Do I really belong here?

[PertyX]

Hi all

I sometimes wonder if my presence here is insulting to genuine CD ladies.

What I mean is I only do it for sexual excitement, and always in private (although occasionally out-of-doors private!).

I guess this kind of marks me out as a lower level of CD.

[claireforever]

Lots of cd rs do it for the excitment , I for one do but the older I get the longer I feel I want to stay dressed and enjoy it for longer , I dont think there is any criteria to meet , just the fact you wear womens clothes means your a crossdresser ...so welcome and enjoy.

[Marcelle]

Hi Perty,

Sweetie, there is no hierarchy of CDing. We all just want to be accepted for who we are and are trying to find comfort and support amongst ourselves. The spectrum of TG is quite a litany list and you fall within the CDing category (sexual fetishism). There are lots of gals in the same boat and anyone who tells you that you don't belong or makes you feel like you don't belong has missed the point of a support forum. You are very WELCOME here and should never be ashamed of how you choose to express yourself.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

There is no genuine CDr. This place is a mix of motivations. A lot of us have at one time or another defined our CDing as a sexual thing, later to discover other dimensions.

[MarcyRex]

Wait, there's a hierarchy? Welcome to the boards. This forum is about support, not one-up-man-ship. Whatever gets you to your happy place and however you define that happy place, this is a safe place to express yourself.

[Kate Simmons]

Where you belong more or less has to be determined by you, yourself, my friend.:)

[Beverley Sims]

You do not have to lower your self esteem like that.
You have a normal sexual appetite as long as you don't involve others in embarrassing moments.

[suchacutie]

Not only is there no "CD manual nor a hierarchy, there is also nothing constant. I've been here for eight years and the only constant I've seen is that everybody changes. Everybody who is supportive and has, or is thinking about, dipping their toes (painted or not) into these transgendered waters csn belong. It's really up to you.

[Gillian Gigs]

Many of us have this sexual "variation" and there is really no big deal about it, as it effects no one but the person doing it. Would you ridicule someone for putting chocolate sauce on vanilla ice cream, of course you wouldn't! Chocolate sauce is nothing more than a variation of how somebody enjoys their ice cream. If society said that you couldn't put strawberry sauce on your ice cream, then you would do it in private, so as to be not ridiculed. What does society know anyway! Enjoy your ice cream...I mean dressing, just don't get too obsessive about it.

[NicoleScott]

Yes, you do belong here. But it's a difficult place for a pleasure dresser to hang out, as those CDers who dress to express their internal femininity can and do delve into every aspect of their dressing,, while pleasure dressers must not post explicit sexual references, even if it would be helpful to them and supporting others. This policy has helped keep the forum from becoming a porn site, and I support the policy. We can discuss dressing for sexual excitement in general terms, but we don't need to know the details. Besides, don't we all know the details anyway? Sometimes it seems that the forum is more supportive of girly men than real men who just like to dress up occasionally. You know, crossdressers.
In my years here on the forum, I sense that some CDers feel that there is a heirarchy or a right and wrong way to CD. Some CDers like to refer to themselves as classy, sophisticated, traditional, and conservative while using terms like trashy and whorish and masking banned workd like $l*tty to get around the rules when discussing styles less conservative than their own. Closet CDers are encouraged to get out of the closet, but then pushed back into the closet because their look damages the cause of public acceptance. No lumberjacks in a miniskirt allowed out. Pleasure dressers can come aboard but must ride in the back of the crossdressing bus.
Some CDers would be happy to drive you away but other pleasure dressers like me think you should stay, giving and getting support for others like us. Topics not allowed on the public forum can be handled in a private message.

[Joanne108]

You belong! I know I still get a thrill from getting all dressed up! The better I look the longer I stay dressed! That is the danger of cross dressing LOL!

[PertyX]

Thanks, all - some nice comments and considered, non-judgmental answers.

