Poor people aren't allowed to transition

[Lynnmorgan451]

We do what we can to feel like ourselves but when the chips are down, they're never on our side of the table. I can afford to pluck my beard, but not laser or electrolysis...so I make due. Any kind of surgery is out of the question unless I win the lottery so it's all about concealer and shading, hiding and masking however possible, the shadows cast by my masculine facial features. The expense of hormones isn't that great but when you're poor, it's tremendously expensive to work into a budget, and is the first thing to go when you have to choose between power, water and food for your children. All in all I do what I can, dress the way I want, try to feel "normal" HA! A freak and a weirdo. But a parent and a responsible unselfish one. Anyways, just wanted to vent a little. I otherwise feel really good right now :)
Anyone wanna make a large cash infusion into my cause?? Lol. Just lemmie know!

:D

[Angela Campbell]

It is an awful thing that the insurance system refuses mostly to cover this medically necessary treatment even when properly diagnosed. The cost is staggering.

[arbon]

The people I admire most are the ones that make it work regardless

[kimdl93]

This is no magic bullet, but I do believe that it's possible to improve one's financial position with effort and creativity. Start looking for new opportunities and the chance to grow as a person.

[KellyJameson]

In some ways I envy those who were able to suppress or somehow circumvent the affects of the dysphoria long enough to build a career that places the cost of transitioning within easy reach.

For me the dysphoria always had a very destabilizing affect on my life and I struggled keeping it together enough to be able to concentrate on schooling and work plus it trashed my social relationships regardless of the nature of these relationships.

I can reflect back and see how both my education and earning capacity has been affected by the dysphoria.

You are caught in a bind where your head is not together enough to make the money you need to transition that would than put your head in a place where you can start building a life.

The only thing that worked for me was narrowing my life done to the most basic needs and dispensing with everything else.

Everything becomes and is centered around transitioning, either regarding psychological issues or physical issues.

If your dysphoria is severe your life will be placed in a "holding pattern" because of the constant mental torment and a "reactive pattern" because of the constant mental torment so you will have great difficulty not only not destroying yourself but doing anything meaningful with your life.

In my opinion if the pain is great enough you must serve the dysphoria by building your life around it until it is resolved.

I used work as a temporary escape from the dysphoria instead of drugs and alcohol.

Addiction is very attractive to escape your own mind so find positive addictions that serve your interests, moving you toward resolution of your dysphoria.

I used work and exercise because I could feel the urge to escape myself which was actually the urge to find myself because I had lost myself and recognized the dangers of how living this way could make me turn on myself.

Give your dysphoria a voice so you understand it and by doing so understand yourself. This is painful because in some ways it increases the pain of the experience because you begin to recognize the costs to your life it has extracted but at least you will lose the anxiety of being in the grip of something that is tormenting you that you do not understand.

It is the "not knowing" as understanding that I found particularly terrifying because it can leave you doubting your own sanity.

Try to find inventive ways to reduce the cost. I bartered my time with my electrolysis by painting her house inside and out and performing other maintenance tasks for her.

[thechic]

Yes its hell of hard with out much money I do agree with you a lotto win would cure everything ,that's why am doing the job I do don't like it, no holidays take as much overtime and work as I can, and still only have enough money to feed the family .any small amounts of money left over gets used for my transition and not clothing, and my only hobby is with the kids but that's life and I am happy but tired.

[Kathryn Martin]

I have several friends who made all of the money they needed by getting a long haul trucking license and living out of their trucks for two years. They made between $50 -60 k a year clear and got their work done and moved on with their lives. One of them now owns a trucking company. Another one decided to drive heavy equipment in a mine, same thing, got it done.

Get creative work and move on.

[Chickhe]

The secret to success is spending less than you make. There is nothing wrong with doing things that cost nothing and a lot of times it works better than buying something new. Learn to not feel guilty and accept yourself. If you feel good, you are in a better position to find ways to make more money.

