Isha's first visit to the ladies room

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

Well not exactly a huge milestone but one that I wanted to share. As a result of my social science experiment a few days back, I found out my car had a recall notice which needed repair and took it in yesterday to have it done. So . . . since Isha got me in this mess, I decided she would see it through to the end.

Dressed much the same, jeans, boots, top, coat and scarf and drove to the dealership for 9AM. Now the last time I went, it was mid-week and less busy. For some reason, Friday seems to be the day everyone takes their car in for servicing. So when I walked through the door to check-in . . . big line-up waiting to drop off cars (winter tire season up here). So, I took a deep breath and joined the end of the line. There were quite a few stares (nothing rude) but the GG in front of me was quite nice and told me she liked my boots so we talked quite a bit until we were both served.

When we went out to the waiting area, it was packed. A traffic jam had delayed the courtesy shuttle. I was still talking to the GG and didn't notice that two very nice gentlemen had got up and offered us their seats. Have to admit it was a pleasant experience but I am sure it was directed more at the GG and the other guy was going along with it out of courtesy . . . still it was nice. So we continued to talk some more until the shuttle arrived and she had to leave :sad:. I was waiting for my car as it was only suppose to take an hour. So, I was alone again in a waiting room full of people. There were a lot of stares, including staff who seemed to find a reason to come into the waiting area to have a look but then again nothing rude, just curiosity.

Now the hour turned into two and I couldn't sit any longer so I decided to get up and walk around the vehicles on display. One of the sales people (a GG) approached me and we talked about the new Santa Fe and got on the conversation of me being TG. It was funny because she wanted to know since my jeans were quite form fitting where everything was :heehee:. I explained a bit about tucking and she was quite surprised this could be done. The next question she asked was "which bathroom do you use when you are dressed?" Now this was a timely question as I did have a sudden urge to use the bathroom (stupid complementary coffee). So I told her I normally stick to family bathrooms or ones that are designated both genders. However I did confide in her that I needed to use the bathroom and as there was two separate ones for both male and female, I was not sure what to do. She was so sweet and said "Honey, all I see is a girl and all anyone is going to see is your boots in the stall. Go use the ladies and you will be fine".

So I did. I walked down the hallway and headed for the ladies washroom. Now I had been down this hallway a lot (boy mode) and it seemed weird to turn right instead of left. Took a deep breath, opened to the door and headed in. There was a GG at the sink, washing her hands, I was a expecting a scream and "GET OUT" but nothing, I just walked into a stall. Now this was the most nerve wracking few minutes (talk about performance anxiety). I was just finishing up and exited when another GG walked in and asked if I had any contact drops by chance. I did and got them from my purse. She fixed her contact, gave them back to me and added she loved my outfit and left. So I brushed my hair a bit, fixed my lipstick (just had to try it) and left. A bit surreal but quite fun.

When I got back out, the service guy informed me my car was ready and they were just giving it a complimentary wash. I went with him and paid. The guy washing my car asked if he should park it outside but the service guy said "That's okay she'll be driving it out" I smiled and thanked him. When I got to the car the guy washing the car held my door open and said "Have a nice day miss" . Now I am not sure they were just being facetious and had a good laugh afterwards or if they were being genuine. I for one prefer to think that human kindness is alive in the world and they were being just that . . . kind.

So all in all another positive day for Isha

Hugs

Isha

[VS Fan]

Very cool! It's quite possible that someone in management noticed the employees all trying to "get a glimpse" and reminded them of their customer service training regarding transgender etc ... but whether they were genuinely nice of their own accord or they "got with the program", it's awesome that it worked out the way it did! Now you just need to go run over a nail or something so you have a reason to go back :) LOL

[Janet Bern]

Great story. I have used women's rooms often with no problems and no stares.

[I Am Paula]

What a very nice post.
Although it has been many years, I remember well the slow dawning of the revelation that the villagers with pitchforks were all in my head. Whether you pass perfectly, every time, or you are just doing your best to fit in, in your chosen presentation, most people will treat you politely, and as your preferred gender.
I have been using the ladies room for 25 years. Thru my 'OMG, look at the cross dresser' phase, a fairly androgynous phase, a short lived 'screaming drag queen' era, many years as a musician, and now, just living female with my matching body (work in progress) and mind. So far, not a single incident, except for once, when I walked into the MEN'S (blonde moment), and my brother in law, standing at a urinal, asked WTF I was doing in there.
Congratulations on your progress.

