Am I superficial? I like a real picture with a post.

[JennyLynn]

Is it just me? Sometimes when I start to get to know soemebody and they have a pretty pic or no pic at all...then when I get to know them, they end up with a pic of a bald fat man looking like a perv! They post a pic of a really pretty cd and wind up misrepresenting themselves or don't have a picture at all. Can we all be honest here? I guess I might be shallow , but I put alot of effort into looking pretty and would like those on here to do the same. I find it strange that some here don't put any effort at all into showing their femme side. Okay, maybe I'm shallow. But considering I put time and effort into being my "pretty" side, I sort expect the same. I understand that some of us dress up better than others, and it's okay if you're not a drop dead woman. But at least be honest by posting a picure of your actual self and not posting a picture of who you wished you looked like.
Yes, I am shallow.. I admit... but I'm also an admirer of honesty.
I do appreciate privacy, but what's to be ashamed of if this who you really are?
Jenny

[binx]

Well, if I was a hefty bald guy I would probably do my best to avoid you from this point on.

A lot of people are here for conversation, support, etc...They're not all here to be prettier than the next person. And some people don't want their pictures online. Maybe some are ok sharing pictures after getting to know others, but that's their choice. And there are probably more than a few people who feel self-conscious about their appearance, dressed or not. And posts like this pointing out how you think everyone should do as you do doesn't help. This place is mostly for words, pictures are a bonus.

[Krista1985]

I sort of see what you mean, but...

The internet in general is a dishonest, misleading place. It's full of fake boobs, embellished social media posts, men listing themselves as slightly taller on dating sites, women listing themselves as slightly lighter on the same sites. There are bogus sites designed to datamine your information, hackers, trackers, scammers, spammers, spear fishers, forum trolls, Nigerian 'Princes' who need your money to reclaim their fortune, identity thieves and all sorts of viruses floating around in the digital ether.

All that being said, I do appreciate honesty and would never dream of using fake or shopped pics, but I still fully expect that others can, will and do. It's just the nature of the internet in general.

[Rachael Leigh]

I understand your point but some here are very much in the closet, I was scared to post pictures at first cause I knew I would be measured by some of the stunning girls here but than I was like so what I like trying to be pretty and I do have my own style so I posted and now can't stop LOL. But I do understand your point

[LilSissyStevie]

they end up with a pic of a bald fat man looking like a perv!

Wait just a minute! I'm not that fat! To be totally honest, I look exactly like my avatar.

[EllenJo]

Jenny, I'm not sure where you're going with this but I find your characterzation of those of us who choose not to reveal our personal identity via a picture rather offensive. I do not mis represent anything about myself. I am just an older crossdresser that feels good wearing women's clothing and thought this was a forum for anyone who CD's, not just those who feel they have a superior presentation. May be you should post standards so those of us who fall into all those lessor catagories can relagate ourselves to our lowly status.
Ellen Jo

[~Joanne~]

I can see what your saying but at the same time if a sister is uneasy with posting a full picture then by all means don't. Nobody should ever feel pressured into doing something they don't want to do just because someone wants to see a full picture to kill their own curiosity.

Closeted sisters are in the closet for very many different reasons. Way too many to list here but I am sure deceiving you isn't one of them. Even though I am out to my SO, and have posted a full picture, I still consider myself closeted. I don't go out in public and mingle, I am not open about this to everyone and anyone, and I still have a long ways to go before I get to that point if I ever really do.

This is more about support, sharing, and a place to make a few like minded friends. A place to come to because we are not alone in a world where we feel alone most of the time. The picture section is great to show off a new dress or item or pictures that you think came out well but it's not a mandatory thing every girl has to post a full picture there.

[JennyLynn]

You both look stunning and even if you didn't, I appreciate your pics and honesty. Let's face it, the powers that be already have our information, one way or the other. Screw it. I won't be intimidated. I will take whatever comes my way. Nothing to hide here.

[Genny B]

Fat and Balding? I resemble that comment!

Genny B

[Gretchen_To_Be]

I for one am not ready to show myself fully. For me the illusion must be somewhat convincing otherwise it doesn't give me the thrill. I have a long way to go waist up to make that happen. I hope to get there one day; in the meantime I will spare you all from any disturbing images.

