Are you attracted to the same women you want to be?

[Phydelia]

This question is for the autogynephiliacs, crossdreamers, "male lesbians', and others who are attracted to women, but also wish/fantasize about being one. i thought it might offend the TS ladies, so i put it here even though i know it won't apply to everyone.

Is the "type" of woman that you're most attracted to also the type that you feel most jealous of/imagine yourself being?

The reason i ask is that i thought it would seem intuitive for the two women to be the same- why wouldn't you want to be the type of woman you're most attracted to? It would make sense that if you're internalizing/projecting your desires (depending on how you look at it), the desires would be the same in both cases.

However, in my case, at least, it's not. The woman i want to be, that i'm jealous of, is extremely petite; 5'0", 90#. Blonde or pastel-dyed hair. Fresh-faced. In her early 20's. Dressed very "girly".

The women that i'm most attracted to are softer, heavier, taller, older; even their hair is a different color- black, red, or dyed to a jewel tone. They're made up and dressed Gothic. In short, they wouldn't even seem to occupy the same circles as the girl i long to be.

i'm just wondering if this disconnect is shared with any of my "sisters", or if i'm simply an oddity among an already rare subculture.

Does your "dream girl" match your "dream self"?

[Allesandra Rhodes]

No. I have a very clear picture of who I am as a woman and whom I'm attracted to. Honestly I'm a real bitch, yet I'm attracted to the complete opposite. If that makes sense.

:)

[Steph_CD_62]

I would say that my "dream girl" does NOT match my "dream self".

When I see myself dressed up, I see a typical female of average weight for my age that enjoys the feeling of different fabrics against my body. I love the look and feel of nice lingerie. I stand at 6'

My dream girl is my wife. She only stands 5'4" and is a little over weight. She prefers wearing jeans/sweats and a t-shirt. I can not remember the last time she wore any type of lingerie. She likes to wear her cotton panties & bra.

[Pinky188]

No. I am in a very serious relationship with a girl that is, in most ways, very different than me. We share the same tast in music but fashion, not so much.

[Audrey_FR]

No. I didn't picture myself like the women I'm attracted to. With a little exception, I see my wife as the most beautiful person around. I observe what she wears and how she wears it but I fully know that´s won't look the same on me.

[Beverley Sims]

I thought Sabrina and Dolly Parton once.
Stayed at Twiggys B&B in Penzance, but when I think back I would never have made the cut.
I did present well with what I have and it was better than all three mentioned beforehand.

[Rachelakld]

While I would be attracted to a female who looks a bit like me, I'm also attracted to lots of females, especially ones that smile a lot

[Stephanie47]

Funny I thought I would find a tall long legged blond woman with blue eyes. I was in my young years a tall (6'2") blond with long legs and green eyes. So, who do I marry? A short (5'2") brunette. Well, she does have blue eyes! Now, I'm a well dressed (always dresses), tastefully dressed, grey haired woman.

[EnglishBeth]

Have to say that I think that a lot of women will have features I would like to have, but doesn't follow that I'm attracted to them. By the same token, I wouldn't say that I'm attracted to any one type, although I do like a nice smile.

[Amanda M]

For me, no. My female persona is quite different to my ideal woman, who is, in fact, my wife!

[Vickie_CDTV]

For the most part yes, I certainly dress like the women I am most attracted to. I like women who are taller and older than I am, so obviously I can't look exactly like the women I am most attracted to. I certainly try to emulate women I find attractive though.

[Kate Simmons]

First of all I'm not jealous of anyone and that does not influence the type of women I'm attracted to. I love intelligent women who are stimulating conversationalists but who are also romantic. Each is their own unique individual self and that what makes them special to me. I can do no less in my own projection of femininity.:)

[Lisa Gerrie]

When I was young, I wanted to emulate the physical appearance of the girls and young women that I was attracted to, sexually and socially. That was "female" to me.

