT unique. Almost every human being knows or at least believes things about themselves that they are afraid of sharing with others out of the same basic fear of disapproval and rejection.

We can overcome these fears by opening up to those who matter in our lives, and conducting ourselves with self respect and dignity around those who are peripheral to our lives.

[Cheryl T]

We are social animals and always look for the approval of others and hate to be ostracized.

[Rachelakld]

I care because some people have power over me as I rely on a steady income.
I care because my family are surrounded by people who will go the extra mile to cause trouble

[julia marie]

I'm with Lee on the "accepted" angle. True, there's always the fear that someone will flip out and scream "Man in a dress". Yet, it's great when someone who probably (should) know that you're a guy in girl clothes actually engages you in conversation just because you're both human. That's when I feel accepted.

[Stephanie47]

Sometimes the many positive attributes a person has is negated by the perception of one negative attribute. What a person may think about me can slop over onto members of my family.

[Mssusan]

Is caring what people think the exclusive domain of cross dressers? Join the club, girlie....the club whose members include people along all parts of the gender spectrum, and lots of people from about elementary school on up.

I cared when I was 50 pounds overweight and now I care only in certain situations. I have to keep telling my teenage son it's ok to dance in the car, because no one is looking and we should have fun. My mom who is 75 cared when she had surgery with visible scars...until she got bored sitting in the house.

People care because that's how we are programmed, but we don't have to act on it.

[Kate Simmons]

At this point there is not much more that anyone can do to me, so I could care less. I have a pension and receive S/S and am pretty independent and don't have anything to prove to anyone else. Even when I was working and receiving a paycheck I was pretty much my own person, within reason of course.Whatever I do or don't do is always my own choice. That works for me Hon. :)

[RenneB]

After a few walks through wallyworld, I'd say that most people (GGs and GMs) really don't care what other people think. They wear what they want when they want. Just yesterday, I was at the local market and there was a 30 something GG with a pair of spongebob squarepants pajama bottoms and a t shirt. I thought she was alone and just picking up a few things, but nope a little while later she was with her three kids (all under 12). The thing of it is is that the kids were dressed 'normal' with school type jeans and nice looking shirts. Not sure the whole story there, but ... really pajama bottoms????

I dress so that I look good in either mode... CD/Drab.. That being said, I dress to blend as best as I can and not "hey look at me". If more people cared the way they dressed, the stores would be empty of clothes.... I fear.

I have got to get to a better dressed town.....

Renne.....

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Erica Marie, It's called , Go along to get along.

[jessica2009]

I agree with pretty much everyone here, people judge others and lack or respect. Fear is also another. unknown or just out of the norm.

[teri222]

Kate, I feel the same way. After I retired in 2010 I relocated to SC. Now I dress almost 24/7. I love to get up in the
morning, put on a little make-up, a nice blouse and shorts, a nice pair of sandals or thong flip plops and go where ever
I feel like going. Once in a while I get a second look but for the most part no one seems to pay any attention.

[Jilmac]

The way I see it is whatever others think or say is their problem and not mine.

[Beverley Sims]

I think we all have a little pride in ourselves and wish to convey to others that we are not complete prats.

[CindySTJ]

I have seen GG's and guys dressed like idiots in there own gender clothing. I actually am attempting to dress up and dress like a I would like to see more woman dress like. Pajama bottoms, flip flops and pants pulled down and being at a nice gathering or restaurant is just not having fashion sense.That shows they only know how to dress by doing what your friends are doing. I love it when I see a lady dressed in an outfit that actually looks good from top to bottom but is getting rare.

[Chickhe]

It is just you... not really, but I feel a lot better since I decided not to care what most people think. But, the why, is because you don't want to be impacted by someone else's ignorance.

[Lynn Marie]

I like to think it's about being gracious and considerate of those I share the planet with. On the other hand, I will not be enslaved to anyone.

[Michelle789]

It's sad, but true, that people generally tend to compromise parts of themselves in order to fit in. This true amongst men, women, cis-gendered, trans-gendered, and third and fourth genders.

Why? Fear. Everyone's afraid of being judged and outcasted because they're different, and our fears of being ostracized come from the reality that people do sometimes outcast you for being different. Sometimes it's out of necessity for earning money too. Sure, how you dress in high school has no bearing on how much money you'll make later on in life, but the desire to fit in is there whether or not it's driven by making money.

* How many people work jobs they hate just to pay the bills or support their families?

* How many people wear crappy work uniforms just so they can have a job?

* How many people dress like slobs (sorry, but lots of people do) just because their friends are doing it, and are afraid of having no friends because they're the only one that dresses nice?

* How many people buy a smartphone they don't like, or some other piece of junk they don't like, because everyone else has it? How many iPhone owners deep down inside would rather have Androids, but buy the iPhone because everyone else has an iPhone? How many Android owners deep down inside would rather have an iPhone because all their friends had Androids? (I'm not endorsing or bashing either one, I'm just making a point here about compromising ourselves)

* How many people drive a BMW they can't afford just so they can fit in with their 6-figure salary co-workers?

* How many people own houses that require you 2-3 hour one way commutes to your job, just so you can own a house?

* How many people act like a different persona (other than gender related) than the one they really are, just so they can keep a job or survive a marriage or fit within their family?

It's sad but people do things they don't like or hide parts of themselves for fitting in, as well as to make money.

Yes, I do think people of both genders dress like slobs and it's only getting worse. If you wish to dress nicely, go for it. I'm personally for dressing nice and classy.

[Ressie]

Why do we care? Or is it just me?

It's not just you, but it isn't everyone either.

Generally: Absolutely not caring at all what other people think of you would indicate a personality disorder of some kind. OTOH, caring too much of what others think would indicate paranoia. There has to be a balance to be sane.

Specifically: To present yourself as female full time for everyone would be idealistic for most of us. The risk of losing friends, jobs, spouse etc. is worth it to some, but with no job there's no money to buy more clothes!

Summary: Social acceptance is in Maslow's hierarchy of human needs.

[Dianne S]

Fear. Everyone's afraid of being judged and outcasted because they're different

This is true, especially for younger people. As I've grown older, I've come to care less and less about what other people (especially strangers) think of me. I've grown my hair long. I don't dress conservatively even in male mode. Life's too short to worry about that.

However, I'm lucky enough to live in a large city in a fairly liberal country (Canada). If I lived in a small town in a conservative area, I might not be so carefree. Humans are social animals and we do need some level of acceptance from our peers to survive. If you live in an area where you cannot be yourself, maybe it's time to consider moving.