9-1-1

[Mumstheword]

Woah! So my boss texted me & wants to meet me tomorrow for lunch.. (For those who don't know, my boss just came out to me as a CD) eeekkkk! I'm so nervous!
Should I go, or not make myself that easily available in case this turns into habit ??? Help me sistahhs!!!

[natalie edwards]

I say go. Maybe you'll get some answers. You could always duck the next request.

[RenneB]

I'd go. If the meeting goes awkward, just say this conversation is making me uneasy and duck out. Or you can go into the meeting with a set time limit saying that I need to get to a previous appointment in a few minutes, but I can stay for a little bit.

Hope this helps....

Renne.....

[Dannigirl]

I say go for it, crossdressers are awesome people, much like you !!! Then you can tell her to tell him to quit being a d bag at work - ahahahaha. I hate this, I just got some new longer nails glued on and can't type worth crap with them.

[SometimesJen]

He's asking to meet for lunch, not in the office, so it's a person-to-person meeting, not boss-to-subordinate. I'd say go, just say you have an appointment in an hour. If you want more time to talk, make another lunch date. If the conversation makes you uneasy, say so and either change the topic or leave. Remember, it's a *huge* step for him to come out to you and he's likely as nervous as you are. Take this chance to find a common ground so you can work well together.

[joanna4]

By all means please go and support your boss. I would love to have a CD boss.

[Pandys]

By all means please go and support your boss. I would love to have a CD boss.

Definitely, I would love to find out my boss was a CD or better yet a friend. It would make for some interesting conversation.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mumsie, What does your boss know about your personal life style??

[Mumstheword]

Blue....He knows all the sweet nice things, like I volunteer , I bake cookies for the troops, I coach cheerleading, I read to the blind.... He doesn't know that I like to dress like a wh@re on weekends & do Jell-O shots off of strangers.. I have known him for 20 years, worked for him for 14... I don't talk about to much personal life at work, I have always felt like who cares just do your damn job. We've had other employees tell us their life stories, their kids life stories, their break ups, everything.. I think that's why he likes me bcz I'm not a whiner, I don't bore him with details.he can trust me.. Well maybe not .. I just outed his secret to thousands of fabulous people in one day.. Whoops

[kimdl93]

So your boss knows you are cd? I would go, but maintain distanc.

[LelaK]

Can I apply for a job with your boss too?

[Mumstheword]

So your boss knows you are cd? I would go, but maintain distanc.

No love... He is. I'm a GG... Do I look cd?

[Candice Mae]

Since he just came out to you, you should probably go. If he wants to talk about his CDing the conversation will have to happen eventually.

[Robin777]

I would go to lunch with him. Maybe he just wants to talk about his being a CD. The thing to do is be very polite about it and try to be supportive if he does open up about his CDing. If you don't go you will never know why he wants to go to lunch and it might upset him and carry on to work.

[Requal Jo]

As stated by my sisters go. Your boss needs a friendly and trusting ear to listen to him while he works through his feelings of coming out. You do not have to get involved if you do not wish to and can always make an excuse to leave should you to become uncomfortable.

[MissTee]

Go and see what he wants. He may simply want to give you a chance to ask questions. I'm sure in coming out he has some discomfort and uncertainty about how others feel. Your chance to show you're OK with it. If he starts to go weird on you, you can always leave.

[Beverley Sims]

For now, go.
If it turns insidious back of slowly.
Show acceptance, you still need a job.

[Tracii G]

Go and have a good time.
Apparently he thinks a lot of you to ask you to lunch.Maybe you can give tips on being lady like.......................even if you do jello shots :)

[Mumstheword]

I am wide awake.. Super nervous! MS.SIMS I am happy for him, but you sd something the other day that made me raise a brow ( that needs a waxin lol ) you sd be careful go slow, I'm not in control of this so I'm nervous about that, I am a control freak! With all that aside I can't say it enough that I am happy that he was so happy... I could see peace in her eyes, & she looked free... Free of stress, fancy free! I am going to go! Wish me luck ladies! I wish I had all of y'all on speed dial!!

[Tracii G]

You HAVE to give us a full report on what happens we want to know all the gossip.

[Mumstheword]

TRACII- trust me, it will be a play by play, I will probably excuse myself so I can thread emergency questions to all of y'all! BE ON STAND BY PEOPLE!!!

