Safe haven

[KatieGG]

When me and my husband have a "girl's night out" we have a few different places we like to go. There is a bar a few towns over that we go to a few times a months and are pretty well known at. It has a nice vibe and only had one issue at in a couple years we been going. (The bartender apologized to us and gave us a free round after my husband was hassled by some other guy)

We also like going to concerts mostly pop punk type of bands. The first time we went out with him dressed was at an All Time Low concert and it was a blast. These type of shows draw a young crowd ranging from teens to 20 somethings and we never had any problems. We try to go to at least one show a month and 9 times out of 10 he goes dressed like a girl.

So do any of you have a certain places you feel safe at?

[Ressie]

I've only gone out dressed once and it was safe. Surrounded by other CDs in a gay bar - TG weekend.

[Dealight]

Good question, Katie....
My wife and I do enjoy having a girls night out, but we don't get to do that very often, and I think it's because we don't have that "safe haven" you're talking about. We live in a college area, in the Northeast, but while there seem to be many venues for the "LGB" crowd..... not so much for the "T-girls"......
Also... And this is just me being a little paranoid, I think... When we are out together, I spend more time worrying how my wife is doing....its hard to relax.... I don't mind too much if someone treats me badly, but I sure don't want her to feel uncomfortable in the least. So.....we tend to play it pretty safe if and when we do go out. Sure wish it was different!
Thanks for letting me share......!
Hugs, Dea

[Roberta Marie]

My wife and I enjoy our girls outings. But, unless we are attending a support group meeting, we generally go to mainstream places. Some of our favorite places are the theatre, especially musicals. We also enjoy going to movies and out to dinner. Pretty much, anywhere that is safe for anybody else, we consider safe for us.

[Nikki A.]

I'm widowed but I have two separate GG friends that I have been out with. We have hit mainstream restaurants, stores, malls and been out during the day and evenings. I've found that where there are large groups and families and you're dressed appropiately there is no problem.
Maybe I'm paranoid but I don't enjoy going to bars. In gay bars you don't quite fit in with the lesbians ( who at times can be quite cliquish) and gay men aren't all that interested in me nor I in them. In regular bars alcohol can sometimes fuel a situation that we really don't want to get involved with.

[Tracii G]

No real special place for me.Wish I had a nice club to hang out in enfemme.
I don't drink but just to have the option to dress as I please in a nice place and to be accepted.

[Beverley Sims]

Movies is an obviously safe place, other than that the shopping mall.

[mikiSJ]

A couple of my friends on the board spend a lot of time in San Francisco AND mostly not at gay or CD bars. I joined in one night and had a great time at a neighborhood wine bar.

[julia marie]

When in doubt, roam the malls. Leave the credit cards behind.

[Lola Wants]

My SO and I used to call a lesbian bar in a local LGBT friendly neighborhood our Safe Haven... We both became quite comfortable there but sadly it more recently closed. :(

We are currently looking for our new Safe Haven. Have yet to find it but hopefully we will find it soon. A place that is comfortable to frequent just makes outings that much easier as well as lets us focus on enjoying our time together (not looking over our shoulder to make sure we are safe).

[Sally Martin]

Home is the only place that I feel safe. One of these days I will get up enough nerve to go out and then it would probably be to go to a movie.

[irishsissy]

This may seem odd but I feel safe going to the area Flea Markets. There is a Market somewhere every day of the week here in N.C. The crowds there seem to be older people that are too busy looking for bargains than their surroundings. And when they do glance at me they just say How are you, or if they step in front of me they say excuse me miss. I have,nt felt the same security at the Malls around here mostly because a lot of younger kids are hanging out there and they are always following me around. Or just being stupid. Of course I,m always wearing a short skirt and heels which I know will always draw some attention. And everyone knows a mall parking lot here in N.C. is not safe any time of day or night. Just my input, Hugs, Cindy

[Fran Moore]

Any of the CD conventions that I have attended, SCC, Esprit, IFGE, etc. There is strength in numbers and you can meet and make a lot of new friends in a short period of time.

[kimdl93]

So far, my wife has passed on going out with me and I generally don't go out when she is home. So on those evenings when she travels for work, I may stop at one of several LGBT friendly establishments in our area

[linda allen]

I've never been into the bar scene, since I spent a lot of my younger years working in them. Also, I've had to quit drinking for health reasons and I don't care for the music and volume in most of the bars so that pretty much leaves these places out.

I feel safest just walking down the street in broad daylight in a safe part of the city like the business district or tourist district. Malls are another safe place. City parks are safe in the daylight. Well, some city parks, you have to pick them. If mothers bring their small children there, they are probably safe.

I check out an area in male mode first, then go back.

[KatieGG]

My husband likes the scene girl, kinda punky look which he pulls off pretty well. So we tend to go to places he will fit in dressed like that. We have gone to the mall a few times and really didn't have any issues either but he isn't much for shopping regardless of how he is dressed so it's always a struggle to get him to come shopping anyway lol.

[Lynn Marie]

Every Friday evening is "Girls night out" for myself and a bunch of CD girlfriends here in NW Washington. We have one LGBT club in particular, more further away, and plenty of mainstream restaurants that we frequent. When we're out together, we own the venue! Great fun indeed.

[Eryn]

Mimi and I go out two or three times a week and feel safe just about everywhere we go. If we don't, we go elsewhere!. Restaurants, malls, theater, concerts, etc. are our favorites.

[Candice Mae]

I don't think I've been to any place twice, I have walk around my neighborhood a few times but I never talk the same route.

[Alice Torn]

I went to an outdoor classical concert in June 2010, in a blue medium length skirt, and blue top. No problems, but after the concert, i saw one young man do a double take. I went underdressed twice, chickening out. It is safe, if one is dressed conservatively. I hope to go to a movie soon, but almost all movies today are vile and violent. I can't handle most movies now.