Did anyone experience this?

[Megan72]

So for the last few weeks since I have been really focused on who I am and what I might become in the future, I have been seriously depressed. I am looking for a therapist and have a great recommendation here in Denver. But between the depressed feelings and the nervs that I am gathering to set an appointment I am really feeling overwhelmed. I know I will loose much, relationships etc, but stand to gain so much more.
I am just wondering if the depression was something anyone else felt just before taking the real first steps?

[Rachel Smith]

I was seriously depressed before I took any action. Once I decided to take action it turned more into angst. That phase lasted quite long but with my good friend Michelle and my therapist we slowly chipped away and after that it has been mostly bliss.

Hugs
Rachel

[sandra-leigh]

There is an expression I have seen a couple of times: "Shit just got serious".

[Anne2345]

If you have been depressed and overwhelmed about your issues only over the course of "the last few weeks," count yourself extremely lucky.

In an area such as Denver, I have no doubt you can find a competent and qualified therapist. From what you have written, you have a good recommendation for one. Call the therapist up and schedule an appointment. It is the most constructive thing you can do. And if depression is an on going issue, do not be afraid to inquire about antidepressants. As to your specific question, for me the answer was yes, yes, yes, and some SERIOUS, and absolutely debilitating, YES!!

[Megan72]

Thanks so far ladies. Sandra that is pretty much it in a nut shell I think. Anne, the dpression has been ongoing for as long as I can remember but just since the beginning of September it has been debilitating. I had personal issues to deal with so I put it aside for awhile, kinda running on auto pilot I guess. Now it seems like it has hit me like a freight train.

[Angela Campbell]

Wow I cannot say if I was depressed or not. I was too terrified to know what I was thinking. I spent months in a panic. I may have been depressed all of my life and just didn't know the difference.

When I say panic here I mean a complete uncontrollable, running in circles absolute case of apoplexy. It could possibly be described as a conniption. Picture the tasmanian devil.

[Anne2345]

Picture the tasmanian devil.

That is brilliant use of mental imagery, and spot on!!! I could not have described it any better . . . .

[Megan72]

I have been descibing it as it feels like my head is in a blender.

[LeaP]

If there is anything nice to be said about depression, it is that it is treatable. Life gets really interesting when the clouds clear. What your issues will look like then is anyone's guess.

[mary something]

yes you need to get the ball rolling, staying in no-man's land isn't gonna help. I was in a bad place before I started seeing a gender therapist struggling with anxiety and depression. Taking action and doing something will help.

[arbon]

I am just wondering if the depression was something anyone else felt just before taking the real first steps?

Oh yes.
The very worst was in 2009. Even though I had always had problems with depresion and self loathing, that particular year I really fell off the cliff, a very dark horrible time in my life.
It did force me into taking some action, to start moving in a direction I was very scared of. For me it was all worth it, I feel better about myself then I ever felt before.

[AlexisWest]

Megan, I understand the depression and my heart goes out to you. I've been to several therapists over the years, but just today I started seeing a new one in Colorado Springs. I just did my initial consultation, but this one looks like a good fit. PM me if you'd like to know more.

[Angela Campbell]

That is brilliant use of mental imagery, and spot on!!! I could not have described it any better . . . .

I considered just telling her to look up your threads as you verbalize the feeling so well.....but maybe a visual is quicker.

[Kandy Barr]

Just let yourself be what you feel most comfortable with! If you are a girl, it will become apparent soon enough. If not, then enjoy dressing, and I really mean enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NicoleA]

I'm going through something very similar at the moment.

I've decided that I'm not strong enough to make major decisions at the moment, so my priority is getting my depression under control and I'm now receiving treatment for that. My family doctor is now aware of my gender dysphoria and I've started counselling. I was very nervous about telling people for the first time, but once the words start flowing it's not so bad and no one has looked at me like I'm insane.

[Angela Campbell]

Just let yourself be what you feel most comfortable with! If you are a girl, it will become apparent soon enough. If not, then enjoy dressing, and I really mean enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!

I kind of doubt if she enjoys gender dysphoria, I don't know anyone who does.

[Megan72]

Angela, you are very correct I am not enjoying this at all, in fact it sucks really bad but I do understand Kandy's point. I just need to get through this phase and be able to plod ahead in what ever way is best. I really appreciate everyone on here and all the insight.

[Marleena]

Hi Megan I have suffered from anger issues, anxiety and depression for decades nothing ever seemed to help much. So I believe this paragraph from a website is true.

Antidepressants/Antipsychotics
Psychiatrists have something of reputation for trying to medicate problems away by prescribing drugs. Some, on the misbelief that a patient with Gender Dysphoria is delusional may prescribe anti-psychotic medications. Depression (even suicidal depression) is quite common among people with gender disorders. While anti-depressant medications may help mitigate some of the depression it is only a "band-aid" that ignores treating the underlying cause(s) of the depression. GID does not respond to anti-depressant or anti-psychotic drug therapies.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Feeling "depressed" is a normal reaction when one is faced with difficult decisions. Don't let the depression dissuade you from going to therapy.

[Naomi Newman]

hi megan72 for a start, i can totally understand your feelings, i have been cross dressing since i was a teen and its been supressed by myself and family and relationships for the past 20 years, and its only the past couple of years i have been able to come out as such to myself and a few very close others, its very hard and u are very brave to do what u are doing because people just dont understand and dont want to understand what it means to be something we are not meant to be or something we enjoy being, since ive joined this forum ive been able to read and support and be supported by so many people who know exactly what u are feeling and i know we cant be with u physically, we are with u emotionally. so dont give up on whats right 2 u, cos its like gay rights at the moment they are battling for the rights we will be battleing in the next 20 years, its a slow progression to where we want to be, and until the rules are changed it will always be difficult for others to understand, love naomi xxxx