[Tracii G]

Mumsie we are on the edge of our seats awaiting your play by play.LOL

[Dannigirl]

PM me with the restaurant name and I'll bring some of the ladies, blink twice if you need our help !

[Connie.Marie]

Mums,
After so much time together he obviously trusts you. He's seen how nice a person that you are, I'm going to guess that he wants your help with cding. Makeup, clothes, spend time with you as herself, maybe go out with you clubbing... be ready for questions like that & realize that he will be very nervous. You may be the first person he's ever had this conversation with in person.
Have a great time.. Tell us all.

Hugs, Connie marie

[Marcelle]

While it is likely you have already gone before you read this post, I think it is a good idea for you to go. When I came out to my first GG (other than my wife) I picked someone I thought I could trust and who would be there to allow me to express my inner girl and support me. Turns out I was right and we have great time together at work (I don't dress at work but we still have our little secret and fun conversations). It could be your boss is looking for a kindred spirit who will allow her to express herself.

Hugs and keep us informed.

Isha

[stefan37]

So your boss knows you are cd? I would go, but maintain distanc.

Lol her boss is CD and Mum is gg.

[Amie Marie]

Have fun and be prepared for your boss to ask over and over, "are u ok with this?". She seen something in u that made her tell, jello shots included :heehee:. Trust me your boss is as nervous as u are and is still scared she said anything. She wants to make sure everything is ok between u.

[kimdl93]

No love... He is. I'm a GG... Do I look cd?

Honestly, I just assumed the pic was someone else! I'm easily confused!

[Megan72]

Just be yourself, that's what made her be at ease to tell you in the first place. She is likely just as scared as you and just wants a friend. Nothing wrong with that.

[GaleWarning]

It seems I am the only one who says, "Don't go!!!".

This is NOT a business lunch, and therefore is not part of your contract.

I warned you before, not to get emotionally involved. I repeat, "Don't get involved!"

I see a train wreck coming. Sorry.

(On second thought, No I'm not sorry. I have to tell it the way I see it, and I see you ending up in tears..)

[audreyinalbany]

well Mums, I think you do probably have to go, turning own the invite will just make things so much more awkward at work. But, like I said yesterday, you may be on a slippery slope. I know Mr. Big (or Dr. Big) wants to share his secret with you and that's all well and good. But, he is still in a position of power over you. He may very well just want a gg to hang out with from time to time (which is something I would LOVE to have), no strings attached. If you're cool with the occasional outing with her, then go for it. If she wants something more than that, it could be a deal breaker for you, up to losing your job. The whole part about his miserable marriage keeps bothering me. My wife and I have a great marrriage, although she's not a fan of my cross dressing, and I'm really not interested in straying. Either way, you're in now, so all you can do is follow up and find out whats on her mind. I hate to be so suspicious. I had a gg (a sales associate by the way) who I shared my desire to have a gg to hang out with and she said, "Aren't you worried that if you found an accepting woman you'd fall in love with her?" Meanwhile, I can't wait to get the follow up on your lunch.

[suchacutie]

It is sticky. Going to lunch in a public place is ok. Colleagues and work professionals do this all the time, regardless of who reports to whom.

The issue is the conversation. This is not a time for you to commit to anything. "I'll get back to you on that" is always a phrase that is available. Take a few moments to think about various threads of conversation. That will prepare you as best you can be prepared.

Good luck, but I do think this will be ok. Keep as professional as possible. Make it a business lunch whether he wants it that way or not.

[Chickhe]

...well, isn't your boss the same person you knew up until now? Isn't it just dressing differently? So, just be honest, tell your boss what you feel, but caution...this is your boss, so you should factor that in. That's probably why your boss wants lunch, to make sure you are okay with the changes.

[Tracii G]

Mums is married so I don't think she is going to get "involved" Gale.
She could make this into a good thing for her job wise so I would take advantage of the opportunity.

[Dannigirl]

Wellllllll ? C'mon fish lips - dish !!! It is 2:30 p.m. so you have had plenty of time to have lunch, visit the ladies to update us and let us know what is happening !!

[Jill Devine]

I'm probably going to get slammed for asking/saying but am I the only one here wondering if this whole thread is fantasy fiction?

[Dannigirl]

who cares, is cold and windy here near Lake Huron, soooooo much more fun than flipping channels.