The older I got, the less that was true. At 57 I find myself driven to emulate myself, if I'd been born a girl. I look a lot like my mother, kinda plain, and I am happiest and most content when dressed in everyday clothing that fits my (padded) body comfortably.

[NicoleScott]

If "attracted to" means physically or sexually attracted to, yes. I am physically (or maybe I mean superficially) attracted to pretty and shapely women who wear short skirts and high heels, heavy but perfectly applied makeup with bold eyes and lips and long painted nails. I'll never have the feminine pretty face and great shape of a female, but my goal in transforming is way over-the-top.
But if "attracted to" means choosing a woman to be a partner in all of life, no, I want someone who is more like I am in guy mode: laid-back, responsible, and conservative.
I guess I'm attracted to an angel outside the bedroom but who becomes a painted lady inside.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Spinning off the old Marine Corps commercial, I dress as the woman who I can be.

I am attracted to most women. My perfect woman, if there is such a thing for me, is like my wife. Rather petite, older, smart and long hair....very long.

Trying to be a person on a spiritual path, I would like to think that I'm not jealous of anyone. That falls into greed and things I'm not prone to. Trying to be a person in a program, I recognize that I have resentments against some men, especially alpha males. That's fear, competition or anger based.

:hugs: robbin

[Marcelle]

I can't really say I am trying to be any particular type of woman. I am just trying to present as female as I can possibly be. As such, I don't have a type in mind when I dress. I play to my strengths (which aren't many) and suit my hair and style to my face, colour and frame.

So if I was attracted to the type of woman I am . . . God help me :eek:

Hugs

Isha

[Amy Lynn3]

Nope, can't say I would want to be the women I am attracted to. I would say...if I could take parts of all the different women and make my ideal woman I would be attracted to her.

[Allison Quinn]

Nope o3o
The way my girlfriend dresses and acts is a complete 180 to the way I dress and our personalities are quite different :P
I couldn't date anybody who is just like me that would make things get too boring too quickly xD

Plus with different styles we can both give each other honest opinions on when some clothes or colors just look silly with each other as we have no bias toward the outfit :P

[Donna St. Marten]

I think so. I try very hard to wear age appropriate outfits and present a classy appearance.

[Cynthia Anne]

I would say yes! 'Cause I am attracted to beautiful women!!!:)

[Jenniferathome]

When I present as female, it is in the style that I would find attractive in a woman.

[Alice Torn]

Yes. like Vickie. I dress as the older tall, leggy lady, with a bit of silver or gray hair, but i am attracted to small petite ladies, and all sizes, too, but at six foot six, i dress as the tall dream lady i have seen, but , as a lifetime bachelor, could never get close to. So, i am that lady in the mirror, or photos.

[sabrinayeah]

I guess so.. I try to replicate the physical qualities of other women i find attractive.. hair.. make up.. outfits. to bad i can't date my self! ha ha ha.. i had an old girlfriend once yell at me after a wig purchase "YOU BOUGHT HAIR LIKE MINE!" I couldn't tell if she was flattered or angry. but since then I've let my hair grown long.. as for some of my 'girl' friends, yes I would love to be them because they are amazing people with open minds and awesome personalities beyond just their appearance

[Karren H]

My wife the jeans lover..... I think that i try to be everything she isn't.... so apparently not....

[julia marie]

I can see why some respondents here present very differently from their wives/SOs. There's something to be said for taking a different path. For me, I find that the styles that I like also show up on women that I find attractive (some mix of business and casual. So, now that it's fall in the north, sweaters, jeans/casual skirt and boots work. Summer, light skirts and bright tops. But, all sort of girl next store stuff.) Women in those combinations will turn my head, AND make me want to shop. In terms of physical appearance, I'll never be 5'2" and 95 pounds, so I can't model myself after those ladies anyway.

[gautier_nikolai]

Interesting question.I've really been thinking about this lately regarding why i have been bingeing on buying clothes for my drab and femme self.

