KayleeTaylor
11-12-2013, 09:41 AM
I am in my mid 30's, been dressing for over 20 years. I am bi, but in my early years, I thought I was gay.
When I was a child, I got teased for acting like a girl, some kids in school even thought I was a girl. This was because I had long hair, my behavior was not very masculine, but I wouldn't say it was very feminine at that time either. Also, my parents were very "thrifty" when it came to shopping, all my clothes were either free or secondhand, the only jacket I had was a purple jacket, some of my clothes "might have been" girls clothes. Only reason I say "might have been" is now I have a 9 year old daughter, my mom likes to get her clothes the same way she got me clothes and a lot of the stuff that she gets for my daughter is boys clothes. I get mad at her and tell her that my daughter is not wearing boys clothes, all she says to me is that she got them for a good deal and that nobody is going to know the difference anyway. So, back to the point. I was a pre-teen getting made fun of for not acting like so-called normal boys should act.
In my teen years, I got good at hiding myself, or so I thought. I was caught in my teens by one of my friends, she saw that I was wearing a cute little g-string. I was ashamed and purged my clothes, for me being so young at the time, I actually did have a lot. I never did get the chance to explain myself to her. After that incident, it took me a few years to come to terms with "who I thought I was". At that time, I was 16, I left home and moved in with a mid-20's lesbian couple. They noticed how fem I was and showed me how to dress. They even took me shopping! Well, maybe after a month or so of living with them, I met my first boyfriend. We dated for a few years, but it ended badly, he got scary towards the end. Fast forward a few years later and I was living back home with my parents. Turns out, there are no free rides because the couple I was living with kicked me out because I didn't pay rent. Now, my parents are very conservative and do not like the LGBT community or my crossdressing, my mom caught me crossdressing when I was 7 ( I'll save that one for a different time). So, I was living back home and wanted to be away from there so I could be myself. Well, I decided the quickest way out was to join the military :( I soon realized that was a very bad decision, I came to that realization after basic training(latter in life, I learned joining the Army was a wise decision).
So, in my 20's I was in the Army, constantly going to training exercises in the field, living in the barracks with other straight-male solders. I had a lot of good times but I could not let my fem side out. After a while, I learned the solders off-duty routines were nothing more than going to the bars. So I got brave again and started a new collection of clothes in the barracks, when they would go out on Fridays, I would stay in and dress up. But I couldn't keep it up for very long. Living in the barracks, you would get your room checked for cleanliness and sometimes searched for sensitive items that go missing from time to time. Also, at this time, I didn't have any friends that knew about me. So, it was time to make new friends, friends who would accept me for me. I wanted to be seen as "just another soldier" to the rest of my friends in the Army, but I also wanted my own personal life outside and away from the Army. I was in my early 20's and had never been with a girl before. But I did have a lot of girls who were friends. One of my girlfriends had her own girlfriend :) She was also in the Army and wanted out of the barracks just as bad as I did. So, we got married, that way we would be allowed to live off post. We moved into a 2 bedroom apartment, since she already had a girlfriend, she took the master bedroom. Up until that point, I was very depressed and closed off. But with my new living situation and understanding and caring roommates, things were going great, I finally had a real chance to explore who I really was. Those were some really good times!
Now was my first chance to separate my identity. At work, I could be a guy and at home I could be a girl. This is when I found out that the guy in me really likes girls too. So, sometimes at home I would just be a guy. Because now, I could be a girl whenever I wanted too, well at home at least. At that time, I started dating other girls.
Time for me to take my daughter to school, I'll write more on this later.
:fairy1:
When I was a child, I got teased for acting like a girl, some kids in school even thought I was a girl. This was because I had long hair, my behavior was not very masculine, but I wouldn't say it was very feminine at that time either. Also, my parents were very "thrifty" when it came to shopping, all my clothes were either free or secondhand, the only jacket I had was a purple jacket, some of my clothes "might have been" girls clothes. Only reason I say "might have been" is now I have a 9 year old daughter, my mom likes to get her clothes the same way she got me clothes and a lot of the stuff that she gets for my daughter is boys clothes. I get mad at her and tell her that my daughter is not wearing boys clothes, all she says to me is that she got them for a good deal and that nobody is going to know the difference anyway. So, back to the point. I was a pre-teen getting made fun of for not acting like so-called normal boys should act.
In my teen years, I got good at hiding myself, or so I thought. I was caught in my teens by one of my friends, she saw that I was wearing a cute little g-string. I was ashamed and purged my clothes, for me being so young at the time, I actually did have a lot. I never did get the chance to explain myself to her. After that incident, it took me a few years to come to terms with "who I thought I was". At that time, I was 16, I left home and moved in with a mid-20's lesbian couple. They noticed how fem I was and showed me how to dress. They even took me shopping! Well, maybe after a month or so of living with them, I met my first boyfriend. We dated for a few years, but it ended badly, he got scary towards the end. Fast forward a few years later and I was living back home with my parents. Turns out, there are no free rides because the couple I was living with kicked me out because I didn't pay rent. Now, my parents are very conservative and do not like the LGBT community or my crossdressing, my mom caught me crossdressing when I was 7 ( I'll save that one for a different time). So, I was living back home and wanted to be away from there so I could be myself. Well, I decided the quickest way out was to join the military :( I soon realized that was a very bad decision, I came to that realization after basic training(latter in life, I learned joining the Army was a wise decision).
So, in my 20's I was in the Army, constantly going to training exercises in the field, living in the barracks with other straight-male solders. I had a lot of good times but I could not let my fem side out. After a while, I learned the solders off-duty routines were nothing more than going to the bars. So I got brave again and started a new collection of clothes in the barracks, when they would go out on Fridays, I would stay in and dress up. But I couldn't keep it up for very long. Living in the barracks, you would get your room checked for cleanliness and sometimes searched for sensitive items that go missing from time to time. Also, at this time, I didn't have any friends that knew about me. So, it was time to make new friends, friends who would accept me for me. I wanted to be seen as "just another soldier" to the rest of my friends in the Army, but I also wanted my own personal life outside and away from the Army. I was in my early 20's and had never been with a girl before. But I did have a lot of girls who were friends. One of my girlfriends had her own girlfriend :) She was also in the Army and wanted out of the barracks just as bad as I did. So, we got married, that way we would be allowed to live off post. We moved into a 2 bedroom apartment, since she already had a girlfriend, she took the master bedroom. Up until that point, I was very depressed and closed off. But with my new living situation and understanding and caring roommates, things were going great, I finally had a real chance to explore who I really was. Those were some really good times!
Now was my first chance to separate my identity. At work, I could be a guy and at home I could be a girl. This is when I found out that the guy in me really likes girls too. So, sometimes at home I would just be a guy. Because now, I could be a girl whenever I wanted too, well at home at least. At that time, I started dating other girls.
Time for me to take my daughter to school, I'll write more on this later.
:fairy1: