Anyone Tried Something Other Than "Talk Therapy" for CD??

[Calbab]

I mean, this is something which most of us love to do, no matter how often (or seldomly) we get to do it... But I've been seeing a therapist for nearly eight months and my urge to dress is surging back -- after a summer-long hiatus...

So, I'm beginning to think that my desires could be attributed to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and I'm considering seeking help 'at a higher level', or a psychiatrist as well as a psychotherapist.. I've done a lot of research, and I assume that there is NO MEDICATION which can keep someone from wanting to CD... So, perhaps I'm just trying to placate my SO and family (my mother and uncle are the only two other people who know), but I just feel I need to explore this avenue.. Thoughts?

[Laura912]

Have observed during 40 years in medicine, that people want a diagnosis to go with a sign or symptom, no matter if it can be treated. Having some label on whatever they are experiencing just seems to help. You are a crossdresser. I am a crossdresser. That is neither a sign nor symptom of something else. It just is. Your answer is in your own post at the end just before you ask for thoughts. Placating seldom leads to a conclusion. Conversation accompanied by good introspection can. Best of luck.

[Amy R Lynn]

I agree with Laura. You are who you are. Nothing will ever change that. Being a CD, is who we are.

I think you really just need to focus on who you are here. There are many different types of cross dressers. Some only need to under dress every once in a while. Others need to go all out and pass as a woman every once in a while. You need to find what you are comfortable with. There is only one wrong answer.... that you can be cured of cross dressing. Its not a disease or mental illness. I like to attribute it to just something that you have a taste for. Much like your favorite flavor of ice cream. Its just something that we like.

[AllieSF]

The above post have stated it very well. Maybe you just need to clearly state to yourself what you really want to do, and if that is not illegal then try to figure out how to do it by being true and fair (not necessarily obedient) to your SO, and try to avoid unnecessarily hurting others as you try to discover more about this side of you. Maybe you don't need to placate them, just keep it low key until you come to grips with it. Anyway you handle it, I wish you the best.

PS: Is "talk therapy" another term for therapy to help you stop dressing?

[Calbab]

Thanks everyone for your insight! Well Allie, I think that my SO was under the impression that the 'talk therapy' might encourage me to stop dressing... But, I think you "hit the nail on the head" with that statement about 'clearly stating to myself what I want to do, and then do it without unnecessarily hurting others'.. Just last Monday, when I had an hour with my therapist, he stated: "While you seem to feel that its unfair that men cannot express themselves freely, and you feel that society needs to change their attitudes, you don't seem to me like the type of person who will stand up in front of a large crowd wearing female clothing to spread your message.. you might risk losing your marriage and your job"..

So, I believe that you are onto something when you say I must be "honest with myself, and clearly define who I am"

[AllieSF]

I don't think that I really mean that you should definitively define yourself, because after so much time on this site, that in itself can become a full time earth shattering job loaded with frustrations, guilt and all those other things. I mean that you should maybe say to yourself something like (if this is true), "I am a crossdresser (insert what you think is correct), and I will accept that for now, as I explore it and try to better define what that means to me."

I personally have accepted that I truly love to crossdress AND go out like that to interface with others. I have so much fun doing that and since I do not need to be out to others that know my male side, I am not hurting anyone not complicating my life. I have learned not to worry about it. Yes, I try to be careful, but I can pretty much be who I want to be when I want to be that person, male of female. If I can't dress and I want to, I can easily await my next opportunity because I know that it will come soon.

So, in your situation, if you want to crossdress but feel shame, deal with the shame part and hopefully learn what a lot of us have learned, it is not bad, nor is it easy to get those most important to us to potentially agree with that.

[giuseppina]

Thanks everyone for your insight! Well Allie, I think that my SO was under the impression that the 'talk therapy' might encourage me to stop dressing...

Your SO may be speaking of [-]reparative[/-] repressive therapy without knowing it. It doesn`t work, is unethical, and causes mood disorders over something (crossdressing) that does no harm, but it is generally emotional dynamite for the SO. I`ve heard at least one state (California) has outlawed the `therapy` for minors.

Your SO may benefit from joining you at a session or two with the therapist. Sometimes getting the info directly from the therapist helps resolve the issue.

