How do you survive?

[Kate Simmons]

This is mostly directed to those who experience the so-called "pink fog" from time to time that they say seems to compel them to sometimes act irrationally and take chances in connection with CDing. They say the "pink fog makes" them do things they would not normally do when exposed to it. Fair enough but I'm wondering how these folks manage to survive when they are forced to revert back into male mode to continue on with everyday life and necessary tasks to complete en homme which they say they loathe ? Has anyone who periodically gets in the "grip" of the "pink fog" ever tried to bring the compulsion under control and instead make it a conscious choice? If you do it works for you rather than you working for it as the compulsion will take on a life of it's own more or less if allowed to. I know, I used to be there. Now, however, I call the shots where and when as it is a total choice. Seems to work for me anyway. How do you survive?:)

[SheriM]

For me, the pink fog is very real. Dressing, shopping, etc. Yes, I do, on occasion, take chances that I shouldn't. However, when it is time to go back to male mode, I do. It takes some discipline though.

[Jaylyn]

Kate to me when I get the pink fog rolling in I usually can control it. It has taken some really hard work to over come it but sometimes when it hits I feel like I'm about to explode inside. Since I'm retired I can pretty much keep it under control, because I can now satisfy the mood by simply dressing a lot or sometimes just by applying makeup. I think we all have something that nips the fog in its tracks mine is that I have an obsession with deep red lipstick or hose and heels. I have found that sometimes just by applying my lipstick or wearing my hose and heels I can satisfy the fog feeling. Hence some days I just dress in my guy mode and fix my lipstick. After a few cups of coffee and seeing my lip stick on the cup it relaxes my need to continue. Just typing this had started a shortness of breath and a urge to get it out and dress. I can be just watching tv and an commercial comes on that shows some ladies luscious red deep full lips and it starts the feelings. The fog is weird it can be different heights of passions for me and just seeing a woman wearing high heels and some great looking hose usually can get it started also. I hope that the urges really never disappear as I enjoy the fog.

[Beverley Sims]

I think like you, and I, they grow out of it and progress.

[Kate Simmons]

I think like you, and I, they grow out of it and progress.Hopefully so Bev. I'm growing in a different way these days. ;):)

[Rachelakld]

Time management, I manage to get enough girl time to keep the pink fog away long enough to complete all mam mode stuff

[sandra-leigh]

I went to therapy, one therapist for gender therapy specifically and the other for how to take the good things I found in dressing and bring them into my everyday life (which would, in part, give me less reason to dress.) The compulsions continued. It took going on HRT for the compulsions to go away. "Controlling" them or trying to only dress a little did not work for me.

[robindee36]

Compartmentalization.

Living a dual existence is just part and parcel of being a closeted (mostly) CD. I do not loath my male persona nor am I totally infatuated with my female one. My thinking, rightly or wrongly, is the line only becomes blurred when this separation breaks down. Suppose if I could be FT or transition, the separation would deteriorate and the personae blend into one.

But that just ain't happening. Not in my closet.

Hugs, Robin

[EmilyPith]

Interesting the way you phrase it, almost like something out of a Grimm fairy tale.

Are we like werewolves learning to control the dark urges we feel? More power over that dark part of our natures coming with experience and age?

When the moon is full and the fog rolls in, we change into hairless creatures with long, painted fingernails, wigs, and delusions of femininity; we go out among the mortals to try to blend, pass, or cause shock and awe.

Listen to them, creatures of the night, what music they make! (sounds like Erasure, actually.)

[LelaK]

Now That is a very funny slant to put on this serious issue, Emily. Marvelous!

[docrobbysherry]

Is this what you're trying to say, Kate?

"When is too much enuff?" As for me, I don't know! I keep waiting for the compulsion to slow down. In years past, letting Sherry loose whenever she wants has worked. I get sick of all the time and energy she requires!

Lately, the compulsion seems to be growing no matter how much Sherry's out, tho!

[ArleneRaquel]

The compulsion, at least in my case, never goes away and I love it.

[MissTee]

Why EmilyPith, you're a genius. Like Werewolves we are!

I can usually control the pink fog if I find opportunities to dress on some reasonable scale and on a cadence that keeps me sane. Go too long without dressing and I hit critical mass. At that point I have far less self control. Knowing that, I try not to let it build beyond what I can control.

[kimdl93]

I have a very basic rule. If I feel the impulse to do something, I don't do it. My reasoning is that most of the bad decisions I've made in life have been impulsive...made without a thoughtful consideration of pros and cons.

[Jenniferpl]

Survival is simple. When the fog rolls in, it is a sign to have extracurricular activities with my wife. That helps clear the fog away.

[Stacy_sometimes]

I tend to go from two extremes, every month or so.

First extreme: Full on guy mode, not wanting to dress at all. Drinking beer, watching football, and scratching my bellybutton on the couch.

Second extreme: Completely covered in pink fog and wanting to dress every waking minute, underdressing at work everyday, and wondering if I'm a transexual.

In reality, I think my balance point is being a guy that crossdresses occasionally. I'm trying to get myself on some sort of schedule to dress up. (feminine fridays or something..hehe) I'll dress up whether or not I'm feeling like it on these days. I hope it'll keep it more in check and I wont have these pink fog episodes as much. They are fun, but can be somewhat debilitating at the time and unpredictable. Anybody have any luck with something like this?

[LelaK]

CDing is contagious (at least for those of us who sometimes do it). The more I read about others doing it publicly, the more urge I seem to get to do it myself as well. So far, I've only gone public with one other person, but that seems to be the prelude to an avalanche.

[cyndi13]

I feel I battle the "pink fog" all the time now. Recently I fell to the pink fog and dressed in the basement with my wife at home... Had she needed anything downstairs, I would have been had.