[Chari]

Thanks for sharing your exciting adventure! There are so many things that happen in our everyday life that could cause us to panic, but it is wonderful you handled every situation with control. The more you get out and about as Isha, the more it will become "normal".

[Beverley Sims]

Aha!
You are still exploring new avenues of adventure. :)

[PretzelGirl]

Thank you for the story Isha! It is always great to hear about the trips where new things happen and people act.......well like people. Awesome!

[Bria]

Isha, thanks for the new edition of the Isha Adventures! Being in auto sevrice I tell my employs that all we require is that the customer's money be green and they get all of the courtesy of anybody regardless of color, orientation, or anything else. We are in business to provide a service for a fair price, end of story! You got the money honey, we got the service. Thanks for the great story, Bria

[Kandy Barr]

:oAnd many more visits to come!!!!!!!!!

[paulaprimo]

great story isha,,,you can now cross that off of your bucket list...lol
it was also a "rush" for me the first time i used the ladies room
and have never had a problem as of yet!
hurray for you :)

[Lorileah]

The next question she asked was "which bathroom do you use when you are dressed?" Now this was a timely question as I did have a sudden urge to use the bathroom (stupid complementary coffee). subliminal suggestion does that. :)



Now I am not sure they were just being facetious and had a good laugh afterwards or if they were being genuine. I for one prefer to think that human kindness is alive in the world and they were being just that . . . kind.

Knowing the company (maker) of your car and knowing MY dealer, I can say they were not being facetious. I have nothing but great service from that company (Hyundai). They are truly good about customer service, so it was sincere. (Make sure when the thing comes in the mail you give them the rating you think they deserve)

[Leslie Langford]

Isha, I loved your story about using the women's washroom, and especially your non-eventful interaction with with the GG's in there while you were using it. I always use the ladies' room when out in "Leslie" mode, and it has always been a non-event in spite of my initial trepidation when I first began doing this.

My most memorable experience occurred a couple of years ago when I had just finished a meal in a mall restaurant and went to use the ladies' room before continuing to shop 'till I dropped. As in your case, a GG was just leaving as I entered, and I was about to start fixing my wig and freshening my makeup when I heard a faint call of "Hello? Hello?"

Unbeknownst to me, it turns out that there was another GG in a stall at the far end of the room, and my first thought was that she was calling out to someone else - a friend or a family member, perhaps. Then it dawned on me that I was the one whose attention she was seeking to get, and of course, the initial moment of panic immediately set in. Quickly recovering, I mustered up my best female voice, and replied "Yes, are you calling out to me?", to which she replied in the affirmative.

Turns out that this GG had entered the stall and had proceeded to do her business without realizing that the toilet paper roll was empty, and was now calling out for assistance. She then asked if I would be good enough to pass her some of this paper under the door, which I proceeded to do.

This request certainly caught me off-guard initially, but apparently, this type of thing is a common occurrence in womens' washrooms, and GG's think nothing of it.

Needless to say, she was very grateful for my help, and I was happy to oblige. I then continued to do what I had originally come in for without further incident, and before leaving, as a courtesy asked if there was anything else she needed. She replied "no", and again thanked me for my help.

I now know that there is at least one GG out there who must be eternally grateful that a CDer was in the ladies' washroom with her - except for the minor detail that she never knew it. ;)

[Suzanne F]

Isha
I just have a few minutes but wanted to commend you on your courage. Isn't it the best to be out in the world living like we feel sometimes! I loved your story probably because I just experienced these things also six months ago. Here is to many more firsts to us in our journey!
Hugs
Suzanne

[Stacy_sometimes]

Isha, thats a great story. I hope I can be as comfortable in public as that some day. Just curious, while you were having interactions with these people, did you try to make a female voice, or were you just using your male voice? If I were to do such a thing I would think it would be more comfortable with a female voice, but I would probably sound creepy at this point.