I'll spare the details when I relate what I've been up to!

x

[Karren H]

Its not our motives that bring us together.....

[Seana Summer]

No lumberjacks in a miniskirt allowed out.

Oh Oh I guess I better put my chain saw away and get going!

Just Kidding, I like it here and I am staying around:heehee:

As a part time CDer I can sympathize with those who wonder if they fit in. But if you came to this site wondering about yourself, I think you belong! Looking around I think most can find others here who are in a similar place and can make some very good friends.

[PretzelGirl]

:yt: I agree with Karren. If you get down to the details, you will probably find that we are each different in our own way. That is why I like to say that nothing is 100% around here. If there is a variation or situation that is possible, one of us meets that. So please hang around, absorb what everyone has to offer, and above all, love yourself. Each of us is special and deserving of care.

[Jenniferathome]

You belong here if you get something out of being here.

[Wildaboutheels]

With few exceptions and VERY few denials, most all MALE CDing - easily 95% or greater - at one time or another [easily confirmed] had [or still has] a sexual component to it. And MALE Os are what keep Humans on the planet. Of course they are addictive as well as any means or "aids" to achieve them.

Actually the "full dressers" who have no need or desire to transition are the actual minority. [just not at this particular Forum] Female clothing items and Os are no different than Pavlov's whistle and his dogs. INvoluntary responses and nothing more. We have little or no control over WHAT turns us on, so it's a bit silly to feel guilty or ashamed about "it" IMO.

The crux of the matter is that there are no right or wrong reasons to CD. Which means that ALL reasons and ALL CDers are created equal.

Of course some here would disagree which is their prerogative of course.

[Chari]

No matter where you are on the gender scale, you have to be comfortable and confident with your actions and who you are.

[tictac43]

I used to feel the same way about not belonging. I definitely get a sexual feeling from it all. It seems that most do. Just keep doing what you like to do!

[Lorileah]

So the jury is in...you have been accepted, congratulations. :)

[Tracii G]

You belong here no question.
If you want to get freaky and nasty there are other sites that deal in that but don't do it here.

[sperow2003]

I think you sparked me into activity on the Forum, Perty X. We are both in the same "category" and I feel the same way as youdo although my wife does know and encourages me a lot. Thanks for the inspiration.

[AmyGaleRT]

Perty, there are approximately as many reasons for crossdressing, and styles of doing it, as there are crossdressers. Many of us started out exactly like you (including me!), and many of us are content to continue dressing in that manner and for those reasons. You're welcome here, whether your're dressing in private for the excitement, or whether you're dressed to the nines and sipping drinks in a piano bar, your purse by your side, enjoying being a lady of the world! :)

- Amy

[Vickie_CDTV]

Think of it this way. Of the entire population of transgender people, that is transgender in the absolute widest definition of transgender behavior, the largest population of that group is transvestic fetishists. You are hardly a minority when it comes to people born men who wears womens' clothes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Perty, If you thing that you belong here then you do as long as you are happy.

[Maria 60]

As long as your putting on those silkier panties your in the right place. For myself some times it's sexual and others I just enjoy relaxing dressed. Even for myself I only at times get a few hour a week to dress and most of my dressing is under dressing, I wear panties and pantyhose everyday after work so sometime I ask myself if I belong here.

[gautier_nikolai]

Sure.It takes all kinds as they say.

For one I'm gay, as regards my sexual orientation, and there are a few of us gay CDers here and i think it's well acknowledged 95 percent of CDers or something similar are heteros.

I think alot of CDers start with a sexual component when younger when they first start trying on their first womens' garments.Quite often it starts with panties or hose.

Some are in the closet and happy some are out and about in public and happy:)

[sperow2003]

Its good to see all the positive responses to this; for myself its mostly just a case of wanting to wear something silky for a time. It could be a dress, blouse, skirt or silk scarf but to me it is a great source of pleasure. Thanks again everyone.

[julia marie]

Perty, welcome. Glad to have you here