[Candice Mae]

<--- Candice is who I really am, even though I was born male I'm not ashamed of who I am.

[whowhatwhen]

I am a literal fart in the wind.

[Stephanie Miller]

Why the heck does it matter WHAT a person looks like. As long as they aren't truly trying to deceive you, they should be able to have what they want as an avatar. Just ask them, if you are really that concerned. (Word gets around quite quick about those that deceive)
Some very good "pen pals" of mine turned out to be fat, black, white or bald, etc.... and are now some of my best friends.
Reminds me of the mentality of high school boys "She's nice and well read, but.....")
Since those days I've come to know that it's WHO the person is rather than WHAT they look like.

[Vanessa5]

OK I don't have an avatar picture of myself...soo what. If you need to see a picture of me it is on my profile page (although that pic is old). I am just not comforatable putting my image with my posts just yet. Mostly because I do feel a bit paranoid that I don't present that well.

[Ava Tryptyk]

It would be great if everyone had a full picture of theirselves en femme on here but it just isn't going to happen. Some of us are shy, and others are simply unable to dress up for whatever reason (due to living with parents/relatives/SOs, certain jobs, etc). I was in the latter category for a while, and because of that I wasn't able to start posting pictures until recently. I agree with your notion that it would be inappropriate to use another CD-er's (or GG's) picture as your own, because that can surely mislead people, but there's nothing wrong with the absence of a picture, especially if they are new to the forum.

People also need to stop associating being fat and bald/balding with sexual perversion. I hear this all the time in comments like, "You know, that 'girl' you were talking to online might turn out to be a 50-year-old fat bald man." Baldness happens to a lot of men as they age and will probably happen to me too when I'm older. Many men struggle with weight issues as they grow older. Automatically putting these people into the "pervert" category is an awful thing to do.

[Jaymees22]

Yes I'm superficial and proud of it, but I can understand there are probably more reasons not to post a picture then to do so. I'm also self absorbed and can't post enough pictures of myself but that's just me. Jaymee

[RebeccaLynne]

JennyLynn, your thread reminds me of why I posted an avatar photograph to begin with... so that others could see that I wasn't a troll, an invader or pretender. I love to crossdress, and am blessed with natural hair that I haven't had cut in over eight years. That is my "crowning glory", and the one thing that I allow my outward appearance to represent. The guys I work with would tease me mercilessly if they knew the real reason I've grown it so long, and I really like keeping my CD'ing "under wraps".

I remember being apprehensive about showing an actual picture of myself enfemme, yet I found it quite liberating to do so. I wanted to demonstrate that I really was a bonafide CD'er, one with whom others here could interact freely.

Do I think you're superficial? No, I think you're someone who'd just like to have an accurate visual image of the person with whom you're interacting, in order to get a better feel for who they really are ...; nothing wrong with that, IMO. :straightface:

[JamieQ]

I sort of see what you mean, but...

The internet in general is a dishonest, misleading place. It's full of fake boobs, embellished social media posts, men listing themselves as slightly taller on dating sites, women listing themselves as slightly lighter on the same sites. There are bogus sites designed to datamine your information, hackers, trackers, scammers, spammers, spear fishers, forum trolls, Nigerian 'Princes' who need your money to reclaim their fortune, identity thieves and all sorts of viruses floating around in the digital ether.

All that being said, I do appreciate honesty and would never dream of using fake or shopped pics, but I still fully expect that others can, will and do. It's just the nature of the internet in general.

Well said. When Tracii and I met, started hanging out and started taking pictures I specifically stated they could be posted IF and ONLY IF they were not photoshoppe edited or such. The only thing I have done is cropping and shortening videos. I want to present how I am not in any made up fake way...:)I have wondered often about some stunning pics I see...

[RenneB]

Although I can kind of see what you mean on the picture front. I would agree with the others, some of us choose not to show our physical side. For that I would think is for a number of reasons. The really young and attractive CDrs get a tremendous amount of attention. Just check the reply and the visit count of a few of the girls from say Norway or Brazil..

There are also a few girls on this site that choose to hide their real identity for a number of reasons. Either they are just here for the chat and it's a fantasy or they are really attractive and choose to not get the attention.

