To Introduce Myself

[Lilo]

Hello all, I am new to posting here but have followed this forum for over a year and found it very helpful to me personally. Thank you! I frankly don't care to put a label on myself (I am me, whatever that makes me) and the specific categorizations of TS/TG/etc seem to generate unnecesary debate in this forum (in my oppinion). I have followed the SOC for the last year and a half to make this, tough, determination and have made good progress so far. I am still very happily married and have kids, all of them are aware, loving and supportive. I have not posted before partly because I was taking this all in and it was overwhelming to me. I also had all the personal support that I needed from my family and from my therapist. Recently, however, my therapist left town to SF and I have felt an increasing need to vent steam without overwhelming my wife on monotopical conversations. I am in medical treatment and out to family on both ends. Not at work yet. I am still developing plans for next steps. Frankly, I am terrified of surgeries (fear of the procedures) but also feel a strong need to blend-in and be accepted. I get worried a LOT, about everything. I also overthink, think again and when I am done, I think one last time about everything. Well, thats it for now. If you see my name pop out here or there, now you know who it is. Thank you and good to meet you all. I hope to be a more active participant.

[LeaP]

Welcome, Lilo.

When you say you are in medical treatment and have been following the SOC for the last year, what exactly do you mean? You have been seeing a therapist, which is great. Have you started HRT?

The TG/TS thing does generate discussion, no doubt about it. It is the transsexual forum, however.

[Lilo]

Yes, I am on HRT after having been in therapy for over a year. The TG/TS issue is more my personal feelings on all the discussions I have seen on how far people need to go to fit into each label. I am personally making my path as I go and so far it has gone very well. I personally find the labelling a little unnecesary and sometimes negative, but I feel that I AM posting in the right place of this website, if this makes any sense.

[LeaP]

It does, and so does the comment about making your own path. All of us do to some extent, despite commonalities. If I have sometimes taken some friendly fire for some of my choices, the questioning nonetheless was worthwhile.

[Kathryn Martin]

That makes a lot of sense. I look forward to your contributions on this board. You sound like you have things quite in hand at this time. So, Welcome!

[thechic]

Hi there and welcome to the forum, Hope all goes well, nice to see someone else is terrified of surgeries ,I m mortified by them.

[mary something]

Hi Lilo! Happy to make your acquaintance, loved the movie :)

[Angela Campbell]

I have not posted before partly because I was taking this all in and it was overwhelming to me. .

That is quite understandable and something all of us can relate to. Glad to see you!

[KellyJameson]

Welcome Lilo

The labels can feel dehumanizing which was the last thing I wanted to feel when I already felt less than human from the dysphoria of identity conflict. It helped me alot when I moved past the labels and focused on identity.

Sometimes you can get lost from identifying with the group identity as a label which just takes you farther from yourself. This can have the frustrating affect of further distancing the self from the search for understanding as identity so instead of going into yourself you are further confused and alienated.

In my opinion you have to block out all the noise others are making and really focus on the self but yet hear the stories others tell that resonate with your own experience to deepen your own understanding.

For some reason there are incredible amounts of self indulgence and fantasy mixed in with those who are genuinely suffering.

Why anyone would fantasize about being a woman or turn being Transsexual into some kind of personal podium is beyond my comprehension because the reality is extremely stark.

In my opinion take everything you hear with a grain of salt to not get sucked into the agendas of others but otherwise the forum often offers excellant advice,wisdom and insight.

[stefan37]

Welcome. Take the steps forward you need to be comfortable. Like Kelly says avoid the agendas of others. You are doing what is correct for you traveling down your own path. Many of our stories and backdrop are similar, but our journeys are unique.

[Lilo]

I have appreciated and learned tons from the experiences of others here and I am saavy enough to filter the good (lots) from the useless (for me) or clearly not well intentioned (few). My therapist suggested, take it as far as you want and as fast/slow as you need to. According to him I am on the slow track, yet it all feels very fast to me and those close to me. It still feels right and I have not been happier. I struggle with labels partly because I grew up in a culture where these things are taboo and not accepted. I also dont want or need to be placed in a bin to follow a predefined mold. Still, I am following a very common path, at my speed. I currently feel awkward, like I am still stuck in the middle, I clearly dont look like a natal woman (or a man) so I still need to develop socially in this aspect (re-socialization). My fears are all in my head, I am shy and afraid of arrousing 'scandals', like when using the public restrooms. I currently feel uneasy using either. Little steps I take every day and this gradual pace suits me well. Everyday, I gain a little more confidence ( or maybe care a little less). I also know how far I have made it when I encounter friends or others that I have not seen in months. They frequently dont recognize me. Thanks for listening and for your advise even when you did not know you were giving it to me.

[Marleena]

Welcome to the forum Lilo! A cautious approach to all of this is a good one. Kelly (especially) and the others made some good points earlier in the thread. I'm sort of stuck in limbo myself due to my own circumstances but doing nothing was not an option.

[Barbara Ella]

Welcome aboard Lilo. Yes, no matter how slow you may be going it feels like you are running a mile a minute. I doubt it will ever slow up. So glad you are at peace with yourself and have such a nice grip on your progress. If it slips from time to time, that is why we are here, to help you however possible. Jump in and chat with everyone.

Barbara