[Tamara Croft]

I'm probably going to get slammed for asking/saying but am I the only one here wondering if this whole thread is fantasy fiction?Oh trust me, you're not the only one thinking the exact same thing....

[Greenie]

I always say that its best not to get to personal with your boss. Something can go wrong and someone gets fired, or something and then it turns into a giant dramatic mess. I think that you might need to careful because unless you have a clear friend/boss distinction. Things get messy. FAST.

[binx]

I'm probably going to get slammed for asking/saying but am I the only one here wondering if this whole thread is fantasy fiction?

I'm also a little suspicious.

Also feeling a little confused and curious about what the workplace's regulations might be for employee/boss relationships, dates, hang outs, etc regardless of gender or orientation. I dunno...

If it's a genuine story, then good luck to all involved.

[Kate Simmons]

Hey, as long as he buys, who cares right?:heehee::battingeyelashes:

[AmyGaleRT]

Mums, please come back and tell us how it went. The suspense is killing me! :)

- Amy

[Momarie]

Blue....He knows all the sweet nice things, like I volunteer , I bake cookies for the troops, I coach cheerleading, I read to the blind.... He doesn't know that I like to dress like a wh@re on weekends & do Jell-O shots off of strangers.. I have known him for 20 years, worked for him for 14... I don't talk about to much personal life at work, I have always felt like who cares just do your damn job. We've had other employees tell us their life stories, their kids life stories, their break ups, everything.. I think that's why he likes me bcz I'm not a whiner, I don't bore him with details.he can trust me.. Well maybe not .. I just outed his secret to thousands of fabulous people in one day.. Whoops

Your imitation of a GG needs some work.

[linda allen]

If your boss asks you to meet him for lunch, it seems to me you are pretty much obligated to go. I've been invited to lunch with my bosses before. It was more a "thanks for doing a good job" than anything else.

I would go with the assumption that it's job related. If crossdressing comes up, I would keep that subject as short as possible and go on to something else.

[NicoleScott]

It seems I am the only one who says, "Don't go!!!".

You're not the only one. I agree.
I was hired by a good friend, and we had a very good relationship at work. But I intentionally placed a little distance between us outside of work. So for years we remained friends outside of work and good working partners. It all went south one day, when on my day off he imposed a personal favor on me that was incompatible with my plans. I declined to do the favor and things were never the same. Bosses like him are called "benevolent dictators", meaning I'll take care of you at work but you work for me at all times.
Meetings can start out innocently, but can get complicated. I say keep your distance.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Once upon a time, I was a member of a gaming forum. Chock full of geeks, nerds, competitive gamers and hobbyists showing off their skills and bragging about their gaming abilities. There were male and female gamers, kids, teens, adults, and the ages ran from 7 to 68 y/o's.

And then, one day, a gamer-geek goddess joined the boards. She was 19, hot, blond, had hot friends (and pics to prove it!) and played the games. Then, rather quickly, she revealed that she was a pole dancer, engaged in Off Topic sexual talk, and totally hooked at least one lonely young man who, through her texts and responses, fell for her. Hard.

When some of the community, myself included, started to voice our suspicions of the 'lady's' veracity, 'she' finally confessed that 'she' was a group of college students supposedly working on a group project for a psychology class. The young man who thought he had found a romantic friend, was devastated by the revelations of the truth. It is very easy to deceive and be deceived, on the internet.

While I am not saying that the scenario posted by Mumstheword is a total fabrication, I have very strong doubts about it being 100% factual. Based on prior experiences, I see this going one of two ways: A - Righteous indignation by the poster who then abandons the boards in a huff; or B - Dead silence from the OP upon having been found out.

I post this, not to start a fight or a war but because there are so many of us who, because of who & what we are, are already leading somewhat deceptive lives and I see no valid reason for anyone to deliberately muddy the waters further.

I guess I'm just saying that if something appears to be too good to be true, then perhaps it isn't true at all.

And, if I am proved wrong in this, and the OP is a genuine GG who has a CD for a boss, then I will apologize and gladly eat my own words.