[AllieSF]

Actually, Chickhe, I think that the secret to life is to make more than you spend, assuming that you are already minimizing the spending as much as possible. One needs to look for opportunities in work that will eventually result in a higher pay over the long run. That may also include taking special courses to improve one's ability to get a better job. I am not saying that Lynn is not doing that. However, one must depend on themselves and not other people nor the Government to help them out. Take the help when one qualifies for it, but that is just a stop gap measure to help one through an extremely tough time. A lot of sacrifice is needed to really get out of that financial rut or hole.

Lynn I feel sorry for your predicament and hope that things will improve soon for you and your family. I commend you for putting them first for now. As long as you can handle putting your true self in a type of holding pattern, good. However, when it becomes too much for you, then thinking about yourself a bit more will also help them too as your personality and outlook may change for the positive as you find ways to make it all work out for everyone, including yourself.

[Nigella]

This is where I am pleased with our universal health system. Yes it can be a crap shoot on when and if you get the funding, but the free opportunity is there. OK so its for the core treatment, but then again, as with most things in life, learn to work with what you've got.

[Megan G]

Another one decided to drive heavy equipment in a mine, same thing, got it done.


Holy crap do we know each other or something....lol


This is exactly what I am doing, I had an OK job that provided for the family but once I started HRT and started thinking clearly I realized that I was not making enough to do what I needed..

So as I type this I am 1000 miles away from my wife and son who miss me dearly, I am running an excavator in the frozen north banking good money, it will allow me to pay off debts and free up cash for some proceedures...

Trish..

[RADER]

You could try to head up to the Dakota's;
They are drilling oil up there like mad, and the oil drillers get real big money.
Rader

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I know a woman that financed her transition working for two years as an electrician in Afghanistan...I believe she made more than $400k for 2 years...she was almost killed by a bomb that killed the driver of her bus...

[Aly Cat]

I am in the same poor wagon that you are sadly. I'm going through a divorce, will soon have child support, have to rent out my home because I can't afford to keep it, I have to change jobs and go part time, but! I am going to school soon! 2 years worth of education will hopefully land me a decent job in the fashion industry and I can continue on my path to womanhood. If I'm lucky, I can maybe find a therapist who will take a broke college student TS and help her on her way of hormones and whatever else...maybe peace of mind in all this turmoil lol. But I hear ya on the poor front. I feel like my hands are tied!

[Katie Louise]

It's the same in Australia. I'm divorced and a bankrupt, but there is no Medicare assistance here as the federally funded health system sees it as elective and plastic surgery. Aussies, there is a petition at http://www.change.org/en-AU/petitions/medicare-australian-government-please-help-fund-sex-reassignment-surgery

[Loni]

not that many years back i had a good $100K + in the bank as savings.
owned a small ranch, (toy farm to some).
no problems paying all the bills right now no time payments.

then it all fell apart,
spent a couple years living in a rv on a friends land,
now living week to week just trying to pay the rent,
but still very deep in debt,

but hope i can get something back into the bank before i am forced to retire.

[dreamer_2.0]

Money issues are a concern here also. Have yet to figure out a creative way to make more. Until that time I have to keep my nose to the grindstone and make headway where I can.

Plucking the beard? I actually tried that once...needless to say it wasn't very effective and not the best use of ones time.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

plucking also risks making future electrolysis more costly and time intensive...

[linda allen]

Rather than feeling sorry for yourself for being poor or expecting others to pay for your needs and wants, do something about your situation. Get some education or training and get a better job. Watch your living expenses and don't buy things you don't need.

I once worked with a guy who made half the money I did, yet his expenses for cable TV, cell phone, entertainment and vacations were double mine. He will have to work until the day he dies, I retired with a decent income.

Do an honest evaluation of your financial situation, then work to improve it. You appreciate things more when you earn them.

[CarlaWestin]

I am in the same poor wagon that you are sadly. I'm going through a divorce, will soon have child support, have to rent out my home because I can't afford to keep it, I have to change jobs and go part time, but! I am going to school soon! 2 years worth of education will hopefully land me a decent job in the fashion industry and I can continue on my path to womanhood. If I'm lucky, I can maybe find a therapist who will take a broke college student TS and help her on her way of hormones and whatever else...maybe peace of mind in all this turmoil lol. But I hear ya on the poor front. I feel like my hands are tied!