Since i'm gay and single obviously it doesn't explain why i CD; but regarding the amount i've been spending on my drab self lately on cute preppy and smart casual stuff and lots of sport jackets i think i am trying to create the type of guy i would like to be with dress-wise.That sounds really narcisistic i know, but it's just how i fantasise a guy i am attracted to would dress projecting the confidence i don't have at the same time as a casual air.

However, he would also been a hunk and actually confident with a charming air unlike me unfortunately.

En femme i try to dress smart as well because that's how i feel most confident when out a few times.I feel if i project a professional image it confers to me some of the confidence i'm lacking en drab and en femme.However, i wish i could gain the confidence to mix it up a bit sometimes!

[Jaymees22]

Sometimes I try to create my dream girl. Sometimes I almost succeed, it's hard as my tool kit mostly has the wrong parts.

In real life I'm attracted to attractive women who probably wouldn't give me a second look. In the fantasy cyber world I like the gothic look and if I ran into one of these gothic girls I fantasize about in real life I would probably run the other way. So I'll keep dreaming It's safer!!!Jaymee

[Chickhe]

Not exactly...but, if I see a woman wearing something really attractive I'll imagine how I could pull off the same thing... usually the bubble pops, but sometimes you pick up something good to try out.

[terri7]

was thinking about that the other day:

am i becoming
my own girl friend...

[franlee]

I am attracted to the appearance and clothes of many women and I try to emulate that look. My wife is my priority, I enjoy dressing in similar or duplicate outfits of her in my size. But I only want to be "her," my wife and then for a limited time, as I am happy with being me and my life.

[michelle-]

Not in my case. But then again, I still don't have a defined style when I dress. I'm still in that fase where you try anything you can.

[ReineD]

Aside from the CDers who were married before their feminine selves were developed, and who love their wives as they are, and of course this wouldn't apply to everyone else …

… my SO who was single for many years before he met me, once told me that his ideal partner was a strong woman (tall and not overly girly) but with a softer side. Many of my SO's past partners where older than her. Yet my SO loves to present in an ultra feminine manner and seems to love it when I am taller than him (when I wear tall heels). :) Height aside, I've also noticed that many of the members here seem to be married to women who do not prioritize being particularly girly yet who of course have a softer side because they are obviously women. If given a choice, I've always taken it that such a woman would be the perfect foil for a CDer to feel more feminine next to, compared to a SO who is very girly and petite.

I know that in the past when I've bought ultra girly things, like a pair of ankle boots with a leather bow at the back, or when I wore the color pink, my SO has said to me, "But this isn't you!" I've always wondered if my SO preferred it when I wasn't quite so feminine, even though she aspires this for herself. :p

[MissTee]

Honestly, I have not given it much thought. I have to say no, though. My wife is my ideal woman, and Misty is just Misty and she is very different from my wife.

[AmandaM]

Well, I am obsessed with hot women, and wish I was a hot woman, so yes.

[Pandys]

I never was, but they seem to be becoming closer, as I start to figure out who I am now. If that makes any sense.

[CarlaWestin]

That was the original thought that started all this. Early teen fantasies of voluptuous women lead to, "I'll just become the woman of my dreams!" Of course the early sixties were heavily influenced by Playboy and other media to fuel that image. As I got older I began to apprciate the toned down, passable presentation. But most of the time I really enjoy doing sexy!

[KatieLindsay]

Yes, 100% but also attracted to females I wouldn't want to be.

[ArleneRaquel]

Nearly 40 years ago my female name was Maureen(for O'Hara) Fleming(For Rhonda), now it's Arlene(Dahl & Francis) Raquel(Welch). Do I try to look like them ? Sometimes, but I sure do love their looks. I do find females that look like the ladies that I have mentioned very attractive. But I haven't dated a GG in about 7 years.