[daviolin]

Sounds like a good ice breaker. At least thats out in the open. Daviolin

[Tamara Croft]

If your boss asks you to meet him for lunch, it seems to me you are pretty much obligated to go.Even if this was real, which I very much doubt, seeing as she hasn't even been back for 2 days to reply (maybe he was an axe murderer!), how the hell do you figure if your boss asks you to meet for lunch you're obligated to go?? You're not obligated to go anywhere with your boss and if he did try to force it, well that's harassment and a law suit waiting to happen :rolleyes:

[GaleWarning]

Tamara, I wonder how many members of this forum have experience of employment law?
I would only consider having lunch with the boss if the rest of the office staff were also invited.
And then I would take care to stay sober ...

[Tamara Croft]

No idea Gale, but I do know that if my boss said I had to go to lunch with her because I was obligated, I'd tell her to do one. I really don't understand where some people get their ideas from, but it did make me laugh ;)

[Being Paige]

I can't wait for the follow up report!! Im sooo excited ;)

[ReineD]

Should I go, or not make myself that easily available in case this turns into habit ??? Help me sistahhs!!!

What is it that you don't want to turn into a habit? Just meeting your boss for lunch because you think he is coming on to you and you are not interested? Or is it because you feel that dating or being friends with people at work is not professional?

If so, then you should tell him how you feel and decline.

If not and you do want to be friends with him, or he is coming on to you and you are interested, then go and enjoy.

Last possibility: since he came out to you and you are a GG, he might have come out to you simply because he wants to have a GG friend who will help him with fashion or makeup tips, or shopping, or someone with whom he feels he can be "one of the girls" with. It's up to you whether this is acceptable to you or not. If it isn't, then you should decline the lunch invite and tell him it is because you prefer work relationships to not spill over into personal relationships. If you don't mind helping him out, then again, go and enjoy.

[Mumstheword]

FINALLY!!! I couldn't log back in, been tryin for hours! Alrighty then... Well I went, some things that I was told was painful, I will keep to myself. I feel wrong for repeating it. I met joleen she is kind, I could see the happiness like I saw last week in her eyes, behind the smile, and the lipgloss I could also see the pain.... The pain in having to keep her a secret, I feel sorry for her. I actually feel sorry for a lot of you that can't be who you are. I don't mean it in a disrespectful way, I'm very sorry if you take this the wrong way. But my heart actually breaks for her. And some of you. I'm just saddened by this world we live in. It's sad that people can't be who they are.... I read just a few comments of ppl doubting me, I guess I can see where you would put up a guard, why someone would make this up I don't see what the gain is, I don't know how to prove to you that I'm sincere, or genuine... For those doubters I'm sorry if I upset you.. For those who have helped me better understand I thank you. I really thank you! When I first got on here I just wanted an answer, then seeing some of your pics & reading comments y'all made me laugh, not at you, just y'all are some funny b!tches!!then I started having fun.... But now after meeting Joleen I realize that this is real, real life, your life, some filled with happiness, some filled with secrets, and I'm guessing some filled with pain. ... This is no longer just about my boss.. This is now about me, I want to be a better person, I want our world to be a better place, I want all of you to be happy ! Be true to yourself, be who you are! I can't change the world, but I can change me. Thank you whole heartedly to those who help others, don't judge, and most of all who believe that they are worth it! .... The boss was back to being himself today, a d-bag, he shared a lot with me Sunday, I just listened I didn't say much, I hope he gets what he needs out of her, and I hope one day she can be free, until then I'm here if she needs me. With love peace & great lipgloss... Monica, aka mumstheword

[AmandaM]

Well Mums, now that you're friends with "her", you could mention that his behavior could be better at work. Tell him he doesn't have to act that way, he's doing it cause he's afraid people will discover his "secret". Ya see, if he's always hostile, no one will want to get close to him. It might be a self-defense mechanism.

[Mumstheword]

always hostile, no one will want to get close to him. It might be a self-defense mechanism.AMANDA YOU ARE 100% right!!!

[CarlaWestin]

............if my boss said I had to go to lunch with her because I was obligated, I'd............

I'd think I was getting canned. My boss never comes off his comp account for mere mortals.

[Tracii G]

Mumsie its not unusual for a CD to become moody or act like an ass to people they are around because they have a huge secret or baggage if you will.
I don't get close to many people because I have been burned in many friendships/marriages over time.
The fact your boss came out at work I can only imagine why or what his/her reasons were.Are you the only person that saw him/her dressed enfemme?
Him coming out I'm sure was traumatic to some degree. The fact he turned to you is a sign he feels you at best could understand.
Its no joke as you have found out and maybe you have learned something from your meeting at least I hope you did.
I have come out to several GG's and at first they thought I was kidding.Their response was less than nice more like WTH you can't be serious why would a guy even want to dress like a female? Totally out of their comprehension and comfort zone.
I was able to explain my reasons and then they said you know its OK we were awful in our response.
They found out I was a much deeper person than I put on to be in the work place.
I hope you and your boss can come to an understanding and maybe just maybe he will let his femme side take over his male side at work and become a better boss.