First, I want to tell you that you have the right attitude. I'm hearing a positive undefeatable drive in your outlook. I was in the same situation at your age. Recently divorced with child support looming. Trying to keep focused on a budding career while going to night school. Dealing with that siren call of feminism that I couldn't quite understand. Add in addictions and abuses plus caring for a disabled sibling. There seems to always be more pressure and uncertainty than can be handled but, in hindsight, you either handle it or it handles you. I'm thirty years past those times now and weather worn from the journey. Believe me, it's still the challenge. And still seems impossible. You just get good at solving things and making correct adjustments. Try not to fall into the haves and have nots comparison or feeling that people have things because they're lucky. My mother would always tell me, "Drive down the street in the rich neighborhood. There's trouble behind every door." And please, ya'll, I don't need the usual, "You just don't understand dysphoria" replies.

[mary something]

That isn't an uncommon situation when you have kids, they are EXPENSIVE! lol. There are ways to lower the costs on hrt by shopping around for your prescriptions and find a pharmacy that has estrogen as a $4 prescription. If you keep a close watch on groupon and living social you can find some great deals on laser hair removal if you purchase multiple treatments at once. My total cost so far to remove about 95% of my facial hair is $300, and I have one more treatment left that should finish the job.

As for the major expenses like surgeries very few people are in the position to simply withdraw tens of thousands of dollars out of an account. For the rest of us it's a matter of getting to our financial goal incrementally, even if it's $20 or $50 at a time.

Some of the members here have made excellent suggestions regarding jobs with good income. Something else to consider is sales. I've known quite a few people who were able to make six figure incomes selling cars even... it's a crappy job but the potential exists to make some serious money if someone is likeable and dedicated to being successful.

[celeste26]

GRS is less expensive than many other surgeries, I had a knee replacement that cost well over $40,000 paid for by Medicare mostly. Your typical open heart surgery lists close to $500 k so there really is no good reason why insurance companies should not include GRS as long as it was endorsed by the proper credentialed Drs. I have heard of a growing number of health insurance companies who have come to realize this financial fact and some have included GRS. With the coming of Obamacare we can look forward to seeing them listed as being covered.

[Cheryl123]

Hi Lynn .. I'd surely make a donation to your cause if I had any $$$ to donate ( a lot of help I am!). I just want to say keep your spirits up and hang in there. Healthcare for TG/TS is about to undergone an earthquake of change due to the Affordable Care Act. As it stands now the heavy hitters like Kaiser (and I believe also Humana and Blue Cross) exclude drug and surgery treatments for TS/TG. But a key portion of the law states that you cannot discriminate against TG/TS patients. Once the law goes into effect (next year) class actions lawsuits will be filed unless the insurance companies change. They are already being planned.

Given the fact that the AMA has certified hormone/surgery as a bona fide medical treatment there is an extremely good chance for the law suits to succeed. The only way insurance companies could deny treatment was through the "pre-existing medical condition" clause. Obamacare does away with that.

The other good news is that the cost of treatment for low income people will be greatly reduced -- something close to $50 a month for the policy (after government subsidy) and a $6500 cap on your yearly expenses should be possible. It will get even better when Florida (and I believe it's only a matter of time) signs on to the expanded Medicaid program.

So keep that sense of humor -- Scatterbrain, love that!

[FurPus63]

I agree and disagree at the same time. Although it is true that surgeries and the like are expensive, there are options and ways to come up with the $ if you put your mind to it. It sounds like you have your hands full if you're raising children, so taking care of them is A#1 priority right now at this stage of your life. I often advise clients who have children to wait 'till they are grown or almost grown to adulthood before transitioning anyway; just due to the complications of the whole situation and all that's involved in it. You might have to do whatever you need to do for yourself right now (as you mention in your post, proper use of make-up, concealer, etc.... wearing clothes that are appropriate, etc....) until your children are able to take care of themselves. That could be 10 - 15 years from now; and by then, things could change. Lots could happen in that time that could make SRS, FFS, and other surgeries more practical. Your life circumstances over the next decade or so could change to the point where getting approved for a loan for those surgeries could be more realistic. Also; who knows where things are going with health care, but by then, this surgery may be covered (as it should be).