[Violet-13]

Yup :daydreaming:

[Penny2325]

Yup! Dorky and nerdy all the way!

[Cindia]

Well, I am obsessed with hot women, and wish I was a hot woman, so yes.

Same here. At home or the rare chance I get to go to a club, I dress in things I like to see GG's wear. Not like stripper or hooker clothes, but shorter skirts, etc. I will dress more age appropriate if I'm wanting to go out and blend (say shopping).

[Tina_gm]

I would say yes basically to this. The more feminine a woman is, the more I feel a basic attraction to them. And by that I am not meaning a purely sexual one, but a basic attraction, or perhaps I should say I find femininity attractive on all levels. I would say that my wife is typically feminine for a woman. She dresses typically feminine. I can't say that I have much of a true style since I am only a partial dresser (no wig or make up) but I do very much like the ultra feminine look and feel, which I find attractive. BTW, my version of ultra feminine is not necessarily ultra sexy or seductive. I would say the way a hooker typically dresses is more skanky than ultra feminine.

[Jessica1983]

no my wife and i have very different tastes i like super high heels and sexy underwere she dosent she more practical

[Laura912]

Yes, when viewed from the Space Station.

[Gigi]

thanks for asking.. i have always wondered this.

[Lisa Diane]

All the way, I like a classy well dressed very fem woman and that is how I try and present myself.
Lisa

[suchacutie]

Great Question! Tina is definitely not my ideal woman...too tall...shoulders too wide...well, you all know the drill.

However, I surely work to have Tina attractive, so I'm clearly giving her attributes, as best as I can, that I think make her attractive. So even though she can't pass muster as my ideal woman, I do give her as many of those traits as I can.

[sometimes_miss]

Yes. Yes, I am.

[Lori Kurtz]

Yes. To the max. Slim in the waist, very buxom, curvy in the hips, with shapely legs. And she loves to show it all off. She's sexually assertive--not in the sub/dom sense, just a girl who loves sex, and who loves the pleasure that her body gives to men, even if it's only the pleasure of seeing her. And she wears the kind of clothes that maximize that pleasure: high heels, short tight skirts, and tops that hug her body so lovingly that they reveal more than they hide about her shape. Oh yes, to have that kind of girl ... to be that kind of girl ... yes, yes, yes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Phydelia,, I dress to suit my self if I see a well dressed lady I make a
mental note and try to copy the look the next time that I dress.

[BobbiHall]

Yes. I very much am attracted to woman I want to look like. I want to be their wife. I am so into being a girl I can't stand it. I not new to crossdressing but I'm just doing it a whole lot more recently. Looking to connect with other CDs in NYC.

Bobbi

[BobbiHall]

Dana -

Keep trying sweetie it's worth it. Being a woman is the best. All the time is my dream.

Bobbi

[trista.flowers]

there's a lot of people kind of talking past each other in this thread because there are a lot of different kinds of attraction. i'm attracted to all kinds of ggs when in 'boy mode', and the gg who's my current partner represents just one (precious) example --- of a type of gg that attracts me (insofar as she represents a type at all) and of a kind of attraction.

then there's the kind of attraction that's all about sex, about appealing to one's particular turn-ons, even fetishes. the archetypes of that kind of woman for me in boy mode are generally drawn from the 80s and 90s, slightly gothy rocker babes with dark eyes surrounded by thick but sharp lines of kohl, wearing an item or two of clothing (or more) that suggest a fetish night at a club. and for me in boy mode, the reaction to this kind of woman is so intense it turns into a kind of repulsion. trust me, i spent years chasing and dating and even living with them, and while they can be almost painfully hot to me .... well, you can guess the rest. so this is what's behind the trista look. i'm trying to be the ideal version of that girl from an aesthetic perspective, and i'm a bit of a bitch because .... well, i have to incorporate the repulsion into the attraction somehow!

bottom line is it's sexual attraction -- -fascination --- that defines my look.