Stacy

[Helen_Highwater]

Isha,
While out and about a short while ago I needed to answer the call of nature. Following the advice often given here I'd decided to use the ladies. I found some public toilets at the rear of a large and all but empty car park. Very few people around so in I go. No one in there, so far so good, into a stall and get on with.........
Just starting to get dressed when I hear first a dog barking, then children's voices followed by at least 2 female voices coming my way. I must admit to a quick moment of panic. I half expected to hear, "OK who wants the toilet?" Followed by half a dozen girly "me please mummy" and the place fill with this large family.
But then I thought, "Just sit tight and wait it out" which is what I did. As it turned out it was the male of the group who availed himself of the gents and after a minite or two all went quiet and I made my exit.
Had it just been one or more females I don't think it would have panicked me as much but I think bringing children into the equation moves the goal posts, people being defensive towards their kids.
Anyway, it's something that many here have learned to cope with and I survived to tell the tale.

[AmyGaleRT]

Isha, you did exactly the right thing in this case, and, as you've seen, you found acceptance in your presented gender.

I'm not sure what Canadian law says, but Colorado's civil rights rules absolutely protect my right to use ladies' restrooms, dressing rooms, etc., while presenting as Amy. But I also know not to act abnormally when doing so; I just mind my own business and act like any other lady would. You did the same thing, and it worked. Great for you! :)

- Amy

[Alice Torn]

Interesting story! Because of my size, at six foot six, 258, defensive end size, I have great fears of going into a ladies room, as i am read quickly be sheer size, huge hands, and size 16 womens shoes.

[Sarasometimes]

Great story.

My first was at a Barnes and Noble with a GG. And I'm glad she was there. My skirt zipper got stuck and I needed her to help unstick it. She joins me in the stall and sure enough in walk two GG's. They see the feet under the stall and ask if all is OK. She of course answers, stuck zipper , we're fine. We work it out and she exits, I do what needs to be done and out we go.
With that being my intro I avoid them when possible. An FYI, almost all Starbucks have unisex or one seaters. Also hair salons are a great place. I just walk in ask about their services and then ask if I might use the restroom.

[Amberhea]

If there was a "Like" button on here I would totally LIKE this post.

[Laura M]

Isha, I really enjoy your stories. I don't yet have the courage to "step out" of the closet, but I am impressed by you and your journey. I do have a question--- Where does "Isha" come from? An interesting name, but unknown to me. Keep up the good work!!!

[Michelle (Oz)]

Now I had been down this hallway a lot (boy mode) and it seemed weird to turn right instead of left.

Now I am not sure they were just being facetious and had a good laugh afterwards or if they were being genuine. I for one prefer to think that human kindness is alive in the world and they were being just that . . . kind.

Isha

Its a funny feeling going places that you frequent as homme and femme. Sometimes I have to think about the right entrance.

I'm also sure that the staff were genuinely supportive Isha. So often we stand out as good different.

Which leads me to ....


Make sure when the thing comes in the mail you give them the rating you think they deserve)

This is extremely important. I have on quite a number of times given very positive feedback often unsolicited, i.e not just prompted by feedback surveys.

The staff really appreciate it ... they know who has provided the feedback (may be sometimes with a little help in identification) ... and have warm feelings to you. A very positive benefit all round.

[Kanwal]

@Isha and other sisters did it. I want to do it.

[Marcelle]

Hi everyone,

Thanks very much for your kind comments and support. I would have to say that between the ladies room and great service this is one of my top Isha days. I know there will be some downturns as I move forward but it will be days like this that will keep my spirits uplifted.

Hugs all

Isha

[julia marie]

Isha, you used the ladies room and there were no flashing red lights,no sirens, no police? That's what I expected on my first trip to the room with the "W" outside it. No problems then, or since. I don't go out of my way to make eye contact, etc., in those places, but I'm still amazed at how friendly women are when passing through the rest room. Guys room? Nothing. Haven't had the TP request from the other stall yet, but I've been in that fix myself, so a few tissues or napkins in the purse are a good idea. The other challenge still remains, remembering to check what I'm wearing before I open a bathroom door. Am I being a boy or a girl today?