Simple crossdressing is not defined as an illness, as far as I know, in the next version of the DSM, and that is the way it should be, IMO.

[Beverley Sims]

Apart from talk therapy there are other treatments that are unethical practices these days and probably did not help.
Google unethical and obsolete psychiatric treatments.
Hypnosis is practiced still but I do not know of it's success rate.

[Rachelakld]

Lucky guy.
My dad was given magic pills and 4 brain burning sessions by his therapist, only to realize that living in fear of tomorrow was badly affecting his today.
He figured that out himself and gave up 3 years of therapy, that was about 2 days before he tried to hurt the therapist for taking all his money and zapping his brain.

If I have SAD or any kind of disorder, I'll call in sick and have the day off, but I doubt it's ethical since CDing is not actually an ailment, and since I'm not ill, I don't need to pay anybody, instead I can have fun and enjoy life.

[GaleWarning]

"While you seem to feel that its unfair that men cannot express themselves freely, and you feel that society needs to change their attitudes, you don't seem to me like the type of person who will stand up in front of a large crowd wearing female clothing to spread your message.. you might risk losing your marriage and your job"..


Not all of us are evangelists, Calbab. Some of us are meant to be pastors, staying in the closet and nurturing others like ourselves who are struggling to make sense of who we are.

Find your own comfort level. Negotiate the boundaries of crossdressing your SO is prepared to accept (remembering that DADT is one of the options available!).

The others are right. The urge to CD will never go away. The best the two of you can do is to manage it successfully.

[Amanda M]

Calbab - you are not suffering from a disorder, therefore by definition, there can be no treatment. As a practicing psychotherapist myself, I will stick my neck out and say that those in my - and allied professions - who seek to "cure" homosexuals or transgendered people are potentially dangerous, in that their treatment may turn something harmless and indeed natural into something much more harmful.

You are who and what you are. You are not required to placate others, and damage yourself in the process. You have a right to be you. What perhaps might help is for you to reach accommodations with your family as to how you can all best manage to live with what is for them an issue, on the clear understanding that this is not going to go away.

I wish you the strength to stick to your guns and not give in to a future in which one of your basic desires is suppresed for the benefit of others.

Best,
Amanda

[NicoleScott]

... you don't seem to me like the type of person who will stand up in front of a large crowd wearing female clothing to spread your message...

What message? You can live happily as a CDer without living it in the public.
Talk is good, but in meetings (at work, counseling, etc.) it's a good idea to agree on an objective before getting very deep into the talk. Is your objective to quit CDing? Or is it someone else's objective, like the therapist or the SO?
I'm one of the many CDers who married believing that the desire to CD would be replaced by the desire for our bride. But it didn't work that way for me, and I found myself as CDer with a secret and a wife. When she finally found out, she wanted us to go to counseling, and we did. The problem was, she wanted me cured and I wanted her to accept. So without a common goal, the counseling eventually failed as did our marriage. What's your "talk therapy" objective?
Maybe you can stop CDing, but can the desire to CD ever stop? Is CDing an illness that needs to be cured?

[Rachael Leigh]

I'm going to have to disagree with some here and say that I will not let being a CD define me, while it is something I do it's not who I am as a person. I do think it can be something if we choose it can control us and our thoughts. Those who don't have acceptance with their SO must understand this is not for everyone. I understand it and I try to make efforts to be better than this part of something I choose. We all have God given abilities to be better to change, and if we allow for it God can change us but because of His wisdoms we still have that choice to change or not. If my SO was accepting I would be prob more into this than I am but I've chosen not to be so that I can allow her to be comfortable

[Rachelakld]

Afraid I must disagree with Lee.
You see, my skin bag was preloaded at birth by god thankfully, and I enjoy the querk, his little gift for me - sure as anything it's a lot better than what he gave a lot of others on this planet - and it's fun.

[sandra-leigh]

I tried the Stress Out And Go Half Crazy treatment. It did what it says on the box.

[kimdl93]

I have to agree with those above. Being a CDr is not a symtom and you can't treat it like a bacterial infection. This is more akin to being left handed. It's part of your makeup. You can use therapy to learn to accept yourself and to gain skills necessary to allow you to live more effectively.

[MissTee]

Nothing to treat. As my wife put it, "For heaven's sake, it's just clothes." I love that woman.