For me, I like all of us. That is 'cept the hackers. Those that make it through the barrier of posts and then go on to .... well do what ever. Look we all come in all shapes and sizes and genders and I don't want to judge a person by their 'cover'.

If you sound honest and your words ring true, I'll be your friend...

Renne.....

[Kate Simmons]

I change my avatar a lot but it has nothing to do with being bald.(I'll just let the fat comment slide :heehee:). In any case a lot of the female pics I post are of course not me but rather looks I'd like to try and in general ladies I admire. I do have plenty of different looks as myself that I post from time to time anyway. You want to see the real me en femme it's always on my profile. In all honesty I get tired of looking at my own puss all the time, ergo the other pics. I have about a bazillion pics of myself en femme if anyone is interested and that's just a conservative estimate.;):battingeyelashes::) P.S. My own pics on my profile, et. al. are all natural and not altered in any way.

[AmyGaleRT]

Jenny, when I first came here, I was still too timid to put up a real picture, so I used one I'd generated in a Web-based "dress-up" game. It took awhile before I gained enough confidence to reveal myself, even in this environment! And my early pictures weren't as good as the ones of me these days...

None of mine are 'shopped, though. All I do to prepare images for posting is crop them and resize them to the sizes the forum will support.

- Amy

[Karren H]

I never thought of myself as fat... sigh....

[Kate Simmons]

Hoo boy Karr, a no-win question: "Does this (fill in the blank) make me look fat?":heehee:

[Gillian Gigs]

Sorry, but I don't need someone judging whether I should have a real picture or an avatar. We are supposed to love and accept each other regardless of how we present ourselves. Who wants to look at an old fart in a dress anyway? Maybe that is why so many of us are still in the closet, and maybe that is a good thing!

Somebody said, "beauty is only skin deep. but ugly is to the bone". No need to go looking, you might not like what you find!

[AllieSF]

Jenny, if you dislike this so much, and also feel that it is necessary to directly insult many members here who fit into that bald fat man description that you so rudely used, then maybe you should just move on to some other site where you will probably be much happier and not find it necessary to post such an inconsiderate thread. You are more than superficial . You are extremely shallow, immature for saying that you want everyone to present as you desire. Grow up, please apologize and move on. These type of unfortunate threads pop up every so often and are definitely not well received by the general membership nor by the Mods and Admins. As you can see, I am upset by it.

What pics one posts, what avatars they use, if they even use one, is totally up to that member. If you do not want to trust them, that is your choice. If you base you opinions of others on true pics of themselves, then you have a problem that you need to work on. There are a lot of troubled people here trying to find their way and trying to live with themselves with this side of themselves and to live with others, including those closest to them. They sure do not need your demeaning words to "support" their efforts to make it all work for the best.

I will leave everyone else to give you the very good reasons why posting pics and avatars of themselves is not for everyone. You should show more respect for your fellow members and accept their reasons, better yet, you shouldn't even be asking for a reason.

I will repeat, please apologize to everyone.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Way to go, EllenJo! I agree. There are a lot of reasons why someone might not want to post a 'real' picture, and it is really not up to the rest of us to question someone else's decision about an avatar. This is supposed to be a place where we can feel comfortable and be ourselves - and not be forced to live up to someone else's expectations.

I also agree with Sveta regarding the bald fat male perv stereotype; if we find it offensive that people associate being crossdressers with being perverts, how is it OK that we associated being bald, fat and male with being perverts? Answer: it's not OK.

Deedee

[Ressie]

Can we be honest here? Revealing one's true fat, bald self seems honest to me. This is reality. Most men tend to put on a few pounds and lose hair as they age. You're apparently talking about PMs not public posts. If you're looking to date another CD I can see why you're surprised. And reading between the lines it sounds kind of like that's you're talking.

Complete honestly would be showing everyone here two photos. Before and after, drab and en femme, but not many here care to be that revealing. I appreciate everyone that shares en femme photos but some don't have that option. And I'm sure there are admirers that look like pervs, and let's face it, some are.

