Perceptions of cross dressing

[Phillipa]

Perhaps I should continue with some questions. Cross dressing is something we are born to do. It's not an illness, we are who we are. Take it away and you are no longer the same person, it's part of your make up. So why is it still considered wrong? We are not sex offenders or murderers. We are just trying to enjoy ourselves using an Alta Ego. Why Oh why is it so wrong? After all they are only clothes. Women wear jeans, shirts, suits, even ties. How come that's ok and acceptable, and yet a man in a dress and high heels is not?

Phillipa XX

[PretzelGirl]

We are entering a time where we can take away the blanket statements. If everyone thought it was wrong, we wouldn't be getting laws protecting us. So obviously in some areas, the majority don't believe it is wrong. There is still a long way to go and there are people that definitely believe it is wrong. But the numbers are strong that young people are okay with it, which bodes well for our younger members.

[Scarlet Ibis]

Phillipa,
It is interesting to think about how in nature the male of a species--peacocks, for instance--is much more glorious looking than the female. During the European Restoration period, it was fashionable and appropriate for prosperous males even more than females to be dressed in sumptuous fabrics and vibrant colors, with silken stockings, high heels, makeup, and wigs. There are probably some sociologists/historians and other experts involved in this forum who could add some insight regarding why societal norms shake down as these do. I am not sure--but I think it became acceptable even expected for females to wear the "menswear" you mention as a function of their presence in the workplace. Clothing and roles--so fiercely intertwined. Best wishes to you.

[Karren H]

Its only wrong if you didn't loose a bet!

[Beverley Sims]

Forget about what women can wear and get away with it think of all the things we can wear.
Like Karen says, if we lose the bet.
I lose it all the time.
The bet that is. :)

[Jenniferathome]

Phillipa, It is not just clothes. There is an emotional element to it. For me, when I dress it is all the way, wig,forms,makeup, etc. That is well more than clothes. For some it is a fetish,which is more than clothes. So, why is it wrong? It's weird! Be objective. It makes no sense. Anything weird and not making sense is "wrong" to the normals. Ironically,this "doesn't make sense" idea proves to me that we ARE born to it.

Don't waste your time wanting it to be normal or accepted. It won't be "normal" but you can be accepted none the less

[Phillipa]

Thank you for all your interesting reply's. I think as Jennifer say's it's more than just clothes. It's the whole concept of cross dressing. When I dress I feel content and relaxed, perhaps even complete, if that makes sense. As to being NORMAL, that went out the window years ago.

Phillipa XX

[Lorileah]

First, welcome to the forum. Second, be careful when you post things that may be read as dissing the GGs..it isn't allowed. Third, women don't dress to LOOK like men. They dress for comfort or utility. If you wearing a dress actually made you more efficient at your job, then it would be more like what women do. Also, you do understand that if you live in a western society, wearing a dress isn't illegal, so you do have the "right" to wear women's clothing when you want to. You just have to be willing to take what the narrow minded people around you will throw.

[kimdl93]

That why question again. As Sue said, CDing is clearly not illegal and increasing we enjoy legal protections. Some people hold religious views or antiquated ideas on gender roles. Unfortunate, but some people also believe that the earth is flat and that the moon landings were fake.

If you let the opinions of disapproving individuals given your life, then you would find that you couldn't have a drink, smoke, have sex outside of marriage, play cards, dance, or work outside the home (if you are female). Needless to say, most of us do many things that we know some others may disapprove of.

[Dani0948]

I don't remember ever being told specifically that cding was wrong. Somehow I just knew to keep the secret to myself. As good as it feels to dress, it just never fealt right to tell others. They must think we have a contagious disease. I'll paraphrase Shakespear - I think they protest too much.

[ReineD]

I'll echo the others in saying there is nothing wrong with CDing, and it is becoming increasingly doable to dress in public ... say as compared to 50 years ago when it was thought to have been an aberration, a sickness, or morally wrong.