The old saying "Free your mind and your ass will follow" may apply here.

[Nicole Erin]

Sometimes there is an offer to have lunch with the boss at companies. Like where i work - sometimes they have a contest and the winning group gets to go have lunch with the boss of their choice.
WHAT THE ACTUAL F***? I would HATE to sit there and try to enjoy a meal with the boss right there, TOO damned stuffy! I don't hate them but still, it would have all the awkwardness that a teenager feels when he or she has to spend "quality time" with that weird aunt who asks probing questions. I would rather eat a turd then spend personal time with one of my bosses that is more than one or two rungs above me.


Blue....He knows all the sweet nice things, like I volunteer , I bake cookies for the troops, I coach cheerleading, I read to the blind....

Have you also lived in Las Vegas, Hollywood, married to a surgeon, have adopted kids, and are part of the local mom's group?
I always talk about living life. You could sure teach ME a few things about how to live. So wonderful

[Mumstheword]

I'm not in a big corporate office... There's only 6 employees , I'm his right hand, have been for 14 years.. I went in on my day off to do some follow up calls to patients, the office was closed, I was the only one there. The day before I had told him that I was going in so if he wanted the bug guy to come in(he comes monthly) he could come earlier so we didn't have to stay late Friday ... And that's when joleen came to see me. I didn't laugh, for some reason I didn't have a reaction. Like I said before I could see that he needed her. I could see all his stress gone in her face.

[bobbimo]

Thanks Monica for being open and understanding.
There is a lot of caution on this site, most are eager to help then there are ones that protect us from our innocence and naivete.
I hope you continue to check in here often. Its fun to GG's that are as open and loving as you. And we want to know more about Joleen! You should tell her about this site and invite her to join up.

Bobbi

[Tamara Croft]

Have you also lived in Las Vegas, Hollywood, married to a surgeon, have adopted kids, and are part of the local mom's group?
I always talk about living life. You could sure teach ME a few things about how to live. So wonderfulHAHA.. that made me laugh so much :lol: it's probably the boss who's a surgeon...

Anyway.... imho...:troll:

[Barbra P]

. . . how the hell do you figure if your boss asks you to meet for lunch you're obligated to go?? You're not obligated to go anywhere with your boss and if he did try to force it, well that's harassment and a law suit waiting to happen :rolleyes:
I guess it depends on what kind of business you’re in, I worked at several companies where if one of the officers invited you to go to lunch you had better d@mn well go. Business lunches are fairly common in big business. I was interviewed and hired during a business lunch and drinks; I had been coached that if the man interviewing me ordered a drink I should do likewise – it’s consediered poor form to let your host drink a lone. In that company a lunch with the boss could mean a number of things, you were getting a promotion, you were getting a raise, you were being chastised for having done something wrong, you were being fired, or he just wanted to see how you and your family were getting along.

I worked for one company where it was fairly common knowledge that if you were invited to the boss’ home for dinner you were being considered for a major promotion. The reason for the dinner invitation was to judge how your wife presented herself. If the Boss didn’t think your wife had the poise and social graces needed to represent the company then you didn’t get the promotion. If having attended the dinner the promotion was not forthcoming one knew their journey up the corporate ladder had reached its highest rung and very possibly their days were number.

[AmyGaleRT]

Monica, I feel the same way as you do sometimes. I see so many CDs whose wives are adamantly against their dressing and who can't be who they are inside as a result, and my heart just goes out to them. I do believe I'm very fortunate in having a fiancee who understands and accepts it, and I love her tremendously for it. Keeping the secret is painful for many of us, sometimes excruciatingly so...

Please don't take the "doubters" the wrong way. You have to admit some aspects of your story sounded a little outrageous, and it does cause people to wonder sometimes. After all, anyone can say anything on the Internet, you know that.

Good luck continuing to establish your friendship with Joleen, and I hope you can help her feel more at ease with herself. :)

- Amy

[Tamara Croft]

Thread done!