[Samantha_Smile]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?186531-Liars-Dreamers-Trolls-Pictures-and-Identity&highlight=

I posted the above a while ago, didnt go down well.
You owe nobody an apology Jenny, so dont give one up.
There are far too many liars and dreamers around, Ive spoken to plenty of them, and it saddens me to think that people stoop to the level of lying to get a conversation out of you.
The works of blatant fabricational spew Ive seen on these boards alone makes me cringe. How people get taken in by it and praise the author.
Why is it so wrong to ask for photographic proof?
Why do people get offended at this request? Something to hide? Feeling defensive? Who knows.
While I respect a persons right to privacy, I do not respect a person who deceives willfully.

I am 100% with you Jenny, you DONT need to "just move on to some other site where you will probably be much happier and not find it necessary to post such an inconsiderate thread" because your thread was not inconsiderate, it was motivated by your need for truth, dont second guess yourself.

"You should show more respect for your fellow members and accept their reasons, better yet, you shouldn't even be asking for a reason."
I call BS here, if that's your outlook, why participate in the discussion?

Allow ME to repeat, APOLOGISE TO NO-ONE.
You do not owe one, so do not make one.

"I do appreciate privacy, but what's to be ashamed of if this who you really are?"
Nailed it luv.

[LelaK]

Apologize if you find that you did someone wrong, preferably not before, because it wouldn't be honest, it seems.

No need to leave the forum, even if you're superficial or rude, as far as I'm concerned. We all probably learn by interacting.

You can see my foto on my profile, but you're not wanting to date, are you? I don't show my foto here, because I'm much better looking than my avatar, and it would depress everyone to see the real me. They'd make me leave for sure.

But even my foto doesn't depict the real me. In the foto I have clothes on. The real me is naked, and has no wig or makeup. The real me is also full of organs and fluids and stuff that are hard to show in a regular foto.

Come to think of it, the REAL real me is my consciousness, and I don't know how to show that to anyone. That's where I store the concept that I'm a girl, despite my physical body pretending that I'm not.

[JennyLynn]

Wow! What a wild ride of responses. First of all I would like to apologize for my "fat and bald" comment. I never meant to offend anyone with it, but it came as a result of a friend request who was a fat bald troll with the creepiest of smiles. No makeup, hair, clothes...nothing but a guy leering at me from behind his computer. It gave me the creeps. At least he was honest enough to post a picture so I could make up my own mind. I do not apologize for the heart of the thread. I sincerely wanted to know your responses. And boy, did I get them. I thank you all for your honesty, even those of you who ripped me. Criticism is good, as it makes you evaluate your actions. Again, I stand by the thread, but do apologize for my lack of sensitivity for all you very pretty "fat and bald" ladies out there.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Too much angst. Next post.

...and I'm not superficial.

...yes I am

...no I'm not.

:hugs: rBBn

[Erica Marie]

Well if you are shallow, sorry to say I am right there with you. I dont expect everyone to be pretty sexy runway models. But if someone wants to present a picture, I too believe it should be of themself. Not a chinese avatar, not a copy of a pic they found, sorry photoshop doesnt count either. If its your head or body they should present as they came not adapted from something else. Ill admit I started out with the big black blob across my face but as I learned that I am who I am the blob went away. It is nice to have friends, but it is nicer to know who they are no matter what they look like. Just because someone is chubby and bald and wears a dress doesnt mean that they cant end up a real good friend.
Sorry just my .02¢

[DAVIDA]

This is a support forum, not a tear down forum.
There are NO requirements for anyone to have an avatar at all.
If someone doesn't want to, or they feel like they can't for whatever reason, they don't have to put up any pictures. Especially to try to please anyone else.
This thread is closed.

[Tamara Croft]

Allow ME to repeat, APOLOGISE TO NO-ONE.
You do not owe one, so do not make oneI know this thread is closed, but I am going to make a comment on this. An apology was warranted for the nasty comments about people hiding behind pictures and them probably being fat and bald. This was offensive, rude and uncalled for.

So, let me make this perfectly clear so you rude and inconsiderate people understand. If I see ANY more threads like this pop up on this forum, you'll have no warning, no chance to apologise, you'll be off this board quicker than I can say Jack Robinson.

This is a support forum, it isn't a forum for you to come here making nasty comments about people who do not share pictures. And for the OP, yours isn't even clear to see anything, it could be anyone, you have no proof that it's even you. And those who say they are 100% them in their pictures, well excuse me, but you'll find you're wearing wigs and makeup, hiding the REAL you. That clear enough?