I know it sucks because we as Americans have been conditioned to getting what we want now and not waiting for it. That seems to be what the problem is with this country right now, is so many of us want what we want and want it, now! For some of us (those of us who are over 40, 50, or 60) health/medical reasons and old age, pressure us into a more urgent feeling of needing to transition seek surgery(s) a.s.a.p. This is the case with me as I am now 50 years old and feel a tremendous pressure to get my SRS now before it's too late!

Believe me, you have my compassion and empathy. I know what it's like to be poor. To not have money for the things in life I want and in this case, feel I need. Yet, I look back on my life and remember that I always seemed to find a way to get what I wanted and/or needed in the past. "Where there's a will, there's a way," is a famous quote that I often think of. I am bound and determined to get what I feel I need (SRS) to complete my transition and live my life as a whole and complete woman. I'm determined even if it takes me to 60 to do it! God please let that NOT be the case!!! However; my point is I am going to get this damn surgery no matter what it takes; and I'm just hoping and praying a medical/health problem doesn't creep up and strip this opportunity away from me. For that is the only thing that is going to stop me from achieving my goal.

You on the other hand have so many more years to get the things you want/need. I don't know your age, but since you mention having children to raise, I'm assumming you are much younger than I. If that is the case, honey; you are in a good situation. A lot better than most of us. You are not going to stay "poor" forever. Being transsexual you have no choice in that. Being poor, you do have a choice. There are things you can do, and you know it, to get yourself out of that situation. Looking and/or hoping to win the lottery or wishing someone would drop 20 grand in your lap is not the answer; and you know that as well!

$3.00 a day (loose change, quarters, dimes, dollar bills) put away in a jar or envelope gives you $5,000 in five years. A nice down payment on a loan for surgery. Think about it.

Paulette

[Nicole Erin]

That is the problem with transition in some cases. Some TS have money to buy the vag, boobs, and FFS, so they do that but then STILL struggle. Why? Cause they are trying to buy their way into womanhood. They dream of being a model. Most women are not, why should we expect better?

So what if you cannot afford all that? Well then, you "make due" with what you have. No shame in epilating the beard, padding, etc...

Like me, I ain't got a pot to piss in a lot of times yet live as a woman. Being without surgery, some on a forum will say I shouldn't be doing so perhaps or I am not "real". Let's see - friends and family - check. Working a job (9 to 5 grind) - check. Living a life as a woman - check. Getting more good comments than bad - check.

The only thing that has been slow is dating cause I have been lazy. I prefer women. "WHOA ERIN! But you don't pass and most women..." Oh is that so? Had a couple dates, and working on more. I is gonna get me some :D.
Man I don't give a F*** about gender jail! I don't care what a few other trannies, haters or small-minded idiots think!

You want something bad enough you will go out there and get it. Don't let nobody tell you otherwise and surely don't be discouraged and some other TS idea of "who is allowed to transition". Tell'em to go sit on it.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Make the best with what you've got. It's not all about being perfect. No one is. Everyone dreams of being the BARBIE DOLL. But she's just plastic. Not real. Best results will come from working on the inside "you" first...worry about the outside later.
Because you are an exceptional parent you already possess some of the qualities of beauty. You are unselfish when it comes to your children. You realize that sometimes you have to give up on part of what you want for the greater good of those you love.

[Badtranny]

The only thing that has been slow is dating cause I have been lazy. I prefer women. "WHOA ERIN! But you don't pass and most women..." Oh is that so? Had a couple dates, and working on more. I is gonna get me some :D.
Man I don't give a F*** about gender jail! I don't care what a few other trannies, haters or small-minded idiots think!

...and this is why I dig you so much. Even though you're always jumping up my ass about something, ;-)