Still, there is something about the appearance that a person is crossing the gender lines that is difficult for most people to understand. I've often wondered if their reluctance might not be hard wired, in the same way that it is hard wired in us for the survival of our species, to find mates, procreate, and care for our young. It just seems as if crossing the gender lines directly opposes this (as do many other behaviors that seemingly go against the procreation-minded norms such as fetishes), since many people do equate the crossdressing with either homosexuality or fetish. Hence people's reluctance to embrace it.

A note on equating the crossdressing with homosexuality: we all know in this community that most crossdressers are hetero. Yet, the "boys who like other boys when dressed" threads consistently get the most hits, the most responses, and further, more than half the responses are positive. So it's no wonder that many people equate the crossdressing with homosexuality.

We need to educate the public to let them know that most CDers are happily married men who are also fathers.

... and we also need to figure out why so many CDers fantasize about being with men when they're dressed. :p

[kimdl93]

I kinda wonder about that boys with boys thing. Here's my guess. So many of us assumed I'm CD therefore I'm gay. Then there's the I want to be treated like a girl fantasy...neither really related fundamentally to gender identity, but we are creatures,of the culture we live in. Other societies are not so rigid in gender and sexual roles.

[Jenniferathome]

... and we also need to figure out why so many CDers fantasize about being with men when they're dressed. :p

It's a vocal minority thing. While the responses may be close to 50% positive, the total number of responses is still low as compared to the thousands of posts per day. I have given up "pissing into the wind" on this when these posts inevitably arise. I'm willing to bet that the lack of attack on the subject by the straight cross dressers is just due to the futility of the effort.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Phillipa, I think that non Crossdressers are scared of what they don't understand.

[Dianne S]

So why is it still considered wrong?

Who, exactly, considers crossdressing "wrong"? I find that people's reactions to it range among finding it: Puzzling, weird, funny, pathetic, interesting, a non-issue. I don't know many who consider it actually "wrong" in the sense that harming someone else would be considered "wrong".

Crossdressing is not only about the clothes. It's also about gender identity and since for a long time women have had a lower status than men, the establishment finds it "wrong" that a man would "lower" himself to the level of a woman. All the negativity about crossdressing comes from patriarchal attitudes and religion, both of which thankfully are waning in the Western world.

[Phydelia]

Crossdressing is not only about the clothes. It's also about gender identity and since for a long time women have had a lower status than men, the establishment finds it "wrong" that a man would "lower" himself to the level of a woman. All the negativity about crossdressing comes from patriarchal attitudes and religion, both of which thankfully are waning in the Western world.

That's interesting. i have a very different perspective on it... In my mind, what people see as "wrong" is the attempt by a male to intrude upon that which is exclusively feminine in our culture- an appearance that is sexy, desirable, alluring. That shock of seeing someone that, at a distance, appears to have an attractive feminine form; only to discover on closer examination that it's just a man, evokes a sort of rage in people. There's a sense of deceit, of aspiring towards that to which you have no claim. Why should people get upset if you want to move yourself down a notch? That only elevates them in comparison. It's aspirational tendencies that threaten.

[Pinky188]

Try not to worry so much what society thinks or says. Bottom line! Be who you are and thats that! Hold your head up and be proud of yoursself! Always! After all, your living your life for you, right? Be yourself. Be happy about it!

[Dianne S]

In my mind, what people see as "wrong" is the attempt by a male to intrude upon that which is exclusively feminine in our culture- an appearance that is sexy, desirable, alluring. That shock of seeing someone that, at a distance, appears to have an attractive feminine form; only to discover on closer examination that it's just a man, evokes a sort of rage in people.

Yes. I think that rage comes from a fear that one might be attracted to a man which would "de-masculinize" the person seeing the crossdresser.


There's a sense of deceit, of aspiring towards that to which you have no claim. Why should people get upset if you want to move yourself down a notch? That only elevates them in comparison. It's aspirational tendencies that threaten.

Maybe, but I don't think so. I think men feel threatened when other men "lower" themselves to the status of women because it threatens their perception that masculinity is superior to femininity.

Anyway, this is all just interesting pop psychology. :) I don't think anyone really has a definitive answer, but it is fun to speculate.